by E. J. Noyes
Cate touched the small of my back, her fingers gently massaging either side of my spine. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, Aspen.”
“No…I want to. I almost didn’t compete in the Super-G, you know? Came so close to talking myself out of it with what I then thought were selfish and childish thoughts, like I had a bronze and gold already from those Olympics. Silver and bronze back at home from Torino. All my other podium finishes and trophies, so what did I have to prove? Didn’t need another medal, really. I even thought about pretending to be injured. Then I remembered all the people who were relying on me to perform well. All the people I’d let down if I pulled out.”
Cate listened silently, stroking my back as I talked, still facing away from her. “I’ve watched it so many times and it’s funny because I can remember exactly what I was thinking. About dying and panic and pain. I thought they’d be so pissed at me holding everything up. And it went so quiet. Usually there was that awareness of people cheering and those damned cow bells ringing, but it was this ghostly silence.” I turned my head to the side to look at her. “When I landed, my face was right against the blue course-marking dye and my nose was dripping blood and my brain started this chant of USA! USA! Red, white ‘n’ blue! Such a stupid thought.”
“They usually are at times like that,” Cate murmured.
“Yeah.” As I spun around to face her, her hand slid from my back to rest on my hip.
“You’re scared now too.” She reached up and touched the edges of my mouth then brushed her fingertips across my lips. “I see it here, when you’re afraid.” Cate looked apprehensive and I could tell she was wondering if she’d overstepped.
She hadn’t. Somehow she’d seen what few people ever noticed. In the photo taken right before my life changed, the only part of my face clearly visible was my mouth. It was set in a tight line, the corners twisted down. “You’re one of only about five people who have ever said that. Everyone else says I look concentrated or determined. Fierce. Ready to win. All that bullshit.”
She glanced at the photo, then back to me and shook her head slowly. “No. I saw it the first time we skied together, and it’s there again now.”
The words pierced me, deep down where I held my secrets, and I wanted to rebut immediately but the response died on my tongue. Instead, I gave her my absolute truth. “I am. I’m scared of how much I want you. I’m scared because you’ll leave and I don’t know what will happen then.”
“Me too.” Her eyes left mine for a moment, then came back. There was the faintest tremor at the edge of her lower lip. “I’m scared of what will happen if we go further, and I’m scared that if we don’t, I’m going to regret it.”
“I know.” I took a tentative step closer, reaching for her.
“You’re the only one since…” She closed her eyes briefly, a hand coming to her temple as though pushing a memory away.
“Are you sure?” I asked quietly.
Cate nodded. “Yes, I’m sure. You make me feel safe. I trust you.” Behind her whispered confession was a hunger I’d not seen before. Then her mouth was on mine, tongue parting my lips and I couldn’t think of an answer. She stood on tiptoes, pressing herself to me, telling me what she wanted. Telling me what she needed. Her hands clutched my hair, tugging lightly and all I could think was how perfectly she fit, her body molded to mine. Sliding my hands around her waist, I kicked the bedroom door closed then pressed her gently toward the bed.
We helped each other out of our clothes, desperate but at the same time unhurried. When she pulled my bra off, her gaze lingered on my breasts, an accusatory gleam in her eyes. I raised a smug eyebrow but made no comment. Cate lightly traced the piercings through my nipples with a hum of satisfaction, then drew her hands up my chest and hooked a finger in the long chain around my neck.
“What’s this?” she asked, moving her hand back until the chain slid through her fingers and the rings were in her hand.
“My mom’s,” I explained, closing my hand around hers and taking a small step backward. I wanted to see all of her, to study every line and curve until they were seared into my brain.
Cate stood unashamedly as I took my time mapping her body, my eyes following the path of my fingers as they wandered over her soft skin, learning her. She was glorious unclothed, slender but unmistakably feminine with high firm breasts, and a neatly trimmed patch of hair at the junction of her thighs that begged to have my nose buried in it.
My throat tightened at the thought. “Cate, you’re so beautiful.”
She smiled, a triumphant glint in her eyes. Her breathing was short, eyes heavy with desire. “And you are so sexy I could almost come just looking at you.” She thumbed my nipples again, slowly spinning the bars. “I thought you meant a belly button piercing, or…” Hands went south, past my belly button, to check other parts of my anatomy.
I laughed softly. “Dead end down there. I was worried something would go wrong with that kind of piercing.”
She insisted on checking anyway, and I jolted when she made contact but she didn’t pull away. Her touch firm against my clitoris, Cate wrapped her other arm around my neck, pressing herself to me. “I’m glad,” she whispered in my ear before her tongue made its way over the lobe. “I’d hate for you to not be able to feel what I’m going to do to you.”
I turned my head and found her lips again, the kiss building until my legs began to shake from the effort of clamping down my arousal. I pulled her to the bed, laid her down and reveled in her. I explored every inch of her with my tongue, memorizing her landmarks until she was quivering underneath me. I quivered along with her as she begged me for more, to not stop, touch her there…please…please… I circled lightly over her clit, then dipped inside her.
Cate’s back arched, and she let out a long moan. “God. Wait. Please. Wait, I don’t want to come yet. Not before I’ve touched you.” She rolled me over, thigh gliding between mine like it belonged there. The pressure was exquisite against my need. We traded kisses—soft and sweet, hot and passionate. I’d been wet the moment she’d touched me earlier and now I was almost ready to explode.
We’d been skirting around this for days and all my control was slipping. I wanted to consume her and judging by her ferocity and vocalization, she felt the same. Cate sucked my nipple, using her teeth to tug gently on the bar. God, how did she know? The tingle spread from my nipples to my stomach and when she bit harder, my clit pulsed in time with the grating of her teeth. “Cate…”
“Mmm?” she mumbled around a mouthful of my breast.
“You have no idea what that does to me,” I breathed. She bit down again, and I bucked underneath her, twitching and panting.
“Actually, I think I have a pretty good idea.” She reached between us, fingers dancing over my skin, seeking me out. The first touch was light, barely skimming over my clit. The second was harder, but all too brief.
“Cate, I need more…please… I want to come.”
Instead of complying, she withdrew all contact from between my thighs and I buried my teeth in my hand in frustration. She moved to straddle me, still worshipping my breasts with her tongue and the frustration melted away. Arousal spread further, through every cell until I felt like my skin would catch fire.
It was clear she had no intention of letting me off the hook. Every attempt to twist so I could grind against something was met with disappointment, and then an amused chuckle from Cate. No more playing. When I wrapped my arms around her waist and sat up, the chuckle turned to a surprised gasp.
I tongued a stiff nipple, sucking gently and she grabbed the back of my neck, her nails scraping my skin. Cate took a fistful of my hair as she ground herself against me, her hot wet arousal painting my skin as she bucked, pleasuring herself. The throb in my clitoris built almost to breaking point. So close, but not yet…not yet.
Bending to drag teeth over her neck, I reached between us to lightly circle her clit, teasing her. Teasing myself. Cate groaned, and sucked
my ear. “Please,” she begged. “Fuck me. I want you to—”
I entered her in one smooth motion. She was so wet, my fingers were gliding effortlessly through her heat, discovering all her secrets. Slick with sweat, her breasts sliding against mine, she rode me hard with arms wrapped around my neck. Panting in my ear, begging me for more, nipping and sucking at my neck. Every sound and twitch she made added another layer to my spiraling arousal until pleasure shimmered down my legs, up my spine, through my stomach.
When I curled my fingers against her inner walls, Cate bit my shoulder. Hard. She was almost incoherent. “Oh God, I’m gonna come…I’m coming, don’t stop, please don’t…”
“No,” I rasped, withdrawing abruptly. “I want you in my mouth.” In her body I’d found the answers I’d been searching for and in her pleasure I would find my own. I wanted to taste her so badly. I had to taste her. She held onto me, face pressed to my neck and her legs wrapped around my waist as I tilted forward and lay her down. I slid down between her legs and spread her apart. Then I took her.
Cate cried out hoarsely at the first touch of my tongue and again when I delved deep inside her. She called my name over and over, the volume rising with each strangled word. I felt her grow and swell, her clit pulsing against my tongue as she arched off the bed, tightening around my fingers as she came in my mouth, with a hand clutching my hair. I lapped at her, riding the climax, enjoying her desire until she finally lay still, her breathing loud and erratic.
I rested my cheek against her belly, trying to catch my own breath. “God, you taste so good.” My voice sounded strange, like wind was rushing past my ears. Pressing kisses to her skin, I made my way back up her body to kiss her but Cate pulled me down first, ran her tongue over my lips and probed my mouth. Tasting herself on me. My stomach clenched hard, the pounding between my thighs unbearable. I could feel it, the edge of my orgasm hovering just out of reach and knew the moment she touched me, I would come.
She hooked her leg around the back of mine and rolled me over, settling on top of me again. For the longest time Cate did nothing but look down at me, and I had the sudden overwhelming feeling of being known. Of being seen and understood. My blinking felt too labored, too obvious. My breathing too shallow. I wasn’t afraid of being laid bare for her but I was afraid that she would be frightened by the intensity of my desire.
Her breasts rose and fell with each inhalation, her expression a mix of anticipation and something that seemed almost incredulous. I felt it mirrored on my own face, still not quite believing she was here. Even if only for today, she was mine. Teasing fingers over my stomach made me tense and twitch as they skimmed lower. So close to where I needed her to touch me, but still deliberately keeping away.
Cate’s lips moved and I barely caught the hoarse whispers of her desire. “God, your body is unbelievable.” Her tongue swept over her lower lip. “Can I taste you?”
My eyes said yes. She slid down between my thighs, pushed my legs apart and dove in. I couldn’t stop myself crying out at the first touch of her tongue to my clit and then again as she slid inside me. Cate reached up and spun a bar piercing my nipple and too quickly my climax came swift and hard, cresting the peak and then sending me down the other side.
Cate didn’t stop licking me, rather she pulled back to long, light strokes. With an unexpected rush, I came again, harder this time, fists clutching the sheets, her hair, anything I could grasp. My second climax spread molten through my limbs, leaving me to jerk and squirm under her touch.
When I could move again with purpose instead of reactively, I lifted my head to look at her. If I lived another hundred years, there still wouldn’t be enough time to tell her how I felt. I made a clumsy attempt, voice rough from crying out my pleasure. “Cate…you’re incredible.”
She smiled, kissing the inside of my thigh. “You’re only saying that because you just came.”
“Not true, though it was pretty spectacular. Both times.”
She shrugged but her expression was smug. I reached for her and she came back to me. Lying half-on and half-off me, Cate traced the outline of my tattoos—an eagle in flight about to snatch prey, spread below my left breast. Then there were the obligatory Olympic rings under my right armpit across my ribs. So sue me, I was barely twenty. Everyone was getting them tattooed somewhere and it seemed like a good idea.
Cate started again, lightly tracing my skin, her hand running down my leg. A soft, exploratory touch played over the scars on my knee and calf. She paused, stretching, but couldn’t go lower unless she moved. And I had a feeling she wouldn’t.
Chapter Twelve
In-my-bed-post-orgasm Cate was more beautiful than Skiing Cate, or Dinner-and-drinks Cate. Every so often she’d stretch languorously like she was rediscovering muscles long forgotten. The unconsciously erotic action sent a shiver of annoyance down my back but not because of anything she’d done—it was the prospect of her going unworshipped that was so unthinkable.
Eventually she settled against me, head on my shoulder and a casual arm across my hips. “What are you doing next Friday?”
Not quite a week away. I stroked the smooth skin of her back. “Work and then I don’t know. Why?”
“It’s my birthday.” She pulled a face. “We’re having a break from skiing, then if I know Mel and Dani, a huge dinner.” Her fingers began a leisurely path over my stomach. “I’d like it if you joined us.”
The appeal was undeniable but the idea of inserting myself into a family event felt too strange to accept. “That’s really sweet but it’s a family thing. It’d be a little, I don’t know…I’d feel intrusive?”
“Not for us, Aspen. But if you’re uncomfortable, I understand.”
I nodded slowly. “Maybe you could all come here for lunch or dinner before you leave?” I swallowed. “I mean, I know it’s weird but, I’d like to spend more time with you. And your daughter. And your friends.”
Cate’s hand played over my ribs, lightly teasing. She pulled herself closer, nudging her knee between mine. “Sure, that’d be great. I’ll ask them.”
I sucked in a sharp breath as her fingers brushed my nipple. “I don’t work Saturdays or Wednesdays,” I reminded her. “So either of those suits me.”
“I know you don’t.” She rolled on top of me, her body stretched along mine. I forgot everything I was going to say. Cate took my earlobe between her lips, tugging gently. I exhaled a groan when her tongue made a path to my lips.
Cate grunted as my leg came up between her thighs. “You know, it’s going to be very hard in public,” she said between kisses, “to pretend like I don’t want you to drag me out of sight and screw me senseless.”
I pressed more firmly with my leg and she let out a choked moan. The feeling of her seemingly endless want brought my own to the surface again. “Then don’t pretend. Let me push you up against a wall or bend you over a table.” I trailed kisses over her neck, punctuating each one with a teasing suggestion. “Let me touch you. Put my fingers inside you. Make you come. Flip you over and lick you…”
An inhalation caught loudly at the back of her throat. She kissed me fiercely, effectively stopping me from telling her everything I wanted to do to her. So I showed her instead.
For the rest of the day, we left my room only to eat a late lunch, standing in the kitchen, before we went back to bed for an afternoon of lazy lovemaking. I lay intertwined with her, in that gray area of never fully asleep but beyond wakefulness. It’d been so long since I shared a bed with anyone beyond sex, and I filed away every sensation. The way she felt in my arms. How she looked with the late afternoon light in her hair and making her eyelashes glow golden. Her scent and her taste. I closed my eyes and replayed every touch and look. Every one of her whispered pleas. Her hoarse cries of triumph and my own answering calls.
Light fingers traced my jaw. “You’re not sleeping are you?”
I smiled and opened my eyes. “No, just resting. What time is it?”
“Almost f
ive-fifteen.” She sighed. “It’s my turn to make dinner.”
“And you have to go,” I finished for her.
“Not by choice, let me assure you.” Cate kissed my nose and swung lithely from the bed to dress. I stayed where I was and marveled at the fact she even managed to make pulling jeans on instead of off look sexy. Reaching behind herself to fasten her bra, Cate’s eyes fixed on me. “I want more of this.”
It was such an unexpected declaration, I didn’t know what to say. Eventually I got out a dumb, “Sure.”
Cate adjusted the bra cups, settling her breasts into the red satin. I stared and Cate snapped her fingers teasingly. “Eyes up here, pal.”
“Yeah yeah,” I drawled, slipping out of bed. I found a shirt and pulled it over my head. Cate stared at my chest and raised an eyebrow.
I glanced down. The shirt was one my sister had printed for the Vancouver Games with “Double A! Double Gold!” emblazoned across the front. To my sister, the alliteration of my name was a slogan maker’s delight, and now more than ever I enjoyed the irony of wearing that shirt.
Cate’s tone turned serious. “I know it’ll take some shuffling of my vacation time, but I don’t want this to be all we have. I can’t let it be.” She bent to retrieve her sweater from where it’d fallen in our haste to get naked.
“It won’t be, if that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
Somehow, she’d reached in and found what I wanted—something more than just a casual screw here and there. Then she’d given me the choice of letting her keep it, or giving it back. The choice was as easy as breathing. I poured all my hopes and emotions into a single, “Okay.”
“Okay.” Her lips curved into a smile. “So we’re doing this?”
My own smile came freely. “We’re doing this.”
* * *
Being with Cate was like being caught up in a whirlwind of passion and excitement, and I let myself be carried along without an ounce of resistance. We found an easy routine—skiing for an hour or so after I’d finished work, then Cate would sneak out once Gemma had gone to bed, and sneak back after midnight, after a few hours in my bed.