by Kaci Rose
"I don't feel safe anywhere." He admits.
That small admission breaks my heart. I can't pretend to know what he's been through, but for him not to feel safe, is something I want to fix, though I have no idea how.
I might ask a few of the nurses at the hospital if they have any suggestions.
"I'd really like to show you the grounds. I'm so proud of what Lexi and Noah have done here, but I won't push you. Just think about it. We can start slow by just staying inside."
He doesn't acknowledge me, just turns his head to look out of the window.
Suddenly, Molly jumps off Easton's lap and gets between me and the door, as a guy from the kitchen pops his head in with Easton's lunch.
"Hey cool, you're letting people in your room now." Then, he takes a step into the room. I look back at Easton and see panic in his eyes.
Molly starts to growl and lunges at the kitchen guy.
"No, he isn't. Now get out. Molly down." I yell.
Molly continues to growl, but slowly sits down with her back feet under her, ready to pounce the second the guy shows any signs of danger.
Easton's nurse comes running, along with Lexi and Noah. I step forward and take the lunch tray.
"Get him out of here," I growl too, glaring at the kitchen guy.
"I need to check on him." His nurse, Kaitlyn, says.
"East?" I ask him, but he isn't with us. His eyes are blank, and he doesn't register I'm talking to him. I'm pretty sure he's back in that dark room.
"Let me try, please?"
Kaitlyn looks over at Lexi and Noah before she agrees.
"What happened with Molly?" Lexi asks.
"I'll tell you before I go. I’ll stop by your office, I promise. Now go." I say and close the door behind them.
"East. It's Paisley." Using a soft voice, I slowly take a few steps towards him. With a simple hand motion, Molly stays at my side.
"Are they gone?" He asks, but his eyes still aren't focused.
"Yes, it's just you, me, and Molly.”
He doesn't move, and I start to worry.
"Easton, I need you to look at me," I beg.
"It's you."
"Yes, it's me." I take a few steps closer.
He shakes his head.
"Noah asked me last night. It's you."
I still don't understand, but he turns his head and finally looks into my eyes.
"There you are." I breathe a sigh of relief. "I need to go let them know you’re okay. Kaitlyn wants to check on you. Molly will stay here with you, and I’ll only be gone a few minutes. Is that okay?"
He nods.
"Molly, up," I say, and she wastes no time climbing back into his lap.
I head to the door and turn to look at him, before opening it. He’s watching me and gives me another nod, before I open the door and find Kaitlyn, Lexi, and Noah in the hallway.
"He's fine, but a little dazed," I tell them.
"I really need to go check on him," Kaitlyn says again.
"Yeah, he said it's okay. Molly is there, and she won't be an issue."
I tilt my head down the hall away from Easton's door, and Lexi and Noah follow.
"That little shit from the kitchen, Molly lunged at him. She freaks anytime he gets near me. Only him, and he gives me the creeps. After today, I think it's best you reassign him and keep him away from Easton's room."
Lexi and Noah look at each other and have one of their silent conversations. You know, the one couples who know each other well enough have.
"Okay, he won’t be near Easton again," Lexi says, and I turn to leave, but then stop.
"Noah, what did you ask him last night? He keeps saying it's me. That you asked him, and it's me."
Noah smiles, "I thought so. I asked him what he thinks about, when he wakes up from the nightmares. Who calms him.”
"Me?" I ask, slightly dumbfounded.
"Yep. For me, it was Lexi. Just some food for thought." He says with a wink, as he wraps his arm around Lexi's waist, and they walk off.
I wait outside Easton’s door for his nurse to come back out.
"He's doing okay. He turned down any medication. Though, I reminded him that I have something to help his nerves and anxiety, if he wants it. Otherwise, just call if you need anything." She smiles at me and leaves, I’m sure to talk to Lexi and Noah.
I peek my head back in, and he's in the same spot with Molly on his lap.
Watching him for a few minutes, I really wish I knew what I could do to help him. I want to break him out of this prison he's trapped in and let him live again. I just don't know how.
But being here with Molly seems to help him, and if that's all I can do right now, then so be it. It will have to be enough.
For now.
Chapter 6
Chapter 6
Easton
As I stare out of the window while petting Molly, I try not to focus on the nurse in my room. She checks my vitals and asks if I want some medication before leaving. Thankfully, she doesn't linger. That's one of the things I like about her. She’s right to the point.
My conversation with Noah from last night comes to mind again. He knew. Without a shadow of a doubt, Noah knew it was Paisley. He just needed me to make the connection. She makes everything easier.
Almost like I conjured her up, she walks in slowly and stands by the couch.
"I wish I could give you a hug right now." She says shyly.
I swallow hard, because there’s nothing more that I want than to have her body pressed up against mine. To hold her and let her be my shield against everything trying to drag me down.
"I wish you could, too," I whisper.
I want to always be honest with her.
She walks to the chair that’s closest to me and turns it to face me.
"Is it okay if I sit here?" She stands behind the chair.
It’s closer than she has been, and sitting there, she’ll be facing me for the first time. It's much more intimate, but it doesn't give me the anxiety, like the nurse being in my room does.
I nod and watch her every move, as she sits down and slips off her sandals, and curls her legs under her, like she used to do when we would watch movies at her house.
"Did having Molly with you make it easier when the nurse was in here?" She wants to know.
I nod again.
"If you'd like, I can bring her in for your next doctor's appointment and see if it helps." She shrugs.
"If it's not too much trouble. I don't want you taking time off work."
"This is my work."
"What?"
"Well, I train service animals mostly for veterans and some first responders. I deal mostly with anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, and emotional issues. Also, I assist in helping train seeing eye dogs."
"So, you have other dogs you’re training?"
"Yep, I have two others at home, but Molly is mine, though. She was a rescue and already partially trained. I finished training her, and we bonded, so she’s the one I volunteer with, and the only one allowed to sleep in bed with me." She smiles, picking some lint off her shirt.
"I have one who is almost ready. I like to bring them into the hospital with Molly and see how they do, and then make sure I didn't overlook anything. If you’d like when I bring him in, you can see him, too. I promise to have Molly. Then, I can leave Molly with you and make the rounds with him."
"I'd like that," I say.
I want to see what she does. This wasn't something she ever talked about in school. She had planned to be a nurse the last I heard.
"What happened to being a nurse?" I ask her.
She looks shocked for a minute like she can't believe I remembered.
"When I was in school for nursing, I met another girl who did this. We bonded and hung out, and she began teaching me. I fell in love with it and switched my major. She and I still talk, and she’ll come in and help me if I get stuck on something. Though, she takes her dogs to nursing homes, I was led or pulled into visiting
veterans."
"I'm glad you did," I say and hold her eyes for a moment longer than I normally do. She offers me a shy smile, before tucking some of her dark brown hair behind her ear.
"Have you told Leeland I'm here?" I ask her.
"No."
"Let's not tell him just yet. Is that okay?" I hate to have her keep secrets from her brother, but I'm just not ready to face him yet. Not like this.
"Fine by me. I'm not his biggest fan right now," she sighs.
"Why not?"
"Well, two reasons. One, the girl he's dating is a real piece of work, and two, because he’s still acting like a frat boy in college and refuses to grow up. To top it off, he's having some sort of pool party at our parents’ house with some frat buddies, and my mom wants me to stop by. I'm sure she conned him into having it there because it’s for her to see who's single, and who she can push me off on."
"You're an adult, Paisley. You don't have to go," I tell her.
It’s still hard to believe this girl has grown up into a beautiful woman.
"I know, and I wasn't going to go, but Atticus is almost ready, and this would be a great test for him. So, I'm going to take him and see how it goes."
“Atticus being the one you were telling me about that’s almost ready?"
"Yeah. This party is tomorrow. I can go early, then have a friend call me and rescue me, and we’ll go hang out. It won't be that bad."
"So, your brother was in a frat house?" I ask a bit shocked.
"Yep, and then he even tried to get me to join a sorority, but that wasn't my thing. I kept my head down in school and had a few friends, but I didn't like the party crowd, like he did."
I'm relieved to know she wasn't out partying, and I’m surprised that I don't like the idea of her putting herself in those dangerous situations. Not that I have any right to get upset about it.
"Well, I better get going. I want to do some more training with Atticus before tomorrow. I should be back the day after tomorrow."
"I’ll see you then," I say, and watch her and Molly walk out of the door.
I wait, and just like every time she visits, Paisley goes out the front door, turns, and waves to me with a smile. Then, she takes Molly to the front yard, removes her vest, and then lets Molly run. She throws a ball, and Molly has a blast.
I'm sure this is to tire her out before they head home, but I like to think Paisley is putting on a bit of a show for me.
***
When the knock on my door comes, I expect it to be Noah or maybe my nurse, but I don’t expect to see Paisley.
My heart clenches, because she looks upset, and I want to reach out and hold her, but I can't. She's wearing shorts and a loose t-shirt that looks like the swimsuit cover-ups she used to wear, and I can see the strings of her bathing suit around the back of her neck.
"You okay?" I ask, not knowing what else to say.
"Is it okay I'm here? I didn't know where else to go."
"Of course, sit down," I point towards the chair she sat in last time she was here. It hasn't been moved, and it's still facing me.
At her side, isn't Molly, but an Australian Shepard that is mostly gray with white, black, and brown patches.
"This is Atticus. Can he come to say hi?"
"Yeah," I say, holding my hand down for him.
Atticus looks up at Paisley for permission.
"Good, boy. Go slow." She says and nods to him. Atticus then starts slowly walking over to me. He sniffs my hand, and then puts his head under my hand to get me to pet him.
"If you want him in your lap, you’ll have to call him up. He's a bit more trained than Molly is."
"Atticus," I say and pet my lap.
He slowly climbs up on me. His steps are very measured, unlike Molly, who jumps up and settles right in. The more I pet him the more he relaxes.
"Is he being trained for someone specific?" I ask.
"Yep, there’s a soldier who was wounded in action about two years ago. Molly helped him a bit with some panic attacks and PTSD, and I finally convinced him to get a dog. Atticus has been great for him. We visit him twice a week, and he helps with the training. Having Atticus will finally allow him to live on his own, so he's excited."
We sit for a few minutes, while I pet Atticus.
"How did the party go?" I ask, wanting to know what made her upset.
"Not good. I lost it on my brother, then my parents, and then I left. I couldn't go home, because I know that's where they’ll go look for me. The next thing I knew, I was here." She says.
We both sit in the quiet for a few minutes.
"Want to talk about it?"
"I'm sure you don't want to hear it." She snuggles deeper into the chair.
"Paisley look around. My biggest source of entertainment is watching people come and go. Trust me, if you want to talk, I want to listen." I’m being the most honest I have been in a long time.
"Well, as expected, my mom was gushing over me being single and sticking her nose in where it didn't belong. It was fine at first. Atticus did well around the guys and the noise. I took off his vest and let him go swim and play, but it's like doing that was an open invitation for the guys, who had way too much to drink to be assholes." She looks out of the window.
I'm not sure I want to hear more, but I can tell she needs to talk about it, and I need to know how many of my old best friend's frat buddies’ asses I need to plow for upsetting this beautiful girl.
"What happened?" I ask.
"They started hitting on me. It was like a game. I'd say no to one and walk away and another would come on even stronger. When I got annoyed, I called Atticus back over and put his vest back on. He did great by the way, switching from work, to play, and then back to work. Then, they got rude and nasty, and my brother started egging them on. All I thought about was how when he was in school with you, he kept guys away from me. Good guys. Now, he’s egging on these assholes, so I lost it."
Even I can sense the tension in her, and Atticus looks up at her, wondering what to do. She takes a deep breath.
"It's okay, Atticus. I'm okay." She nods, and he lays his head back down.
"After I yelled at my brother, I went inside getting ready to leave, and then my mom tried to get me to stay. I snapped at her, saying things like what kind of a mother pushes her daughter on drunken assholes. How dare she keep pushing me even after I had told her no the first time. My father stood there dumbfounded, and I can't blame him. I've never talked to them like that. I left, and knew if they went looking, they'd look at my house or my friend’s house, so I came here." She says with another big sigh.
"I'm glad you came here," I tell her.
She looks over at me and studies me for a minute before she smiles.
"Tell me about Atticus here," I say, trying to shift moods, and it works.
She talks to me for an hour, ignoring her phone going off. As the sun starts to set, I sigh.
"You should probably face the music and get it over with," I tell her.
"I know. Thank you for listening to me, Easton."
Does she have any idea what effect her saying my name has on me?
As I watch her leave, I know I have to try harder for her.
It's time to start pushing.
Chapter 7
Chapter 7
Paisley
It's been a few days, since I showed up and had my breakdown with Easton. My mom was in tears by the time I called her. We talked, and by the end of the conversation, she promised to stop trying to set me up or push me on any guys. I guess we will see how long that lasts.
Apparently, after I walked out, my dad blew a gasket and kicked them all out, and then went off on my brother, who sobered up real fast, when he realized what exactly had happened.
He then called apologizing, but I'm still mad at him the most. It will fade, it always has. I just need time. This is what he does. He screws up, Mom and Dad clean up his mess, and eventually, we all forgive him and move on. Rinse and repeat.
But I shake all that off, as I go to visit Easton.
I expect to find him sitting in the chair today, but he isn't. He's standing looking out the window. I can tell Molly is put off, because she’s at my side, looking up at me with a 'what is going on Mom' look on her face.
"Easton?" I ask softly, hoping he's okay.
He turns his head to look at me, and then takes a deep breath.
"Let's go for a walk." He says, and I'm pretty sure my jaw drops to the ground.
He walks slowly over to where I'm standing in the doorway, and other than handing him the meatloaf that day, this is the closest I've been to him. His gray eyes haven't changed a bit, but the beard is still new to me, and I want to reach out to touch him so badly that my hand twitches, but I stop myself. This isn't about what I want. Though we are just going for a walk, this is a big step, and I won't mess it up.
I clear my throat. "Do you want to hold Molly's leash?"
He shakes his head, "No, but I'd like her to come with us. Just to the lobby."
"Lexi is at the desk out there, so we can go say hi, and then come right back here."
He nods, and I back out of the door to the other side of the hallway.
"You set the pace, and remember, Molly and I have your six," I say, using the military term that means we have his back.
It seems to loosen him up just enough that he takes that first step out of his room. "Want me to talk?" He nods, his jaw clenched, and his fists closed tightly at his side. Molly is right there next to him, touching her nose to his hands, letting him know she's there, too.
To distract him, I talk about the conversation with my brother, what my father did after I left, and how my brother even called to apologize. By the time I finish, we are standing in the archway that leads from the hallway to the lobby.
To our left are floor to ceiling windows that overlook a courtyard. Ahead of us is the desk Lexi is sitting at, and the lobby is in front of us and to our right. When Lexi looks up, she does a double take, seeing Easton out of his room.
Looking behind him, I see another patient coming down the hall, so I hold my hand up, and he stops. Holding up a finger in a one-minute motion, he nods and goes back down the hall.