by E. L. Todd
That was the most improvement I’d seen so far, so I would gladly take it. “Alright…thanks.”
I’d just gotten home from work when my phone vibrated. Where are you? Finn’s demanding tone was audible through the text.
At home.
And why are you over there?
I enjoyed Finn’s house because it was so spacious and comfortable. With vaulted ceilings, trees outside the windows, and elegant furniture, it didn’t feel like a place where he lived. It felt like a home. Plus, he had a really cute dog. Because I live here. I pretended to have an attitude, but in reality, I loved it when he asked me to come over. And I loved the way he asked…without actually asking.
Get your ass over here.
Bossy, aren’t we?
NOW.
Ooh…busting out the caps.
He stopped typing. His silence was somehow more formidable.
I pulled on a jacket and grabbed my purse, a smile stretching my lips far and wide.
He messaged me again before I walked out the door. Bring lingerie.
I almost made a smartass comment back, but I let it slide. I was happy to have a man who wanted me to wear lingerie all the time, who found me so sexy that he ripped off my clothes the second I walked in the door.
His large hands gripped my cheeks as he lowered me down onto his length. At over six feet with arms so strong he could hold me without difficulty, he fucked me in the middle of his bedroom, standing tall and proud like I weighed nothing.
My arms wrapped around his neck, and I felt my pussy slide down to his base then back up again. I didn’t know what I enjoyed the most. The enormous cock that was hitting me deep and hard, the muscular physique that had no problem lifting me up and down for fifteen minutes, or the sexy look on his face as he stared at me.
All of those things together kept making me come—over and over. “Finn…” This was better than any fantasy I’d ever had. It was definitely better than any reality I’d had either. If he fucked all women like this, it was no surprise he got free drinks everywhere he went. The man was a walking vibrator—but better.
“You like this a lot, don’t you?”
I bit my bottom lip as I felt his cock thicken inside me.
He slowed down his movements so he could kiss me on the mouth and steal my breath away. His long fingers dug deep into my ass as he held me on his length. “Tell me.”
My hand cupped the back of his neck. “Yes.” I looked into his blue eyes and fell deeper than ever before, forgetting about all the complicated issues surrounding this relationship. This was what I was fighting for, to have a deep and passionate romance with this special man.
He lifted me up and down a few more times before he released, wearing the sexiest expression as he dumped inside me. He groaned in fulfillment, flooding me for the second time that night.
I could fuck this man all night long and never go dry. He was the sexiest man in the world, hands down. If I could picture the perfect man, he would be identical to Finn.
He carried me to the bed then laid me down before he got off me.
The second he was gone, I felt the come drip between my thighs and pool at my entrance. I was in black lingerie with stockings, and my panties were somewhere on the bedroom floor.
“I’m gonna take a shower. You want to start dinner?”
“Sure. I can order a pizza.”
He smiled slightly, the affection reaching his eyes. “I’ll make something when I’m done. But you’re going to have to learn sometime.”
“Why would I when I have you?”
He leaned down and kissed me on the mouth before he stepped into the shower.
I stripped off my lingerie and pulled on one of his t-shirts before I went downstairs, Soldier in tow. “I got you something on my lunch break today.”
His ears perked up, almost like he understood exactly what I was saying.
I opened my purse and pulled out the toy I’d picked up at the store. I ripped off the packaging and tossed it to him.
He immediately snatched it from the ground with his big teeth and started to play with it, jerking his neck back and forth and then digging his teeth deeper into the material.
“You like it?”
He growled as he jerked the toy around again.
“Good.” I opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. I had to use a towel to twist off the cap before I could take a drink. When I took a seat on the couch and turned on the TV, Soldier jumped up on the couch beside me, bringing his toy along.
Finn came downstairs moments later, his sweats low on his waist. He eyed both of us on the couch and focused on the red toy in Soldier’s grip. “Where did that come from?”
“I bought it for him.” I grabbed one end and gently played tug-of-war with him.
He growled louder and sank his sharp teeth deep into the material.
Finn shook his head. “Spoiled.”
“Spoiled?” I asked incredulously. “This is the only toy he has other than those tennis balls in the backyard.”
“Because he’s a dog, not a puppy.” Finn went into the kitchen and started dinner.
“What are you making?”
“Tacos.”
“Ooh…I’m down with that.” I pulled the blanket over my legs and watched TV as I listened to Finn work in the kitchen. The smells grew more potent, and soon my mouth was salivating. “That smells good.”
Soldier kept chewing on his toy.
When Finn was finished, he set up the table. “Come eat.”
“Yay.” I took a seat at the table, and Soldier lay on the ground at my feet, the toy still in his mouth.
Finn laid off the scotch and had a beer instead. He ate across from me, the muscles of his body moving every time he lifted the taco toward his mouth.
Eating with him reminded me of my married life, how nice these simple rituals were. Finn and I didn’t talk as much as Colton and I had, but conversation didn’t feel necessary. We were just comfortable with each other.
His phone was on the table and lit up with a text message. His notifications were set to private, so the name of the person was on the screen but not the message. And the name on the screen was Layla.
Ugh, I hated that bitch.
I kept eating like I hadn’t noticed, but her name made my stomach do a slight somersault. There was nothing to worry about because Finn was an honest guy who wouldn’t cheat on me, regardless of how much she wanted him, but knowing he might have already slept with her made me fiercely jealous. And insecure.
Finn must have noticed the change in the air around us because he addressed it. “What is it?”
“Nothing. These tacos are perfect. I’ve always been a fan of hard shells.”
He stopped eating and just stared at me. “Baby.”
“What?” I asked, doing my best to feign innocence.
His eyes narrowed.
“I just… I don’t like Layla.” That was the truth, and I decided to drop it like a bomb. Maybe it was catty and petty, but any other woman would despise someone who wanted to sleep with her man. Maybe they already had slept together, and she was trying to make it happen again. Her beauty, ink, and intellect didn’t make me feel better. I owned a store that barely broke even. I wasn’t some badass woman who saved lives for a living.
He grabbed his phone and swiped across the screen so the message thread was open. Then he pushed it across the table so I could see. “I’m a transparent guy. Read anything you want.”
I didn’t look. “That’s not what I want. I don’t want a relationship where there’s any need to check each other’s phones.”
He left it there. “I didn’t sleep with her.”
My body tightened before it gave a big release. The relief made every muscle in my body relax, made everything feel better. “You didn’t?”
He shook his head. “I thought Colton already told you that. I guess he didn’t.”
“No…he didn’t mention it.”
“That night at th
e bar, she’d drunk too much. Asked me to take her home.”
So I’d been sobbing my eyes out for nothing.
“She tried to make something more happen when I dropped her off, but that didn’t go anywhere.”
I hated the idea of her trying to drag him into her apartment, but at least he was honest about what happened. “Do you see her a lot at work?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes our shifts overlap.”
“She’s pretty.”
“Yeah, she is,” he said without hesitation. “But I’ve seen better.” He held my gaze for a long time, not blinking as he shared his affection with me through just his eyes.
I would always be threatened by that woman, but at least I was a little less paranoid now. “Is that why you didn’t sleep with Stella when she made a move on you?”
“Yes.” He still had a taco on his plate, but he didn’t reach for it. “I didn’t think anything would ever happen between us, but I knew if something went down with Stella, then nothing ever could happen with us. So I steered clear.”
That was sweet. “I’m sorry I told Colton the truth… I saw you leave with Layla, and I was hysterical. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and everything just came pouring out. I threw you under the bus, and I feel so terrible about it.”
“Don’t.”
“But it’s my fault that you and Colton are like this.”
“No. We’re like this because of my decisions. It doesn’t matter who told him or how it happened. It was the truth, and he was going to find out anyway. It’s not your fault, baby. Don’t feel bad.”
Even when he soothed my feelings, I still felt guilty. “Things will work out between you. It’ll take some time, but it’ll happen.”
“I don’t know.” He sighed then looked down at his food. “Colton is pretty upset. Every time I try to talk to him about it, he’s just as angry. I can’t say I blame him. I understand where he’s coming from. There’s nothing I can really say to justify it.”
“I told him we tried to fight it, but it just happened.”
“I don’t think that matters to him.”
“I know Colton is mad, but I also know he has a big heart. Once the sting wears off, he’ll come around.”
“I don’t know…he’s pretty stubborn.”
Everyone told me I should hate Colton for what he did to me, but my anger couldn’t overpower the love. “I forgave Colton for what he did to me. He really hurt me—more than I can explain. But I knew he would never hurt me on purpose. It just happened that way. And I forgave him. So I know he’ll forgive you…when he’s ready to.”
“That sounds nice in theory, but the two instances aren’t the same. You don’t sleep with your brother’s ex.”
“No, the situations can’t be compared. But you aren’t a bad guy, Finn. I think Colton is taking it too personally, as if your attraction to me means you like him less. That if your love for him were greater, you wouldn’t have crossed the line.”
He looked out the back window behind me, his eyes filled with endless thoughts.
“I think that’s why it bothers him so much.”
“Yeah, I think so too.”
“He was really excited to reconnect with you when you first moved in. He reminded me of a child, actually.”
He bowed his head slightly.
“He looks up to you.”
“No. He looked up to me. Now…he can’t stand me.”
“The fact that he was so fond of you gives you a strong chance to recover.”
“Maybe…but I doubt it.”
“I told him what you did to his old boss.”
He looked up. “What did he say?”
“Nothing. But he seemed touched by it.”
He picked up his fork and dragged it through the black beans on his plate.
“I asked him to try to keep an open mind, if not for you, then for me. He said he would…” Even though Colton’s response had been barely audible. His heart definitely wasn’t in it either, despite his call earlier agreeing to eat with Finn. “We’re going to dinner with them tomorrow night.”
“He knows I’ll be there?” Finn asked incredulously. “And he still agreed?”
“Yes. I told him he can’t make me choose between the two of you. It’s not fair to me.”
He nodded slowly. “So, you forced him.”
“We won’t make any progress unless I force him. He’s too stubborn.”
“In this instance, I don’t think he’s being stubborn. He just wants nothing to do with me.”
I chose to believe they would find a way back to each other. It might not happen overnight, but it would happen eventually. It would take a lot of work and a lot of forgiveness. But I’d seen greater miracles happen. “Do you regret all of this?”
He looked up at me again, a slight look of confusion in his eyes. “Regret?”
“Yes, because of everything that’s happened with Colton.”
He stared me down, his fork still in his grasp. “No. I wish things had unfolded better, but I don’t regret it. You?”
I hated being the cause of their turmoil, but Finn made me happier than I’d ever been. It was painful to think about a reality in which I never experienced this, if I’d ended up with someone else with a mild and tame passion. “No. But I wish things were different…”
“That makes two of us. Maybe my mom could help.”
“You’d get her involved in this?”
“No,” he said quickly. “But if my parents are thrilled to see us together, it’d force his hand. He couldn’t keep up this charade forever, not when everyone else is supportive of this relationship.”
“But she also might think it’s weird…because it kinda is.”
He shrugged. “Colton says it’s irrelevant that he’s gay, but I think it matters. He doesn’t want you, can’t have you, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have you. Some people might assume he would be happy to see you with his brother. But he doesn’t think that way, apparently.”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Yeah, I know.” He finished his food then downed his beer. He rested his arms on the table and stared at Soldier on the floor, where he still had the toy sitting on his paws. “He really loves that thing, huh?”
“Probably because it’s the only toy he’s got.” I gave Finn a nasty look as I cleared the plates and carried them to the sink. Since Finn did the cooking, I did the cleaning. I scrubbed the pans and put them in the dishwasher before I wiped down the counter.
“You want to watch TV or go to bed?”
“Depends. What time do you work tomorrow?”
“Morning shift.” His eyes narrowed in annoyance. “I hate the morning shift.”
“Why?”
“It’s quiet. People don’t start rolling in until after noon.”
“Since you have to be up early, let’s go to bed.”
“At least I can give you a ride home on my way to work tomorrow.”
“True.”
He started to turn all the lights off in the living room before he set the alarm. Together, we went upstairs with Soldier in tow, like a family that did this on a regular basis. We got into bed, and Soldier lay at the foot of the bed, taking up a big chunk of space with his size. Fortunately, he slept on my side, and since my legs were shorter, it worked.
Finn turned off the lights, and we lay there together, our faces close to each other on our pillows. He didn’t cuddle with me as he usually did. Instead, he watched me with those brilliant eyes, like he could look at me forever. “If only I’d met you first…”
Our lives would be much easier if that had been the case, but I still wouldn’t erase my time with Colton for anything. We had a bond that ran deep into our roots, a connection that existed beyond time and space. He was the closest thing I had to family, the gravity that kept me tethered to the earth. I needed both men in my life—not just one or the other. “It’ll work out, Finn. Have faith.”
He sighed quietly. “I fe
el bad for hurting my brother. But I don’t feel bad for having you.”
“It’s perfectly okay to feel both things at once.”
“Maybe. I just wish I could have both of you at once.”
Stella stopped by the shop during her lunch break. She strolled to the counter, wearing that knowing look on her face and decked out in her sexy workout clothes. She rocked a high pony with an 80’s neon-color sweatband in her hair.
I knew what that look meant.
She sauntered to the counter then tapped her hand against the surface. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about Finn.”
I’d known this conversation was coming, and I was prepared for it. “I didn’t tell anybody.”
“Obviously. You bagged the hottest piece of man candy in this city. Congratulations.”
I rolled my eyes. “He’s more than just a pretty face.”
“Yes. He’s a pretty body too. How big is he? Like, anaconda or garden snake?”
I narrowed my eyes. “I’m not answering that.”
“Oh, come on.”
“I respect his privacy, okay? I don’t ask how big Zach is.”
“Well, he’s actually pretty well-endowed down there…” She tilted her head to the side and smiled. “I was pleasantly surprised.”
I made a disgusted face. “TMI.”
“We always talk about this stuff. You told me about Jax’s junk.”
“But that was different.”
“How?” she asked incredulously.
“I don’t know… It’s different with Finn.”
“It is?” She leaned farther over the counter. “Ooh…spill it.”
I’d anticipated Stella would confront me with anger because I’d kept my relationship with Finn a secret for so long. She wanted him in the first place, and then I got him. That probably made things uncomfortable too. “I was expecting you to be angry with me.”
“I was at first, but then I understood why you kept it a secret. If you’d told anyone, word might have gotten back to Colton. Besides, I wouldn’t have felt comfortable keeping a secret like that anyway.”
Stella could be surprisingly pragmatic at times. “You aren’t upset with me, when you wanted Finn first?”