by Ivy James
“I doubt you did. But subconsciously maybe you hoped something would happen because you chose him.” Tears flooded Alex’s eyes. “How can you deny Luke his child? How can you be that cruel?”
Alex’s accusations hit like physical blows. “Does it have to mean marriage?”
“Why not marry him? We’re talking about Luke. Luke, who has always had a thing for you. Don’t stand there and pretend you weren’t aware of it. You’ve always liked him, too. Make this easy on me and marry him. Put me out of misery because if you don’t, I’m going to have to smack you around.”
A rough laugh left her chest and they both smiled, the tears, the tension, a little lighter due to Alex’s joking threat.
“Alex, I like him. Okay? And I care for him, but like and caring do not make a marriage.”
“Friendship does. And you said yourself you turned to him when you needed someone and he was there for you. Wow, what a horrible trait in a husband.”
“You’re making this personal.”
“It is personal! You slept with my brother. You made a baby with him and now you’re blowing him and all the rest of us off?”
It sounded so awful but it was true. All true. The tension inside her grew, winding tighter and tighter. “It’s complicated.”
Alex muttered under her breath and brushed her knuckles over her lashes. “Shel, if you’d chosen Ethan that night, okay, I’d get why you’d be worried about marriage, because he’s still a horn-dog. But I can’t stress enough that Luke isn’t Ethan.” Alex dropped her hands to her side and huffed. “How can you not want Luke involved in the baby’s life when he’s such a good guy?”
“I know that. It has nothing to do with him not being a wonderful man. He’s…he’s great.”
“Then marry him, for pity’s sake.”
And then what? Divorce him five times? After watching her parents love each other, who could tell if she knew how to love? What she’d told Jerry was true. Love was a moment. “Have you heard nothing I’ve said? It would never work. Even if he lived here, it probably still wouldn’t work. But how would we ever get along when he wants me to move to California? Alex, he wants me to give up everything.”
Alex frowned at her words, deflating. “Really? We’d definitely have to change his mind about living here, but if that weren’t a problem?”
Okay, so maybe she’d stretched the truth a bit about that since Luke technically hadn’t asked her to move to California because she hadn’t given him a chance to. But self-preservation was instinctive. She didn’t want Alex to hate her. “It wouldn’t work.”
“You keep saying that, but I get the impression you’re thinking with your brain and your memories, not your heart.” She stepped close and put her hands on Shelby’s shoulders, shook her gently. “Shel, a baby.”
Shelby closed her eyes when her stomach protested the thought with a nauseating twist. She groaned. “Alex, what am I going to do? I’ve never even babysat.”
Luke’s sister laughed, the sound teary. “I know. And I know you’re scared. I would be, too. But you don’t have to do this alone.”
“That’s what Luke said.”
Alex’s expression hardened, her dark hair and red lipstick very dramatic paired with her red strapless dress. “Because it’s true. You’ve got Luke and me and all of our family to help you. But you can’t shut us out of the baby’s life. And if you do, Luke has every right to sic Garret on you. I’m sorry, but that’s how I feel. The baby belongs to both of you. Where is the fairness in you keeping the baby from him?”
Alex’s statement hurt. But everyone knew blood was thicker than water. What else did she expect? “I didn’t want anything more from Luke than one night. Now suddenly everyone is talking marriage and—It’s crazy.”
“The best laid plans change.” Alex winced. “Bad pun, but you get my drift. Look, it’s done, right? So why not turn everything around?” She pulled Shelby close for a hug. “You two have had a thing for each other for years. Admit it.”
Shelby closed her eyes and struggled to come up with the right answer. “Childhood crushes don’t count. We didn’t even have a crush on each other at the same time. I liked him before I even knew what a French kiss really was and he liked me after—”
“He saw your red bra at a sleepover. Doesn’t matter, though. Shel, it’s way more than a crush when you go to bed together.”
Shelby pulled away. “You’re trying to make it romantic when it was just sex.”
“Let’s not get too detailed, please. That’s my brother you’re talking about, remember?” Alex tugged Shelby over to the rattan love seat and made her sit. “What if…just go with me here for a minute, okay?”
“Do I have to?”
“Yes. What if this wasn’t an accident?”
Shelby lowered her head and stared at her hands. “Rosetta’s saying?”
“Yup. You know Gram’s usually right. So think about it. That night? When you needed someone so badly and Luke was there? When the two of you connected in a way that wasn’t supposed to be possible? That’s a pretty big coincidence, don’t you think?”
“It was sex.”
“Sex that made a baby when you’d just been told you couldn’t have one. Are you seriously telling me that doesn’t strike you as significant?” Alex grabbed her arm and shook her gently. “What if subconsciously, you turned to him because you know your feelings for Luke have always run deeper than friendship? And maybe, just maybe, you thought if there was the slightest chance the doctor was wrong, Luke was it?”
Shelby shook her head that it wasn’t true but…was it?
“Shelby, I know you didn’t do this on purpose. But it happened and you have to do what’s right.”
She buried her face in her hands and moaned. “Now you really sound like Luke. I’m more objective, I think. I know what the best thing is.”
“Refusing him?” Alex got to her feet and stalked away. “Luke will make an amazing father. He’s patient and kind, and you’re not being fair. That’s my niece or nephew you’re carrying.”
“I know! But you know what else? When we divorce, I’ll lose you all. You don’t know what divorce does to people. Nice people, people who’ve always gotten along and loved each other turn nasty and hateful. Nothing would ever be the same. But if we could work something else out, we could still be—”
“A family? Shel—”
A thud hit the outside of the pool house, startling them both, and Shelby used it as an excuse to move to the window. Outside Nick and Matt passed a football back and forth. The ball was on the ground more than in the air, but Nick constantly encouraged Matt in his throws.
Just like Luke would.
Was Alex right? Why had she chosen Luke that night? Had she subconsciously hoped that the doctor was wrong and something would happen?
If she were brutally honest, if she dug deep to that spot within her she’d learned to guard…maybe. Given all Luke’s wonderful qualities, his friendship, the way he’d looked that night, like he understood what it was like to feel out of place.
Alex moved to stand behind her. “They’re cute together, aren’t they?”
Shelby didn’t respond.
Alex wrapped her arms around her and put her chin on Shelby’s shoulder. “Whatever happens, we’ll make it okay. We have to because we’re sisters at heart. You’ve gotta stop running, Shel. You need to face the craziness of your parents and deal with it.”
“I have.”
“Nice try, but you haven’t. Not even close. Every marriage doesn’t end in divorce. Look at Mom and Dad, and Gram and Granddad. What if you and Luke could have that? Would you really throw away your chance because your parents couldn’t get their act together?”
An overwhelming sense of longing caught her by surprise, but it was followed by despair. She wanted her chance, but Alex didn’t understand. “You don’t know what it was like. You were never there during the worst of it. I made sure of that.”
Alex hugged her agai
n. “I know. But I could still tell. Shel, you’re not your mother and you’re not Zacharias Bennington, either. You’re you, and you’re a good person. Can you really deny Luke the chance to be a father? Keep us from the absolute pleasure of watching the baby grow up? It was bad enough only seeing Matt a couple times a year.”
Shelby closed her eyes. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt. That’s what I’m trying so hard to avoid.”
“Denying us hurts worse, Shel. My family, most especially Luke, has given you friendship and love. We wouldn’t take it back for anything, but if you do this, you’re taking it back.”
“That’s low. Alex, I can’t—”
“You can if you want to. The question isn’t whether or not it’s the right thing to do, but whether or not you want what you can have. Are you going to throw it all away?”
Outside, Nick chased Matt in an attempt to get the ball and she smiled sadly when Nick caught his son and swooped him up in the air. Matt’s laughter ran out, loud and innocent.
She could so see Luke doing that. Playing. Laughing. Doing the things fathers did, and deep down, she knew she couldn’t deny him. Not because of what Alex said, but because she was Jerry Brookes’s daughter and Luke had the right to know his child. Who could be that cruel when Luke’s interest was so genuine in a world filled with men who walked away and never came back? Men who never acknowledged their child’s existence.
She felt physically ill at the thought of Luke suing her for custody, so how could she turn around and expect him to play the role of distant parent? What about his rights? It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair, but how could she ask him to make a sacrifice she wasn’t willing to make herself?
Chapter 12
STOP WORRYING,” Garret ordered, careful to keep his voice low. “She’ll come around before we ever get close to filing with the court.”
Garret had gone out to check on things outside, then returned with a status report. The gossips had seen Shelby hurling over the balcony and had drawn their own conclusions—correct ones. According to Garret, everyone now wondered when the wedding date would be, doubling the pressure Luke felt if Shelby continued to refuse him.
“She’s too damn stubborn.”
“She’ll do what’s best for the baby. She might not do it for herself, but Shelby doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to accept half measures. Once she gets used to the idea of being pregnant and having a child, she’ll come around. It’s barely been a week, right? Just give her time.”
Luke sighed at the thought of a court battle. Could he really put her through that? He’d have to if she expected to keep him away. “What’s taking Alex and Shelby so long?”
“Maybe Alex is making progress.”
Maybe. If anyone could convince Shelby to see his side of things, Alex could. But was that what he wanted? For Shelby to have to be talked into marrying him?
“Are you sure about this if Shelby does agree?” Garret glanced around. “Luke, I know how Mom and Dad feel about things, but if Shelby’s dead set against marriage, maybe you should try to work something else out.”
The side door opened, the one Alex had dragged Shelby out of, and one by one the remaining members of his family turned to watch Shelby head straight for him. Alex was two steps behind her and looked a little nervous, like she didn’t know what Shelby was about to do. Not good.
Without a word to Garret, Luke separated himself and met Shelby halfway, aware that all conversation amongst his family had stopped.
“I’ll do it,” Shelby muttered without preamble, her gaze on his chin. “I’ll m-marry you, but only with conditions.”
The rest of his family slowly gathered round. Shelby’s face reddened and Luke couldn’t blame her. He would have liked some privacy for this conversation, but he knew better than to attempt to get it. At least he wouldn’t have to repeat everything a multitude of times since they were all hearing it firsthand. “Ignore them. It’s not like they’d listen if we asked them to go away. What conditions?”
Shelby glanced around, her face reddening even more. Then she squared her shoulders and met his stare. “I’m not moving to California. Regardless of what you do with your job, I’m staying here, living here, and so is the baby.”
She’d marry him but not live with him? Of all the—“Shelby, I can’t move back to Tennessee. I can’t leave my job.”
“That’s my condition. I’m not giving up my home or my plans for the mill house. Period.”
“Luke, you don’t want to whisk her off to California away from everything and everyone she’s ever known, do you? You expect her to have the baby there?”
The way his mother said there made California sound like a foreign country.
“Of course not,” Gram added. “Luke knows how important it is that a pregnant woman be surrounded by family during such an exhausting time. She needs support and help. And if he’s always working, the right thing to do is let her stay home.”
Wouldn’t her home be with him? Why were they taking her side? This was his life, too. His baby and, if she said yes, his wife. He’d support her. Help her. Shouldn’t that be enough? Heat crept up his neck and into his face. His own family supported her instead of backing him up. Then again, it wasn’t a surprise, not considering how they felt about his life so far from home. “I can’t move back to Tennessee.”
“Then don’t.” Shelby’s lower lip trembled, but she acted like it didn’t. “If you want to live and work there, fine. But I’m not moving and when the baby comes, it stays here with me and our families. You can…come home on weekends.”
The last of her statement was ingenious on her part, guaranteed to keep his family happy and make him look like the bad guy. And it worked. As one, his relatives nodded in agreement, sliding him looks that were a combination of chiding, coaxing and amusement.
Stock-still, he glared into Shelby’s set features. She actually expected him to agree to her being his weekend wife? No freaking way.
Garret stepped close to his side, turning so that his back was to Shelby and the majority of the crowd. “Shut up and listen before you say something you regret. Shelby’s counting on you to say no,” he pointed out. “If you want her, you’re going to have to jump through the hoop and deal with the fallout later. You wanted marriage and you’re getting it this way. Say yes.”
Luke ran a hand over his shaggy head and noted his father’s gaze followed the movement. Alan’s expression reeked of disapproval. His hair, his occupation. Living in big, bad California and playing video games wasn’t a job according to his physician father, but designing them so others could waste their time? That was even worse. Toss in Shelby’s pregnancy and he was a great big wad of disappointment. No wonder Nick hadn’t spoken to the family for so many years.
“Say yes,” Garret ordered. “Now.”
Why did Shelby have to make everything so difficult? “Yes,” he snapped. “I accept.”
“There, see?” Gram sent him a wink.
Shelby gaped at him, her mouth falling open in surprise. Garret was right. She really had expected him to back off and not agree to her stubborn stipulation.
“That’ll do. For now,” Gram murmured, flashing Luke the same smile his grandfather had once claimed had the power to knock a man on his ass and leave him senseless.
But he wasn’t his grandfather. His family had been after him for years to move back, at least live within a few hours’ driving distance. But California was the hub for what he did and he had to stay there. Could they see that? No, they expected him to drop a lucrative career to move back and do what?
It took him a moment to realize Shelby still looked thunderstruck by his agreement. He decided to take advantage of her silence, before she could change her mind or think of something else to add to her list of conditions. Pulling the velvet box from his jacket pocket, he dug the ring from the folds.
“What—Now?”
Luke ignored Shelby’s hushed question. He snagged her hand and slipped the ri
ng on her finger, waiting for her reaction. But all she did was curl her fingers into a fist and stare at the pear-shaped emerald surrounded by two layers of diamonds. He’d never considered her a diamond solitaire kind of woman and had bought the ring the moment he’d laid eyes on it. Had he made a mistake? Did she want something more traditional?
“It’s…beautiful.”
“It matches your eyes.”
“Is Uncle Luke going to kiss her?” Matt asked from the sidelines.
Luke hadn’t realized Nick and his son had entered the dining room, but Luke smiled at his nephew’s suggestion. Not a bad idea. At least in that he and Shelby got along.
Luke lowered his head for a kiss only to find his lips brushing the corner of Shelby’s mouth when she turned her head. In response, he slipped his fingers into her hair and held her gently, brushing another kiss along her cheek then across her lips. She trembled and that, more than anything, cut through the haze of turmoil attacking his overloaded brain. Shelby was scared. Anyone in her right mind would be scared, and Shelby had more reason than most. He’d have to remember that. Adjust and make allowances. “We’ll make this work.”
“You’re delusional if you really believe that.”
Luke held back a husky laugh. There was his happy bride.
“So, we making the announcement tonight?” Ethan asked.
Luke stared at Shelby’s averted face and knew he couldn’t give her too much time to gather her flagging emotions. He searched his mind for a suitable date and then had a brainstorm of his own. “Yeah. And I’d like you to be here for the ceremony.”
“But…Luke, your brother leaves in a few days.” His mother exchanged a look of concern with Gram. She no doubt worried at the suddenness of it—and the planning. But his mother was good, the ultimate charity event organizer, and he knew she could pull something together in the time allotted, blindfolded and with her hands tied behind her back. “I suppose we could go to Pigeon Forge tomorrow,” he suggested, knowing full well his family wouldn’t go for that.