It's A Bird! It's A Plane!

by Steve Beaulieu

  He tapped the control on the side of his steering wheel that, for most people, would access a cell phone to make a call. With the upgraded tech in his vehicle, it immediately accessed a secure direct line to his lair.

  “Harrier to Kite.”

  No answer. Was something wrong with the system? He tapped the control again.

  “Red Kite. You there?”

  After a long pause, he got a response. “Sorry, there’s nobody here by that code name.”

  “What?” Oh, right. As if he didn’t have enough to worry about already, he couldn’t believe he was going to have to deal with this ridiculousness. It came with the territory of working with moody teenagers, he supposed. “Raptor. Red Raptor.”

  The teen’s face appeared on the dashboard video screen. “At your service.”

  “Sorry. I keep forgetting.” The truth was, he just couldn’t accept the new code name. Not only did he hate it, it also no longer carried on the tradition of his two previous sidekicks. But he was tired of arguing about it. “Did you get my earlier message about—?”

  “Already on it. I’ve been trying to hack into this woman’s accounts, but I haven’t had any luck so far. She’s got DropFile, inCloud, and a couple of other backups going. I did eff up her cell service, though, so she won’t be able to do jack on it. But as soon as she connects to Wi-Fi, whether it’s at home or some coffee place, she’s good to go.”

  “You think you’ll be able to get into her account, Ki—er, Raptor?”

  “For sure. But it’s gonna take more time.” He stopped typing for a moment as he turned to look at Harrier on the screen. “You think maybe you can stall her?”

  Harrier gritted his teeth. He wasn’t looking forward to this. “What’s her address?”

  • • •

  As Frank pulled up to Danielle’s tiny condo in one of the city’s less-affluent neighborhoods, he felt a twinge of guilt for not paying his employees enough to live someplace better. Especially considering the vast amounts of wealth he raked in for—truthfully—not really doing all that much work. But he also spent a great deal of that money on his extracurricular activities—saving the city—so it didn’t bother him too much.

  He parked down the street and made sure to set the alarm on his sports car. But he still felt like it might not be there when he got back, considering it probably cost more than the houses in the neighborhood. He thought about his plan as he headed up the block to her place. He would try to charm her, and then take her out to dinner at a fancy restaurant…one with no Wi-Fi. That should give Raptor plenty of time to delete his picture from all of her “clouds.”

  Suddenly, he found himself surrounded by several gang members. Normally, he would have noticed them before they even got close, but he was letting this situation monopolize his attention and get to him way too much.

  The apparent leader of the group approached him first as the rest closed in on him slowly. “Whatta we have here, boys? Looks like this old rich guy got himself lost.”

  Old? C’mon. Sure, he was starting to get a little gray around the temples, but—

  “Maybe he needs some directions.” The second guy smiled and showed off his gold teeth. “You need some directions, old man?”

  Frank obviously wasn’t scared, but he was concerned about one thing. How was he going to take on all these guys in broad daylight without everyone questioning how he did it?

  The leader got right up in Frank’s face. “I think maybe we can send him off in the right direction for a small donation. What do you think, mister? You wanna donate to our little club if we tell you where to go?”

  Frank’s eyes narrowed as he leaned in even closer to the leader’s face. “How about I tell you were to go?”

  The gang members all started whooping and hollering at this, thinking it was hilarious. The leader didn’t think it was so funny. “Man, I was just gonna take your wallet and watch, but now you are dead.”

  The leader swung at Frank, who casually avoided the fist. Then he pulled out a knife and jabbed it at Frank’s chest.

  Frank reached out and grabbed the leader’s wrist and twisted until it made a popping sound. Then he pulled him forward while he raised his knee so the gangster’s face connected with it. Hard. The leader slumped to the sidewalk, where he would undoubtedly be spending the next several hours.

  Frank looked down at his knee and brushed off his pants. “I didn’t get any blood on my new suit, did I?”

  The rest of the gang members stood around silently, picking their proverbial jaws up off the ground. Frank straightened his tie and fixed his cuffs, addressing the young men without looking at them. “Is there something else I can do for you gentlemen?”

  Gold-tooth backed away along with his friends. “Nah, nah, man, we’re good.”

  “Then have yourselves a nice evening.”

  A few houses down, Frank climbed up a small set of steps and rang the doorbell to Danielle’s duplex. He scanned the area to make sure the gangsters were really gone and weren’t going to try something stupid, but there was no sign of them.

  Danielle was lecturing somebody on the other side of the thin door, and it was obvious that she didn’t realize people outside could hear her. “I’m pretty sure that was more than thirty minutes, don’t you think? Should I try to get it free?”

  She opened the door dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, and looked even more surprised than when she saw him earlier in the garage. “Mr. Douglas? Oh, wow. I was expecting a pizza.”

  “I’m sorry to just show up here. I felt bad about earlier, and I thought maybe I could take you out to dinner or something to make it up to you.”

  The door swung open wider, and a guy with an apparently ironic haircut and a beard like a bird’s nest looked Frank up and down. “Who is this guy, babe? Why’s he want to take you out to dinner?”

  “Relax, Nate. It’s just my boss.”

  Nate puffed out his chest and tried to look tough. “What is it you’re trying to apologize for, old man?”

  Again with the old man? Since when is 45 old?

  “I just had a mishap with her phone earlier, and I felt bad about it. I can actually buy dinner for both of you if you’d like.”

  “Are you saying I can’t pay for my own meals, or take care of my woman? What’s your problem, dude?”

  “I’m just trying to—” Nate tried to shove him off the steps, but Frank didn’t budge. Nate looked like an idiot bouncing off of him. Frank tried to calm him down, but Nate was just getting angrier. “Look, I don’t want—”

  Nate took a swing at Frank’s face, but Frank’s hand came up like a blur. He easily caught Nate’s fist in the palm of his hand.

  Danielle panicked. “Nate, you’re going to get me fired!”

  Frank let go of Nate’s hand as the man backed off, shocked.

  “I’m gonna call my boys and we’re gonna take this D-bag down.” Nate grabbed a cell phone off a nearby table, and Frank immediately recognized it as Danielle’s phone from earlier. Now was his chance.

  Taking a step forward, Frank calmly grabbed Nate’s hand with the phone in it and squeezed. Nate screamed as the phone fell to the floor and cracked open, then fell to his knees holding his hand.

  Danielle knelt next to her boyfriend and stared at Frank. He recognized the combination of disbelief and fear in her eyes. He just wasn’t used to seeing it while out of costume.

  “Sorry, Ms. Taylor, but he seemed like he might be a bit out of control. I’m sure if you put some ice on his hand, it’ll be fine. As for your phone…”

  He picked the pieces up off the floor. He sensed someone else behind him and, thinking it was another attack, spun and almost kicked the pizza delivery guy in the chest. The guy threw the pizza in the air as he jumped back, and Frank managed to grab the box out of the air with the hand that wasn’t holding the phone.

  Frank put the pizza down carefully on a nearby chair and checked on the delivery man, trying to remember if it was this pizza chain he owned
or a different one. “You okay?”

  The guy seemed nervous, but he nodded his head. “You scared the crap out of me. I’ve been beat up three times in this neighborhood already.”

  “Here. Maybe this’ll make you feel better.” Frank pulled a couple of hundreds out of his wallet and handed them to the guy.

  The pizza guy stood in shock and looked at the bills in his hand. Then his eyes widened as he realized something. “Hey! Aren’t you—”

  “No.” Frank looked back to make sure Danielle and Nate weren’t looking at him, then quietly slipped the guy another Benjamin. “And you never saw me here, right?”

  “Riiiiiiight.” The pizza guy left with a huge grin on his face.

  Frank turned back toward Danielle and held up the pieces of the broken phone. “I’m really sorry about all this. I feel like I keep causing more of a mess. I’ll go down to the store right now and buy you the newest model, with all the bells and whistles.”

  Frank smiled, then turned around and headed out.

  After he closed the door, he heard Nate’s voice from inside as he walked away. “Bells and whistles? What the f—”

  • • •

  “Any luck?” Frank had called Raptor again from his car as soon as he got in.

  “Yeah. It’s wiped. At least the ones of you. There were also vids of her and some caveman getting sweaty if you ever need to blackmail her.”

  Frank grinned. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary.”

  “How’d it go? With the stalling?”

  Frank thought about it for a moment. “It wasn’t quite what I was anticipating, but it all worked out in the end. I guess I still have a few moves left for an old man.”

  A Word from Christopher J Valin

  I’ve been a comic book and superhero fan (especially Batman) as far back as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories are of watching repeats of the old Adam West TV series when I was growing up in the ‘70s and coloring in Batman coloring books. As I got older, I started writing and drawing my own comics and creating my own heroes while collecting comic books obsessively. I loved the covers of Giant-Size X-Men #1 and Amazing Spider-Man #129 so much that I tore them off and hung them on my wall (not the best financial decision I’ve ever made).

  I was lucky enough to be able to get a job at, and eventually manage, a comic book and collectibles store while I was in college, and even got to work as a writer and inker for some small comic book publishers for several years as an adult. So I’ve been intimately connected to the industry my whole life. For a time, I was sidetracked by screenwriting, writing and teaching about history, and, later, short stories. But when I decided to write my first full novel on my own, there was no other choice but to go back to my first love, creating my own world full of superheroes and villains.

  If you enjoyed my story, please check out Sidekick: The Red Raptor Files – Part 1, which takes place in the same universe, called the “Raptorverse” after its central character. You can also find my other books and short stories at my Amazon author’s page and more about me at my website, ChristopherValin.com. Finally, if you’d like to keep up with my new releases, as well as giveaways and other fun stuff, please subscribe to my newsletter. Thanks for reading!

  MERCURIAL

  BY ALEXIA PURDY

  MERCURIAL

  BY ALEXIA PURDY

  Cameron Ulrich

  (Powerless Citizen—sort of…)

  Stinger flung his sharp, thorn-like needles from his fingertips, an ability that made me cringe. Trying not to get in the way of the ricocheting projectiles, I focused on watching Mercurial Man give chase. The guy was massive, his bulky muscles flexing beneath his thin T-shirt and his well-worn jeans hugging his thighs. I could watch them all night, but from what I could see, they were unaware they had an audience.

  I’d watched them for weeks. It wasn’t too hard. Not when you knew their secret identities and had documented their quirks, habits, and powers down to what dental floss they used. Stalkerish much, right? Well… for me, it was a matter of life and death. Luckily, it just took some patience. I’d spent hours perched on rooftops and fire escapes near their haunts. Follow a superhero around long enough, you’ll find where they live, eat, sleep… and pretty much everything else. Just as long as you didn’t get too close, they were mostly oblivious to the tiny woman watching them from afar. I guess they assumed I was just an overly obsessed fan.

  But I was far from that. You could say I was obsessed, but I wasn’t just stalking them. Ever since I’d discovered my own powers, I had watched the superheroes roam the city. One by one, I’d added them to my list until I had acquired quite a stack of names. It wouldn’t be easy, but I already knew who I’d start with and who could help me complete my first mission.

  Mercurial swung a loose, industrial-sized trashcan at Stinger, who dodged it easily. He was slender, quick, and agile. So was Mercurial, but his bulk did give him a slight half-second delay in catching up with Stinger. This fatal flaw was something he knew about. He had managed to avoid most of the thorns Stinger threw his way. Anyone else would’ve been pelted by these needles flinging through the air like tiny bullets. Not Mercurial. He’d managed to fend off the attack by holding up sheets of metal he’d torn from the dumpster’s lid, like a shield.

  It never failed to surprise me, the way these two fought. It was a visual dance that kept me glued to the action.

  Stinger was inexperienced but gaining ground in street fighting. His main technique was slipping out of his opponent’s hands, jumping from obstacle to obstacle, and climbing fire escapes like nothing. Mercurial’s brute strength kept the guy grounded; he threw a flurry of objects into the air, catching Stinger before he could gain any height. It was a sight to behold, these two, and I knew I had chosen my first subjects.

  An oversized stinger flung threw the air, and Mercurial released the trash bin, but he let out a yelp before he could dodge the projectile. I strained my neck to see if he’d been hurt, but I couldn’t tell from this distance. I did notice, however, that Stinger ran right past me; a breeze shifted with his movements as he rounded the corner. I turned around, trying to see which direction he’d gone, when someone jerked my purse right out of my hands.

  “Hey! Stop!” I hollered, taking chase after the robber who had my bag tucked beneath his arm and was bolting as though his life depended on it. I flew behind him, heading into the depths of Central Park, weaving through the paths without any thought to how dark it was getting. I had almost lost him when something large whooshed past me under the bridge and into the darkness.

  I heard a yelp, then a string of curses and whines as I rounded the corner. Staring into the bushes, I narrowed my eyes and strained to find the source. Out there, the robber had my stuff, and I needed it for my next nursing class exam. Out there, someone had just smacked the doofus in the face, based on the sound of crunching bones I could hear echoing out toward me.

  I bent over to catch my breath. I felt winded and dizzy. I had to get into better shape if I was going to be chasing these guys around. Days of lying around watching superheroes and studying in night school to be a nurse had squeezed the endurance right out of me. First on the list to do was get back in shape. ASAP. Superheroes weren’t out of shape. That was no way to behave if I wanted to be on their side.

  From the continued yelps and cries emanating from the bushes, I suspected my robber had met an unfortunate end to his adventures. But by who’s hand?

  Warrick “Mercurial Man” Lorenson

  aka: Merc

  I felt the crunch of bones beneath my fingers as I squeezed the guy’s arm at an odd angle. He yelped in pain before he begged me to stop.

  “You think robbing little girls and old ladies in the park is fun? This is fun. I think I can break both your arms and never break a sweat.” I sucked in a breath, feeling the pull to my injured side. I’d have to deal with that later. “Now your robbing days are over, got it? I’ll make sure to keep an eye on you, and if you do it aga
in, I’ll break a leg for each time you try to make a move to rob anyone. Comprende?”

  “Yesss!” He screeched in pain, sobbing as he cradled his arm. “I won’t do it again. I swear! Please, let me go.”

  I did as he asked, though being two feet above the ground, he had a short fall before he crumpled in a heap, his legs weak and dampened with his own urine. I wrinkled my nose as he scrambled away, whimpering into the night. Chuckling, I took another swig from my flask. The alcohol no longer burned down my throat but felt hot and tasted sweet as I let it infiltrate my head, leaving a heady and euphoric feeling behind.

  “Your liver is waving the white flag, you know.” A voice interrupted my wavering thoughts, and I spun around to find the girl who’d been chasing the hooligan down, screaming threats as though she had a leg to stand on.

  “Go away. I got your stuff back.” I grabbed her purse off the ground and tossed it in her general direction before downing another swallow. I stumbled and reached out to grab on to a tree trunk. The rough bark embedded itself into my palm. Staring out across Central Park, the lights danced in my vision as my eyelids grew heavier.

  “Um, thanks? You could’ve just taken him to the police station. Breaking bones is a bit… malicious for a superhero, isn’t it?”

  “What’s it to you? I handle things the way I handle ’em, and if you don’t like it, why don’t you try to do it yourself? Tired of saving you ingrates.” I stumbled, falling right on my damn face.

  Great.

  “Oh, I can see you’ve got it all under control,” the girl snickered.

  I eyed her, throwing her a wry look, but instead had to squeeze my lids together to avoid the throbbing headache I’d just given myself. “What?”

  She bent down and studied me, curiosity pasted across her shining eyes. This girl was far too close. “Are you all right?”

  “Go away!” I snapped.

  She turned up her nose and was about to stand and go away when her eyes widened in horror. “Hey, you’re hurt! Oh, crap! There’s blood all over your side there!” She turned to call for help, but I slapped my hand onto her arm, curling my fingers around her slender wrist and squeezing until she yelped.