The Handyman's Summer

by Nick Poff

  “I separated their food and their litter boxes, installed the cats at opposite ends of the house, and hoped for the best.”

  “And?”

  “There was snarling and hissing when they accidentally met on the stairs, but no real violence. Eventually they got used to each other.”

  Paul chuckled. “Well, I suppose we can’t hope for much more than that right now. Still, if anyone ends up needing medical attention, give me a call.”

  That same day Ed went downtown to make a bank deposit and ran into Phil Sturgis. Pastor Phil – lithe, handsome and somewhat unorthodox in his Christian faith – was a friend and trusted ally.

  “How are you holding up with Neal camping out at your place?” He asked with the perpetual twinkle in his eye.

  “Rocky these days,” Ed grimly replied.

  “Oh? What’s he done?”

  “It’s what we did.” Ed explained the current drama at Penfield Manor.

  When he had heard the whole story Phil sighed and rolled his eyes heavenward. “And there are those who wonder why I pray so much.”

  Ed managed a rueful laugh. “Well, the next time you’re on your knees send up a big fat one for an extra shot of strength for me. And Rick. And Effie Maude.”

  “Will do,” Phil promised. “And listen, if you need or want any guidance with this Rex don’t hesitate to call. I can only imagine what he must be feeling.”

  “Will do,” Ed echoed. “When I think about what those boys did…”

  “I know,” Phil said softly. “Sometimes the hardest part of my job is dealing with human cruelty and its aftermath. It’s almost always instigated by fear. I wonder if we will ever evolve out of that instinct.”

  “Leave me alone,” Ed murmured.

  “Hmm?”

  “Oh, that seems to be the theme of this summer for us,” Ed explained, “people who are different just wanting to be left alone and accepted for what they are.”

  “Interesting,” Phil said thoughtfully. “I think I smell a sermon coming on.”

  “Yeah? Well, don’t forget to change the names to protect the innocent.”

  By Saturday morning Ed’s patience had worn as thin as he was willing to endure. “I am,” he announced to Rick after breakfast, “making my special lasagna for dinner tonight. Every member of this household will be required to be at the table at six sharp or they will be served cat food.”

  Rick looked worried. “I’m going to be out in the Camaro all afternoon with some Kelsey-Daniel clients, showing them how marvelous Porterfield is.” Rick had discovered the added bonus of owning a classic convertible was how much it impressed clients.

  “Keep an eye on your watch,” Ed said ominously. “Or it’s Meow Mix for you tonight.”

  Rick shook his head. “You can be a hard man, Ed Stephens.”

  “I know. Just be home in time for dinner if you want me to be hard where it counts later.”

  ###

  Ed was happily at work on one of his favorite meals that afternoon. Neither Rex nor Neal had openly rebelled at his dinner edict, but Ed wasn’t at all sure Neal would return after work. He seemed to have an endless supply of reasons to avoid coming home these days. Ed was already mentally envisioning a bowl of cat food at Neal’s place at the table.

  Rex, on the other hand, had not left the house since he arrived. His only request had been for a pack of cigarettes, which Ed fulfilled, as it didn’t seem to be a particularly good time for a lecture on the evils of tobacco use. Rex thoughtfully smoked on the front porch and in the garden. Otherwise he spent most of his time in his room. He claimed the pills Paul had given him for pain put him to sleep.

  He did come downstairs each day for All My Children, the soap opera of choice at Penfield Manor. Ed and Effie Maude were both surprised to find out he also watched the program on a regular basis, and felt the same way they did about the possibility of Brooke marrying Adam Chandler. “That girl has plumb lost her good sense,” Effie Maude grumbled during each episode, cheering on Phoebe when she tried to convince Brooke she was making a mistake. (Brooke was a special favorite of Ed and Effie Maude as the actress who played her, Julia Barr, had grown up in Fort Wayne.) Rex always agreed, remarking that he’d marry Adam’s mentally challenged twin brother before he’d ever consider marrying Adam. Rex could not have a chosen a quicker path into Effie Maude’s heart. She was already spoiling him as much as she did the other “kids” as she called anyone who Ed or Rick brought home for her special kind of mothering.

  While Ed was removing bottles from the spice rack Rex tentatively opened the swinging kitchen door. “Can I help?” He asked.

  Ed looked down. The cats were both underfoot, and he’d already managed to trip over Jett. “You can feed these monsters,” he said. “They’ve apparently decided it’s their suppertime. The cans are on the shelf above their dishes in the laundry room. They each get one.”

  Rex nodded. He grabbed two cans of Friskies and made for the electric can opener on the kitchen counter. He returned to the laundry room with two open cans and a spoon, clucking at the cats, both of whom trotted eagerly after him.

  Ed heard the back door quietly open and shut. Neal apprehensively entered the kitchen just as Rex walked out of the laundry room with the empty cans in his hands. They all but banged into each other in front of the kitchen table. They both looked surprised and uncomfortable. Ed carefully put the oregano on the counter and held his breath.

  Neal couldn’t take his eyes of Rex’s still bruised and puffy face, as though he somehow couldn’t quite comprehend the reality of the injuries with what he had been told.

  Rex’s eyes went to the floor. “I hope you’ll let me make it up to you… you know, for being so rotten. The dumb thing is I really wanted to be your friend, but I was afraid.”

  Neal nodded as though he had barely heard Rex’s words. His eyes traveled from Rex’s face to his chest, which was partially exposed by an over-sized white button down shirt Ed had loaned him to wear as it didn’t irritate his wounds. “What did they do to you?” Neal whispered as he took in the scabs forming at the top of the F and the A on Rex’s chest.

  Rex undid the remaining buttons on the shirt so Neal could see the whole thing. It was actually more visible now than when Ed had first seen it due to the scabbing. Neal gasped. “Oh, my God,” he said quietly. He looked into Rex’s eyes. Their eyes held for a moment, and then Neal moved forward and put his arms around Rex, who put his shaking arms around Neal.

  Ed, who was already in shock over Neal’s impromptu hug, was even more taken aback when they both burst into tears. They held each other close, sobbing, and Ed fancied he saw years of sadness, hurt, loneliness and resentment puddling at their feet.

  He also heaved a huge sigh as the tension over Penfield Manor broke and floated away.

  ###

  Rick hurried into the dining room at two minutes of six. Ed smirked as he exchanged the cat bowl at Rick’s place with a Havilland china plate reserved for special occasions. In his mind it was a very special occasion.

  Neal and Rex, both seated, giggled. Rick looked from one to other in surprise. “We’re good,” Neal said with a shrug.

  Rick shook his head. “I’m too hungry right now to be anything but grateful.”

  Ed handed him the salad tongs. “Rough day in the convertible, dear?”

  “Let’s just say I’m glad the gas I burned is tax deductible.” He helped himself to salad. “And tomorrow afternoon I’ve got an open house. Some weekend, huh?”

  “That sucks,” Ed said, passing the garlic bread. “Gordy and Pete are coming down tomorrow to see Gordy’s parents, and they said they’d stop over here for a while.”

  “That figures,” Rick grumbled.

  “Well, let’s plan something that includes you,” Ed suggested. “Why don’t we plan on all of us piling into the convertible and going somewhere nice for dinner and let someone else do the cooking and serving and cleaning for a change.”

  “Wow,” Neal sai
d, looking up from his salad. “That would be awesome after another day of serving soda slush to a bunch of obnoxious people.”

  “Rex?” Ed asked “Do you think you’d be up to that?”

  “Well,” said Rex, looking a bit sheepish, “I guess if I have you guys to protect me I’ll be okay.”

  “Good,” Rick said, smiling at him. “Why don’t we go to that fancy steak place on the outskirts of Crestland that your uncle Chester is always raving about? We’d get a good meal and a road trip.”

  “Are you sure you’ll be up to that after spending all afternoon trying to unload that dud of a house on Pine Street?” Ed teased.

  “If you drive, baby, and I get to ride shotgun.”

  Neal looked at Rex. “That means we get stuck with the back seat, like we’re their kids.”

  “There are worse fates.” Rick glared at him.

  “Yeah,” added Ed. “And the first one who says ‘are we there yet?’ will get it, right across the head.”

  The relaxed banter continued through the meal. Ed was thrilled to see the easy give-and-take between Neal and Rex. He smiled to himself, thinking that it rather did feel as though he and Rick were parents having dinner with their teenage sons.

  Ed shoved the lasagna dish toward Neal a second time and he waved it away with a sigh. “It’s so good, but I’ve had enough. Did I tell you I finally signed up at Apex Gym downtown? Now I just have to make myself go.”

  Rex grinned at him. “That’s it! That’s how I can make it up to you for being such a dick.”

  “How?”

  Rex made a face. “That Greg, the personal trainer at Apex, is more concerned with watching himself in the mirrors and hitting on the women to be a good trainer. I can teach you how to use the machines and the weights and together we can come up with a good routine for you.”

  “You’d do that for me?”

  “Sure! I’d like to do it.”

  Neal offered his hand across the table. “Deal.”

  Rex shook his hand with a broad smile. Ed felt as though he were watching a cocoon open. After years of hiding behind false bravado and hetero machismo the real Rex seemed to be emerging.

  “I hate to interrupt the good vibrations with ugly reality,” Rick said gingerly, “but I stopped to get my clients some coffee today at the Porterfield Pit Stop. I’m guessing that beat up Firebird in the back is yours. Have you thought about either your job or your car?”

  Rex slumped in his chair. “I already called that dork Jason and quit. I hated that job and I didn’t really like him either. Besides, I was going to look for a permanent job now that I’m out of school.”

  “And the car?”

  Rex shrugged. “Tell him to have it towed for junk.”

  “That sounds a little extreme,” Ed said, sure Rex would live to regret that decision. “How ‘bout we tow it here until you decide what you want to do?”

  “I don’t want you guys to have to pay for that,” Rex protested.

  “Oh, we won’t,” Ed said smugly, thinking of Gordy’s planned visit with Pete, who happened to be co-owner of a towing company. “We’ve got connections in the towing business.”

  After the dessert of fresh raspberries and whipped cream had been enjoyed by all, Ed sent a critical look around the table. “I think Rick will help with the cleanup.” He nodded at Rex and Neal. “I think you two have done enough hard work for one day.”

  Rick groaned while the other two laughed. “Let’s get out of here before he changes his mind,” Neal said to Rex.

  “Hey, I know,” Rex said as they got up from their chairs. “Let’s go to my room and I’ll show you some stretching moves to help you work out.”

  “Okay, but let’s go to my room and crank the stereo. I’ve got the new Heart CD.”

  “Cool!”

  Rick began to gather the dessert plates. He grinned at Ed. “Well, June, are you worried about Wally and the Beaver?”

  Ed got up and hugged him. “No, Ward. Not anymore.”

  ###

  While Rick ran water in the sink for the dishes Ed called Gordy. “Bro!” he exclaimed when he answered the phone. “You’re not cancelling on us, are you?”

  “Nope,” Ed said. “I’m calling to ask a favor. I need a car towed.”

  He explain why and everything that had gone down that week.

  “For cryin’ out loud, Ed,” he said when Ed was finished. “What are you trying to do, start Uncle Ed’s Home for Wayward Homos?”

  “We took you in, didn’t we?” Ed teased.

  “That was low, man,” Gordy said, phonily offended. “Besides, I’m a happily married man now. I don’t need any more rehabilitation.”

  “Says you.”

  “So listen, why did you take in this Rex character anyway? Seriously, don’t you have enough going on already?”

  Ed had hoped to avoid going into serious detail about Rex’s troubles; he knew how Gordy would react. Ed sighed. “He was queer bashed, but good. They even wrote “fag” on his chest with a knife.”

  There was an extended silence. “Gord? You still there?”

  “I’m here. Who did it?”

  “Even if I knew their names I wouldn’t tell you. Despite all of your shenanigans I’ve never had to bail you out of jail, and I don’t plan to start now.”

  “Mother-fuckers!”

  “I know. I’ve had four days to get used to it and I’m still ready to kill. Listen, you think you can calm down before tomorrow? The kid needs friends right now, not vigilantes.”

  Rick drying his hands, grabbed for the phone. “This’ll cheer you up, Gord. I won’t be here. I’ve got an open house.”

  Ed heard Gordy squawking over the phone while Rick grinned. “Yeah, I know. Fuck you too, bro. I love you, too. What do you say to that?”

  Ed couldn’t hear what Gordy said, but whatever it was sent Rick into a roar of laughter.

  “Damn!” Rick exclaimed when they’d all said their good-byes and hung up. “I wish I could get out of that open house tomorrow.”

  “Why?”

  Rick grinned. “I think hanging out with Gordy will do more for Rex than any of those antibiotics he’s on.”

  He was right. When Gordy and Pete arrived in the tow truck the next day with Rex’s car, Gordy was out of the truck and getting acquainted with Rex before Pete could even ask Ed what to do with the car. Ed saw them go into the rose arbor and heard the scrape of Gordy’s lighter and laughter.

  Ed and Pete looked at each other. “You know I love your husband,” Ed said. “But how do you put up with him all the time?”

  Pete’s eyes glowed about his scruffy brown beard. “It’s easier than it looks,” he said. “Now, where am I gonna put this car? It’s getting kinda crowded here.”

  “Can you put it in front of the garage space with Rick’s Regal? I doubt he’ll be driving it until we store the Camaro for the winter.”

  Pete nodded and got to work. Ed knew he’d only be in the way so he wandered over to the rose arbor. He had to smile when he saw the way Rex was looking at Gordy. Ed knew Rex was sincerely grateful for everything Ed and Rick were doing for him, but in Gordy he’d obviously found a potential role model. Ed could not have been happier.

  “I approve,” Gordy said when Ed sat next to him. “I think you’re safe having this asshole in the house.”

  “Oh gee, I feel all kinds of better,” Ed said, rolling his eyes. “Be still my heart. The Gordon Smith seal of approval!”

  “You’re a lucky man,” Gordy said comfortably. “Say, where’s your other project?”

  “Neal’s at work. He’s taken all the hours the owner will give him at The Iceberg.”

  Gordy frowned. “He still being a dork about college?”

  “Yeah, but now that he’s got a guy friend his own age,” Ed said, glancing at Rex, “I’m hoping he’ll get to see things in the right perspective again.”

  “I’m going to start training Neal at Apex this week,” Rex said confidently. “When I get
done with him he’ll be the hottest guy in Bloomington.”

  Gordy’s eyebrows rose. “I knew I liked this kid.”

  Rex smiled. Ed was amazed. The Rex sitting in the arbor today was a one hundred eighty degree change from the jerk Ed had seen that day at The Iceberg. To say it was an improvement was an understatement.

  “Okay,” Gordy said, stubbing out his cigarette. “Next question. How’s it goin’ with Evie’s place?”

  “Good,” Ed was happy to say. “I’ve dealt with most of her pack rat junk and I think we’re ready to talk carpet, and maybe some new tile for the kitchen and bathrooms.”

  “I can help with that,” Rex said.

  Ed turned to him surprise. “My dad’s a floor installer for Carpet Kings,” he explained. “He taught me everything, thinking he could get me a job with them.” His face darkened. “That ain’t gonna happen. I’d love to help you guys, though. It would make me feel better about living here.”

  Gordy looked at Ed. “I really like this kid.”

  “Keep it up,” Ed smirked at Rex, “and you’ll be number one with a bullet on Gord’s cool list.”

  “Hey! Short of getting to fuck the guy who plays Dex on ‘Dynasty’, can you think of a better goal in life?”

  “I’d rather fuck Jeff,” Rex admitted with a bashful grin. Ed doubted he’d ever said such a thing out loud before.

  “Jeff!” Gordy rolled his eyes.

  “Dude, I think you just peaked at number two on his cool list,” Ed said to Rex.

  “I’d like to think,” Pete said as he joined them, “that I’ve got the number one slot nailed down.”

  Gordy pulled Pete into his lap. “As long as you keep puttin’ out on a regular basis, it’s all yours.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Pete said. “Just for that you’re getting some rose arbor noogies, mister!”

  “Oww! Augh!” Gordy moaned and thrashed as Pete knuckle-rubbed his blond head. “Spouse abuse, spouse abuse!”

  Ed laughed. Gordy and Pete, both big and bearded, always made him think of two lumberjacks at play. The sight of two men roughhousing together, obviously comfortable with their sexual orientation, was always a welcome sight to his eyes, and he could tell it was a wonderful revelation for Rex.