by Ivy James
She hadn’t thought of it that way. But wasn’t that what she was asking? Shelby raised her head and glared at Luke, but instead of intimidating him, Luke stood his ground and stared into her soul, made her feel vulnerable and angry.
Her sense of foreboding expanded, and when she couldn’t take Luke’s stare any longer, she nodded slowly. That was what she wanted. If he didn’t acknowledge the baby, they could go on with their lives. She could raise the baby and—
Turn it into your dirty little secret?
Disappointment changed to fury, resignation, and drew his mouth into a tight line. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I’ll call Garret and get the ball rolling.”
She blinked. His brother, Garret, was one of the best attorneys in the state. “With what?”
“Getting custody of my child.”
Her breath froze in her chest and it took her several seconds to shake off the shock. “What?”
“You don’t leave me any choice.”
“You’d take the baby from me?”
Luke scrubbed both hands over his face briskly. “I don’t want to, but if you won’t marry me and give us a shot, then, yes, I’ll do what I have to do. I’m going to be an active father, Shelby, not one missing in action.”
The queasiness became full-fledged nausea and she swallowed repeatedly.
“I won’t argue visitation. You can come to California to see us whenever you like.”
Come to—“You can’t do this. How would you take care of a child and work?”
“The same way you would.”
The scent of his cologne teased her nostrils. She’d been so sensitive to scents lately. Food, flowers. But Luke’s smell sent a shiver over her spine and the queasiness abated, just a tad. But that didn’t make sense.
“Shelby, I don’t want it to be this way. I want us to come to terms, for both of us to be involved in our baby’s life. Marriage was—is the way to do that.” Luke moved toward the door but jerked his thumb toward the window. “I left something for you in your car.”
“What is it?”
Luke hesitated, his hand on the knob. “I doubt you’ll like it but I thought—” A wry smile pulled at his lips. “I don’t know what I thought. I’d hoped you’d come around. I went to see a friend and was walking by a store when I remembered how much you hate to shop. It was in the window and…I could see you in it.” A dull hue rose in his face. “I knew you wouldn’t find anything like it around here, and you used to like surprises.”
She still did—when they were good surprises. But in an instant she knew what the gift was and, like the baby, it wasn’t a good surprise. “You bought me a wedding dress?” How arrogant. Every woman wanted to pick out her own dress. Yet the gesture was also sweet because Luke was right about the shopping thing. She hated it, having spent too many hours trapped in the car with her mother driving to the mall for marathon retail expeditions.
“Maybe you can sell it online or something.”
“Luke, please, don’t do this. We wouldn’t stand a chance. My life is here. Yours is there. Whoever compromises loses.”
“Only if you choose to look at it that way.” He opened the door but paused again. “Shelby, we don’t have any more obstacles between us than every other couple out there. Garret and Darcy, Nick and Jenn. They’re still settling in and getting used to one another, but we’ve known each other forever. We even like each other, despite all this. Geographically, we’d have to figure something out, but that night? I’m smart enough to know that type of experience doesn’t come along every day.”
Memories swept over her, through her. “It was the moment, nothing else.”
“It wasn’t the moment, it was us. The two of us together. The child you carry was made by you and me and it should be raised the same way, together. Sweetheart, I’m going to ask one last time. Will you marry me?”
Shelby shook her head, shocked. “Those are the only two options you’ll consider? Marriage or court?”
“If we both set our minds to it—”
“Set our minds to it,” she repeated with a rough laugh, her hand over her stomach, like the baby wasn’t hearing every word, like she could protect it from their harsh tones. “Think about what you just said. Doesn’t that tell you something? We shouldn’t have to set our minds to it. We should want to get married.”
“I do.”
Shelby turned back to the window. “Well, I don’t. I won’t marry you.”
Chapter 11
HOW DO YOU WIN an argument when the other side holds all the cards?
Two hours later Luke leaned against the railing beside the table where his family sat and pushed his food around on his plate, his appetite gone. After being angry enough that he had called Garret for legal advice, he’d gone for a walk around the grounds to cool off and avoid his family and the guests attending Ethan’s party.
What was he going to do? How could he convince Shelby to take a chance? And if she didn’t, how would he raise a baby in California alone? He’d have to hire a nanny, but did he want someone else raising his son or daughter? Maybe he could arrange to work from home part of the time so he’d be there for the baby. His job was important to him but it wasn’t as important as family. But how did he make the compromise between work and his personal life? Was this what Shelby meant in that whoever compromised, lost?
He almost wished for the good old days when he could guarantee a shotgun wedding by informing their parents. It still wasn’t out of the question. One word to Shelby’s mother and Luke knew the woman would be all over the idea of being related to the Tulane name via marriage. But since he doubted Shelby was speaking to her mother at the moment, Pat’s reaction would only serve to make Shelby more determined not to marry him.
“Take it down a notch, little brother. Gram’s picking up on your frustration with Shelby.”
Luke stiffened and turned his attention to Ethan. His brother stood beside him while the rest of the guests mingled in the cloud-dappled sunlight beneath the tabled umbrellas and awnings.
When Ethan’s comment registered, Luke shifted his attention to Gram and found her gazing at him with her ever-knowing blue eyes. “How long has she been watching me?”
“Long enough. You doing it on purpose? You haven’t taken your eyes off Shelby since she stepped outside. Gram’s got to be wondering why.”
He wasn’t doing anything on purpose but how could he not stare at Shelby? Pale before their discussion in the conference room, the mother of his child now looked ghostly. Despite her makeup, dark circles detracted from the beauty of her green eyes and her face was nearly the color of the clouds above their heads, her hair lacking its usual bouncy shine. Add the red hives visible on her neck above the high collar she wore, and the overall image was something to be worried about.
Shelby was a basket case of nerves, and stress wasn’t good for her or the baby. She was angry with him over his decree that he’d sue for custody and he wasn’t too pleased with himself for blurting that out. But her cold reaction to him had made him too angry to guard his words.
It wasn’t a new trait on her part. He’d seen her shut down many times over the years. Shelby would argue up to a point, then simply shift to silence like a flipped switch. She internalized her upset. He knew, because the hives would appear, and she’d start doing this thing where she’d pause and take a deep breath, like she was so overwhelmed she couldn’t breathe. He’d seen her do it in the conference room, again when she’d stepped out the patio doors. He didn’t want to be the one to do that to her, make her feel that way. He wanted the baby, but he wanted her happiness, too. Wanted her, a life, sex and fun and all the things Gram and Grandad had had during their long marriage together. Pressuring her wasn’t the answer. He had to find another way, change his approach.
“Look who I found.”
Luke turned at Alexandra’s statement, his whole body going on high alert. As one, all of the male members of his family seated at the table stood. He and Ethan straig
htened from their slouched positions.
Shelby waved a hand that trembled. “Please, sit down. I just came by to say hello and to wish Ethan a safe journey,” she murmured, her gaze skittering away in a hurry when it landed on him.
Ethan pulled Shelby into a hug. “Thanks, sweetheart. Why don’t you join us?” He sent Luke a taunting smirk that told him to eat his heart out.
“Sorry, I’m working. Thank you, though.”
“Mr. Long is a reasonable fellow,” his father said, holding Alex’s chair for her to be seated. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you took a short break and joined us.”
“Shelby, please do. You look a little pale, dear.” Gram smiled. “Ethan, get Shelby a chair.”
“I’m fine. I—”
Ethan snagged a chair from a nearby table and practically shoved Shelby’s legs out from under her. Luke didn’t argue the treatment, especially since the move placed Shelby closest to him where he leaned against the railing.
Shelby’s eyes widened to the size of silver dollars when she saw the lobster on the table in front of her. Luke saw her swallow several times and what little color she had in her cheeks faded. He stiffened, wondering what he should do but unsure how to get her out of there without attracting too much attention.
“I’m, uh, sure Mr. Long is looking for me. I’d really better…go.” Shelby shoved the chair back with a surge of movement that knocked it against the railing with a sharp clang. “Oh, I’m sorry. I—”
Luke snagged her arm when she practically wove a circle on her feet. “Are you all right?”
Panic crossed her features and for the first time that day, he saw a crack in her protective shell. She actually looked at him as though asking for help, her eyes expressing everything she couldn’t. And in that moment he vowed to do whatever he had to make her believe in him. His job, his life, nothing would be worthwhile unless Shelby and their baby were at his side.
“Shelby, are you sick again?” Alex asked. “She was sick last week, too. That’s why she didn’t stay for the wedding.”
“Shelby, sit down. Alan, why don’t you—”
“I’m fine.” Air wheezed out of her lungs and a white line circled her mouth. “Really.”
“You don’t look it.” Alex scooted her chair back and moved around the table to where Shelby stood in his hold. “You look like you’re ready to hurl. Sit down.” Alex pressed Shelby back into the chair, not taking no for an answer.
“Her blood sugar might be low. Maybe she should eat something,” Ethan said.
His brother’s suggestion appeared perfectly innocent, but the look Ethan gave Luke was anything but.
“No, I—”
Alex grabbed a plate of food and shoved it under Shelby’s nose. “He’s right. You know how you get when you don’t eat. The lobster is divine, and you should try some of—Shelby?”
Luke grimaced when Shelby clamped a hand over her mouth and shoved Alex and the plate of food out of the way just in time to stumble to her feet and bend over the railing.
The entire female population of his family scrambled out of their chairs, patting Shelby on the back, bringing water and napkins, tissues. Even his father stood at the ready in case she collapsed. Everyone but him, Ethan and…Gram. Luke avoided eye contact.
“The last time I got sick that quickly was when I was preg—Oh.” Darcy’s words trailed off into stunned silence. His sister-in-law pasted a weak smile to her face and bounced the baby in her arms, glaring up at her husband. “You could’ve told me why Luke wanted custody advice.”
Darcy’s whisper carried and all eyes turned to him. Luke chose to keep his silence.
“What’s going on?” Alex demanded. “What legal advice? Something for Shelby?”
“We should take this inside,” Luke suggested quietly. “Away from the guests.”
Alex’s gaze locked on Shelby’s face and her mouth dropped as she apparently formed her own conclusion.
Shelby opened her mouth but no words came, not even a denial.
Before Luke could be too pleased with the pregnancy news being forced out in the open, his gut twisted because Shelby squared her shoulders and lifted her chin high, battle-ready despite her sickness.
“Let’s go inside,” he said, grasping Shelby’s arm. “Will someone make our excuses?”
“I will.” Darcy made a face. “Shelby, I’m sorry. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I know how gossip gets started and I hope you’ll forgive my blunder.”
Shelby managed a smile before he ushered her inside the country club, glad to see the dining room virtually empty. His immediate family congregated in a corner and all eyes turned to Shelby. He sought Alex’s gaze and nodded toward the hall exit. Lucky for him, his sister got the hint.
“Um, Shel? Let’s go to the ladies’ room so you can freshen up.”
Without a word, Shelby and Alex walked away and he watched as Shelby did that struggle-to-take-a-breath thing again.
“Luke?” his father prodded.
“I’m the father.” He forced himself to meet his father’s disapproving stare. “I called Garret to ask about getting custody of the baby because Shelby has refused to marry me.”
A roar of outrage and exclamations met his words as everyone began talking at once. Luke listened with half an ear, his attention tuned to Shelby’s every movement. She hadn’t made it to the bathroom yet and at the sound of everyone’s protest she faltered, paused, then took off like a shot.
YOU SAID NO? Why?” Alex demanded of Shelby as they continued to the ladies’ room.
Alex would have to have had superhero-like hearing to catch Luke’s quiet announcement to the rest of the family.
Shelby had a hard time pulling her gaze from the windows. Outside, busybody Mrs. Forbes yakked away to an equally nosy Mrs. Thomason. Both women alternately nodded and shook their heads and she could only imagine what was being said. Had they seen her getting sick? Did they know why most of Luke’s family had left their guests to come inside?
“Shelby? Why won’t you marry Luke?” Alex demanded impatiently.
Shelby forced herself to focus, wishing she was anywhere but there. “Because I don’t think it’s the answer.” She pinched the crease of her forearm in an effort to stop the itching. “And it was an accident,” she murmured, avoiding Alex’s ever-watchful eyes. “Two wrongs won’t make the situation better.”
“But it will,” Alex argued. “You know it will.”
Shelby shoved her hair off her face. “I need to get back to work before I get fired.”
“Dad will handle Mr. Long. Come on,” Alex ordered, grabbing Shelby’s hand and tugging. Shelby reluctantly let Alex pull her toward a side exit and out into the late-afternoon sunshine, but only because doing so got her away from everyone. What a nightmare. Luke’s parents knew, her mother still didn’t know, and she’d never hear the end of that.
Amazingly, Alex remained quiet until they reached the pool house. Replete with a bathroom, changing closets and a lounge area, the pool house had been the spot for a lot of their girl chats growing up, basically because the boys weren’t allowed inside. Luckily it was empty, but the moment the door closed, Alex planted her hands on her hips and glared.
“Luke?”
“I’m sorry.” Shelby moved to the sink and turned on the tap, cupping her hand and pooling the water to rinse her mouth.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Alex demanded. “You’re really pregnant?”
Shelby nodded, eyes closed.
“If you’re having symptoms now, it obviously happened a while ago. When? And why won’t you marry him?”
Shelby met Alex’s gaze in the mirror and noted her friend looked hurt and angry and on the verge of tears. Everything she was afraid Alex would be. Only friends had the power to hurt each other this way. “I didn’t tell you because he’s your brother and it shouldn’t have happened.” She turned off the faucet and grabbed some paper towels. “As to why?” She groaned. “Where do I start?”
“I wasn’t planning on it. Neither was Luke. It just happened.”
“And yet you took the risk of getting pregnant? That doesn’t sound like either of you. You’re two of the most responsible people I know.”
Normally, yes. Not that she had a lot of experience, but she’d always protected herself the few times sex had been an issue. Avoiding eye contact, Shelby explained about her doctor visit. “I was upset and angry and totally freaked-out. I know it’s no excuse but I needed someone. That’s all I can say. I totally lost it because thinking you don’t want kids because of a horrific childhood is one thing, but being told you can’t have them? I was heading home after a lousy day and there he was and—I don’t know. We started talking and then we were kissing and then…it happened.”
Alex stepped in front of her. “From what you just said, it sounds like you picked Luke for a reason.”
Picked him? “No. It was an accident. He was there.”
“So were a lot of other guys, but you chose Luke. And you took a risk you’ve never taken before. There has to be a reason for that.”
What did Alex want her to say? Her reaction wasn’t what Shelby was expecting at all. “I thought I couldn’t get pregnant.” She ran her hands through her hair and shoved it off her face. “It was a moment. I—I felt like I’d been slammed against the wall and I couldn’t breathe and—”
“And we’re back to the fact you chose Luke when any guy there could’ve given you sex. But you didn’t want that, did you?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Alexandra’s violet eyes narrowed shrewdly. “Yes, you do. Oh, Shel, you could’ve picked up anyone, but you didn’t. And you can’t stand there and tell me there wasn’t more to your decision than the fact Luke was there. The doctor said you couldn’t have kids. Do you think maybe you wondered if something were to happen, of all the men to choose Luke would be—”
“What? No.” She shook her head firmly back and forth. “I didn’t plan it at all!”