by Valia Lind
I take two steps to follow my friends, when something stops me. The majyk rises up inside of me, begging me to go back, to show off my power on those creatures. I guess freeing the majyk wasn't as good of a thing as I thought, because it's strong. It may be stronger than I.
"Cal," Brendan stopped, watching my internal struggle with concern on his face. That's all it takes to pull myself together.
"I'm good," I say, before following him to the garden room.
Once we're past the gate, we're running at full speed. Surprisingly, there was no one there to stop us and a part of me thinks it’s just another ploy of whatever scheme Vasilisa is planning. She waited until I was back to begin her last stand. Yet, she didn't wait too long. Maybe her plan was to blame it all on me. Isn't that what villains always try to do? Only, can I really call her a villain when I'm as much of one as she is.
I move on automatic, staying alert just enough to make sure we're safe. Brendan knows exactly where he's going and I don't question him. I think about the people we're leaving behind, and those for whom it's already too late. I wonder about my parents and if they're still alive. I have so many unanswered questions, so many aspects of my plan that didn't come to fruition, because Vasilisa beat me to it. I baited her and I lost.
It's another hour before we slow down. Jemma is keeping up with us by sheer determination at this point. Briefly, I wonder if we're stopping just for her, but we seem to have come to our destination. The trees part in front of Brendan, just enough for us to walk through, before shutting again. For a second I think we've stepping into another clearing, but there are trees here, strategically placed throughout the area. The forest shields it on every side, the air here feels heavier than anything I would've imagined. It's like I can almost see the majyk.
"What is this place?" I ask, peering through the darkness, once again thankful for my fae vision.
"The graveyard of the Ancients," Brendan answers, "We'll be safe here from Vasilisa, or the Glava, as they are not allowed to step foot on sacred ground."
I wonder what this sacred ground thinks of me. Brendan seems to notice my hesitation, moving closer as the rest of the group files past. His hand barely grazes my skin and I can feel it in every part of my body. Looking up at him, I see the same support I've always seen and it brings tears to my eyes. I open my mouth to speak but don't get that far.
"We're going to sleep in a cemetery?" Jemma asks from behind me. Turning to her, I try on a small smile of comfort, because it's not exactly a comfortable place for me either.
"We'll be safe here," Brendan replies, his voice gentle. He steps over to Jemma, looking down into her eyes. "We're going to set up a perimeter and stay on guard. But this land, it's blessed by our ancestors for the purpose of it being their final resting place. We can't be attacked there. Any kind of violence is banned."
She nods, accepting that at face value and wanders over to where Rus is helping Lana settle. Maxwell stays behind, waiting until she's out of earshot, before speaking up.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" He whispers, keeping his voice low, and I know he's been eager to ask these questions. Even though he didn't train specifically as a solider, he knows how we operate and he waited. I wish he would continue the waiting game because I don't want to talk about it. Taking a deep breath, I take one last look at my friends and turn to the boys.
"There may have been some things that I've been keeping from you," I begin, and receive a small chuckle from Maxwell.
"Yeah, that much I know." I roll my eyes, but I bite my tongue because I can't blame him for being smart or intuitive. If anyone was going to figure it out on their own, it would've been Maxwell. But now, I get to crush his whole world view just like I did with Brendan. When I say the words, I fear them and what they bring. But I have no choice.
"There is a prophecy that speaks of Koschei Besmertnii, it has everything to do with me. Because I am...him."
I don't wait for Maxwell to respond and I don't meet his eye. That may make me a coward, but I never claimed to be anything else. Everything I told Brendan earlier rushes out of me, while I keep my eyes on the darkness that surrounds us. When I'm done, I still don't look at him. I'm not sure I'll survive if I lose him, but just like with Brendan, he surprises me.
"It makes sense. The prophecy was bound to happen sometime."
This time I do look at him and there is no judgment in his eyes, or hatred. There's a type of sadness that I put there for keeping this from him. I want to say something to comfort him, to apologize, but then his words hit me.
"You've heard of the prophecy?"
"More like anti-prophecy, because aren't prophecies usually good?" Maxwell muses and I resist the urge to shake him. This is not the time for his tangents.
"Focus please."
"Right, yes. From what I remember, very vaguely, the rising of Koschei's ancestor is supposed to bring with it a shift in majyk. The council has supposedly been preparing, but it's been so long, that I'm not sure how true that is anymore."
"Wait, the council knows too?" I step away, running a hand over my face, the pieces being chucked at me like I'm in a dodge ball game. But maybe it actually makes sense now, everything that they've put me through. Although if they knew about me, would they have sent me to the human realm? Why am I always ending up with more questions than answers.
"Do you think they know about me?" I ask, turning back to the boys. Brendan hasn't said a word, but I can see him going over the new information. I want his take on things, I need us to keep communicating. I don’t know if I can handle the silence, and I guess that makes me a hypocrite considering how long I’ve kept them in the dark.
"I don't know," Maxwell answers, shrugging. "I've never been allowed to study the Koschei the Deathless texts. I've only snuck in some reading years ago. If we could get back to the castle, I could see if I could find out more, but..."
"But it's not like we're welcome there," I finish his train of thought. Glancing over to the rest of our group, I see that Jemma is now sitting with Lana, while Devra builds a fire with the firewood Rus just brought over. Getting back to the castle is probably the last thing any of them want to do, but at this point, I need more information. We can't just keep hiding, which is what I feel like I've been doing. I have this crazy majyk inside of me, and a destiny I'm still trying to figure out, and it's as if I've been frozen in this time and space. As twisted as this may be, pushing Vasilisa into action, even at the expense of all those lives...it might be the grease that gets the wheel moving.
"What are you thinking?" Brendan asks, keeping his voice low. Looking up, I find concern in his gaze and something else I can't quite place.
"I don't know," I echo Maxwell's earlier statement, but then I revise it. After all, I promised to be truthful with him. "I'm thinking getting back to the castle and having a take a look at those books may be profitable. But at the same time, we just got out. They need rest and so do we. We have to make sure Lana is okay and I don't know how to do that without a Healer."
Suddenly, lighting flashes across the sky, causing a tiny squeak to escape Jemma. Instantly, I'm on alert, but I realize it just scared her. The rest of the group haven't moved, but to look up at the dark sky. Thunder follows, shaking the ground beneath our feet and I twist to look at Brendan in alarm.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but we don't get thunder and lightning in Skazka."
The ground shifts again, this time of its own accord, a small earthquake rippling the underside of where we stand. The feeling of it, here, in my homeland, it's unnatural. And apparently something that hasn’t stopped since the first time we felt it.
"No, we do not have this type of a weather in Skazka." Brendan says, scanning our surroundings for immediate danger. As one, we rush over to the rest of the group and Jemma reaches for me as soon as I'm beside her. Even though she's experienced storms her whole life, I'm sure she picks up on the tension currently running through our group.
"What's happening
?" Rus asks, his eyes on me. Even after everything, they're still looking at me as their leader and I'm not sure I can describe the feeling that evokes in me.
"I don't know exactly." But I have an idea, we thought of this the first time we felt an earthquake.
"Well, we probably should find shelter," Jemma speaks up, glancing from one of us to the other. "It'll probably rain."
When no one says a thing, she continues to study our faces. "What?"
"We don't have storms like these here," Maxwell answers gently, watching her face. "It's not right."
"But it feels the same as the storms back home," she argues, before realizing that she isn't in the same realm, like she’s only a few states over. But her words do make sense, and I decide to tell them. Even though they’re probably overloaded by now.
"What if it is?" I ask. The group turns to me as one, even as another lightning flashes around us. "We felt an earthquake a week ago, when we were in the forest, and our first thought was that maybe a rift was open, and the storm was spilling over. But if it’s not an isolated incident—“ I trail off, before taking a deep breath and finishing my thought, “What if this is part of that majyk shift? The storms were a cause of an unbalance in our world. Now..."
"The worlds are blurring together." Brendan finishes, just as thunder sounds. If we're to think about it, it's the only explanation that makes sense. The majyk has been messing with the human world the whole time I was there, so why can't the opposite be true?
20
There isn't much in a way of shelter, but we try. Lana's injuries have put her out of commission, even though she continues to insist that she can fight one handed.
"Lana, I know you're tough. You don't have to prove anything to me. Can you please just rest?" I've finally had enough, putting my foot down. She huffs and puffs, but eventually settles against a tree, falling instantly asleep. "Can you please stay with her?" I ask Rus, even though I already know he won't leave her side. He nods anyway, taking a position where he can be easily reached, but still on alert.
"I'll take first shift," I say, addressing the rest of them. "Try to get some rest."
Without waiting for a reply, I turn and walk to the edge of the tree line. Even with everything that's been going on, I know they'll follow my lead.
I should've trusted them earlier.
That regret might hunt me for the rest of my life. If I live long enough to hold on to any of these regrets, that is. At the end of the line, I'm not scared of dying. It's been programmed into us since birth, the possibility that we might, and it's not something I fear. But I fear leaving things undone and people I love. And Brendan.
He's standing at the tree line, watching the perimeter. Maxwell is staying close to Jemma, while trying to remember anything from his research days on the prophecy. Another example of me losing out on information, if only I trusted him sooner.
"How are they?" Brendan asks without turning around, as if he can feel my presence. I stop beside him, my eyes to the left, while his roam to the right. The rain started a few moments ago, but it's only a slight drizzle for now. I don't respond right away, savoring this moment for just a second. He shifts his body, so we're back to back and his warmth overwhelms my skin, even with the small distance between us. A big part of me wants to lean back into him, absorbing whatever comfort he can offer, but I have to remind myself that I don't deserve it and have no right to expect anything from him. Instead of giving in, I turn and he follows suit.
"They're handling it better than I would," I say, shrugging because it's true. Maybe it's because I don't know who I am anymore that I keep thinking the worst of people. Or maybe it's because I am the worst of all. But they're still beside me, they're still standing with me, and I don't know what to do with that. It terrifies me because I know it puts them all in incredible danger. Just being near me does that.
"You should give yourself more credit," Brendan's voice breaks through my thoughts and I glance up to find him studying me. He always looks so pensive when I'm around, as if he's trying to look inside of me and figure out all the little piece that make up who I am. If only it was that easy, I'd let him.
Ignoring his statement, I turn back toward the clearing. "You should get some rest. I'm taking the first shift."
Then, without waiting for a response, I turn and walk back through the tree line. At first I think he'll follow, but he always did understand me better than I understood myself. I need the time alone and he's giving it to me. When I stop a few feet from the tree line, I study it carefully, before focusing on my majyk. I've done the protection spell before, but even then, I didn't know exactly what I was doing. This time, I allow the majyk inside of me to guide me as I focus on the intent. When I open my eyes a flash of purple ripples in the air around me, before zipping away in both directions. I smile to myself, because I can feel it surrounding the graveyard now, my majyk, my protection. It's an extra insurance as I head farther into the woods, looking for a good vantage point. I need to be far away that I can give them a fair warning, but close enough that I can cover the entry point. It's always a gamble when you're in the woods, because there is so much space to cover, so many places one might hide.
I find a tree and hoist myself up unto the branches. Settling back against the rough bark, I scan my immediate surroundings, once again where I started. We've spent a week in the woods, trying to get to Jemma, only to come back to them. The days are longer in Skazka so who knows how long the human world has been going on. For a second, I wonder what Jemma's parents are thinking. I didn't even consider them, up until this point. I'm not sure what that says about me. But then again, I've been wondering about so many things, I don't know if I'll ever stop. Every single one of my actions is weighed against that of Koschei, on a scale of good and evil. Both of those are inside of me, but which one rules my own self, that’s the real question that I keep asking. One I’m not getting any closer to figuring out.
It grows quiet around me, the critters all hiding from the storm. But I'm glad for the silence. It give me the time to think.
It's been days since my last flashback and I wonder if those are forever gone. If this is as good as it gets when it comes to my memories. I know I'm still missing huge chunks of information and I'll have to figure out a way of getting those back, even without my memories. Maybe I never will. With Vasilisa in the midst of her plan, I'll have to be smarter and quicker.
"If only I knew what I was doing," I mumble out loud, breaking up the silence that's fallen around me.
"You need guidance."
The voice comes from below me and I jerk to attention. Scanning the area, I see nothing, but I feel it. Dropping down from my branch, I make a slow study, trying to pinpoint where she's coming from. The air ripples with the majyk, dark majyk, and my own answers in kind. She materializes a few feet in front of me, dressed in a deep maroon gown that glitters in the low light.
"Hello, Calista. I told you we'd meet again."
"Baba Yaga," I breathe out, staring at her as if I've never seen her before.
"I think it's time we had a talk, no?" She asks, curling her lips in a smirk. The conflicting emotions of wanting to fight her and listen to her rise up inside of me. Before I can do something foolish, I curb the desire and decide to hear her out. After all, she came to me.
"What do you want?" I ask, standing up straighter. Growing up on stories about her, I know I should be afraid of her. But I'm anything but. I stand my ground and I'm almost certain she respects that.
"I want to help you. I want to help you take down Vasilisa."
"And why would you do something like that?"
"Because despite of what you may think of me, Skazka is my home and I want to protect it."
That, I can understand on a personal level. Wasn't I just thinking about the terrible danger my friends and family are? Destroying Skazka would ruin them. They can't live in other realms, they won't survive without the majyk. Majyk is what we are. Maybe I should consult with the guy
s. After all, I did promise I won't keep any secrets from them. But for some reason, I don't move. I watch her steadily, deciding to hear her out.
"Then, talk." I finally say, and she does.
Her plan is solid, I have to give her that much. But I guess you can't be the most powerful enchantress in Skazka and not be a genius. A part of me, that part that I try to keep under control, wants to jump at the chance. It's brilliant and twisted and all the things I'm trying so hard not to be. I need to talk to Brendan. And Maxwell. They know me better than I know myself. I can't make this decision without them. Not after the promises I made. Especially the ones I made to myself.
"You want this," Baba Yaga speaks up, watching me steadily. She hasn't taken her eyes off me the whole time she's been here and I find it unnerving. Which she, of course, knows. Everything about her is part of a strategy.
"I want Vasilisa off the throne and Glava out of Skazka."
"Why can't you have both?"
"Because you are asking me to be the catalyst between them."
"You already are."
She's right, I've been so since the moment of my birth. But it doesn't mean I will allow someone else to decide my destiny. I've already allowed way too much of me to depend on something that I no longer am. Even with most of my memories intact, I'm not the same person. My majyk is not the same majyk I grew up with and my heart is no longer beating in my chest. There's no going back from that, but I can chose how I handle what comes next.
I open my mouth to speak, but something stops me. That feeling, at the back of my neck, the awareness like no other. Instantly, my eyes scan the immediate area, but I don't see him.
"He's missed you," Baba Yaga's voice reaches me the same moment Kot Bayun materializes in front of me. He stride over with determination, slow enough that he can keep his eyes on me, as he makes a circle around us. He's bigger than I remember, his fur is green to match his surroundings and I think I'll be afraid, but I'm not. The same feeling I felt in my memory returns, the feeling of comfort. He stops beside Baba Yaga, sitting down prim and proper on her left. I can't stop looking at him. The way his fur shines even in the near darkness around us, the way his eyes pierce me as if he knows exactly what I'm thinking.