by Fanny Burney
CHAPTER XVIII
Comforted, at least, for Elinor, whose situation in being known, seemedto lose its greatest danger, Ellis, with less oppression upon herspirits, returned to the dressing-room.
Elinor was writing, and too intently occupied to heed the opening of thedoor. The motion of her hand was so rapid, that her pen seemed rather toskim over, than to touch her paper. Ellis gently approached her; but,finding that she did not raise her head, ventured not even to announcethat her orders had been executed.
At length, her paper being filled, she looked up, and said, 'Well! is hethere?'
'I have delivered to him, Madam, your commands.'
'Then,' cried she, rising with an exulting air, 'the moment of mytriumph is come! Yes, Harleigh! if meanly I have offered you my person,nobly, at least, I will consecrate to you my soul!'
Hastily rolling up what she had been writing, and putting it into adesk, 'Ellis!' she added, 'Mark me well! should any accident betide me,here will be found the last and unalterable codicil to my will. It issigned, but not witnessed: it is not, however, of a nature to bedisputed; it is to desire only that Harleigh will take care that mybones shall be buried in the same charnel-house, in which he orders theinterment of his own. All that remains, finally, of either of us, there,at least, may meet!'
Ellis turned cold with horrour. Her first idea was to send for MrsMaple; yet that lady was so completely without influence, that anyinterference on her part, might rather stimulate than impede what it wasmeant to oppose. It seemed, therefore, safest to trust wholly toHarleigh.
The eyes of Elinor were wild and fierce, her complexion was livid, hercountenance was become haggard; and, while she talked of triumph, andfancied it was what she felt, every feature exhibited the most torturedmarks of impetuous sorrow, and ungoverned disappointment.
She took from her bureau the shagreen case which she had so fondlycaressed, and which Ellis concluded to contain some portrait, orcherished keep-sake of Harleigh; and hurried down stairs. Ellisfearfully followed her. No one happened to be in the way, and she wasalready in the garden, when, turning suddenly round, and perceivingEllis, 'Oh ho!' she cried, 'you come unbidden? you are right; I shallwant you.'
She then precipitately entered the summer-house, in which Harleigh wasawaiting her in the keenest anxiety.
His disturbance was augmented upon observing her extreme paleness,though she tried to meet him with a smile. She shut and bolted the door,and seated herself before she spoke.
Assuming then a mien of austerity, though her voice betrayed internaltremour, 'Harleigh!' she cried, 'be not alarmed. I have received youranswer!--fear not that I shall ever expect--or would, now, even listento another! 'Tis to vindicate, not to lower my character that I am here.I have given you, I am aware, a great surprise by what you conceive tobe my weakness; prepare yourself for a yet greater, from an oppositecause. I come to explain to you the principles by which I am actuated,clearly and roundly; without false modesty, insipid affectation, orartful ambiguity. You will then know from what plan of reasoning I adoptmy measures; which as yet, believing to be urged only by my feelings,you attribute, perhaps,--like that poor scared Ellis, to insanity.'
Ellis forced a smile, and, seating herself at some distance, tried towear the appearance of losing her apprehensions; while Harleigh, drawinga chair near Elinor, assured her that his whole mind was engaged inattention to what she might disclose.
Her voice now became more steady, and she proceeded.
'You think me, I know, tarnished by those very revolutionary ideasthrough which, in my own estimation, I am ennobled. I owe to them that Idare hold myself intellectually, as well as personally, an equal memberof the community; not a poor, degraded, however necessary appendent toit: I owe to them my enfranchisement from the mental slavery ofsubscribing to unexamined opinions, and being governed by prejudicesthat I despise: I owe to them the precious privilege, so shamefully newto mankind, of daring to think for myself. But for them--should I not,at this moment, be pining away my lingering existence, in silentconsumption? They have rescued me from that slow poison!'
'In what manner,' said Harleigh, 'can I presume--'
She interrupted him. 'Imagine not I am come to reproach you! or, stillless, to soften you!' She stopt, confused, rose, and again seatedherself, before she could go on. 'No! littleness of that descriptionbelongs not to such energies as those which you have awakened! I comebut, I repeat, to defend myself, from any injurious suspicion, of havinglightly given way to a mere impulse of passion. I come to bring youconviction that reason has guided my conduct; and I come to solicit aboon from you,--a last boon, before we separate for ever!'
'I am charmed if you have anything to ask of me,' said Harleigh, 'thatmy zeal, my friendship, my attachment, may find some vent; but why speakof so solemn a separation?'
'You will grant, then, what I mean to request?'
'What can it be I could refuse?'
'Enough! You will soon know. Now to my justification. Hear me,Harleigh!'
She arose, and, clasping her hands, with strong, yet tender, emotion,exclaimed. 'That I should love you--' She stopt. Shame crimsoned herskin. She covered her face with both her hands, and sunk again upon herchair.
Harleigh was strongly and painfully affected. 'O Elinor!' he cried, andwas going to take her hand; but the fear of misinterpretation made himdraw back; and Elinor, almost instantly recovering, raised her head, andsaid, 'How tenacious a tyrant is custom! how it clings to our practice!how it embarrasses our conduct! how it awes our very nature itself, andbewilders and confounds even our free will! We are slaves to its lawsand its follies, till we forget its usurpation. Who should have told me,only five minutes ago, that, at an instant such as this; an instant ofliberation from all shackles, of defiance to all forms; its antiqueprescriptions should still retain their power to confuse and torment me?Who should have told me, that, at an instant such as this, I shouldblush to pronounce the attachment in which I ought to glory? and hardlyknow how to articulate.... That I should love you, Harleigh, cansurprise no one but yourself!'
Her cheeks were now in flames; and those of Harleigh were tinted withnearly as high a colour. Ellis fixed her eyes stedfastly upon the floor.
Shocked, in despite of her sunk expectations, that words such as thesecould be heard by Harleigh in silence, she resumed again the haughty airwith which she had begun the conference.
'I ought not to detain you so long, for a defence so unimportant. What,to you, can it matter, that my valueless preference should beacknowledged from the spur of passion, or the dictates of reason?--Andyet, to the receiver, as well as to the offerer, a sacrifice bringshonour or disgrace, according to its motives. Listen, therefore, forboth our sakes, to mine: though they may lead you to a subject which youhave long since, in common with every man that breathes, wishedexploded, the Rights of woman: Rights, however, which all your sex, withall its arbitrary assumption of superiority, can never disprove, forthey are the Rights of human nature; to which the two sexes equally andunalienably belong. But I must leave to abler casuists, and the slow,all-arranging ascendence of truth, to raise our oppressed half of thehuman species, to the equality and dignity for which equal Nature, thatgives us Birth and Death alike, designs us. I must spend my remainingmoments in egotism; for all that I have time to attempt is my personalvindication. Harleigh! from the first instant that I saw you--heardyou--knew you--'
She breathed hard, and spoke with difficulty; but forced herself on.
'From that first instant, Harleigh! I have lived but to cherish youridea!'
Her features now regained their highest expression of vivacity; and,rising, and looking at him with a sort of wild rapture, 'Oh Harleigh!'she continued, 'have I attained, at last, this exquisite moment? Whatdoes it not pay of excruciating suspense, of hateful, laboriousforebearance and unnatural self-denial? Harleigh! dearest Harleigh! youare master of my soul! you are sovereign of my esteem, my admiration, myevery feeling of tenderness, and every idea of perfection!--Accep
t,then, the warm homage of a glowing heart, that beats but for you; andthat, beating in vain, will beat no more!'
The crimson hue now mounted to her forehead, and reddened her neck: hereyes became lustrous; and she was preparing, with an air of extacy, toopen the shagreen case, which she had held folded to her bosom, whenHarleigh, seizing her hand, dropt on one knee, and, hardly conscious ofwhat he did, or what he felt, from the terrible impression made by aspeech so full of love, despair, and menace, exclaimed, 'Elinor! youcrown me, then, with honours, but to kill me with torture?'
With a look of softness new to her features, new to her character, andemanating from sensations of delight new to her hopes, Elinor sunkgently upon her chair, yet left him full possession of her hand; and,for some instants, seemed silent from a luxury of inward enjoyment. 'Isit Harleigh,' she then cried, 'Albert Harleigh, I see at my feet? Ah!what is the period, since I have known him, in which I would notjoyfully have resigned all the rest of my life, for a sight, a momentsuch as this! Dear, dear, delicious poison! thrill, thrill through myveins! throb at my heart! new string every fibre of my frame! Is it,then, granted me, at last, to see thee thus? and thus dare speak tothee? to give sound to my feelings; to allow utterance of my love? todare suffer my own breath to emit the purest flame that ever warmed avirgin heart?--Ah! Harleigh! proud Harleigh!--'
Harleigh, embarrassed had risen, though without quitting her hand, andre-seated himself.
'Proud, proud Harleigh!' she continued, angrily snatching away her hand;'you think even this little moment of sympathy, too long for love andElinor! you fear, perhaps, that she should expect its duration, orrepetition? Know me, Harleigh, better! I come not to sue for yourcompassion,--I would not accept it!--Elinor may fail to excite yourregard, but she will never make you blush that you have excited hers. Mychoice itself speaks the purity of my passion, for are not Harleigh andHonour one?'
She paused to recover some composure, and then went on.
'You have attached neither a weak, giddy, unguarded fool, nor an idlywilful or romantic voluptuary. My defence is grated upon your characteras much as upon my own. I could divide it into many branches; but I willcontent myself with only striking at its root, namely, the Right ofwoman, if endowed with senses, to make use of them. O Harleigh! why haveI seen you wiser and better than all your race; sounder in yourjudgment, more elegant in your manners, more spirited in yourconduct;--lively though benevolent,--gentle, though brilliant,--OhAlbert! Albert! if I must listen to you with the same dull ears, look atyou with the same unmarking eyes, and think of you with the sameunmeaning coldness, with which I hear, see, and consider thetime-wearing, spirit-consuming, soul-wasting tribe, that daily pressupon my sight, and offend my understanding? Can you ask, can you expect,can you wish to doom half your species to so degraded a state? to lookdown upon the wife, who is meant for the companion of your existence;and upon the mother, of whose nature you must so largely partake; asupon mere sleepy, slavish, uninteresting automatons? Say! speak! answer,Harleigh! can such be your lordly, yet most unmanly desire?'
'And is it seriously that Elinor would have me reply to such aquestion?'
'No, Harleigh! your noble, liberal nature answers it in every word, inevery look! You accord, then,--you conceive, at least, all thatconstitutes my defence, in allowing me the use of my faculties; for howbetter can I employ them than in doing honour to excellence? Why, for somany centuries, has man, alone, been supposed to possess, not only forceand power for action and defence, but even all the rights of taste; allthe fine sensibilities which impel our happiest sympathies, in thechoice of our life's partners? Why, not alone, is woman to be excludedfrom the exertions of courage, the field of glory, the immortal death ofhonour,--not alone to be denied deliberating upon the safety of thestate of which she is a member, and the utility of the laws by which shemust be governed:--must even her heart be circumscribed by boundaries asnarrow as her sphere of action in life? Must she be taught to subdue allits native emotions? To hide them as sin, and to deny them as shame?Must her affections be bestowed but as the recompence of flatteryreceived; not of merit discriminated? Must every thing that she does beprescribed by rule? Must everything that she says, be limited to whathas been said before? Must nothing that is spontaneous, generous,intuitive, spring from her soul to her lips?--And do you, even you,Harleigh, despise unbidden love!'
'No, Elinor, no!--if I durst tell you what I think of it--'
He stopt, embarrassed.
'I understand you, Harleigh; you know not how to find expressions thatmay not wound me? Well! let me not pain you. Let us hasten to conclude.I have spoken all that I am now capable to utter of my defence; nothingmore remains but the boon I have to beg. Harleigh!--if there be aquestion you can resolve me, that may mitigate the horrour of mydestiny, without diminishing its glory--for glory and horrour go hand inhand! would you refuse me--when I solicit it as a boon?--would yourefuse, Harleigh, to satisfy me, even though my demand should beperplexing? could you, Harleigh, refuse me?--And at such a moment asthis?'
'No, certainly not!'
'Tell me, then, and fear not to be sincere. Is it to some otherattachment--' a sort of shivering fit stopt her for a moment, but sherecovered from it by a pride that seemed to burn through every vein, asshe added, 'or is it to innate repugnance that I owe your dislike?'
'Dislike? repugnance?' Harleigh repeated, with quickness, 'can Elinorbe, at once, so generous and so unjust? Can she delineate her ownfeelings with so touching and so glowing a pencil, yet so ill describe,or so wilfully fail in comprehending mine?'
'Dare, then, to be ingenuous, and save me, Harleigh,--if with truth youcan, the depression, the shame, of being rejected from impenetrableapathy! I ought, I know, to be above such narrow punctilio, and to allowthe independence of your liberty; but I did not fall into the refininghands of philosophy, early enough to eradicate wholly from my mind, alldregs of the clinging first impressions of habit and education. Say,then, Harleigh, if it be in your power so to say, that it is not a freeheart which thus coldly disdains me; that it is not a disengaged mindwhich refuses me its sympathy! that it is not to personal aversion, butto some previous regard, that I owe your insensibility! To me the eventwill be the same, but the failure will be less ignoble.'
'How difficult, O Elinor!--how next to impossible such a statement makesevery species of answer!'
'At a period, Harleigh, awful and finite to our intercourse like this,fall not into what I have hitherto, with so much reverence, seen you,upon all occasions, superiour to, subterfuge and evasion! Be yourself,Harleigh!--what can you be more noble? and plainly, simply let me intothe cause, since you cannot conceal from me the effect. Speak, then! Isit but in the sullen majesty of masculine superiority,
'Lord of yourself, uncumber'd by a wife,'[8]
that you fly all marriage-bonds, with insulated, haughty singleness? oris it that, deceived by my apparent engagement, your heart never askeditself the worth of mine, till already all its own pulsations beat foranother object?'
[Footnote 8: Dryden.]
Harleigh tried to smile, tried to rally, tried to divert the question;all in vain; Elinor became but more urgent, and more disordered. 'OHarleigh!' she cried, 'is it too much to ask this one mark of yourconfidence, for a creature who has cast her whole destiny at your feet?Speak!--if you would not devote me to distraction! Speak!--if you wouldnot consign me to immediate delirium!'
'And what,' cried he, trembling at her vehemence, 'would you have mesay?'
'That it is not Elinor whom you despise--but another whom you love.'
'Elinor! are you mad?'
'No, Harleigh, no!--but I am wild with anguish to dive into the fulldepth of my disgrace; to learn whether it were inevitable, from the verynature of things,--from personal antipathy,--gloss it over as you willwith esteem, regard, and professions;--or whether you had found thatyou, also, had a soul, before mine was laid open to you. No evasion--nodelay!' continued she, with augmenting impetuosity; 'you have promisedto grant my boon,
--speak, Harleigh, speak!--was it my direful fate, oryour insuperable antipathy?'
'It was surely not antipathy!' cried he, in a tone the most soothing;yet with a look affrighted, and unconscious, till he had spoken, of theinference to which his words might be liable.
'I thank you!' cried she, fervently, 'Harleigh, I thank you! This, atleast, is noble; this is treating me with distinction, this is honouringme with trust. It abates the irritating tinglings of mortified pride; itpersuades me I am the victim of misfortune, not of contempt.'
Suddenly, then, turning to Ellis, whose eyes, during the whole scene,had seemed rivetted to the floor, she expressively added, 'I ask not theobject!'
Harleigh breathed hard, yet kept his face in an opposite direction, andendeavoured to look as if he did not understand her meaning. Elliscommanded her features to remain unmoved; but her complexion was notunder the same controul: frequent blushes crossed her cheeks, which,though they died away almost as soon as they were born, vanished only tore-appear; evincing all the consciousness that she struggled tosuppress.
A pause ensued, to Harleigh unspeakably painful, and to Ellisindescribably distressing; during which Elinor fell into a profoundreverie, from which, after a few minutes, wildly starting, 'Harleigh,'she cried, 'is your wedding-day fixed?'
'My wedding-day?' he repeated, with a forced smile, 'Must not my weddingitself be fixed first?'
'And it is not fixed?--Does it depend upon Ellis?'
He looked palpably disconcerted; while Ellis, hastily raising her head,exclaimed, 'Upon me, Madam? no, indeed! I am completely and every wayout of the question.'
'Of you,' said Elinor, with severity, 'I mean not to make any enquiry!You are an adept in the occult sciences; and such I venture not toencounter. But you, Harleigh, will you, also, practise disguise? andfall so in love with mystery, as to lose your nobler nature, in a blind,infatuated admiration of the marvellous and obscure?'
Ellis resentfully reddened; but her cheeks were pale to those ofHarleigh. Neither of them, however, spoke; and Elinor continued.
'I cannot, Harleigh, be deceived, and I will not be trifled with. Whenyou came over to fetch me from France; when the fatal name of sistergave me a right to interrogate you, I frankly asked the state of yourheart, and you unhesitatingly told me that it was wholly free. Sincethat period, whom have you seen, whom noticed, except Ellis! Ellis!Ellis! From the first moment that you have beheld her, she has seemedthe mistress of your destiny, the arbitress of your will. My boon, then,Harleigh, my boon! without a moment's further delay! Appease the ragingferment in my veins; clear away every surmize; and generously, honestlysay 'tis Ellis!--or it is another, and not Ellis, I prefer to you!'
'Elinor! Elinor!' cried Harleigh, in a universal tremour, 'it is I thatyou will make mad!' while Ellis, not daring to draw upon herself, again,the rebuke which might follow a single declaiming word, rose, andturning from them both, stood facing the window.
'It is surely then Ellis! what you will not, Harleigh, avow, isprecisely what you proclaim--it is surely Ellis!'
Ellis opened the window, and leant out her head; Harleigh, clapping hishand upon his crimsoned forehead, walked with hasty steps round thelittle apartment.
Losing now all self-command, and wringing her hands, in a transport ofungovernable anguish, 'Oh, Harleigh! Harleigh!' Elinor cried, 'to what achimera you have given your heart! to an existence unintelligible, acharacter unfathomable, a creature of imagination, though visible! O,can you believe she will ever love you as Elinor loves? with the warmth,with the truth, with the tenderness, with the choice? can she showherself as disinterested? can she prove herself as devoted?--'
'She aims, Madam, at no rivalry!' said Ellis, gravely, and returning toher seat: while Harleigh, tortured between resentment and pity, stoodstill; without venturing to look up or reply.
'Rivalry?' repeated Elinor, with high disdain: 'No! upon what species ofcompetition could rivalry be formed, between Elinor, and a compound ofcold caution, and selfish prudence? Oh, Harleigh! how is it you thus canlove all you were wont to scorn? double dealing, false appearances, andlurking disguise! without a family she dare claim, without a story shedare tell, without a name she dare avow!'
A deep sigh, which now burst from Ellis, terminated the conflict betweenindignation and compassion in Harleigh, who raised his eyes to meetthose of Elinor, with an expression of undisguised displeasure.
'You are angry?' she cried, clasping her hands, with forced and terriblejoy; 'you are angry, and I am thankful for the lesson. I meant not tohave lingered thus; my design was to have been abrupt and noble.'
Looking at him, then, with uncontrolled emotion, 'If ever man deservedthe sacrifice of a pure heart,' she continued, ''tis you, Harleigh, you!and mine, from the period it first became conscious of its devotion toyou, has felt that it could not survive the certitude of your union withanother. All else, of slight, of failure, of inadequate pretensions,might be borne; for where neither party is happy, misery is notaggravated by contrast, nor mortification by comparison. But to becomethe object of insolent pity to the happy!--to make a part of a rival'sblessings, by being offered up at the shrine of her superiority--No,Harleigh, no! such abasement is not for Elinor. And what is the charm ofthis wretched machine of clay, that can pay for sustaining its burthenunder similar disgrace? Let those who prize support it. For me,--myglass is run,--my cup is full,--I die!'
'Die?' repeated Ellis, with a faint scream, while Harleigh lookedpetrified with horrour.
'Die, yes!' answered Elinor, with a smile triumphant though ghastly; 'orsleep! call it which you will! so animation be over, so feeling be past,so my soul no longer linger under the leaden oppression ofdisappointment; under sickness of all mortal existence; under incurable,universal disgust:--call it what you please, sleep, rest, or death;termination is all I seek.'
'And is there, Elinor, no other name for what follows our earthlydissolution?' cried Harleigh, with a shuddering frown. 'What say you ifwe call it immortality?'
'Will you preach to me?' cried she, her eyes darting fire; 'will you bidme look forward to yet another life, when this, short as it is deemed, Ifind insupportable? Ah, Harleigh! Harleigh!' her eyes suffusing withsudden tenderness; 'were I your's--I might wish indeed to be immortal!'
Harleigh was extremely affected: he approached her, took her hand, andsoothingly said, 'My dear Elinor, compose your spirits, exert yourstrength of mind, and suffer us to discuss these subjects at somelength.'
'No, Harleigh; I must not trust myself to your fascinations! How do Iknow but they might bewitch me out of my reason, and entangle me, again,in those antique superstitions which make misery so cowardly? No,Harleigh! the star of Ellis has prevailed, and I sink beneath itsinfluence. Else, only sometimes to see you, to hear of you, to watchyou, and to think of you always, I would still live, nay, feel joy inlife; for still my imagination would gift you, ultimately, withsensibility to my regard. But I anticipate the union which I see to beinevitable, and I spare my senses the shock which I feel would demolishthem.--Harleigh!--dearest Harleigh, Adieu!'
A paleness like that of death overspread her face.
'What is it,' cried Harleigh, inexpressibly alarmed, 'what is it Elinormeans?'
'To re-conquer, by the courage of my death, the esteem I may leaveforfeited by my jealousy, my envy, my littleness in life! You only couldhave corrected my errours; you, by your ascendance over my feelings,might have refined them into virtues. Oh, Harleigh! weigh not alone myimperfections when you recollect my attachment! but remember that I haveloved you so as woman never loved!'
Her voice now faultered, and she shook so violently that she couldnot support herself. She put her hand gently upon the arm of Harleigh,and, gliding nearly behind him, leant upon his shoulder. He would havespoken words of comfort, but she seemed incapable of hearing him.'Farewell!' she cried, 'Harleigh! Never will I live to see Ellisyour's!--Farewell!--a long farewell!'
Precipitately she then opened the shagreen case, and was drawing out itsco
ntents, when Ellis, darting forward, caught her arm, and screamed,rather than articulated, 'Ellis will never be his!--Forbear!Forbear!--Ellis never will be his!'
The astonished Harleigh, who, hitherto, had rigorously avoided meetingthe eyes of Ellis, now turned towards her, with an expression in whichall that was not surprise was resentment; while Elinor, seeming suddenlysuspended, faintly pronounced, 'Ellis--deluding Ellis!--what is it yousay?'
'I am no deluder!' cried Ellis, yet more eagerly: 'Rely, rely upon myplighted honour!'
Harleigh now looked utterly confounded; but Ellis only saw, and seemedonly to breathe for Elinor, who recovering, as if by miracle, hercomplexion, her voice, and the brightness of her eyes, rapturouslyexclaimed, 'Oh Harleigh!--Is there, then, sympathy in our fate? Do you,too, love in vain?'--And, from a change of emotion, too sudden and toomighty for the shattered state of her nerves, she sunk senseless uponthe floor.
The motive to the strange protestations of Ellis was now apparent: aponiard dropt from the hand of Elinor as she fell, of which, while shespoke her farewell, Ellis had caught a glance.
Harleigh seemed himself to require the aid that he was called upon tobestow. He looked at Elinor with a mixture of compassion and horrour,and, taking possession of the poniard, 'Unhappy Elinor!' he cried, 'intowhat a chaos of errour and of crime have these fatal new systemsbewildered thee!'
The revival of Elinor was almost immediate; and though, at first, sheseemed to have lost the remembrance of what had happened, the sight ofEllis and Harleigh soon brought it back. She looked from one to theother, as if searching her destiny; and then, with quick impatience,though somewhat checked by shame, cried, 'Ellis! have you not mockedme?'
Ellis, covered with blushes and confusion, addressing herself toHarleigh, said, 'Pardon, Mr Harleigh, my seeming presumption, where nooption has been offered me; and where such an option is as wide from myexpectations as it would be from my desert. This terrible crisis must bemy apology.'
A shivering like that of an ague-fit again shook the agitated Elinor,who, ejaculating, 'What farce is this?--Fool! fool! shall I thussleepily be duped?' looked keenly around for her lost weapon.
'Duped? no, Madam,' cried Ellis, in a tone impressive of veracity: 'if Ihad the honour to be better known to Miss Joddrel, one assertion, Iflatter myself, would suffice: my word is given; it has never yet beenbroken!'
While this declaration, though softened by a sigh the most melancholy,struck cold to the heart of Harleigh, its effect upon Elinor was that ofan extacy which seemed the offspring of frenzy. 'Do I awake, then,' shecried, 'from agony and death--agony, impossible to support! death,willing and welcome! to renewed life? to an interesting, howeverdeplorable, existence? is my fate in harmony with the fate of Harleigh?Has he, even he! given his soul,--his noble soul!--to one who esteemsand admires him, yet who will not be his? Can Harleigh love in vain?'
Tears now rolled fast and unchecked down her cheeks, while, in tones ofenthusiasm, she continued, 'I hail thee once again, oh life! with allthy arrows! Welcome, welcome, every evil that associates my catastrophewith that of Harleigh!--Yet I blush, methinks, to live!--Blush, and feellittle,--nearly in the same proportion that I should have gloried todie!'
With these words, and recoiling from a solemn, yet tender exhortation,begun by Harleigh, she abruptly quitted the little building; and, hermind not more highly wrought by self-exaltation, than her body wasweakened by successive emotions, she was compelled to accept thefearfully offered assistance of Ellis, to regain, with tottering steps,the house.