His Frost Maiden

by Michelle M. Pillow

  “You and Jack? A daughter?” Josselyn whispered, understanding. Then Evan would not someday come.

  “She is a good soul, troubled but one who will find her way to us eventually after she’s lived her life. I regret that I was not the mother to her that I was to you, but she is still our family.” Lady Craven dropped her hand.

  “I will welcome her as my sister,” Josselyn said, seeing the familiar look of pleading in her father’s eyes. Even death did not erase his desire to protect his wife.

  “We are proud, daughter,” her father said, smiling gratefully. “You have made us proud.”

  “Ago pugna quod intereo per veneration,” Josselyn read aloud as her eyes lifted to the carved stone that graced the entryway to the hall. It seemed to flutter, appearing and disappearing in accordance with her desire to look at it.

  “Yes, we have all lived with honor and this is our reward,” her mother said. Laughter seemed to rise up around her, as both parents touched her arms, pulling her along with them to where the dining platform was raised. Music, low at first but growing with each heartbeat, filled the air. Servants appeared, as did people she knew from the surrounding village. They all smiled, as if welcoming her to them. The smell of roasted meat and sweet pastries became thick. This was a celebration—for her, welcoming her home.

  Chapter 27

  Evan pulled Josselyn’s arm, dragging her body into his embrace as he struggled to stand. Her limbs flopped, uncontrolled, as he carried her across his quarters. Evan slammed his shoulder against the hand sensor, opening the door. His precarious hold on Josselyn began to slip, but he gripped tighter, hurrying through the corridors toward the medical unit.

  Inside her, the cold nothingness he felt chilled him to the bone. His nose burned, but he refused to cry, to pity himself. Medical booths could not bring back the dead, but if he tried, if he could just get her there fast enough, maybe he could save her, maybe there was a bit of life inside her that he couldn’t feel. And yet, a part of him had felt this moment, had felt her death long before it ever happened. He knew it would come and still he rushed to fight it.

  Under the awkward set of her weight in his arms, his feet slipped, but he righted himself and continued on.

  “What’s happening?” Mei’s voice rang down the corridor, reaching him before he could see her. “Who’s stomping...? Evan?”

  Evan met her dark eyes, his expression pleading in a way his words could not. “Mei, please, help.”

  “Jarek,” Mei screamed, hurrying forward. “Evan, what happened? You shouldn’t be carrying her. You’re too weak. You can barely stand.” And then Mei touched Josselyn, only to draw her hands back just as fast. “Evan? She’s ice cold.”

  “No,” Evan growled. “I just need to get her warm. Help me take her to the med—”

  “What is it?” Jarek asked, running to join them.

  “Josselyn’s...” Mei took a step back, motioning to the unmoving form still clutched in Evan’s arms.

  Evan pushed past her, not wanting to hear anyone say she was lost to him as he carried Josselyn to the medical booth. He struggled to place her inside. Jarek was instantly there, helping him.

  “Mei, start the medic,” Jarek ordered.

  “But she’s gone. Look at her. She’s turned blue. It’s too late,” Mei protested, even as she reached for the consul.

  “Just do it, Mei!” Evan barked. A violent shiver worked over him.

  Mei pushed at the consul screen. “This is what the wind told me. I thought it said we’d lose Parker. That he, as the new soul on this ship, would die.”

  “What are you talking about?” Jarek asked.

  “Our son. I wanted his name changed because I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want fate to find him. We were docked on Werten and the desert wind said...” Mei paused, looking tragically at Evan. He felt her mix of pity for him and relief her son. “I’m sorry, Ev. Josselyn was the newest soul on this ship. I thought it meant Parker.”

  Evan had known Mei had her own premonitions of sorts. He’d known it shook her to the core and gripped her in fear over her son, but he hadn’t pressed her for more information because, with his own power, he knew Parker would be fine. Bittersweet agony and relief flooded him—agony for his heart, relief for his friends and anger that he should have to choose between the two emotions. He blocked Mei and Jarek from his feelings. In that moment, as he stared at Josselyn’s lifeless face, he knew the feelings in his heart as being his own. The love he felt was not just empathy for Josselyn, it wasn’t just pity and sympathy. It was his. And that was the perfect irony—to finally discover completely and surely that what he felt was his alone, but to find such surety in his love’s death.

  “Start it again,” Evan demanded when the unit made a low tone saying it was done. He heard Mei comply. The sound caused him to turn and he strode across the small room to the consul to watch what she pushed. She was doing everything right, though her movements were too slow and shaky. “It won’t kill your son to save her!” He pushed her roughly out of the way. Jarek caught his wife in his arms. “Have you ever considered that the wind on Werten lies? Or speaks a language unfamiliar to you? I’ve seen the great things Parker is set to do with his life. You will be grandparents several times over.”

  Mei gasped. “I was so sure.”

  “That is why you’ve been hiding yourself from me?” Jarek asked. “That is why you barely leave his side?”

  Mei nodded, but Evan blocked her answer from his mind. Josselyn was not recovering. Part of him knew he would lose her, had seen her death, her pale face. Still, he was shocked by how much it hurt. Knowledge had not made it easier.

  “I don’t understand,” Jarek said, drawing Evan from his thoughts. The booth kept trying to shut off to give a death report. “Zhang An said...”

  “She said, ‘If you do not recognize it, you will lose it and be forever alone’,” Evan answered. He pushed the medical unit’s consul again and again to restart it, but each time the cycle became shorter and shorter until the display image froze with an error warning. Crossing to Josselyn, he stroked her cool cheek. “This is my fault. If I hadn’t of questioned what I felt for you as being empathy, I wouldn’t have lost you.”

  “Evan, I’m sorry,” Mei whispered.

  “I’ll have Rick change course for the Florencian moons. I can think of no better place to take her,” Jarek said. “Viktor can make the appropriate ship logs. We will leave you alone with her.”

  “Don’t bother to write it in the logs,” Evan whispered, barely hearing his own words through the pain rolling over his soul. “There is no one to inform. She is the last of her people.”

  Chapter 28

  Josselyn smiled down at her brothers, watching as they danced with pretty maids. Unlike life, in death they were not confined to the floor and many couples floated above the hall, twirling and laughing in merriment. Feeling a hand on her arm, she smiled as she glanced at her mother.

  “Why don’t you dance? Plenty of young knights and villein have no partner.” Her mother motioned down to the lower tables to where a group of men sat laughing and drinking.

  “I left someone behind,” Josselyn said, as her mother gently stroked back her hair. “One of the men who saved me from the stone prison.”

  “You weren’t awake all that long,” Lady Craven put forth.

  “No.” Josselyn nodded. “But it was long enough.”

  “You were always so stubborn when it came to men.” Lady Craven insisted. “Are you sure it wasn’t just gratitude?”

  “No. It was love.” She closed her eyes, seeing Evan’s face, hearing the whisper of his voice. “There was something when he touched me. I could sense him inside me and he felt me inside of him. I know now why I was so stubborn with men. It was because when I lived, he did not exist yet. My heart knew a hundred years ago that it belonged to Evan.”

  “If there was a way to make you forget him, would you take it?” Her mother stroked back her hair, like when sh
e was a little girl. “Would you forget so that you may live here, with us, without regret?”

  “No,” Josselyn said. “But it’s not regret I feel. I just miss him.”

  “Then you really do love him,” her mother said, nodding. “It might not be too late.”

  “For what?”

  “Your body is still intact. You can try to go back. We can try to help your spirit find its way, just like we helped you find your way to Jack.”

  Josselyn gasped, starting to smile, only to stop. “Can you come with me? We can be a family again, live the life we should have lived.”

  “No, our bodies are long gone.” Her mother leaned forward, kissing her cheek.

  Suddenly, Josselyn frowned. She couldn’t go back. What if she killed him? But maybe this time would be different. She knew her parents were all right and that their souls continued on in happiness. This time it could be different.

  “What is it?” her mother asked.

  “I don’t know if he feels the same way.” Josselyn took a deep breath. What if he couldn’t grow to love her?

  “If you love him...” Her mother glanced down to where her father talked to some of the knights. “Then you will take the chance. I did not raise you to have a closed heart and your father did not raise you to be scared of chances. If he does not love you, he is a fool. I know you’re scared, my sweet child, but I will not have you live eternity with this regret. You should go and when you’ve lived a full life, a good life, you will come back to us and you will bring your heart with you. We will welcome you with open arms, and any you bring with you.”

  Josselyn closed her eyes briefly, as her mother kissed her again. When she opened them, her family was again around her. They were alone in the hall.

  “We’ve waited a very long time for you. We can wait longer,” her father said. “Promise me you will live an honorable life, so we may be together when you do come back to us.”

  Josselyn nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks. She would miss her family, but parting from them wasn’t like before. This time, she’d get a chance to say goodbye.

  Chapter 29

  Evan stared at Josselyn’s face for so long the unmoving lines blurred and became a mass of pale colors. He knew when he finally blinked, he’d have to stand up. When he finally stood up, he’d have to take her from the medical booth. And when that happened, he would have to admit that it was over. Josselyn was dead.

  He leaned against the far wall, ignoring the cold, hard metal along his back. When his dry eyes couldn’t stay open, he blinked hard. Josselyn’s face came back into focus. Finally, he pushed away from the wall. He took a step toward her and stopped. Without conscious reasoning, he went to the consul and pressed the button, making the unit test her again. Inside, his heart squeezed. “Please, Josselyn, please.” The unit beeped and he drew his hand away, knowing his actions to be futile. “Goodbye, Josselyn.”

  Evan grabbed his chest as a sharp pain radiated over him. He held onto the consul for support. The ache was just like before and he realized that it was his suffering, not hers, that had been killing him. Knowing Josselyn, feeling her grief, so real and unsuppressed, made him find his. She awakened a deep part of his soul, a part of him he’d thought long dead. After his homeland was destroyed and his parents lost, he’d focused on taking care of his sister. After his sister died, he’d turned his attention to nursing Samantha back to health. By the time she recovered and they’d gathered the rest of the crew, he’d pushed a part of himself down deep. Josselyn didn’t almost kill him with her past. It was his own emotional dam breaking which did it to him.

  “Aaah.”

  Evan’s head snapped up, breathing hard. “Josselyn?”

  “Evan.”

  Unable to believe what he was hearing, he looked at the consul. A full scan ran, unlike before when it just shut off. His eyes wide, he looked at the booth. Josselyn blinked rapidly.

  “Evan,” she said again, this time louder. “Evan, are you there? I can’t see you.”

  “I’m here.” He pushed past his pain, forgetting his sorrow as he went to her. Maybe he was dead. Maybe he was crazy. He didn’t care either way. She was awake and she was calling his name. “I’m here.”

  “I thought I lost you,” she whispered, gazing up at him. She didn’t move within the booth and he saw the soft green light from the laser illuminating her face.

  Evan gave a surprised laugh. “You thought you lost me?” He touched her face, tilting it fully towards him. “I lost you. You were dead.”

  “I know.”

  “Then how?” He ran his thumb over her lips, feeling her breath against the digit.

  “My family helped me come back.” Her eyes slowly focused on him, as if finally seeing him.

  “For how long?” Evan leaned closer, almost too afraid to blink. He kept his voice soft. “I can’t lose you again. Please stay with me.” A hot tear streamed over his cheek. “I love you, Josselyn. Don’t leave me again.”

  A shaking hand brushed the tear away. “Why would I leave? I came back for the chance of you.”

  Her eyes shone in a way that he’d never seen and when she smiled, he felt the light inside of her. There was hope and happiness and a tiny fear that had nothing to do with loss. And then warmth washed over him. Her love bathed him, filling him and giving him a peace unlike nothing he’d ever felt in his life. She didn’t have to say the words. He heard her heart. It called to his.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” she said, the grain of fear inside her growing. “If my nearness causes you harm, I’ll leave. I won’t have another death on my hands.”

  “You didn’t kill Jack. I did. I shot him. I knew you were dying, saw it in your future and I couldn’t let you carry that burden.”

  “You knew I was dying and you came anyway? You killed Jack. You risked your life, your freedom. Why?”

  “You do something to me, Josselyn.” He touched his nose to hers lightly.

  “I know, I make you forget yourself.” She chuckled softly.

  “No, you made me find myself.” He craned his neck, unable to keep from kissing her. It was too hard to hold the position with her in the booth. “You won’t hurt me with how you feel so don’t hide from me. I was hurting myself. You saved me. I was hiding in a shell, too afraid to face memories because they were painful. The past built inside me and I kept pushing it down until finally it exploded.”

  “Get me out of here.” Josselyn smiled and he basked in the expression. The stress around her eyes was gone. He’d never noticed it before but now that it was no longer marring her features, the brilliance of her moved him.

  “Let the medical unit finish. I’m not risking you again.” Evan smiled, content for the moment just to be with her.

  “Evan? Who are you talking to?” Mei’s voice broke into the spell between them. “I’ve come to bring you to your room. You’ve been in here for hours. Please, Evan. Come away.”

  “Never,” he said.

  “Hello, Mei,” Josselyn said.

  “What?” Mei gasped. Halted steps sounded behind him, but he didn’t turn. “Blessed ancestors, how?”

  “Love sometimes beats death,” Josselyn answered. “And I love you, Evan.”

  “I’ll tell the others.” Mei still sounded stunned. “I’m, ah, glad you’re all right.”

  Josselyn smiled, not looking away from him. Evan cupped her cheek, holding her the best he could. Joy flooded him. When they were alone, she said, “I didn’t think it would be this easy.”

  “Easy?” He chuckled. “You were in stone for a hundred years. You came back from the dead. I wouldn’t call that easy.”

  “I meant finding out if you returned my feelings. None of the rest matters.” She touched his cheek. “Since I can’t come out of this contraption and show my love for you properly, why don’t you tell me how you found me? Violette’s ship didn’t detect that we were followed. How did you know?”

  “We followed. The others knew you wouldn’t trust them
completely and with me sick, they thought it best for you to get another ride. Mei slipped a tracking device on you. I guess she said you two fought? Then Jarek led you to your family jewels so you could find them.”

  Her expression fell, as the green glow continued to cast her features. “You’re pirates, aren’t you?”

  “We scavenge to make a living. Pirates are too confrontational. We tend to stay off other’s radars when we can. Does that disappoint you?”

  “Not as much as it should. How did they know I’d go for Jack?”

  “That was the easy part. We all understand vengeance. We knew what you were going through. After Rick took you to the bar on the Zibi Fueling Docks, he paid Captain Violette for her services and for her silence. She took you to Rifflen.” Evan told her everything in full detail.

  Josselyn nodded, proceeding to tell him what happened to her—of Jack’s words and deeds, of her mother’s life and death. Tears swam in her gaze, but Evan knew she told him everything, even the painful. Then she told him of her death, of seeing her family, and he knew she believed that. He wanted to believe her, although death and life were such tricky things. Her idea of the afterlife gave hope and he didn’t take that from her with his doubts.

  “I have a sister. Jack and my mother,” Josselyn finished.

  “I know.”

  “How?” She arched a brow. The medical booth beeped and shut off.

  Evan crossed to the consul and pushed a couple buttons, looking over her results. She was perfectly healthy. “I believe the general sent Violette to pick you up. It was strange lucky that was who Rick found to take you to Rifflen. The general made her promise that when the time came for you to visit him, she would not interfere.”

  “Why would she?” Josselyn asked, pushing out of the medical unit to stand on her own. She crossed to him, her head tilted quizzically to the side.

  “Violette is your sister.”