Stay Away

by Ike Hamill

  “Will do,” Zinnia said.

  Reynold wanted to say more, but kept his mouth shut. They were positioned atop a delicate stack of lies. He didn’t want to upset the balance by trying to reinforce it.

  Jim let himself out and rushed to the car. Reynold and Zinnia watched as he backed out. With that problem off their hands, everything else came flooding back.

  “So, wait, where’s Jessie?”

  “He’s upstairs in his room. I have to get out of these damp clothes. You go up and I’ll be there in a minute.”

  She turned halfway from him and then turned back. They came together in a hug. Her clothes were wet and her skin cold.

  “Thank you,” she whispered into his ear.

  He hugged her harder.

  “Jump in the shower—you’re freezing,” he said.

  “Yeah. I think I will.”

  They walked together to the far side of the kitchen. She turned to go towards their room and he went through the living room to the stairs. Taking them two at a time, he heard laughter from up there. There hadn’t been a lot of that around the house lately—it was good to hear.

  Jessie’s room was full.

  Eric was sitting in the desk chair. Nicky was leaning against the bookcase near the dormer. Jessie was in bed with several blankets on top of him and his sister was sitting at the end of the bed.

  Reynold took the window seat close to Jessie’s bed.

  “So, how are you feeling?” Reynold asked, putting a hand on his son’s shoulder. Through the sweatshirt, Reynold could feel his son’s warmth. He pulled back his hand, glancing at the palm, remembering the burn from the Trader. His palm was still pink but the swelling had gone down a bit.

  “I’m fine,” Jessie said. He sounded a little nasal.

  “You went for a swim?”

  Jessie gave him a smile while the others laughed.

  “I guess. I don’t really remember.”

  “Yeah?”

  Lily chimed in. “The other kids remember more. Jessie doesn’t remember anything except waking up in the ambulance. They put a tube down his throat.”

  “Windpipe,” Jessie said.

  “Same thing,” Lily said.

  “One of the ambulance guys said that my mouth was like an ice cube dispenser.”

  Reynold did his best to smile while a cold chill ran down his spine.

  “Jim drove him out of there while he called the fire department on the radio. They had the ambulance ready to go and they got him going again on the way to the hospital. Jim saved his life,” Lily said.

  Reynold raised his eyebrows and nodded while he tried to piece together the sequence of events she was describing. He decided to ask Zinnia later—she would have a better account.

  “How did you get involved?” Reynold asked his daughter.

  “Mom called me from the hospital. She said she needed a ride home but then Jim brought her back with Jessie. We have to go pick up her car from Chickadee Drive.”

  “That’s fine,” Reynold said. “Jim said he would call you later.”

  Lily smiled at that.

  Jim Saunders was two different men. There was the officer that had hassled Eric and had been pretty much dismissive when Wendell had first gone missing. On more than one occasion in those first few days, Reynold had come dangerously close to taking a swing at that man. All he had to do was look to Eric when he wanted to remember that version of Jim Saunders. At just the mention of his name, Eric’s eyes would narrow a little.

  The other Jim was appearing more and more. He was the one who could make Lily smile. The two of them had met during the investigation. The police had interviewed everyone in the family separately, probably to make sure that there was nothing untoward happening in the Carroll house. By the end of Lily’s interview, something had already started to kindle between her and Jim. Reynold saw it as soon as she came out of the interview room.

  The first thing she had said was, “They’re going to find him. I’m sure of it.”

  It wasn’t confidence in their ability that was on her face though. She had been entranced by him. For a while, that had made Reynold hate him even more.

  It remained to be seen which Jim would show up now that they had the man in custody. Reynold was pulling for the one who made his daughter smile. She had been through a lot. She deserved to smile.

  “Oh, shit!” Nicky said. “Sorry, Mr. Carroll. I have to go.”

  “I’ll walk you over,” Eric said, standing up.

  “I have my car out front, dumbass. Sorry, Mr. Carroll.”

  He smiled and shook his head. “No problem. Thanks for everything, Nicky. Come over for dinner sometime, would you?”

  “Sure. My schedule though, you know? I work most evenings.”

  Reynold looked to Eric. He seemed to understand—it was his duty to convince his friend to come over for dinner at some point. The two of them left and Jessie looked like he was nodding off. He was sitting up, propped up against the headboard with a multitude of pillows, but his head was beginning to sag.

  Lily pulled her legs up to her chest—she wasn’t going anywhere even if her brother did fall asleep.

  “Thanks for being there for your mom today,” Reynold said. “I’m so glad you’re home.”

  “Me too. What happened to you? She said that you were on some task? Eric and Nicky said you were in the cellar doing something?”

  Reynold glanced at his son. Jessie seemed to be mostly asleep. He opened his mouth to begin to tell the strange story and then closed it again. Even if Jessie wasn’t awake to hear it, maybe it wasn’t a good idea to involve Lily in the complicated events with the Trader. Jim had a decision to make about how he would portray the capture of the old man. Reynold decided that it would be better to wait until that played out before he told Lily his own version.

  He shook his head and tilted his eyes towards Jessie. She got the hint that he didn’t want to talk about it in front of him.

  “Whose night is it for dinner?” he asked, nudging her towards a different subject.

  “Oh—mine, I guess. I was thinking maybe we should just do takeout?”

  Jessie’s eyes flew back open. Apparently, the sleepiness had been temporary.

  “China Town?” Jessie asked.

  “Don’t look at me. It’s your sister’s night.”

  “You want to do China Town? I’ll go pick it up,” he said. He punctuated his question with a fit of coughing. There was still water in his lungs—Reynold could hear it rattling.

  “You’re staying here, twerp,” she said. “I’ll go get it, and you’re getting Family Vegetable.”

  “Ugh. Gross,” Jessie said. He flipped the covers up over his head.

  When they were little kids, they had been the best of friends. Their teasing was always good natured, and they loved to make each other smile. Ever since Lily had left, there had been a rift between her and Jessie. She was an adult and he seemed to resent that she had left them all behind. This was the first time that he had seen them really interact with each other again. If Wendell had been there, it would have almost been like normal.

  Lily checked her watch and Reynold had a terrible prediction about what she would say. There were probably things she had to do before dinner. Maybe she had a phone call to make or blouses to iron. Relief swept through him when she shrugged at what she saw and leaned back against the wall. For the moment, they were together. Reynold put his feet up, squeezing into the space between the walls.

  When the boys had lived together, they had kept all their childhood toys. Then, when they split up, Jessie had bequeathed all of his toys too Wendell. Anything that Wendell didn’t want would be thrown away. It was no surprise that Wendell had wanted to keep everything. Jessie was always eager to move on. Wendell was always trying to maintain the status quo.

  Reynold wondered what he would find in the window seat if he lifted the lid—certainly not stuffed animals and dump trucks.

  Slowly, Jessie began to pull the covers
down from his head. Apparently, Reynold wasn’t the only one who had been lost in nostalgia.

  “You guys remember when we used to have Monopoly wars?” Jessie asked.

  “How can I forget?” Lily asked. “I still have a scar on my leg.”

  “Nuh-uh,” Jessie said.

  Lily pulled up the leg of her pants and turned her calf to show him.

  “You probably did that shaving your legs,” Jessie said.

  “For your information, I only use Nair on my legs.”

  “Yeah, but you didn’t always.”

  Reynold spoke up to derail the argument before it could go farther.

  “What I remember most about Monopoly wars was that you usually spent your money faster than anyone else,” Reynold said.

  “It’s the right thing to do,” Jessie said. “You have to collect properties in order to do anything. It doesn’t matter how much money you have after five minutes, it matters how much you have after an hour.”

  “You’re just saying that because Eric always said that,” Reynold said. Back then, Jessie had idolized Eric. The nights in the living room, playing games as a family, had really brought everyone together when Eric had first come to live with them. It was like his arrival had finally completed their unit. Before, they had all been waiting without knowing what they were waiting for.

  “What I remember is how nice it was to have a fire in the fireplace and sit too close to it,” Lily said. “I got a sunburn on my arm one time—that’s how close I was.”

  Reynold sighed and nodded. It had been nice. All the time and effort in hauling and splitting wood had been a pain in the ass, but there was nothing better than the warmth from a fire. As soon as they had replaced the furnace, they had stopped bothering with wood. Part of it had been convenience. It was much easier to just dial up the thermostat. There was also a certain amount of status involved though. When you didn’t have any way to pay for oil, you spent all your time splitting wood. There was probably yet another level that they hadn’t reached—the one where you burned wood because you had enough dough to afford someone to deliver and stack wood that was ready to go. Reynold wondered if maybe they had made it to that level. Zinnia handled most of the bills.

  “Why did you stop?” Jessie asked.

  “Stop what?” Lily asked.

  “Playing with us. All of a sudden, you just didn’t play with us anymore.”

  “We were playing on Friday night. Was I supposed to not have a social life?”

  “Was going out with stupid Brett better than spending time with us?” Jessie asked.

  Reynold wanted to step in again and change the topic, but he was hung up on the question too. There was a point when Lily had chosen Brett over the rest of them. At the time, he had spent hours trying to decide if he was upset that his daughter was growing up or upset at what she was becoming. While he still pondered that question, Lily’s relationship with Brett had gotten out of hand. Somehow, Zinnia had put a stop to that madness. It was a good thing, too. If Zinnia hadn’t found a way to scare him off, Reynold might have done something much worse.

  “No,” Lily said, closing her eyes. She leaned her head back against the wall and then slumped over on her side. “It wasn’t better, but I guess it felt like what I should do. You know when all your friends are really into something and then it becomes the thing you’re into?”

  Jessie mumbled something and then gave a low laugh. Reynold wondered what Jessie might have said if his father wasn’t in the room.

  “I mean, not like anyone was telling me that I had to be dating on Friday nights or that I had to go out with Brett, but when everyone is so obsessed with doing that, you have to wonder if you would be missing something if you didn’t do it too.”

  “I guess,” Jessie said. “I like to make my own decisions though.”

  Reynold laughed.

  The kids both looked at him.

  “Sorry. Don’t mind me.”

  “No, what?” Lily said, smiling. She already seemed to sense that Reynold would have a good story to back up his laugh.

  “Yeah, what?” Jessie asked.

  “Well, Jessie, I can think of one or two examples where you definitely made your own decisions, and I think you would have been a lot better off if you had just gone along with what your friends did.”

  Now, both kids were smiling.

  Reynold shook his head. “It’s not funny.”

  “Come on,” Lily said. “What did he do?”

  “Jessie, do you remember why Mrs. Willis sent you home from second grade?”

  He twisted his face and looked towards the ceiling before he looked back to his father, shaking his head.

  “You raised your hand to say that you had to go to the bathroom.”

  Jessie still had a blank look on his face. The boy had never been troubled by too comprehensive of a memory, that was certain.

  “The next thing that Mrs. Willis knew, all the kids were running to the window. What did she see when she looked out?”

  Jessie was beginning to turn red—perhaps the memory was coming back to him.

  “She and the class saw little Jessie, the boy who never bowed to society’s rules, out in the lawn in front of the school. His pants were down and he was relieving himself on the grass. When he came back inside, Mrs. Willis took him aside and explained that in the future, ‘Going to the bathroom,’ should involve an actual bathroom. My clever son Jessie nodded and seemed to take this in. However, the following day, the same thing happened and Jessie was sent home.”

  “How did I never hear about this?” Lily asked.

  “I don’t think it happened exactly the way he’s saying,” Jessie said.

  “When I asked Jessie what the issue was, I figured he would have a reasonable explanation. Maybe there was a bully who was hanging out in the bathroom, dispensing wedgies. Maybe Jessie didn’t like the smell of the cleanser they used on the floors. I thought that maybe he was too confused to ask how to operate the urinals. I knew that had been a source of confusion in the past for little Jessie.”

  “I knew how to use a urinal,” Jessie said.

  “Probably,” Reynold said. “Do you remember what you said to me when I asked you about going outside?”

  Jessie shook his head.

  “You said, ‘Dogs go outside and I asked mom if there was a difference between dog pee and people pee and she said no.’ Then, I asked you why you would go outside when every other person in your class and the entire school always used the restroom instead and you said, ‘I like to make my own decisions.’ Does that sound familiar?”

  Lily started giggling, covered her mouth to stop herself, and then snorted. That made her break up into full laughter. Jessie, after turning red and covering his face with his hands, lowered them to look at Lily. Her laughter was infectious. Soon, all three of them were laughing.

  ZINNIA

  ZINNIA RAN HER FINGERS through her hair as she climbed the stairs. It was still wet but she wasn’t going to torture it with the blowdryer again. Once a day was bad enough. As she reached the top, she heard laughter coming from Jessie’s room. Frustration began to rise—Jessie was weak and needed his rest. They shouldn’t be having a party in there. Then she thought about how long it had been since genuine laughter had erupted in the house.

  She smiled as she walked down the hall and turned into Jessie’s room.

  They all glanced at her as she came in.

  The happy mood of the room balanced for a moment.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked, trying to maintain her smile.

  Reynold cleared his throat and said, “I was reminding our son about how he used to believe that since dogs peed outside, he should too.”

  Zinnia spun the desk chair and sat down with her arms propped up on the back.

  “Ah, yes, also known as the time that Mrs. Willis almost had a heart attack,” Zinnia said.

  The room broke out in laughter again. Zinnia laughed too, happy that she hadn’t killed the
ir good time. Jessie already looked a million times better than he had in the hospital. Even after the medics in the ambulance had revived him, he had been different shades of blue and gray. Then, in the hospital, he had been discharged even though he looked like death warmed over. She had argued with the doctor at first, trying to explain what a ruddy and hearty boy he usually was. Then, she had figured if they were so eager to discharge him, why would she argue? If he was still frail at home, she could always drive him to a better hospital.

  Now, she had to admit that maybe the doctor had been right. At home, tucked into his own bed, Jessie looked right as rain. It was a true blessing. Just that morning she had thought that nothing would make her feel good except the return of Wendell. Now, with a little more perspective, she realized how much she still had to be thankful for. Wendell’s absence was a terrible hole in her heart, but she couldn’t let that make her forget how important that Jessie, Lily, Eric, and Reynold were.

  “Where’s Eric?” Zinnia asked.

  “He went to escort Nicky to work,” Reynold said.

  Zinnia raised her eyebrows. “I like that young woman. She has grit.”

  Reynold’s expression was easy to read. He hadn’t formed his own opinion so was willing to go along with hers. Some people might be frustrated by their spouse rolling over so easily like that. Zinnia liked it. She liked that Reynold trusted her so much that, more often than not, he would side with her without putting in any thought of his own.

  “Oh, Mom, you’re not thinking that…” Lily said, trailing off with her head tilted.

  “Maybe I am, what’s the harm? Eric’s single. I would bet that she is too. I’m allowed to hope that people find each other, aren’t I?”

  “Mom, no,” Lily said. “That’s not going to happen.”

  Lily heard the socked feet on the stairs and mimed turning a key on her lips. A second later, Eric came in. He had the scent of cold air and exertion on him as he passed by her. Zinnia noticed that his cheeks were flushed and he was still breathing hard.

  “Eric, you look like you’ve just run a marathon. What got you so worked up?” Zinnia asked. Lily shot her a look.