My Lover's Resolve

by Rosa Swann

  Oh, my love. My beautiful mate.

  I look him over, at how his body is all flushed, at how sexy he looks, how fuckable he looks. And it’s all for me, he’s like this all for me. Mine.

  Kneeling between his legs, I push them apart more and reach out to his entrance again, slipping the tip of one finger in. He’s so hot and slippery and his whimpering gets needier. Oh, fuck. The sounds eat away at my resolve, at my ability to control myself, and I grab my cock with one hand as I lean over him.

  He wraps his legs around my hips. His eyes as he looks up at me are filled with so many emotions that I can’t read them, but most of all, they’re filled with a desperate need. A desperate need for something only I can give him right now.

  I kiss him again as I put my cock at his entrance, sure that I should have prepared him more, or better, or whatever, but my mind is only filled with one thing now, mating Seb. Mating Seb and making him mine.

  His eyes go wide as I slowly push against his entrance, the head of my cock slipping inside a little and he lets out a sound between a moan and groan. Then he relaxes around me and reaches for me, pulling me closer.

  My cock slides into him a little further and the heat inside him is so good, more than I ever thought could exist. Oh, fuck, wow... Oh, fuck...

  I close my eyes tightly, forcing myself not to come yet, not yet. I have to hold on a little longer, just a little longer.

  I slowly roll my hips, wrapping my arms around Seb, pulling him against me tightly. It’s like we’re all wrapped around each other, like we’re trying to disappear into each other, like we’re trying to become one, and, in a way, we are. We are trying to become one. One mated pair, becoming a bonded mated pair.

  With each roll of my hips, electricity shoots down my spine, and in my arms, Seb is letting out sounds, moans, his whole body covered in a thin layer of sweat, our bodies slippery.

  When I went over to Seb’s place yesterday, this was not what I had in mind. We were trying to avoid doing anything that could put our futures in danger, and now we’re doing exactly what we were trying to avoid.

  Once I’ve marked and mated him, there won’t be different futures for us anymore, only one. We’ll be bound together, forever. We’ll have to make some hard choices...

  A small voice tells me that I could have walked away when Seb told me to, but I already know that as soon as his heat came on, that had become impossible. Once his heat came on, this was the only outcome. We both knew it, no matter how we tried to convince ourselves that we still had a choice, we both knew that we didn’t have one. Not anymore.

  Chapter Eight

  Seb

  It’s like my whole body is on fire. Not a bad fire, but one that overtakes me and leaves me changed. Different from before, when the heat came on, not burning me up, but shaping me into a new form, into a new being.

  Destin’s muscled body hovers over me, holding me against him tightly, like I’m the most precious thing in the world. It feels so good, it feels like the best thing I’ve ever felt. I’ve never felt this protected, this loved, before, and while I know that it’s in large part because of the heat, I don’t care. The feelings are real and that’s all that matters.

  I give into the sensations. The way our skin slides together, the way our breathing comes out hard. The way I can feel my orgasm edge closer and closer, but still at a distance, still just out of reach. It’s like a tease, a frustration, something just out of reach, there but at the same time not.

  My hand slides down between us and I wrap my fingers around my dick. At the same time, Destin changes the angle of his hips, pulling me against him slightly differently and stars go off behind my eyes. Wow. Fuck.

  If he keeps going like this, I’m not going to last much longer. Which is good, but also a little sad. We’ve only got one first time together, and for it to be this desperate from my heat... I wish it could have been softer, more tender, but that’s not going to happen.

  I know that he didn’t like it when I told him to just get it over with. But with this tightness in me, this desperation from my heat, I can’t enjoy it as much as I would have liked to. So it’s better to just get it over with, to get my heat down and then really take the time we want to.

  I know that it sounds cold, but I’d rather spend the rest of the weekend enjoying ourselves to the fullest than having to stretch this painful tightness, this heat-induced desperation, for too long. My mind is way too clouded to really be aware of what’s going on anyway, and I don’t like that feeling, at all. I like to be in control and that means knowing what’s going on.

  “Seb.” Destin’s voice is rough, close to my shoulder and I feel his lips on my skin. A shudder goes through me and as more stars go off behind my eyes, I realise what’s going to happen. What’s going to happen next...

  Instead of the fear I thought I’d feel, the opposite happens. I relax in his arms, I relax against him and move my head to the side so he’s got better access to my neck.

  My heart races, my whole body primed for what’s about to happen. My orgasm is so close to the surface, and that combined with my heat, I only want one thing. Yes. Please. More than anything, yes.

  “Almost,” he whispers and while he plays over my skin with his lips, his hips move faster now, less controlled.

  My hand keeps moving up and down my dick, and with the triple sensation, the anticipation of the mark, his cock inside me, and my fingers around myself, I start to lose track of what’s going on. I’m going up in the sensations, giving into it all. Oh, this is good, so good.

  Then, almost like it’s out of nowhere, I come. My whole body tightens, tenses, as my mind goes blank for a moment. It’s like the world stops existing, like we’re the only two people alive, and it’s perfect.

  “Fuuuuck.” Destin’s arm around me tightens more, his lips and then his teeth catching onto a section of very sensitive skin on my neck, and his cock inside me grows.

  My orgasm seems to overwhelm me another time as Destin’s cock pulses inside me, coating my insides, filling me, and I gasp, trying to hold onto him, not able to do anything else.

  Then I feel it, the moment his teeth break through my skin. Marking me.

  I lose myself in the sensations, my orgasm, the marking, becoming one with Destin. Yes. This is right. This is how it’s supposed to be. This is how we’re supposed to be.

  Whatever happens next will happen. This is how it was supposed to be. Destin is my Alpha mate, this is what I need from him.

  This is how we’re supposed to be...

  “Let me look at that.” Destin holds up a wet cloth as he comes over, making the bed dip as he sits next to me.

  I hiss at the movement and roll onto my side so he can clean the area of the mark. The high that I felt when he marked me was pretty quickly followed by a very deep low as I had no idea how we were going to do this, what our futures would look like. Destin held me tightly until I calmed down a little, and then he went to the bathroom to get the wet cloth.

  “I’m sorry.” He slides the cloth over my skin and I wince. “That’s a bad place for a mark.”

  “At least it won’t be visible when I wear a shirt.” The mark is almost in the middle of my shoulder, on the muscle that goes from my neck to my shoulder, right in the middle.

  “But you’ll have trouble moving your arm for the time being and you probably won’t be able to wear a backpack for a while...” He puts the cloth over the mark and then slides his hand over my arm, down my side. “How are you feeling otherwise. Any other pain?”

  I shake my head but quickly stop when it agitates my neck. “I don’t think so. Please...” I reach out to him. “Just hold me.” If he holds me, the panic in my head manages to stay away, at least a little.

  “Of course.” He slides onto the bed behind me and spoons me, his arm around me, and I relax into him. “Anything for you.” He kisses the back of my head.

  Tears threaten to spill again, but I ignore them. No. No more crying. I just have to rel
ax a little while, let the pain of the mark pass, and then we can just be together for the rest of the weekend.

  Yes. That’s what we’re going to do. Once the pain passes, we can have some relaxed sex, really explore each other. Actually be tender with each other, not be driven as much by this animalistic need inside us.

  We’ll keep making love all weekend. Constantly touching, holding each other, giving each other pleasure. Because if we don’t... I don’t know if I can hold myself together. If I let my mind wander even a little, bad thoughts pop up and I don’t want that. I don’t want to have to think of this panic slowly winding around my heart, getting stronger by the second.

  “I love you,” Destin whispers, taking my hand in his. “I’ll do anything for you. I’ll do whatever you want me to. We will make this work.”

  “Hmm.” I don’t nod, that hurts, but no matter how well he means it, I know that it’s not going to be as easy as that. “Someone will have to know. I can’t go to class when I’m in heat...”

  “I know.” He sighs. “Maybe I should—”

  “You’re not going to call in sick.” I quickly cut his words off. “That will be suspicious. Everyone will start wondering what the fuck is going on if you do that. Mia can look after me. She’s my housemate and she’s done it before when I went into heat a few months back.”

  “And you’ll get Mia on board, how?” I can almost feel the way he’s looking at me suspiciously.

  “I’ll find a way.” I have no clue how yet, but I’ll come up with something. Mia might be on my ass about taking care of myself and putting myself before anything else, but she does it out of love. She’ll help me, it’s just a question of if I want to deal with the conditions she’ll have.

  “If you’re sure...” But from his voice, he doesn’t seem totally convinced.

  “I’m sure.” I pull him closer. “For now, let’s relax.”

  I don’t know what else to do. We’re going to have to do a lot of things in a short time, we’re going to have to make a lot of changes in a short time, and I’m exhausted enough as it is... Our lives will never be the same again. The question is how much control we’ll have over what happens, now and in the coming months.

  Somewhere, I have a feeling that we’re not going to have much control over these changes and that makes me sad.

  “Seb?” Destin’s voice is low, but I shake my head carefully, pulling his arm around me tighter. I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to think. I just want to disappear for a while. He softly nuzzles the back of my head, his breathing slowing down.

  What did we just get ourselves into? What did we do?

  I had plans. I had so many plans for my future. I had so many things I wanted to do. I wanted to finish my degree before I got marked. I wanted to get a job. I wanted to have a life, to have a stable living situation, before I got marked, mated... Pregnant...

  For the last two weeks, in the rare moments when I wasn’t dreaming of how Destin was going to swoop in and make it all better, I dreamed of how Destin and I would try to stay away from each other, stay sensible about our mating, about knowing that we’re fated to be together.

  In those dreams, I’d finish my degree and Destin would climb up the ladder at his daddy’s company. Only after that, we’d start looking at houses. We’d start looking at where we’d want to live, all of that. Do things in a sensible time-schedule.

  Not, not this.

  I know that my Beta mother had me before she even finished high school. So, I’ve at least got that going for me. But hearing the stories of how it was too hard for her to be so young and have a kid and a job, all at the same time, without any proper education, that that was why she left me with Daddy. And how even he struggled so much at first.

  If taking care of a baby was so hard for someone like Daddy, who had a degree, a stable job and an Alpha with a really good job, how are Destin and I going to manage? How are we going to do this? Not just how our lives will change, now and when the baby is here, but how are we going to run a house, how are we going to manage living as a family when we’re still so young?

  I’m scared...

  Chapter Nine

  Destin

  I stare at Seb, who’s fast asleep, all curled up under the blankets, like he’s a little kid, his hair spread out around his head, almost making him look like an angel. Slowly, I reach out, sliding my fingers over his cheek, needing to touch him, though not wanting to wake him. He looks so beautiful and my heart flutters every time I look at him.

  Last month, I would not have thought that I’d ever react to him like this, this need, this desperate need I have for him. But at the same time, it feels like the most natural thing in the world, like this was always meant to happen, we just didn’t know it yet.

  Letting out a slow breath, I get up and make my way to the living area of the bungalow. I don’t know what to do, but I do know that I need to do something. I can’t sit still, there’s a nervous energy inside me that won’t go away, that just won’t settle down.

  I open Seb’s laptop on the table and sit down, staring at his background, a picture of us from last summer. Seb and me in the middle, our siblings and his cousins around us. We all look so happy, so carefree. How our lives have changed since that picture was taken. It’s hard to believe it was only taken a few days before Seb and Mia left to go to university, not even three months ago...

  Opening a browser, I navigate to a website that lists houses to buy and rent, and fill out the details I now know from the top of my head. How much I can afford to pay for a house, where I want to live, how far I’m willing to travel. When I put in the details, no new places show up since I looked at it two days ago. Bummer.

  For the last two weeks, I’ve put in these same numbers and looked at the results every few days, just to get an idea of what I would be able to afford. Just to get an idea of what I should expect when we were ready to move into our own place.

  I never expected that I’d have to actually look at the places more seriously so soon. No longer a dream for the far-future, but the reality of where we could be living in the near-future. I know that the places that show up are all fine, they’re not big, just two small bedrooms, and most of them are apartments at the edge of the city. No houses, which I’d prefer.

  Then I open a new tab and instead start looking at jobs that I could apply for if I moved to the city where Seb is going to university right now. If I can just move there, if I can get a job and a house near the city, then he’ll still be able to go to university. Daddy’s company will still be there in four years, once Seb has finished his degree, but if I move to where he is, then maybe he won’t have to give up on his dream of getting a degree. Maybe one of us won’t have to give up on our dreams...

  I don’t want Seb to have to give up on his dream. He was so happy, so proud to get into university, I don’t want to mess that up. I’ll do anything to make sure that he can fulfil his dream, no matter what it takes.

  Mia is standing in the middle of the living area of the bungalow, her gaze filled with fury and disgust as she looks at me. I almost cower. She scares me. Not because I’m scared she’ll beat me up or anything, but because I promised her I’d never hurt Seb, and now I have...

  “Please?” Seb is standing to the side, looking uncomfortable, his cheeks flushed, and I can smell how his heat is getting stronger again. “Please, help us? I’ll do anything you want, if you’ll just keep this to yourself for a few weeks and let us come up with our own plan before we tell our parents.”

  “Seb...” Her eyes soften as she looks at him and sighs. She’s got a soft spot for him, no matter how pushy she is, she does it because she loves him. “They’re going to figure it out soon enough. Why not get it over with?”

  I open my mouth, trying to answer her, but nothing comes out.

  She looks at me, shaking her head angrily, and turns around, going over to one of the windows that looks out over the fields and forest behind the bungalow park. “What are your plans?
” That sounds almost like she’s willing to help, giving me a spark of hope.

  “I’m going to work my ass off, get a better-paying job, get us a place to live. I just need some time to come up with a fully-formed plan before we tell our parents.” I push the words out as quickly as possible, not wanting to be interrupted.

  Seb did not like it when he found me looking at jobs and houses near his university, since it would mean a significant cut in income for me. He told me that if anyone was going to move, it would be him. That it didn’t make sense for me to give up on the great job I have right now to live in poverty for years, just so he could still attend university.

  He insisted that he was going to drop out of university and move back home, so that we’d not be on our own, we’d be surrounded by family who could help out when we needed them. He was just going to have to apply for university again once we were in a better place financially and our kid was old enough to go to school or something like that. It sounded sensible, but I’m not giving up. If there’s a way to make sure he stays at university through this all, then I’m going to find it.

  “You think that they’re going to be okay with all of this when you have a plan?” Mia looks at me like she doesn’t really believe me, and I already know that she’s right. “What happens if they don’t like your plan?”

  Seb takes my hand, holding on tightly. “They’re not going to kick me out. They... They won’t. They wouldn’t do that...” His voice wobbles and his grip shakes.

  His grandparents basically kicked his Beta mother out when they found out she was pregnant, which is how she ended up living with his Omega daddy in the first place. My dad had just moved in with Daddy in the cottage where Daddy already lived, so Seb’s daddy and Beta mum moved into the apartment where Dad used to live. They would not do something like that to us, I’m pretty sure of that. Seb’s daddy still hasn’t forgiven his parents for what they did to Seb’s Beta mum when they found out she was pregnant, and that’s well over eighteen years ago now.