Fate Forged

by B. P. Donigan

  The furniture in the room was heavy and masculine. A thick blanket, the same rich green color as the drapes, covered a four-poster bed. The floor-to-ceiling window on the opposite side of the room framed a dark sky and a balcony beyond it. I wondered if it was a real window or another magic-infused illusion like at the Council Centre.

  “You can sleep here.”

  The blanket was tossed back from where someone had slept on the giant bed. Several sheathed swords leaned against the wall, and a stack of books with titles in foreign languages lay on a round side table. Two portable consoles rested next to the books.

  “Is this your room?” I asked.

  “Yes. Officially, it’s a servant’s quarters. The Prime suite is occupied by my brother and Aria.” He gripped the back of his neck and flashed me an awkward grin. “The guest suites are on the other side of the house. I thought you’d appreciate a shorter walk considering your condition. You can’t skim within the house, so...” He looked around the room self-consciously. “I can wake someone to set up a different room if you’d prefer?”

  It was a rare peek into his life. I could ask for another room, but this bed was so close. And it probably smelled like him. I glanced at the window. If it wasn’t a complete illusion, it was the middle of the night.

  “No, this is good.” I didn’t know if he planned on sleeping in the bed with me. My brain was too exhausted to contemplate how I felt about that possibility. I really needed to sleep.

  Silas indicated a closed door on the side of the room. “There’s a cleansing room behind there. Do you want to wash?”

  My skin was free of blood from the Healer, and I was so, so tired. “I just want to sleep. Can I borrow a shirt?”

  Silas rifled through a closet and came out with a black top. He turned his back as I slid out of his cloak and into the shirt. It fell to my thighs. I slipped into his bed and groaned in pleasure. As I suspected, the bed was sinfully comfortable. I closed my eyes at the luxury that seemed unimaginable after the day I’d just had.

  The lights dimmed, and I opened my eyes to see Silas standing by the door. Panic hit when I realized he was leaving. I didn’t want to be alone. I opened my mouth and said the first thing that came to mind. “The Brotherhood knew where I would be today. They were waiting for me.”

  Silas’s face darkened, and his jaw flexed. “I want to bring Remus back from the dead and kill him again.”

  A shiver ran down my spine. “Can you do that?”

  “No. But right now I’m tempted to try.” He moved back into the room, and the pressure in my chest let up.

  “I don’t feel guilty exactly, but it wasn’t a pleasant way to die.” I closed my eyes, remembering all the people I had drained of magic. They’d all been trying to kill me, but the body count was adding up.

  “He was sentenced to die for his previous attacks before Alaric used his influence to have him exiled. You did both our realms a favor.”

  The knowledge that Remus had hurt other people made me sick. Everything that had happened today threatened to overwhelm me.

  “Stephan and I owe you a personal debt for saving Aria. She is... fragile.”

  I remembered the way she had confronted me about my feelings for Silas, and her refusal to leave me behind today. She was refined and soft-spoken, but she wasn’t fragile. “She’s stronger than you think.”

  “I only mean that she’s not a fighter,” he corrected. “She sees good in everyone and wants to fix all their problems. We were always a poor match that way.” He ran a hand across his stubbled chin and sighed. “Who else knew you were going to the City Centre today?”

  “You and Atticus, obviously. Aria’s guards. Anyone who saw us leaving. It’s a long list. But Alaric is the one who cleared the way for me to be there. He could have easily arranged the ambush.”

  “I’ll follow up with each one, see who they talked to. If we can link them to Alaric, the Council will have an easier time with his conviction.”

  “What are they going to do with Alaric?”

  “If the Council can gather enough evidence, we will vote for execution.” He studied my face and sat on the edge of the bed. “What he’s done is inexcusable. Think of all the lives the Brotherhood has destroyed.”

  “I know he hates me, but I can’t believe he would do that to his own daughter.”

  “Alaric proved a long time ago that he only cares about himself. He would do anything for more power.” Silas’s jaw clenched. “He will pay for what he’s done.”

  “I don’t understand how Titus and Remus got into Aeterna undetected.” I scanned the room, feeling as if Titus could be anywhere, lurking in the corners.

  “The portal to and from Earth is secure,” Silas said. “Everyone must be authorized and logged upon entry and departure.”

  “Could they have someone who is covering up their tracks?”

  Silas hummed in agreement. “I’ll review the records myself tomorrow.”

  “You need to keep this quiet until you figure out who’s helping them. You don’t want to scare the traitors off before we have a chance to question them.”

  He gave me a half scowl. “I’m aware of how to do my job.”

  “Can the Council keep Alaric’s imprisonment quiet?” I asked.

  One of Silas’s eyebrows rose. “The Council has been keeping this quiet for half a decade.”

  Right. “I want to help you get the proof you need.”

  “You’ve been attacked twice. You need to stay here where you’re protected. House Valeron is secure, and our people can be trusted.”

  “But I can tell if someone is using the Brotherhood’s power,” I argued. “And you can keep me safe while we do it. Win-win.”

  He frowned but then nodded. “I can live with that.”

  “Did we just make a compromise?”

  A shadow of a smile lifted the corners of his lips. “I can’t believe it either.”

  I tried to hide a yawn and failed.

  Silas stood as though he were going to leave then paused. His magic flared gently around him. “I almost forgot. You dropped these when you landed in the Council’s chambers.” He held out Ripper and Marcel’s charm.

  Tears welled up in my eyes, and I had to look away. “Stay with me, Silas.” My tone bordered on pleading.

  He froze, his face buried in shadows, making it impossible to guess what he was thinking.

  “I don’t...” He cleared his throat. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Sleep well, Maeve.”

  I WOKE UP IN A SWEAT, my heart pounding. Remus had terrorized my dreams. The sky outside was still dark, but my brain brimmed with too much turmoil to sleep. Intent on a shower, I got out of bed and padded on heavy legs to the bathroom. A dim light glowed when I walked in, but it took me several minutes to gather the courage to look in the mirror. I had been healed but was still surprised that I looked normal.

  Random bits of horror popped into my head as I stared at my reflection. The crazed look in Titus’s eyes. Remus’s rough hands on my body. Aria unconscious on the ground.

  I shook myself out of my daze and tried to figure out how to work the shower. I couldn’t see a showerhead, but a panel of buttons looked promising. I stripped off my clothes and started pushing things at random. A pulse of air washed over me. Another sonic-magic shower. I sighed. I really missed the steamy comfort of hot water. The pulse carried the crisp scent of soap, which smelled like Silas. After I was done, my skin was clean, but my mind still hadn’t slowed. With a sigh of disappointment, I slipped back into his T-shirt.

  I returned to the bedroom and found Silas waiting for me near the bed. He was in the same clothes from earlier, and his hair was sticking out as though he’d been running his hands through it. “I... felt your fear through the bond and came to check on you.”

  Confused, I blinked at him. He could feel things through the Aegis bond? My expression must have given away my surprise because he hurried to add, “I can only sense strong emotions: fear, pain. I wou
ld have mentioned it earlier—I forget you don’t know certain things. Don’t lose your temper.”

  His obvious fear over ticking me off cooled my anger before it had a chance to really get started. “That seems... intrusive. And totally one-sided, I might add.”

  “You could feel the same from me. If you prefer, I can show you how to block everything.”

  “...should block everything.”

  “Are there any side effects?” a man asks. He’s outside my immediate scope of vision. His voice is distant but familiar.

  “Just the intended ones. She’ll be groggy for a few days, but she should be fine to travel immediately.” A thin-haired man with light-brown hair leans in and pats my arm in a fatherly gesture that brings tears to my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Mae. We’re all so sorry.”

  “I’m ready,” I respond.

  The vision had come on so fast, I froze in place for a moment. But this one had been different—it wasn’t Marcel’s memory. “Something happened to me,” I said to Silas. “But I can’t remember...”

  I blinked, and Silas stood in front of me with a murderous expression. “He’s not going to hurt you again.”

  He misunderstood the cause of my distress, but my throat tightened with unexpected emotion. Maybe I wasn’t alone in this. Silas cared what happened to me, and I wasn’t expecting the warm feeling that brought. My entire life, I’d lived on my own, looking out for myself, and I was fine with that. Being alone had made me tough, independent. And I liked that about myself. But Silas’s concern made my heart ache in a way that was both incredibly comforting and painful at the same time.

  Silas pulled me into his arms and tucked my head under his chin. “You’re safe now.”

  I leaned into his chest and held my breath as I listened to his steady heartbeat. The dark cocooned us, creating a space for whispered truths. “I’ve been having more visions. I thought they were Marcel’s memories, but...”

  His hand moved to the back of my head and stroked my hair.

  “There’s more to it than just Marcel’s memories.” I wasn’t sure how to explain it. “I feel like I’m starting to remember things from my past, but it’s not really my past. I can’t explain it. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

  He buried his face in my hair, and I leaned into his chest.

  “Titus didn’t want just my magic. He was after my memories. He wanted to do something called an ‘unbinding,’ but I think he wasn’t sure it would work. He thinks something locked in my head can lead to this Lost Sect, and he’s planning on stealing their powers.” I took a deep breath and admitted the thing I’d been worried about. “Silas, I think I did something to my memories.”

  He pulled back with a concerned frown. “Whatever is happening, we’ll figure it out. Tessa is an expert on archaic conjurings. Maybe she can tell us something about this unbinding spell Titus mentioned.”

  “I just want to forget everything for tonight,” I whispered. “Titus, Remus... the Council. Everything bad. I know that makes me a total coward.”

  His arms tightened slightly around me. “You’re the strongest, most brave woman I know.”

  I smiled at the respect in his voice. “Wait, did you just give me a compliment?”

  “You seem to be suffering from a skewed understanding of my opinion about you.”

  His lips were so close, and his body was pressed against mine.

  “What is your opinion about me?” I whispered back. “Honestly, you confuse the hell out of me.”

  His eyes dropped to my lips. A struggle played out on his face, and he shook his head slowly. “Maeve...”

  I pulled back, not wanting to hear the rejection that was about to follow. His life was complicated, and I had vowed not to insert myself into it. “Never mind. Forget it.” I tried to untangle myself from his hold. “I know you don’t want me to—”

  “Wanting you is not the problem.”

  His mouth closed over mine so suddenly that I froze for a moment before I kissed him back. My whole body ached to be closer. I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. His hands pulled me tighter against him. Our mouths moved together, hungry for each other.

  Kissing Silas was like all the best things about magic. Warm tingles slid across my skin, and happiness pooled in my soul. He was warmth and strength, and I couldn’t get enough.

  When we pulled apart, he rested his forehead against mine and cupped my neck with his hand. “Gods, I know I shouldn’t drag you into my life.” His thumb stroked along my jaw. “But I can’t seem to let you go.”

  My heartbeat stuttered for an entirely new reason as I searched for the right words. “I know your life is complicated.” This moment was a tipping point. Saying the wrong thing would push him away. But I didn’t know what I could say to overcome his obsession with keeping me safe from his messy life. “I don’t care about any of that. I just want you. Just tell me you want me too, and we can figure out the rest of it together.”

  He stepped back from my embrace, holding my hands. “I won’t tie you to me while I drown, no matter what I want.”

  “What do you really want, Silas?” I let my confusion and irritation show in my voice. He kept jerking me around—kissing me like that then telling me we couldn’t be anything more.

  His mouth drew into a hard line, and he released his grip on me.

  Frustration got the better of me. “Just tell me what you want, dammit! No more mind games.”

  “What I want doesn’t matter. I never wanted any of this to happen. My life is such a fratching mess. You know I’m bonded with Aria, and I’ve claimed her child as my own. I can’t recognize you publicly.”

  “When are you going to get it through your head? I don’t care about any of that!”

  He grabbed my hands again and squeezed them painfully hard between his. “Maeve, you don’t understand. You’d inherit all of my enemies, but you wouldn’t have my name to protect you. If I’m bonded to someone else, you’d be little more than a—a concubine to House Valeron, an interloper between mine and Aria’s rightful bond.”

  “Screw everyone else! I don’t care what they think about me.”

  “You deserve so much better. I can’t do that to you.”

  I was cold all over as we looked at each other. That was it, then. I wanted him, but the price was too high for him. Even though I would’ve been the one paying that price, he wouldn’t let me into his life. I couldn’t let him into my heart if he didn’t want me in his.

  I wrapped my arms around myself. “I can’t keep doing this with you.”

  “And I won’t ask it of you.” Pain reflected in his eyes before the blank mask slid into place, widening the distance between us.

  He left without another word. I had no tears to cry over him, just a burning pain in my heart.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  I awoke alone the next morning. The sun streamed through the window, catching dust particles floating in the air like flecks of shimmering magic. With the cover of darkness gone, I felt like an intruder in Silas’s personal space. Every inch of this room reminded me of its owner—the books on the table, the weapons displayed on the wall, even the smell of him in the bedsheets.

  I had to get out of there. I couldn’t stay in this house with Silas. My heart couldn’t take it. In the bathroom, I found a neat stack of clothes sitting on the counter. I suspected the finely embroidered tunic and leggings were Aria’s, but it didn’t bother me. Pausing, I considered my feelings about Aria, but I decided there was no reason to be jealous of her. My heart had burned itself out over Silas.

  Ripper sat neatly on top of the folded clothing in the new thigh holster. Silas’s doing, no doubt. I very deliberately didn’t let myself feel anything about that. I changed into the new outfit, twisted my hair into a braid, strapped the knife on my thigh, and tugged the long tunic down to cover it. I lingered in the room alone, dreading seeing Silas. My feelings were raw, but I needed to focus on bringing Titus and Alaric down. I needed to c
hill out, or being around Silas would burn me from the inside out.

  Cold thoughts, Maeve. Cold like ice.

  Resolved, I followed my nose toward the smell of breakfast. It was possible I’d been hit hard enough to get a concussion, but I could swear I smelled bacon. I stopped in the doorway of a large dining room. My attention was immediately drawn to Silas. His back was to me as he talked to a servant holding a silver tray.

  A painful thump of my heart sent my stomach into a tailspin, and I turned away.

  Stephan, Aria, Tessa, and Atticus were gathered at a long table in the center of the room, chatting casually. Empty plates and several servants clearing away dishes suggested they had already enjoyed a big breakfast. Apparently not one to pass up an opportunity to eat, Atticus shoveled food into his mouth from what I had to assume was his second or third helping. The man could eat.

  I frowned in disappointment at the roots and grains on his plate. There was a vast array of food, but no bacon.

  Tessa saw me and jumped up to bury me in a python-sized hug. “Gods curse our eyes; you gave us a scare, Earthen.”

  She released me, and everyone took a turn, doubling the number of hugs I had received in my entire life. Except Silas, of course. He’d disappeared somewhere. I tried to feel relieved about that, but my stomach was still in knots.

  “This is literally everyone I like in this realm,” I said, making them laugh. “What are you all doing here?”

  “They banged on the door until we let them in,” Silas groused behind me.

  His voice made me jump, and the heavy feeling in my stomach doubled down without warning. Stephan caught my gaze, and his brows lifted in a question.

  Damn Empath. I gave a slight shake of my head, and Stephan stayed quiet, although a small frown played across his face. I prayed no one else noticed the tension between Silas and me. I couldn’t deal with explaining my feelings at the moment.