I dropped my eyes to the screen and my teeth clenched as I spoke the words. “Foreplay: sexual activity that precedes intercourse.”
Saint smirked as he took his phone back. “And are you expecting me to have intercourse with you any time soon, Barbie?” There was an undercurrent of mocking in his tone that made my veins sear with shame and I squirmed uncomfortably on the bed. I shouldn’t have felt so awkward and I hated the reason for why I did. I wanted him. I couldn’t help but fantasise about what it would be like to be claimed by the devil. But as my cheeks blazed and amusement flitted through his eyes, I decided I wasn’t going to let him hold the power right now. I was going to claim it myself.
“I’m not expecting you to, Saint, but sometimes I think about it,” I admitted and the mirth fell from his features instantly. Ha, you didn’t expect that did you asshat? I took advantage of his shock, moving forward onto my knees and biting my lip seductively. “Sometimes all I want to do is let you take control of my entire body, give all of myself to you and experience your devout power first hand.” Devout power might have been overkill, but his face didn’t say so. In fact, his eyes swirled with a hunger so fierce it frightened me.
“Rules are rules,” he said a little hoarsely.
“Yeah, and I don’t think you’ve forgotten that I defined that particular rule as not allowing any of you to touch me beneath my underwear.” I lifted a brow. Let’s see you get out of that one, oh holier than thou.
He tutted, shaking his head. “I didn’t touch you, the toy did.”
“Pah! Since when is it allowed for you to use toys on me? Your argument is wearing thin, Saint.”
“My argument is iron clad. Nothing in the rules says I can’t use toys on you, does it?”
I scowled, he scowled. It felt like checkmate, but it wasn’t. He was wrong, he just couldn’t stand to admit it.
“Get up. Get your coat. We’re leaving.” He marched downstairs and I smiled victoriously for having rattled him. The great Saint Memphis was not made of stone. He was made of flesh and blood and a heap of seriously tempting muscles and sometimes I wanted to taste it all.
I grabbed my coat from the closet and headed downstairs, finding my band of not-so-merry men waiting for me. Kyan yawned broadly as Blake slid an arm around my shoulders and muttered a promise in my ear that he would find the spider before I returned.
“Just don’t kill it,” I ordered just in case he did find an unlucky spider, and he snared my pinky with his.
“Promise, sweetheart.”
I smiled at him, my heart fluttering at his cuteness.
We headed outside and they walked me to Monroe’s house. When we arrived outside the red brick building in the northwest of campus and Saint knocked on the door, my heart started beating out a wild tune. Staying here was always a test of my resolve. All I wanted since we’d kissed was to do it again and again and again. But I had to behave, do as he’d asked and keep away from him. I wasn’t going to put his job in jeopardy even if it was agony of mass proportions to do so. It was even harder now I knew he wanted me too…
He opened the door, clearly just back from a run, his chest bare and gleaming, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips and giving me a delicious view of the V that ran beneath his waistband. Holy fucking hotness. This is not fair.
Saint handed Monroe my bag and Blake pushed me toward him.
“Bet you wish you could come with us tonight, huh Nash?” Kyan said and I glanced between them as Monroe nodded with a wicked expression on his face.
“Why?” I questioned.
“Because we’re going to fuck with Stalker until he cries like an infant,” Saint said coldly and a tremor ran through me at the darkness in all of their eyes.
“Take good care of her,” Blake insisted as Monroe stepped aside to let me in and I scented pine and testosterone on his flesh.
“Always,” Monroe agreed and the look they all shared made my skin tingle.
He shut the door and planted my bag down, tucking his hair behind his ears as he surveyed me. “Sorry, I lost track of time, I would have gone for a run sooner…”
“It’s no problem,” I said politely, the air becoming fraught with awkward tension.
Silence stretched then Monroe cleared his throat.
“I’ll just go take that shower then, help yourself to food.” He gently pounded his fist into my arm in a weirdly bro-ish gesture then stalked to the bathroom, heading inside and I swear I caught him say the word idiot to himself.
I didn’t bother to get snacks after my morning binge, but I did put on an episode of Monroe’s favourite truck show, enjoying the familiarity of it as I settled myself down on the couch. I needed to psyche myself up for telling him about my dad’s call and ask him to sneak me off campus in a few days. He was either going to freak out and refuse for my own safety or vow to do all he could to pull it off. I couldn’t quite decide which was more likely. But I wasn’t going to tell him when exactly I was planning to go unless he agreed. Otherwise he’d make it his personal damn mission to stop me.
He finally returned from the shower and I did my absolute best - scout’s honour – not to eye fuck him all the way to his bedroom. When he returned, he was dressed in sweats, totally covered up so I at least could avoid that distraction. Though his handsome face was enough to make my tummy squeeze and for me to fantasise about pressing my tongue between his lips. Stop it, you sex-craving waif.
After we’d finished an episode of Super Truckers and eaten our way through some burgers and fries in near silence, I accepted that I was procrastinating. I was so nervous to talk to anyone about Dad, even Monroe who’d been there through everything for me. But I didn’t know what he thought of my dad and part of me didn’t want to know. I couldn’t bear it if he held hate in his heart for the man who’d raised me. Who would never have hurt anyone intentionally. And I didn’t want to have to defend him to Monroe of all people, who I wanted to trust. Needed to trust.
“You’re fidgeting a lot,” he pointed out, which just made things more awkward.
“Yeah…” I chewed my lip, looking over at him in his armchair and he frowned. “I need to talk to you,” I blurted and his features shifted into concern.
“What’s up?”
I sat upright in my seat, picking an invisible piece of lint off my knee as I studied the area. This was either going to make or break our relationship, I could feel it. The rest of the school may have thought Dad was a villain, but if Monroe did too…
“Tatum, you can tell me anything,” he encouraged and I continued to pick at my knee. He was right. I had been able to tell him anything up until now. But what if we’d reached a point where that wasn’t true anymore?
I guess there’s only one way to find out.
“My dad called,” I forced the words from my lips, my heart pounding wildly.
“What?” he gasped, but I couldn’t get a read on how he felt about that from his tone.
I made myself look up and found his brows stitched together and his jaw tight. Before I could tell him more, I needed to know if I could trust him with this. The conversation I’d shared with Dad was the most precious secret I had. My thumb traced over the rose-shaped scar on my arm and my mind whirled at the truth branded on my flesh. It was still hard for me to accept the knowledge that my blood held the antibodies everyone in the world was so desperately in need of right now.
“Do you believe me about my dad? Do you believe he’s innocent?” I fixed him with a stare, unblinking, taking in every inch of his face as I hunted out any hint of the answer before he gave it.
He sighed, leaning forward in his seat and resting his elbows on his knees. “Do you believe he’s innocent beyond all reasonable doubt?” he asked.
I huffed in offence at the question, but he gave me a patient look that said he wanted that answer.
I sighed. “Of course I do.”
“Unquestionably? Not a single doubt?”
My heart thundered against my ribcage and
heat flushed through my body. “What are you trying to imply?”
“I’m not trying to imply anything, princess. I just want you to be totally honest with me.”
I tried to swallow the razor sharp ball in my throat and failed. Because of course I had doubts. They crept in at night and whispered the worst, most terrifying possibilities in my ears. But I never let them in. I built a wall against them and refused their existence. But now…with Monroe looking at me like that, I knew he was going to make me face them.
“He’s a good person,” I choked, tears threatening to come for me, but I held them back.
“That’s not what I asked you,” he said steadily, a patient expression on his face.
My lungs started to labour and I pushed out of my seat, needing to expend this anxious energy in me. “What do you wanna hear, Nash? That I have doubts about my own father?”
Anger took the place of my sadness and I let it wash through me so I didn’t feel so vulnerable.
“I just want to hear the truth, Tatum. That’s why I haven’t asked you about this before, because I know you’re struggling with it. But you need to know, you’re not betraying him if you have doubts.” Why did he sound so rational? Why was he so freaking calm?
I shook my head furiously. “I don’t have doubts,” I insisted, but I could taste the lie on my tongue.
“You’re never going to trust me with this if you don’t trust yourself with it,” he said.
“What are you, my therapist now?” I threw at him, wishing he would stand up and fight back like Kyan did, or make a joke like Blake, or spank me like Saint would. But Monroe wouldn’t do any of those things. He was too understanding, his eyes cut through my flesh to the centre of my soul like no guy ever had. He saw me too clearly. He knew my emotions better than I did. And I hated that right now.
“I just want to help,” he said firmly.
“Why?” I deflected from the real discussion. “Why do you want to help me, Nash? What is it about me that is so fucking worthy of your time? I’m not a damsel in distress.”
“I never said you were,” he growled, an edge to his tone.
“Yes you did,” I said heatedly. “You call me princess, you think I’m just some spoiled rich girl who got herself in trouble and now she needs a knight to swoop in and save her.”
He rose to his feet, his impressive height making my throat tighten. Monroe may have been the most patient of the Night Keepers, but he was still not to be fucked with. And I was starting to get the rise out of him that some part of me craved.
“How much bullshit are you gonna spout at me tonight, huh? To yourself?” he snapped and it was worse than his teacher tone. This was a fury he felt in his heart, not just because I was some student pissing him off. I’d touched a nerve and it didn’t feel good. Especially because he could still see right through me, knew I was trying to divert from the real issue here.
The tears were making threats again, holding me at gunpoint and my anger was a wimp about to abandon me. I didn’t realise I was shaking until Monroe got close and took hold of my shoulders, staring down at me with an intensity in his eyes which broke through my walls.
“Be honest with yourself. The world won’t fall, I promise. I’ll hold it up for you,” he growled and I nodded, the tears winning out, spilling hot and thick down my cheeks.
“He’s a good person,” I repeated and Monroe’s lips pressed together. “But…”
“But?” he pushed.
I cleared my throat, wanting to look away, but he caught my chin like he could see that urge in me. His eyes were the deepest shade of blue I’d ever known. They were an ocean of dark and light, just like him. “But sometimes…I fear he made a mistake.”
The admission lifted a weight from me, but the guilt immediately set in. How could I doubt him after everything? Dad had been my rock, my guiding star. I was supposed to back him to the ends of the earth.
“Parents are just people,” Monroe said gently, jolting me out of the dark spiral I was falling into. “And people do bad things sometimes. I’m not saying he did it. And I’m not trying to make you think he did either. But I know you have doubts, because you’re only human. And that’s okay, princess.”
I managed to swallow the ball in my throat at last and Monroe lifted a hand to wipe my tears away. “I’m all he has in the whole world, if I don’t defend him, who will? It’s not right for me to doubt him.”
“Has he given you an explanation?” he asked slowly and I shook my head. “Then of course you feel this way. All of it is totally justifiable. The love, the anger, the guilt, the shame. Frankly, I think you’ve dealt with it all far better than any man or woman I know would. But I don’t want you to carry that burden alone anymore. You can trust me with anything. I mean that. It’s not an empty promise. No matter what it is, no matter how bad, I will keep your secrets and guard them with my wretched soul in this life or the next.”
“Nash,” I breathed, the weight of those words making me feel safer already. “I’m so afraid of hearing what he has to say. When we spoke…he had hardly any time. But he told me things that scare me.”
“What did he say?” he said gently, pulling me closer to him.
I glanced down at the scar on my arm. I’d promised my dad I wouldn’t tell anyone the truth about it. And I would never have considered breaking his trust for just anyone. Except that he wasn’t taking into account that I was all alone at Everlake. He had no idea what I’d been through, how I’d been persecuted and outcasted. Didn’t I have a right to share this with the man who had stood by me through it all? Who’d been there when my dad hadn’t?
“He said...” My lungs were tight and my throat was too thick. I took a heavy breath, making my decision as another tear rolled down my cheek. “He said I’m immune to the Hades Virus.”
I twisted my arm, showing him the scar and Monroe’s brows lifted as he took hold of my elbow, grazing his thumb across the mark.
“Fuck,” he gasped. “How?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t have time to say, he feared someone would trace the call. But, Nash…he said that’s why my sister died. That the vaccine went wrong for her. But I don’t know why, I don’t know anything-”
He cupped my cheek and my panic eased. “Shh, it’s okay.”
“He wants to meet me. To explain.” My hands shook as I gazed down at my scar again, this secret that could change the whole world filling up every space between us.
“Here?” he asked, his eyes still tracing the scar on my arm in fascination.
“No, off campus. Somewhere I used to go with him when I was younger.”
He finally looked up from the scar to meet my gaze and my shoulders dropped. I could see how safe my secret was with him. He wouldn’t tell a soul. I knew it like I knew the sun would rise tomorrow.
“You need to do this,” he said, reading that fact from my expression and I nodded to confirm it.
“I was hoping maybe…you could get me off campus to see him?” I asked, my chest constricting as I pinned all of my hopes on him.
“Yeah,” he said, nodding like he was deep in thought. “I think I can manage it.”
“You can?” I breathed, hope making my heart lift.
He nodded again, his brow creasing. “You need to hear what he has to say, Tatum.”
“I know, but I’m afraid,” I admitted as my lip quivered.
He smiled sadly. “You’re the bravest person I know. No matter what he says, you’ll survive it. I know you will.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, thinking of nothing but how grateful I was and how deeply I needed him in my life. “You have no idea how much this means to me, Nash.”
My heart clenched as I thought of the looming decision I knew I had to make. Or if it would even be mine to make. Would Dad let me go with him when I saw him? Did he want me to? And did I want to go? Once I stepped out of the Everlake gates…was I ever going to come back?
He slowly slid his arms around me, sighing
as he held me tight and I bathed in the closeness of him, knowing it would only last for this brief moment in time. “I’d do anything for you, princess. Come hell or high water, I will get you to your dad.”
I stood outside The Temple with the darkness pressing in on me and my heart pounding as I waited to hear from Tatum. I was nervous, but not just because I was seeing her or because we were going to be sneaking off campus, but because my gut was telling me that this was it. That once she got out there into the wild and saw her father, the one person in this world she really loved, she wasn’t going to get back into my car with me. She’d take one look at him and despite the danger involved with going on the run with the most wanted man in the entire world right now, she’d go with him.
What reason did she have to stay here anyway? Why would she come back to a school where a bunch of assholes had laid claim to her entirely? Where they told her what to wear, where to go, what to do, who to hang out with. It was a fucked up situation and I knew she hated it. She wanted to be free. She wanted to choose her own life. And that life wouldn’t involve coming back here. Wouldn’t involve me.
I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that she was immune. That there was actually a vaccine to this fucking virus out there somewhere. Did that mean that it was only a matter of time until it was offered out to the public? Or was it lost now, stolen alongside the virus that had infected the world. But in one sense, I couldn’t help but be glad of it. Because at least I knew I didn’t have to fear her contracting it. I didn’t have to worry about her becoming sick if she really did head out into the world and turn her back on this place.
I ran a hand through my blonde hair, pushing it back out of my eyes as the straight strands were tossed about by the chilling breeze. Stubble scraped across my palm as I swiped it over my face and I sighed.
Tatum Rivers had been the ultimate fantasy. The little ray of light I’d been hooked on while the darkness that surrounded me made me ache. In the years that had passed since my family had been stolen from me, I’d been so focused on trying to achieve my revenge that I hadn’t even noticed how lonely I was.
Kings of Lockdown: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Brutal Boys of Everlake Prep Book 2) Page 57