The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 1 of 5)

by Fanny Burney

  CHAPTER XIV

  Lady Aurora being now perfectly well, and the period of her visit atBrighthelmstone nearly expired, Mrs Howel could not dispense withrepeating her dinner-invitation to Mrs Maple; and, three days previouslyto the return of Lady Aurora to her uncle, it was accepted.

  The whole Lewes party felt the most eager curiosity to see Ellis in hernew dwelling; but not trifling was the effort required by Mrs Maple topreserve any self-command, when she witnessed the high style in whichthat young person was treated throughout the house. Harleigh hastened tomake his compliments to her, with an air of pleasure that spokesympathising congratulation. Elinor was all eye, all scrutiny, but allsilence. Ireton assumed, perforce, a tone of respect; and Selina, withsuch an example as Lady Aurora for her support, flew to embrace her_protegee_; and to relate, amongst sundry other little histories, thatMr Harleigh had been going back to town, only Aunt Maple had begged himto stay, till something could be brought about with regard to hisbrother Dennis, who was grown quite affronted at sister Elinor's longdelays.

  Mrs Maple, almost the whole dinner-time, had the mortification to hear,echoing from the sister to the brother, and re-echoed from Mrs Howel,the praises of Miss Ellis; how delightfully the retirement of LadyAurora had passed in her society; the sweetness of her disposition, thevariety of her powers, and her amiable activity in seeking to make themuseful. Not daring to dissent, Mrs Maple, with forced smiles, gave atacit concurrence; while the bright glow that animated the complexion,and every feature, of Harleigh, spoke that unequivocal approbation whichcomes warm from the heart.

  Elinor, whose eyes constantly followed his, seemed sick during the wholerepast, of which she scarcely at all partook. If Ellis offered to serveher, or enquired after her health, she darted at her an eye so piercing,that Ellis, shrinking and alarmed, determined to address her no more;though again, when any opportunity presented itself, for shewing someattention, the resolution was involuntarily set aside; but always withequal ill success, every attempt to soften, exciting looks the mostterrific.

  Lady Aurora surprised one of these glances, and saw its chilling effect.Astonished, at once, and grieved, she felt an impulse to rise, and toprotect from such another shock her new and tenderly admired favourite.She now easily conceived why kindness was so touching to her; yet howany angry sensation could find its way in the breast of Miss Joddrel, orof any human being, against such sweetness and such excellence, hergentle mind, free from every feeling of envy, jealousy, or wrath, couldform no conjecture. She sighed to withdraw her from a house where hermerits were so ill appreciated; and could hardly persuade herself tospeak to any one else at the table, from the eagerness with which shedesired to dispel the gloom produced by Elinor's cloudy brow.

  The looks of Elinor had struck Mrs Howel also; but not with similarcompassion for their object; it was with alarm for herself. A sudden,though vague idea, seized her, to the disadvantage of Ellis. With allher accomplishments, all her elegance, was she, at last, but adependent? Might she be smiled or frowned upon at will? And had sheherself admitted into her house, upon equal terms, a person of such adescription?

  Doubt soon gives birth to suspicion, and suspicion is the mother ofsurmise. It was now strange that she should have been told nothing ofthe family and condition of Miss Ellis; there must be some reason forsilence; and the reason could not be a good one.

  Yet, was it possible that Mrs Maple could have been negligent upon sucha subject? Mrs Maple who, far from being dangerously facile, in formingany connexion, was proud, was even censorious about every person thatshe knew or saw?

  Mrs Howel now examined the behaviour of Mrs Maple herself to Ellis; andthis scrutiny soon shewed her its entire constraint; the distance whichshe observed when not forced to notice her; the unwilling civility,where any attention was indispensable.

  Something must certainly be wrong; and she determined, in the course ofthe evening, to find an opportunity for minutely, nay rigorously,questioning Mrs Maple. Ellis, meanwhile, fearing no one but Elinor, andwatching no one but Lady Aurora, found sufficient occupation in thealternate panic and consolation thus occasioned; or if any chasmoccurred, Lord Melbury with warm assiduities, and Harleigh with delicateattentions, were always at hand to fill it up.

  When, early in the evening, that the horses might rest, the carriage ofMrs Maple arrived, the groom sent in a letter, which, he said, had justbeen brought to Lewes, according to order, by a messenger from theBrighthelmstone post-office. Ellis precipitately arose; but Mrs Mapleheld out her hand to take it; though, upon perceiving the direction,"For L.S., to be left at the post-office at Brighthelmstone till calledfor," fearing that Mrs Howel, who sat next to her, should perceive italso, she hastily said, 'It is not for me; let the man take it backagain;' and, turning the seal upwards, re-delivered it to the servant;anxious to avoid exhibiting an address, which might lead to a discoverythat she now deemed personally ignominious.

  Ellis, at this order, re-seated herself, not daring to make a publicclaim, but resolving to follow the footman out, and to desire to look atthe direction of the letter. Elinor, however, stopping him, took itherself, and, after a slight glance, threw it upon a table, saying,'Leave it for who will to own it.'

  Ellis, changing colour, again arose; and would have seized it forexamination, had not Ireton, who was nearer to the table, taken it up,and read, aloud, "For L.S." Again Ellis dropt upon her chair, distressedand perplexed, between eagerness to receive her letter, and shame andfear at acknowledging so mysterious a direction.

  Her dread of the consequence of disobeying Mrs Maple, had made her,hitherto, defer relating her situation with regard to that lady; and shehad always flattered herself, that the longer it was postponed, thegreater would be her chance of inspiring such an interest as might causean indulgent hearing.

  Harleigh now took the letter himself, and, calmly saying that he wouldsee it safely delivered, put it into his pocket.

  Ellis, thus relieved from making an abrupt and unseasonable avowal, yetsure that her letter was in honourable custody, with difficultyrefrained from thanking him. Lord Melbury and Mrs Howel thought therewas something odd and unintelligible in the business, but forbore anyenquiry; Lady Aurora, observing distress in her amiable Miss Ellis, feltit herself; but revived with her revival; and the rest of the company,though better informed, were compulsatorily silenced by the frowns ofMrs Maple.

  Harleigh then, asking for a pen and some ink to write a letter, left theroom. Ellis, tortured with impatience, and hoping to meet with him, soonfollowed. She was not mistaken: he had seated himself to write in anante-room, which she must necessarily cross if she mounted to herchamber.

  He softly arose, put the letter into her hand, bowed, and returned tohis chair without speaking. She felt his delicacy as strongly as hiskindness, but, breathless with eagerness, observed the silence of whichhe set the example, and, thanking him only by her looks, flew up stairs.

  She was long absent, and, when she descended, it was with steps so slow,and with an air so altered, that Harleigh, who was still writing in theroom through which she had to pass, saw instantly that her letter hadbrought disappointment and sorrow.

  He had not, now, the same self-command as while he had hoped and thoughtthat she was prosperous. He approached her, and, with a face of deepconcern, enquired if there were any thing, of any sort, in which hecould have the happiness to be of use to her? He stopt; but she felt hisright to a curiosity which he did not avow, and immediately answered:

  'My letter brings me no consolation! on the contrary, it tells me that Imust depend wholly upon myself, and expect no kind of aid, nor even anyintelligence again, perhaps for a considerable time!'

  'Is that possible?' cried he, 'Does no one follow--or is no one to meetyou?--Is there no one whose duty it is to guard and protect you? to drawyou from a situation thus precarious, thus unfitting, and to which I amconvinced you are wholly unaccustomed?'

  'It is fatally true, at this moment,' answered Ellis, with a sigh, 'thatno one can fol
low or support me; yet I am not deserted--I am simplyunfortunate. Neither can any one here meet me: the few to whom I haveany right to apply, know not of my arrival--and must not know it!--How Iam to exist till I dare make some claim, I cannot yet devise: but,indeed, had it not been under this kind, protecting roof, that I havereceived such a letter--I think I must have sunk from my owndismay:--but Lady Aurora--' Her voice failed, and she stopt.

  'Lady Aurora,' cried Harleigh, 'is an angel. Her quick appreciation ofyour worth, shews her understanding to be as good as her soul is pure. Ican wish you no better protection.--But pardon me, if I venture again torepeat my surprise--I had almost said my indignation--that those to whomyou belong, can deem it right--safe--or decent, to commit you--young asyou are, full of attractions, and evidently unused to struggle againstthe dangers of the world, and the hardships of life,--to commit you tostrangers--to chance!--'

  'I know not how,' she cried, 'to leave you under so false an impressionof those to whom I belong. They are not to blame. They are more unhappythan I am myself at my loneliness and its mystery: and for my povertyand my difficulties, they are far, far from suspecting them! They areignorant of my loss at Dover, and they cannot suppose that I have missedthe friend whom I came over to join.'

  'Honour me,' cried he, 'with a commission, and I will engage todiscover, at least, whether that friend be yet at Brighthelmstone.'

  'And without naming for whom you seek her?' cried Ellis, her eyesbrightening with sudden hope.

  'Naming?' repeated he, with an arch smile.

  She blushed, deeply, in recollecting herself; but, seized with a suddendread of Elinor, drew back from her inadvertent acceptance; and, thoughwarmly thanking him, declined his services; adding that, by waiting atBrighthelmstone, she must, ultimately, meet her friend, since all herletters and directions were for that spot.

  Harleigh was palpably disappointed; and Ellis, hurt herself, opened herletter, to lessen, she told him, his wonder, perhaps censure, of hersecresy, by reading to him its injunction. This was the sentence: 'Seek,then, unnamed and unknown, during this dread interval of separation, toreside with some worthy and happy family, whose social felicity maybring, at least, reflected happiness to your own breast.'

  'That family,' she added, 'I flatter myself I have found here! for thishouse, from the uniform politeness of Mrs Howel, the ingenuous goodnessof Lord Melbury, and the angelic sweetness of his sister, has been to mean earthly paradise.'

  She then proceeded, without waiting to receive his thanks for thiscommunication; which he seemed hardly to know how to offer, from thefulness of his thoughts, his varying conjectures, his conviction thather friends, like herself, were educated, feeling, and elegant; and hisincreased wonder at the whole of her position. Charming, charmingcreature! he cried, what can have cast thee into this forlorn condition?And by what means--and by whom--art thou to be rescued?

  Not chusing immediately to follow, he seated himself again to his pen.

  Somewhat recovered by this conversation, Ellis, now, was able to commandan air of tolerable composure, for re-entering the drawing-room, whereshe resolved to seek Elinor at once, and endeavour to deprecate herdispleasure, by openly repeating to her all that she had entrusted to MrHarleigh.

  As she approached the door, every voice seemed employed in eager talk;and, as she opened it, she observed earnest separate parties formedround the room; but the moment that she appeared, every one broke offabruptly from what he or she was saying, and a completely dead silenceensued.

  Surprized by so sudden a pause, she seated herself on the first chairthat was vacant, while she looked around her, to see whom she could mostreadily join. Mrs Howel and Mrs Maple had been, evidently, in theclosest discourse, but now both fixed their eyes upon the ground, as ifagreeing, at once, to say no more. Ireton was chatting, with livelyvolubility, to Lord Melbury, who attended to him with an air that seemedscared rather than curious; but neither of them now added another word.Elinor stood sullenly alone, leaning against the chimney-piece, with hereyes fastened upon the door, as if watching for its opening: but not allthe previous resolution of Ellis, could inspire courage sufficient toaddress her, after viewing the increased sternness of her countenance.Selina was prattling busily to Lady Aurora; and Lady Aurora, who satnearly behind her, and whom Ellis perceived the last, was listening insilence, and bathed in tears.

  Terror and affliction seized upon Ellis at this sight. Her first impulsewas to fly to Lady Aurora; but she felt discouraged, and even awed, bythe strangeness of the general taciturnity, occasioned by herappearance. Her eyes next, anxiously, sought those of Lord Melbury, andinstantly met them; but with a look of gravity so unusual, that her ownwere hastily withdrawn, and fixt, disappointed, upon the ground. Nor didhe, as hitherto had been his constant custom, when he saw herdisengaged, come to sit by her side. No one spoke; no one seemed to knowhow to begin a general or common conversation; no one could find a wordto say.

  What, cried she, to herself, can have happened? What can have been saidor done, in this short absence, to make my sight thus petrifying? Havethey told what they know of my circumstances? And has that beensufficient to deprive me of all consideration? to require evenavoidance? And is Lord Melbury thus easily changed? And have I lostyou--even you! Lady Aurora?

  This last thought drew from her so deep a sigh, that, in the generalsilence which prevailed, it reached every ear. Lady Aurora started, andlooked up; and, at the view of her evident dejection, hastily arose, andwas crossing the room to join her; when Mrs Howel, rising too, camebetween them, and taking herself the hand which Lady Aurora had extendedfor that of Ellis, led Her Ladyship to a seat on a sofa, where, in thelowest voice, she apparently addressed to her some remonstrance.

  Ellis, who had risen to meet the evident approach of Lady Aurora, nowstood suspended, and with an air so embarrassed, so perturbed, that LordMelbury, touched by irresistible compassion, came forward, and wouldhave handed her to a chair near the fire; but her heart, after so suddenan appearance of general estrangement, was too full for this mark ofinstinctive, not intentional kindness, and courtsying the thanks whichshe could not utter, she precipitately left the room.

  She met Harleigh preparing to enter it, but passed him with too quick amotion to be stopt, and hurried to her chamber.

  There her disturbance, as potent from positive distress, as it waspoignant from mental disappointment, would nearly have amounted todespair, but for the visibly intended support of Lady Aurora; and forthe view of that kind hand, which, though Mrs Howel had impeded herreceiving, she could not prevent her having seen stretched out for hercomfort. The attention, too, of Lord Melbury, though its tardiness illaccorded with his hitherto warm demonstrations of respect and kindness,shewed that those feelings were not alienated, however they might beshaken.

  These two ideas were all that now sustained her, till, in about an hour,she was followed by Selina, who came to express her concern, and torelate what had passed.

  Ellis then heard, that the moment that she had left the room, Mrs Howel,almost categorically, though with many formal apologies, demanded someinformation of Mrs Maple, what account should be given to Lord Denmeath,of the family and condition in life, of the young lady introduced, byMrs Maple, into the society of Lady Aurora Granville, as Her Ladyshipproposed intimately keeping up the acquaintance. Mrs Maple had appearedto be thunderstruck, and tried every species of equivocation; but MrIreton whispered something to Lord Melbury, upon which a generalcuriosity was raised; and Mr Ireton's laughs kept up the enquiry, 'till,bit by bit,' continued Selina, 'all came out, and you never saw such afuss in your life! But when Mrs Howel found that Aunt Maple did not takeyou in charge from your friends, because she did not know them; and whenMr Ireton told of your patches, and black skin, and ragged dress, MrsHowel stared so at poor aunt, that I believe she thought that she hadbeen out of her senses. And then, poor Lady Aurora fell a-crying,because Mrs Howel said that she must break off the connexion. But LadyAurora said that you might be just as good as ever, a
nd only disguisedto make your escape; but Mrs Howel said, that, now you were got over, ifthere were not something bad, you would speak out. So then poor LadyAurora cried again, and beckoned to me to come and tell her moreparticulars. Sister Elinor, all the time, never spoke one word. And thisis what we were all doing when you came in.'

  Ellis, who, with pale cheeks, but without comment, had listened to thisrecital, now faintly enquired what had passed after she had retired.

  'Why, just then, in came Mr Harleigh, and Aunt Maple gave him a hundredreproaches, for beginning all the mischief, by his obstinacy in bringingyou into the boat, against the will of every creature, except just theold Admiral, who knew nothing of the world, and could judge no better.He looked quite thunderstruck, not knowing a word of what had passed.However, he soon enough saw that all was found out; for Mrs Howel said,'I hope, Sir, you will advise us, how to get rid of this person, withoutletting the servants know the indiscretion we have been drawn into, bytreating her like one of ourselves.'

  'Well? and Mr Harleigh's answer?--' cried the trembling Ellis.

  'Miss Joddrel, Madam, he said, knows as well as myself, all thecircumstances which have softened this mystery, and rendered this younglady interesting in its defiance. She has generously, therefore, heldout her protection; of which the young lady has shown herself to beworthy, upon every occasion, since we have known her, by rectitude anddignity: yet she is, at this time, without friends, support, or asylum:in such a situation, thus young and helpless, and thus irreproachablyconducting herself, who is the female--what is her age, what her rank,that ought not to assist and try to preserve so distressed a youngperson from evil? Lady Aurora, upon this, came forward, and said, "Howhappy you make me, Mr Harleigh, by thus reconciling me to my wishes!"And then she told Mrs Howel that, as the affair no longer appeared to beso desperate, she hoped that there could be no objection to her comingup stairs, to invite you down herself. But Mrs Howel would not consent.'

  'Sweet! sweet Lady Aurora!' broke forth from Ellis; 'And Lord Melbury?what said he?'

  'Nothing; for he and Mr Ireton left the room together, to go on withtheir whispers, I believe. And Elinor was just like a person dumb. ButLady Aurora and Mr Harleigh had a great deal of talk with one another,and they both seemed so pleased, that I could not help thinking, howdroll it would be if their agreeing so about you should make them marryone another.'

  'Then indeed would two beings meet,' said Ellis, 'who would render thatstate all that can be perfect upon earth; for with active benevolencelike his, with purity and sweetness like hers, what could bewanting?--And then, indeed, I might find an asylum!'

  A servant came, now, to inform Selina that the carriage was at the door,and that Mrs Maple was in haste.

  What a change did this day produce for Ellis! What a blight to herhopes, what difficulties for her conduct, what agitation for herspirits!