All You Need is Love

by Carole Matthews

  ‘Thank you. That’s very comforting.’

  Dora gathers her cardigan and handbag together, clearly limbering up to dance her way back to her flat. Looks like they’re all abandoning me. Oh, good. Back to spending my nights in front of the telly so soon.

  ‘Come on, Mrs K.We can’t have you wandering round Kirberly drunk and disorderly.’ Taking my neighbour’s arm, I help her towards the door. It has to be said that she’s a little bit unsteady on her feet – more so than usual. At least she’ll sleep tonight though.

  ‘Can you manage?’ I ask as I open the front door.

  ‘Ooo,’ Mrs Kapur says in surprise. ‘Hello, love.’

  Then I look up and there’s Johnny, still in his smart suit and holding a bottle of champagne.

  Chapter One Hundred and Eight

  Johnny helped me to put Mrs Kapur to bed. It’s a good job that I had an extra pair of hands as she’d developed a fit of the giggles by the time we’d got her to her flat and was all over the place. A good time, I think, was had by all. When we finally cover her with her duvet, she’s already sparko. I’d better get down to Save-It in the morning to buy some Resolve for her. That little lady’s going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.

  Now we’re back in my flat and Johnny’s in the kitchen opening the champagne. I’d hardly touched the stuff until a few weeks ago and now I feel as if I’m swimming in the flipping stuff. I don’t spoil Johnny’s treat by telling him that though. Also, I’ve had more than enough to drink already and I bet I’ll be nicking some of the Resolve in the morning too.

  I’ve got two of Spencer’s champagne flutes in the cupboard, but I can’t bring myself to use them. Somehow it just doesn’t seem right. Instead, I rinse out two of the wine glasses and dry them with the tea towel. We take them through to the living room and settle into the sofa.

  The cork pops and Johnny fills our glasses with bubbles.

  ‘Wow,’ I say. ‘I think that this is probably the first time that we’ve drunk champagne together.’

  He clinks his glass against mine. ‘I thought we had a lot to celebrate.’

  ‘Look at you,’ I say. ‘You’ll be too posh for this place soon.’

  ‘Like you?’

  ‘Well . . . that’s something that I wanted to tell you. But first, let’s drink to your success.’

  ‘To my success,’ Johnny says, and we both swig our champagne.

  ‘I’ve already had more than enough to drink,’ I tell him. ‘But I guess a couple more won’t hurt.’

  ‘Special occasion,’ he says. ‘It would be rude not to.’ Then Johnny sighs. ‘I got a big commission today, Sal. A really big one. It’s not signed and sealed yet, and I probably won’t believe it until the ink’s dry and the cheque’s cleared. But the Arts Council have offered me quarter of a million quid.’

  That nearly makes me splutter my drink out. ‘How much?’

  ‘I know. I couldn’t believe my own ears either.’

  ‘What have you got to do for that?’

  ‘Paint a mural on a car park.’

  ‘Wow.’ It’s hard to take this in. How can Johnny sit there looking so unruffled? I’d be running round, waving my arms in the air and screaming like a banshee. ‘I’m glad that we got you to do the Community Centre while you were cheap.’

  We have a laugh at that.

  I raise my glass again. ‘No wonder you can afford to splash out on champagne.’

  His eyes meet mine. ‘I wish you could have been there with me.’

  ‘Me too.’ I want to reach up and stroke his cheek, but I don’t. Johnny hasn’t shaved since this morning and I know exactly how soft his stubble will feel. Pulling my attention back to the moment, I add, ‘And there’s the nomination for the award to drink to as well.’

  We clink and swig again.

  ‘That’s great news,’ Johnny says. ‘I hope you win.’

  ‘Me too,’ I confess. What I really hope is that we blast the competition into the weeds!

  ‘Here’s to us,’ Johnny says softly, and we swig in unison.

  ‘To us,’ I echo, and there’s a sadness in my words. ‘You did so well on the telly,’ I chirp, trying to bring some lightness to the moment. ‘It was as if you’d been doing it all your life.’

  ‘Looks like both of our dreams are coming true.’ He takes my fingers and toys with them. ‘In some ways.’

  Then he takes my glass and puts it down on the coffee-table along with his. Johnny leans forward and he kisses me, long and hard. His mouth tastes of champagne on mine.

  ‘Oh, Sal,’ he murmurs.

  My body arches into his, fitting together so well just as it used to. Tears spring to my eyes; this feels so good, so familiar. It feels as if I’m coming home. Johnny’s fingers find the buttons of my blouse and he starts to undo them as he covers my throat with hot kisses. I ease his shoulders out of his suit jacket and tug at his tie, fumbling to get the knot undone.

  Then I hear a key in the lock and Charlie bowls in. ‘Hiya!’

  He stops dead in his tracks and watches wide-eyed as Johnny and I scramble to rearrange our clothing.

  ‘Hiya.’ Johnny’s the first to find his voice.

  I duck behind him, rapidly doing up my buttons, my face red with embarrassment.

  Charlie shuffles uncomfortably in the doorway. ‘How did it go on the telly?’

  ‘Great,’ Johnny said. ‘I think it went well.’

  ‘Sound. Can I watch it now?’

  I smooth down my blouse. ‘Maybe not just now,’ I tell Charlie. ‘Why don’t you go to your room and get ready for bed. Johnny and I have got a few things to talk about.’

  My son raises his eyebrows at that. ‘Okay.’ He turns to go, then changes his mind. ‘Did you tell Johnny our news?’

  ‘No,’ I say. ‘Not yet. But that’s the very next thing on my list.’

  ‘Cool,’ Charlie says, and then disappears into his room.

  When he’s gone, Johnny puts his head in his hands. ‘Sorry,’ he says. ‘Really sorry. Just got carried away by the moment.’

  ‘It’s okay.’ I try a laugh. ‘It will teach me to be more careful. I never thought that my ten-year-old son would catch me making out on the sofa. I always expected it to be the other way round.’ Though not for a good few years yet, I hope.

  ‘It’s my fault,’ Johnny insists. ‘I shouldn’t have done that. I love Dana. I love her a lot.’

  Which kind of bursts my bubble. Did I hope that Johnny’s passion meant that there was a chance of us getting back together? Yes, I admit that I probably did.

  ‘And you’re with Spencer. I don’t know what I was thinking of.’

  Now I force a smile. ‘Blame it on the champagne.’

  Johnny’s eyes search my face.

  ‘It’s forgotten already,’ I say flippantly.

  He stands. ‘Maybe it’s time that I left.’

  ‘We still have a lot of champagne to finish.’

  ‘I think the moment’s gone.’

  Then I stand too and I put my arms around his neck and give him a long, lingering kiss. Johnny doesn’t object. We hold each other tightly and I never want to let him go.

  When we finally break apart, I say, ‘For old time’s sake.’

  Johnny nods. We move away from each other until only our fingertips are touching. There’s a catch in Johnny’s voice when he says, ‘Dana will be worried about me.’

  ‘Yeah.’ I nod. ‘You should go.’

  He turns and I follow him to the door.

  ‘Just one thing before you leave,’ I say. ‘Charlie and I aren’t moving away.’

  My ex-lover, my best friend, frowns at me.

  ‘It’s over with Spencer. I’ll be stuck at Bill Shankly House for the foreseeable future.’

  ‘Am I supposed to be happy about that?’

  ‘I don’t know. Are you?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Now there are tears in Johnny’s eyes. He strokes my cheek. ‘I never wanted you to go. I never wanted Charlie to go.’
/>
  My heart should feel light, but it feels like a lead weight. ‘Well,’ I say. ‘Now we’re staying.’

  And now you’re in love with Dana.

  Chapter One Hundred and Nine

  ‘She was kissing him,’ Charlie confided. ‘All over. It sounded all slurpy like someone eating a peach.’

  Kyle wrinkled his nose and passed another Blackjack chew to Charlie. His lips and tongue were already black as they’d eaten a load.

  ‘I think Johnny might have undone my mum’s blouse,’ Charlie said. ‘Do you think that they might have been going to do It?’

  Kyle shook his head. ‘Nah. Too old. People their age don’t do It.’

  ‘They looked like they might.’

  ‘Nah.’

  ‘Your mum does It.’

  ‘That’s different,’ Kyle said. ‘She’s not like your mum.’

  ‘Oh.’ Charlie thought about it a bit more. ‘They were sort of lying on the sofa, all squashed up together.’

  ‘When old people do It,’ Kyle explained, ‘they only do it in beds, so they couldn’t have been going to do It.’

  ‘Oh.’ Charlie was glad that Kyle knew so much about these things otherwise he would never know what was going on. ‘What other sweets have we got?’

  Kyle delved into the bag. Now that they’d given up smoking they had more money for sweets, and you could buy an awful lot of sweets for the five pounds a week they’d spent on cigarettes. And sweets tasted much better than cigarettes anyway. It also meant that they could sit outside on the grass round the estate and they didn’t have to hide away behind bins or the bike shed at school.

  ‘We’ve got Fried Eggs, Swizzles, Flying Saucers, Fruit Salad chews, Fizzy Cola Bottles and Drumstick lollies.’

  It was an excellent selection. Charlie pondered his choice. ‘I’ll have two Cola Bottles and a Flying Saucer.’

  Kyle handed them over, licking his fingers as he did. ‘What happened to the posh bloke with the Porsche?’

  ‘Dunno,’ Charlie said. ‘Blown out of the water.’ He made a series of exploding noises to illustrate his point.

  ‘Huh.’ Kyle stuffed in another Fried Egg.

  Charlie turned over onto his stomach and kicked his feet at the air. He really liked it round here now that his mum and everyone else – including him and Kyle – had done it up. It looked cool. He chewed thoughtfully at his cola bottle. ‘Do you think if my mum was kissing Johnny then they might get back together?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Kyle said with a mouthful of Swizzles. ‘My mum kisses loads of blokes, but that doesn’t mean anything.’

  ‘I hope that they do go out again,’ Charlie said. ‘Now that we’re not going to Surrey. Then everything would be perfect again.’

  ‘I’m glad that you’re not going to Surrey. I would have had to look for another best friend.’

  ‘Me too.’

  He punched Kyle and Kyle punched him back. Then they rolled on the grass, fighting. Charlie laughed out loud. He had a sound best friend, a big bag of sweets and his mum said he could get his own telly for his room for Christmas. Why would he ever want to live anywhere else?

  Chapter One Hundred and Ten

  Charlie’s gone to school, but I’m still slobbing around in my dressing-gown having a hairmare and, as yet, am a slap-free zone. Actually, I might look like a slob, but I’m not strictly slobbing around. I’m on the computer tapping out some notes, trying to put a business plan together for my new gardening company, which I think I’m going to call GROW. I talked to Richard Selley – my nice man at the Council, who’s turning out to be a very nice man indeed – and he is going to put me in touch with some of the agencies who work with disadvantaged kids.

  The idea is that I recruit some youths like the hoodies to help do gardening for disabled or elderly people. The advantages are two-fold: the youths learn some skills to help them keep on the straight and narrow out in the big, bad world, and people who are in need of assistance get a helping hand. I had a meeting with Dana’s friend yesterday at the Business Link Centre and she’s given me some really helpful tips – told me how to apply for some funding and how to put my business plan together. Now the rest of it is up to me.

  I hear a car pull up outside the flats and, being nosy, I glance out of the window. It’s Spencer’s Porsche. I see him get out, armed with an enormous bouquet, and then he heads inside Bill Shankly House.

  It’s too late now to go running round getting dressed and generally tarting myself up – although I do have the overwhelming urge to do so. Even now, now that it’s over, my heart still lurches when I see him. Sometimes, I regret that the lift is working perfectly. This is one of those times. Spencer will be up here in just a minute, so not too long to panic.

  I’m standing waiting at the front door when the lift opens and Spencer steps out.

  ‘Hello,’ he says, surprised that I’m already waiting for him. His usual cool disappears and, self-consciously, he proffers his flowers.

  ‘They’re beautiful.’

  ‘If I was feeling particularly cheesy,’ Spencer says, ‘I’d tell you that they’re not as beautiful as you.’

  I give a glance at my tatty dressing-gown. ‘Today, I wouldn’t believe you.’

  We laugh and that goes some way to breaking the tension.

  ‘I’ve come to say goodbye,’ Spencer tells me.

  I swallow the lump that comes to my throat. ‘One last cup of tea?’

  ‘No, thanks,’ he says, ‘I can’t stay for long.’ But he follows me into the flat anyway.

  ‘I’m going to miss you,’ I tell him truthfully.

  ‘I think I’ll miss you more.’

  His eyes are too sad and I can’t bear to look at them. I turn away from his gaze and say, ‘I can’t thank you enough for all the things that you’ve done for me.’ I make a gesture at the computer to remind him of one small thing in a sea of kindness.

  ‘How’s it going?’

  ‘I’m hoping to set myself up in business,’ I confide, knowing that it won’t hurt to tell Spencer. ‘I didn’t think I was cut out for office work so I’m hoping to form a company using disadvantaged kids to do gardening for disabled people.’ The more I say it, the more feasible it sounds.

  Spencer looks surprised. ‘Just like that?’

  I shrug. ‘Yeah.’

  ‘I think you’ll be great at it,’ he says.

  Then we stand in silence and after a moment Spencer sighs. ‘I have to ask you one question. Are you and Johnny together again?’

  ‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘He always has been and always will be one of my best friends.’ I try to block the lingering memory of Johnny’s last forbidden kiss and the taste of his lips. ‘He’s happy with Dana. Who knows – they may even tie the knot.’

  Spencer looks relieved. ‘I came here today with an ulterior motive,’ he admits.

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘I want you to change your mind,’ he says flatly. ‘I still love you. I want you to come to Alderstone House with me and I want you to marry me.’

  ‘I can’t,’ I tell him softly. ‘I belong here. With Charlie. With all of my friends. When all’s said and done, I don’t want to be rattling round in a stately home in the middle of rolling fields. It’s not me. I’m a city girl, born and bred, Spencer. I don’t fit into your way of life. I’ve smog in my lungs, the smell of high-rise in my hair. I love it here. This is my home. Mine and Charlie’s.’ I try for a laugh, but it won’t come. ‘I guess it’s true what they say – you can try to take the girl out of Liverpool, but you can’t take Liverpool out of the girl.’

  ‘I could come here,’ he says, his face deadly serious. ‘The times I’ve had here with you have been among my happiest. I don’t want that to end. I could come here and help you to bring up Charlie.’ Tears spring to his eyes. ‘I’ve realised that I’m going to miss him too.’

  I’m so choked that I can’t speak. If only Spencer had felt like that sooner.

  ‘I’ve let the apartment go
from the end of the month, but I could move in with you, find a proper job again. There must be work round here or in Manchester that I can do.’

  ‘What about Alderstone?’

  ‘My father would have to find someone else to run the estate.’

  ‘You can’t do that,’ I tell him. ‘It would never work. You’d only begin to resent me for holding you here. That’s your destiny, Spencer. This is mine.’

  I go to him and lay my head on his chest. Spencer wraps his arms round me and holds me tight.

  ‘Go home,’ I tell him. ‘Find a great girl with the right pedigree, one who your parents love, settle down, have kids, send them off to boarding school and do what you’re meant to do.’

  ‘Put duty before love?’

  ‘Sometimes it’s the only way.’

  He kisses my hair, holding me as if he’s never going to let me go. And, despite my brave and sensible speech, I don’t want him to.

  Then Spencer breaks away from me and heads for the door without looking back. I sit in the window, dressing-gown wrapped around me, tears coursing down my cheeks.

  A minute later and Spencer’s climbing into his car; he glances up at me and I blow him a loving kiss that I want him to hold in his heart for ever. I stay where I am, wondering whether I’m completely mad in letting this man go, or whether I’ve really done the right thing. Then I watch as Spencer drives away and out of my life.

  Chapter One Hundred and Eleven

  We’ve all sat and clapped politely through a lot of presentations already. Next to me, Charlie sighs and I dig him in the ribs, making him sit up straight. The Council have hired a big hall in the city for the awards ceremony. It’s decorated with red and white balloons, and flower arrangements grace the four corners of the room. There’s a huge cake at the back that’s forming the centrepiece of a sumptuous finger buffet that we’re doubtless going to descend on when all the formalities are done.

  I feel so nervous, as if I’m about to sit an exam. Thankfully, I’m surrounded by my good friends and neighbours who are here not only to support me, but because without their help and enthusiasm, the All You Need Is Love project to spruce up Kirberly would never have got off the ground. Mrs Kapur’s here, along with Johnny’s mum, who went out and had her hair done especially this morning – the first time she’s done that in five years. Her lovely son must have bought her some new clothes too with his newfound wealth as she looks a million dollars. Dora the Explorer is on the other side of her with her new boyfriend, Ronaldo – who seems not to be quite as gay as we first thought. Charlie’s sitting next to Kyle. Or should I say fidgeting. Despite having wriggle bottoms, they’re both looking newly washed and very smart. Even more surprising, Kyle’s mum, Janice, and his stepdad, Paul, are here too, and I have to admit that they’ve been a great help throughout the project and it looks like they’ll continue to do their bit now that it’s formally over. I only hope that it’s helped to bring them closer together as a family and perhaps now they’ll start to look after their boy a bit better.