Sure, I’d known I was alone. It wasn’t possible to go from living within the loving embrace of your family to a group home filled with assholes without realising that. But I’d always believed I was…content. Alone in my desire to destroy Troy Memphis, alone in my need for justice and retaliation. Alone in my life in a way that felt irrevocable. But when I was with her, it didn’t feel so permanent all of a sudden.
I should have known that time was fleeting. That I couldn’t even indulge in a wish of a future which involved my golden haired warrior. She was my student, I was her teacher and even aside from that, her future wasn’t here.
A window slid open at the side of the building and I padded towards it, careful to keep my footsteps silent. She’d told me Saint hardly slept, but Kyan slept like the dead and luckily, tonight it was his turn to have her in his room. It was strange that two men with so many demons had formed such different habits. Sleep for me came easy enough, I was usually so exhausted by all of the anger and hatred I carried inside of me that by the end of the day, my body craved oblivion just as a reprieve from it. But I often woke to nightmares. Memories of the crash or the imagined memory I’d formed of my mother’s murder where I pictured her surrounded and alone, fighting to stay with me with everything she had before she was overwhelmed.
Tatum tossed a thick winter coat out of the window and I was there to grab her boots for her as she raised them up too.
She slid through the window next, wiggling through the small gap and allowing me to take her into my arms and lift her the rest of the way out.
She didn’t linger in my embrace and that was for the best. I watched as she turned back to the window and pulled it shut again, my gaze falling on Kyan’s empty bed. I guessed he’d chosen to sleep on the couch again like she’d predicted and I thanked our luck for that. Getting her out of here while she’d been sleeping in with one of them would have been near impossible.
Tatum hesitated at my side, looking back in at Kyan’s room with a frown pinching her brow like there was something she wanted to say. But whether it was about him or the other Night Keepers, I didn’t get the chance to ask as she turned away from his window abruptly and quickly pulled on her coat and laced her heavy walking boots.
I held out her coat for her as she stood and she slipped her arms into it, her breath fogging around us as she exhaled shakily.
“Ready?” I asked her.
It was the first day of the Christmas break tomorrow so even if we couldn’t make it back to campus within the day, no one would really miss us. None of the students were allowed to go home if they wished to return to classes in the spring term and I was surprised to find that they’d all stayed willingly. Our walled sanctuary from the Hades Virus was a safe haven that not many people had been afforded and whilst the sickness ran rampant in the rest of the country, we remained safe out here, hidden in the mountains and the forest. I never thought I’d be so glad to be living in the middle of nowhere.
“Ready,” Tatum confirmed with a sharp nod.
She fastened her coat and slipped her fingers into a pair of black gloves before leading the way down the path away from The Temple.
I upped my pace until I fell into step at her side and she gave me a tight smile, her gaze flicking over my head to the huge building which had been her prison and I wondered if that look in her eyes was goodbye.
“I won’t let them punish you for leaving,” I murmured, wondering if she’d just admit that they wouldn’t be able to anyway. That she didn’t plan on ever seeing the Night Keepers again after today.
“Blake doesn’t punish me anymore anyway,” she said softly. “And Kyan would never actually hurt me.”
“What about Saint?” I asked, my voice low and hateful. I knew that despising him on behalf of his father made no real sense, but the rotten apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree with him. He had the same haughty, superior look on his face, the same disdain for anyone not in the top one percent, like dollar bills made him better somehow. More than the rest of us.
“I have a way to handle Saint,” she replied mysteriously, biting into her full bottom lip and upping her pace as we took the paths through the centre of campus.
I pulled my phone from my pocket as we walked and quickly dialled the guard on duty at the front gate.
“You’re up late, boss,” Peter’s voice came as he answered the landline in the booth by the gate.
“I just had a report from a student about strange noises by the wall over near the girls’ dorms. Sounds like a mountain lion or a bear might have gotten close to campus, could you take the unit from the front gate around there with the dogs to frighten it off? Last thing we need is a wild animal causing havoc on top of everything else.”
“Sure thing, boss. You want me to call someone else to come and man the gate, or-”
“Just be quick and I’m sure it’ll be fine,” I replied, sighing like this conversation was boring me even though my heart was thrashing in my chest. I needed them to do as I asked without making a fuss. It would be better for all of us if no one knew we’d left. It was two am which meant we had four hours before Saint got up and at least another hour and a half on top of that before Kyan woke and went back to his room where he’d realise that Tatum had left his bed at some point in the night. But once they knew she’d escaped, they’d be on the hunt and the less they could figure out about where she’d gone, the better.
I shoved my cellphone back into my pocket and exchanged a smile with Tatum as we closed in on the gates.
She waited in the darkness of the trees as I approached them, checking to make sure that the guards were definitely gone before I beckoned her over to follow me. There were thick chains holding the gates closed and though I had a key, it was quicker for us to scale them.
I climbed up the cold iron quickly, vaulting over the top of it and landing in the gravel on the far side. Tatum landed at my side a moment later and we jogged away from the gates, crossing the wide gravel drive and slipping into the trees on the far side of it as I led the way through them to the parking lot. I’d snuck out here last night and made sure my car’s battery was charged for the journey. The school kept equipment for basic maintenance as so many cars were left idle for long periods of time during term so I’d been able to make sure it was ready.
I watched Tatum from the corner of my eye as we passed the rows of shiny sports cars owned by the students here and I led her over to my 68 Mustang. It might not have been a brand new, flashy sports model but I didn’t think those shiny things had a patch on a classic muscle car.
The expression on her face didn’t so much as flicker as she followed me to it. No sign of a bratty pout or disappointment in the fact that it wasn’t worth more than some houses. Nothing to say she had any issue with it at all. And I hoped that was the case. Because there was nothing worse than someone having all that wealth and privilege and taking it for granted. Looking down on people who actually had to work for their money just because they had less. But I was starting to really believe that Tatum wasn’t like that. She wasn’t the cardboard cutout version of the entitled brats I knew too well. And there was something really fucking alluring about what she was that she had me hooked on the idea of finding out.
I unlocked the car and we hurried to climb in. I shrugged out of my jacket and tossed it in the back, shivering as I started up the engine. But I knew that once the heating got going I’d be sweating if I stayed in it.
Tatum tossed her coat in the back too, unlacing her boots and curling her legs beneath her as she got comfortable.
“It’s a long drive,” she said, clipping her seatbelt on and biting her bottom lip as she turned to look at me. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you-”
“Don’t mention it,” I said with a smile, popping the glove box and revealing the sweets and chocolate bars I’d stuffed it with. “Let’s just get high on sugar and enjoy the feeling of getting one over on the Night Keepers.”
Tatum laughed
as she dove on the snacks and I pulled out of the spot, leaving my lights off as I took the gravel drive slowly, hoping not to alert the guards to our presence. When I made it down to the road, I pulled out, flicking the headlights on and putting my foot down as we headed north at a steady pace.
The heating soon warmed the car through and we settled in for a long journey. I just had to hope that at the end of it, I wasn’t going to be saying goodbye to the girl sitting next to me.
I lay awake with a cold and creeping certainty that something was wrong. Wholly and utterly wrong. But I never broke my rules, never got out of bed before Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy called me out of it at six am sharp.
But…there was just something off tonight.
With a growl of frustration which I knew equalled me losing my shit and beating myself up for my own paranoia if I was wrong about this, I threw the covers off of my bed and pushed myself out of it.
I stalked toward the railing which lined the balcony beyond the foot of my bed, stretching my arms above my head and my spine cracked in a satisfying way.
The glow of starlight through the stained glass window fronting the church wasn’t nearly enough to see by and the space below me was little more than patches of darkness in varying depths.
I traced my fingers over the tattoo which curved across my chest, the lines of the script that Kyan had placed upon my flesh so familiar to me that I could follow them even without light to see it by. The days are long, but the nights are dark. That sentiment resounded with me soul deep. Sometimes I wondered if it really was my demons who tortured me in the night or if perhaps it was actually the whispering voice of my conscience desperately trying to cling to life amid the horrors I’d tried so carefully to drown it in.
I headed downstairs on bare feet, following the familiar curving route of the wooden steps easily in the dark before I flicked on a lamp at the foot of them.
Kyan was sprawled on the couch, breathing deeply in sleep, one hand cupping his junk inside his boxers like he was worried someone might try and steal the thing in the night. Though, I guessed after what that whore Deepthroat had tried to do him, maybe it was actually a protective move. The thought of that made my skin prickle uncomfortably but my soul sang a little at the memory of our girl beating the shit out of her in the dirt when she found out what she’d done. I wondered if that moment had seemed as important to Tatum as it had to me. Because the sight of her throwing herself into a fight on behalf of our family had been almost transcendent to me. It felt like her finally taking her place amongst us seriously, fighting for us and standing firm at our sides no matter what. It was the beginning of something truly beautiful. I knew it in the deepest recesses of my dark soul.
My gaze swept around the rest of The Temple. There was nothing out of place, but my soul was still restless, my heart thumping to an uncertain rhythm.
I stalked away from Kyan, checking the front door was locked as I passed it and thinking I spotted a shadow in the trees beyond the window as I glanced out. But when I looked again, there was nothing there.
I almost unlocked the door to go out and make sure of that, but then my gaze fell on Kyan again. It was his night with Barbie and I didn’t like the way he kept skirting the rules which said she had to sleep in his bed by sleeping out here so as not to be with her. I didn’t really understand why the fuck he’d rather be out here than near her anyway. Even if he was determined to stay pissed at her. Even if he truly wanted to believe he hated her. It was clear he still wanted her, so why deny himself like that? It didn’t make any damn sense to me.
I ran my tongue over my teeth, wondering if it had finally happened. If I’d cracked and the voices in my head had actually gotten loud enough to take charge. Although, in all reality, I knew the voices weren’t external. They were just my rambling inner monologue shouting at me in a series of demands or desires which I needed to help temper the panic which liked to creep up on me unawares. They were just a crutch I’d created to help me deal with the things in life that I had the most trouble processing. A system for me to lay out my needs, desires and fears in a way that I could sort through individually when I was feeling overwhelmed. Their thoughts were my own. Even if they were jumbled and loud and aggressive and terrifying sometimes. At least, I hoped so, anyway.
I’d already broken one of my most absolute rules by getting out of bed and opening my eyes before six am. If I went back now without making utterly sure that everything was alright, then I knew there was little chance of me getting any sleep tonight. And I’d probably be on the warpath all day tomorrow too.
I gritted my teeth so hard that I was sure I might crack one if I didn’t ease up, then paced the rest of the way to Kyan’s room.
I hesitated at the door, my heart pounding at the idea of seeing her there, lying in his sheets, swamped in one of his shirts, just like she’d been the morning after they’d broken the rules together. And though Kyan’s position on the couch made it clear that no such thing was happening between them now, I had to wonder why that memory pissed me off so much.
It was the same when I thought about her and Blake. And when I’d watched the two of them touching her the other week, kissing her, making her pant and moan for them as they drew enough pleasure from her body to make her scream, it had fucking infuriated me. But I’d forced myself to sit there and watch. I’d taken command of them too, made them bend the rules in the way that would please me most, but it had enraged me too. To watch them touching her when I ached to. But the rules which bound me didn’t seem to touch them. They just took their punishment for breaking them and did whatever the fuck they pleased. With my girl.
I blew out a breath of frustration through my nose.
Our girl.
I knew what the vow meant. I understood what we’d all agreed to. It was why I’d sat and watched, my cock hard and aching in my slacks as rage, jealousy and lust swirled into a deadly concoction inside me.
But I couldn’t let myself drown in the poison of those thoughts. I refused to give in to the negativity of my feelings about this. About her.
Besides, all I really wanted was to find balance between us. All of us. Where we could temper our worst inclinations with some of our best. And it felt like she helped us to do that sometimes.
She knew just how to sate my rage and my desperate desire for control. And occasionally, in the depths of the night, when my mind finally settled to sleep, I dreamed of her. Not the dark and filthy fantasies I indulged in during the day. But of kissing the tears away from her cheeks when she cried and of holding her in my arms while we slept. And those dreams might have been some of the most disturbing I’d ever had.
I curled my fingers around the door handle, let out a long breath and pushed the door wide.
For a long moment, all I could do was stare into the empty space, my eyes dragging over rumpled sheets and discarded clothes which had been haphazardly tossed towards the hamper.
A dull, empty kind of ache rang hollow in my chest and my pulse pounded in my ears as I just stood there, staring.
I managed to flick the light on, striding into the room, my eyes hunting out every dark and empty space or corner where she might be hiding before I threw open the bathroom door next.
I switched on that light too, my eyes crinkling from the sudden assault of the brightness on them as I easily saw she wasn’t there.
My pace quickened as I threw open the door to Blake’s room, flicking on his light and finding myself actually hoping to discover her pinned beneath him or on top of him or tangled with him in any fucking way rather than finding him alone like that.
“What the fuck, man?” Blake snarled, shielding his eyes as he sat up in alarm, the sheets slipping to pool at his waist and proving beyond a doubt that she wasn’t hiding beneath them.
“She’s gone,” I said simply, no need to state it any more clearly than that. There was only one she any of us gave a damn about. Only one who would up and abandon us.
“What? How?”
he demanded, out of bed in an instant, dragging on sweatpants and looking all around his room like he might spot her hiding beneath one of his discarded socks. His gaze fell on me again and I just stood there, mind whirling, panic circling my heart. “Do you think Toby took her?”
My upper lip peeled back with rage at the idea. Had that fucking stalker come here? Broken in, wrapped a meaty palm over her mouth to stifle her screams as he woke her and then stolen her away from us? Could he have done that quietly enough for me to have missed it? Could that be what had driven me from my bed?
“Search The Temple,” I commanded, turning and striding from the room as I focused on what I needed to do. “If by some miracle she has her phone on her wherever she went, I can find her.”
“How?” Blake demanded.
“I took it from her as a part of one of her punishments and installed tracking software on it,” I said simply. In fact, I’d done that to the rest of the Night Keepers too. Just so I could keep an eye on them, know where they were whenever I needed them.
“That’s…kinda genius and kinda fucked up,” Blake’s voice followed me as I ran back through the church to the stairs which led up to my room.
Blake took on the challenge of waking Kyan and I was treated to a batch of cursing before he managed to explain what was going on. That was followed by more cursing, but it didn’t matter to me. Nothing mattered aside from finding her and bringing her back here to safety.
I snatched my phone from its position on charge beside my bed and quickly opened up the app I needed.
An endless ringing started up in my ears as the map aligned itself, three little dots appearing first to show me, Kyan and Blake all together right here in The Temple. But as it zoomed out, progressively widening the map to allow for a greater distance, I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing.
There were two dots heading north on the highway beyond the school over sixty miles away from us. Tatum and…Monroe.
I dropped onto the edge of the bed as I just stared at those little dots moving further and further away from us.
Kings of Lockdown: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Brutal Boys of Everlake Prep Book 2) Page 58