Renee

by Brandie Davis

  Jared sat in the darkness of Renee’s downstairs living room, reliving the happiest moment of his life—when he slept with Renee. She had made his dream come true, only to take it away. Determined to get her attention and to show her that he loved her, he had killed his best friend. He had picked Renee over Waves, and when Julian had finally told her that Waves’s big mouth had blabbed and that Jared had killed him, she hadn’t even said thank you. She’d simply looked at Jared and walked away without saying a word. That was the moment that Jared had broken and his world had crumbled. He now regretted having put first someone who looked right through him and used him. This realization had brought about feelings of confusion and rage, because although the truth was evident and written in ink, he still had to have her.

  The doorknob on the front door began to rattle, rousing Jared from his thoughts. Shortly after that, there came a knock at the door. Angry and brokenhearted, Jared grabbed his gun from off the coffee table. Whoever was on the other side of the door had come at the wrong time. He swung the front door open and pointed his gun at Carmen’s forehead.

  Surprised by the welcome, she froze.

  “What do you want?” he snarled.

  Carmen didn’t recall moving, but her hands were up in the air, her eyes were stationed on the firearm, and her voice box was on vacation.

  “What the fuck do you want!” Jared screamed.

  The longer Carmen stood there, unresponsive, the angrier he became. It didn’t help that he was eye to eye with Renee’s look-alike during his time of distress.

  Carmen finally found her voice. “I came up here to wait for them to come back from Atlantic City. You know Renee doesn’t like me, so she told me to wait in front of the building till they came home. I wasn’t doing that.” Carmen spoke a mile a minute. Her body shook, and her face was beet red.

  Jared inched the gun closer to the center of her face. “Renee would die before she allowed you in her house.”

  They have the same shaped face and nose, he thought.

  “You’re right. She told me to wait in front of the building till they came home.” Carmen shook her head. “I’m not doing that.”

  His finger still on the trigger, Jared felt his face contort. He didn’t say anything.

  “It’s obvious I caught you at the wrong time. I’ll just go.” Her eyes never strayed from the gun while she slowly backed away from the doorway.

  “Nah, you ain’t got to go.” Jared lowered his gun and walked back inside, leaving the door wide open, with Carmen just steps from the doorframe.

  Carmen stood still for a second and tried to figure out whether or not Jared was safe to be around while alone. After decided that the threat level was not terribly high, she stepped inside the penthouse and headed straight for the love seat in the living room, which was several yards away from Jared. For an hour, the two sat in complete silence. Carmen pretended to watch TV, when really she was watching Jared kick back shots of cognac nonstop.

  “Should you be drinking while on the job?” she asked him.

  Jared’s glossy red eyes spoke before his mouth. “You think I give a damn? Fuck Renee!” He stuffed his hand inside his pocket and pulled out a small bag of white powder. After emptying the drug out on the coffee table, he used the nail of his middle finger to scoop it up and bring it to his nose. With each sniff he took, his eyes connected with Carmen’s, and the mixture of cocaine and alcohol pulled him farther into that pit of pain.

  Fuck Renee? Interesting. Something’s not right about this guy, Carmen thought.

  Jared had sealed himself inside his own world. Occasionally, he mumbled random sentences and words Carmen couldn’t decipher. All she understood was one phrase he kept yelling, and that was, “Selfish bitch!” Like a human observing an animal behind glass, Carmen pushed aside her immediate feeling of discomfort in order to witness the monster inside the man.

  Jared wiped his nose, took another shot of liquor, and burped. With his mouth wide open, he said, “Fuck that bitch,” and Carmen got a whiff of his stale breath.

  According to Lyfe, the backbone of Renee’s success was her team. Now that she had witnessed Jared’s behavior, she wondered if pure madness had overtaken the team and if that madness included disrespecting their queen.

  If I really want this life, I need him on my side and for Renee to let him go, she thought.

  After an hour and a half of watching mind-numbing reality shows and nearly going deaf from Jared’s snoring, Carmen got up off the love seat and took a trip around the house. Since she wasn’t welcome in Renee’s life, she’d never received a tour of her home, so she thought it best to take advantage of the opportunity that had presented itself. Going from room to room, she discovered two guest rooms and a library. Every room was pristine and looked like it had never been lived in. Bypassing the bathroom, Carmen walked directly toward Renee’s bedroom.

  Once she opened the bedroom door and slipped inside the room, she knew this was her majesty’s chambers. The room was massive and looked as if it had come out of a home-decorating magazine. Jealousy rose to the top of Carmen’s chest. Renee lived a better life than she ever had, even when she was with Benz. Renee was on a totally different level. Carmen searched through Renee’s closets, and the contents’ lack of color instantly depressed her.

  Damn! She thinks she’s a witch or something? What’s up with all the black?

  Rummaging through dresser drawers, Carmen looked at the labels sewn into Renee’s undergarments. Her face morphed into a scowl, erasing all her beauty, when she discovered that even Renee’s underwear was better than hers. Carmen opened another drawer; inside she found mismatched socks and a photo album. She laid the album on the dresser’s flat surface, and then she flipped through the pages. She was taken back in time to when Renee was a baby, equipped with fat cheeks and no teeth. Two pages later Renee had moved into her toddler years. Renee in a blue jumper, paired with pigtails and dimples, reminded Carmen of a Cabbage Patch doll, but more importantly, she reminded her of herself.

  Pages later Carmen fell into the family zone. In front of her were photos of Renee, their father, and someone she was sure was Renee’s mother. Tears dropped from her eyes and landed on her father’s face, giving the illusion that he too was crying. Carmen missed her father so much. Although she was young when he died, she remembered the joy and laughter that had filled her home whenever he was around. Everything now made sense in terms of why he had never lived with them. Although he was a great father, Carmen had always felt as though she had a part-time father, since he never stayed with her and her mother for more than a week at a time. Now that Lyfe had told her the truth about him being married and having a family, it all made sense. Lyfe had also made it known that Daniel planned to leave Sheila on many occasions, but he always stayed because of Renee. In her mind, Renee had taken her father away, and she’d never forgive her for that. Carmen’s plan to knock Renee off her throne arose not only from a desire to inherit her half-sister’s lifestyle but also from a need for payback for what Renee had taken from her years ago.

  Carmen slammed the photo album closed. The number of images that portrayed Renee and her parents as the Cosby family sickened her. She snatched up the album, and in the process of putting it back, she dropped it and watched it fall open to the last page. Loose pictures scattered on the floor. These photos were of Renee during her teenage years and her early twenties. Carmen picked up one of the photos and took a closer look. Beside Renee was a dark- skinned, muscular young man. He had his arm wrapped around her. Carmen squinted her eyes, focusing more intently on the image. Shaking her head, she bent down and grabbed a handful of Polaroids. In some of pictures, the two smiled, while in others they made silly faces. Carmen looked through picture after picture, until she found one of the guy up close and alone. Her breath caught in her chest and eyes grew large.

  That’s him.

  “What are you doing in here?”

  Carmen jumped at the sound of Jared’s voice. As she
faced him, her oversize eyes blinked rapidly. “Who is this . . . ? The guy in the picture with Renee? Who is he to her?” She held two images out in front of her; the fingers that held them shook.

  Jared walked up to Carmen and snatched the two photos out of her hands. He ignored the picture of a solo Julian and focused on the one with Julian and Renee, which conveyed the closeness and comfort the two enjoyed. Jared’s teeth ground moments before he crushed the second photo in his hand. Then he took the photos Carmen was now holding out, picked up the album, and collected all the loose photos scattered on the floor. He threw all the pictures, including the one he’d crumpled, inside the album.

  “Where did you get this from?” he growled.

  Carmen pointed to the drawer the album lived in, and Jared walked over to the dresser and chucked the album inside the drawer.

  “I want to get to know my sister. What the fuck else am I supposed to do?” Carmen squeaked.

  Jared got in her face. “You want to get to know your sister, huh? Little girl wants her big sis?” Jared’s voice was antagonizing and degrading. He invaded her personal space so much that his body pressed against hers and liquor invaded her nostrils.

  Standing firm and keeping her composure, Carmen replied, “Yes.” A fib.

  Jared took his finger and ran it across her cheek, triggering a sudden urge in Carmen. The last time she had had sex was months ago, with a man who looked a lot like the man in the photos, so whatever Jared had in mind, Carmen was not going to protest. If anything, she was in need of a stress reliever.

  “Poor baby. It hurts not getting what you want, doesn’t it?” Jared said, treating her with contempt.

  Then he grabbed Carmen by the back of her neck with one hand and palmed her breast with the other. He was anything but gentle, owing to the rage and the heartbreak swirling inside him. He needed an immediate release and a target. For years, Jared had done nothing but show Renee respect, and all he had got in return was nothing. However, despite his pain, his heart continuously reminded him that he needed her. He needed Renee so much that he’d even go as far as substituting her mirror image, her sister Carmen, for her.

  Carmen’s lips slid onto Jared’s, her lipstick staining his face. He picked her up and laid her on the bed, then tugged at her jeans until Carmen wiggled out of them and kicked them off the bed. After removing the remainder of her clothing, Jared took the opportunity to look over her body. Her perky breasts explained why she hadn’t worn a bra, and her cottony softness gained her extra points with him. Satisfied with Carmen’s physical appearance, Jared still could not help but wonder if she felt as good as Renee. Then he stood up and undressed.

  * * *

  Carmen’s mind circled around the photographs she’d seen.

  “It can’t be,” she murmured. Wrapped in the bedsheet, she lay on her side and scratched at the palm of her hand until it was red and raw to the touch.

  “Jared,” she called. Drenched in sweat, she spoke louder when she didn’t receive a reply. “Jared!”

  Jared lay on his back, his hands folded on his stomach, eyes closed. “What?”

  “The guy in the picture, who is he to Renee?”

  Jared’s fingers fidgeted with the sheet. Carmen rolled over, her hands tucked under her face.

  “Please tell me,” she said.

  “Why?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “Curious. And I—”

  “Want to get to know my sister,” Jared mocked.

  “Yes,” she fibbed. Carmen’s eyes settled on Jared’s pointer finger, which tapped against his knuckles, an uneven rhythm she found difficult to pick up.

  “Her boyfriend Julian.” His finger tapped faster.

  Carmen felt her heart rate slow. Sharp pains hit her stomach. That’s who I slept with on the plane and in the hotel. Carmen’s conversation with Lyfe came to mind.

  “How did she become so successful?”

  “She has a loyal team, especially Julian and Jared, who’s beyond dedicated. When men like them have your back, there’s no losing.”

  “Shit.”

  “What!” Jared yelled.

  “When you say boyfriend, do you mean boyfriend as in ‘they’re in a relationship’ boyfriend?”

  “No. Boyfriend as in her son. What the fuck else?” Jared ripped his hands apart and slammed his feet on the floor.

  Having high, drunken sex with Carmen, his Renee replacement, had done nothing for Jared’s rage. Plus, the sex was a flop.

  That broad’s sex was wack. A fuckin’ waste of time, he thought.

  There was nothing more disappointing to Jared than bad sex. He stood up, naked, and walked out of the dark bedroom and into the hallway bathroom. He wanted to put as much distance between himself and Carmen as possible. Carmen watched him walk out of the room.

  After Jared finished peeing, he flushed the toilet and washed his hands. He looked in the mirror and was surprised at what he saw. He looked so worn out, so stressed. The multiple lines on his face could have told the story of three lives. He splashed water on his face and shook his head. When he grabbed the hanging hand towel and dried his face, he heard something coming from downstairs. Immediately he froze. There was the sound of footsteps slowly moving, then suddenly stopping. Jared knew he had an uninvited guest. No person who belonged in that house would move with such caution.

  Slowly, Jared made his way into Renee’s bedroom. He moved every time he heard the footsteps move, so the interloper wouldn’t suspect that anyone was home. Slowly, he closed the bedroom door and grabbed his gun from out of his pants.

  “What are you doing?” Carmen asked.

  Jared placed his finger over his lips. “Be quiet and get under the bed,” he ordered. Then he moved to the side of the door.

  “Get under the bed? Why? What’s going on?” Carmen was beginning to panic.

  Has this motherfucker lost his mind? she wondered.

  Carmen had thrown the covers off her naked body and was getting out of the bed when they heard footsteps just outside the door. Her and Jared’s eyes met, and Carmen froze in place. Suddenly, the door was kicked down, and a tall woman stood in the doorway, dressed in black. She looked directly at Carmen and raised her gun.

  From the corner of her eye, Carmen saw that Jared’s skin blended into the darkness. He was inches away from the intruder, and his gun was pointed directly at her skull.

  When the woman saw Carmen look away, her eyes followed Carmen’s. As soon as she turned her head, she was looking down the barrel of a gun, with a burst of light heading her way. She didn’t have time to react. She was immediately hit and was dead within seconds. Her body fell to the floor, and her gun flew across the room. Her blood seeped into the carpet.

  Jared lowered his gun and looked down at the body. The moonlight through the window illuminated half of her face perfectly, making it impossible not to identify her.

  Janae, was all Jared thought.

  He bent down and looked closer at her body. What is she doing here? he wondered. For exactly one minute, Jared regretted what he had done. His heart sank, and he couldn’t breathe. However, the longer he looked at Janae, the faster these feelings vanished.

  She would have killed Renee if she was here. That’s definitely a no-no. Jared stood and continued to stare at the body. He no longer felt remorse, no longer felt pain. It was Renee or Janae, and Jared refused to let it be Renee. He brushed the incident off and treated it like every other murder he’d ever committed.

  “I’ll take care of this. Why don’t you get dressed and head downstairs?” he said.

  Carmen obliged. She pretended to be shaken up, when really she was ecstatic. Jared constantly proved himself worthy of being on her future team.

  Chapter 35

  Jared didn’t watch the cleaners take Janae’s body away. In fact, he didn’t give Janae’s death a second thought. He had washed his hands of her a long time ago, so in his mind, she had got what she deserved. Instead, he sat staring into space. His sanity
was slipping away, and there was nothing he could do but allow depression to eat him whole. Loving Renee was the worst thing he could have ever done, and now he was paying for it by having the life sucked out of him.

  Jared didn’t hear the front door slam when the cleaners left. He was too lost in his thoughts about what had taken place between him and Carmen. It was eating him up that he had betrayed Renee. He had just slept with the love of his life’s sister as a form of payback, only to wind up regretting it tremendously. He was so angry that Renee couldn’t see they belonged together, he was losing it. He had thought revenge would free him of his pain and open Renee’s eyes. However, after the deed was done, Jared was left feeling more shattered than ever before. Jared sat there hating himself.

  She can never find out. If she does, she’ll never be with me. I disrespected her home, her bed, and my love for her.

  Carmen sat across from Jared on the living-room couch, curious as to what he was thinking. He hadn’t blinked or moved. He looked caught in a trance, lost in a world of pain and anger. Carmen loved it.

  I need him on my team. He’s a savage, a no-heart bastard.

  Jared was winning Carmen over with every minute that passed. He killed with such precision, and with such ease. It was nothing for him to do what he did, and Carmen needed that if she wanted to survive in the drug game. In her eyes, Jared was a menace to society, but in reality, he was a broken man led by the demons of his past and his heartache of the present.

  Hours passed, and finally Renee, Julian, Lyfe, Metro, and Dane waltzed through the door. Jared didn’t acknowledge their presence. Still wearing his bloodstained sneakers, he continued to stare into space, mad at the world. Carmen had fallen asleep, stretched out on the couch like a cat.