His Reckless Heart (The Montgomery Boys Book 1)

by Jessica Mills

  Around her, the staff was starting to clean up for the night. I had no hesitation in thinking they would just straighten up around her, vacuum the carpet under her as she moved her feet, and get everything locked up and ready for the next day while she was still in her own world.

  Instead of letting that happen, I finished the sweet tea I ordered as my follow-up to my water, and I went out onto the dance floor. Taking her wrist, I spun her into me. Shannon grinned as she looked up at me.

  “Where’s Sara?” she asked.

  “She already left,” I told her. “She said to let you know she will call you this weekend. She wants to have a cookout soon.”

  “That sounds like fun,” she said.

  “It does,” I agreed. “You know what else sounds like fun? Going home so everybody around here can, too.”

  Shannon gave a teasing pout. “That doesn’t sound like fun at all.”

  “Let’s do it anyway,” I suggested.

  She rose up on the balls of her feet and kissed the tip of my nose. “Fine,” she said. “Just kill my buzz.”

  I laughed and took her hand. “I don’t think anything is killing your buzz any time soon, baby.”

  She wasn’t drunk. She’d stopped drinking about an hour before last call and was just riding the tipsiness of the drinks she had before that.

  There was a time when the thought of going out to the bar, especially The Junction, and not even having one beer would be unimaginable for me. It was just part of the night, something I did when I was socializing.

  Now, I realized I was depending on the alcohol for something else. Those drinks weren’t just to relax and have fun. They were to quiet the voices in my head and obliterate the images that came to mind when I didn’t actively try to keep them away. It was easier to just knock back a few drinks and let the alcohol take me away from everything that happened than it was to actually confront it.

  That was something I was working on in therapy. Terry encouraged me not to run away from the memories that were painful and triggering. Instead, she told me to sit with them. To let them exist in my head and work my way through them.

  Everything I experienced during my time in the service would always be with me. I would never be able to take those memories completely away or pretend none of those things happened. They did and they changed me. But they didn’t have to make me a different person or ruin my life.

  Facing those moments, particularly the ones I had done my best to put behind me and never think about again, was difficult. I would never try to say it was simple or that I never got emotional during my sessions. There were times when I was terrified or deeply sad. There were even moments when I was angry and didn’t want to keep going. But I did.

  It was still early, and there was a lot of work left to do, but I could see the benefits. There was hope where there hadn’t been before, and I clung to that when things got harder. That was the biggest reason I decided not to drink for a while. Like I told Shannon, I wanted a clear head and total control over my thoughts. It wouldn’t be forever. I wasn’t going to have to totally change my life and everything about it just to keep my PTSD under control. But for now, I would make concessions in order to make progress.

  “I didn’t see your truck out in the parking lot,” I said.

  Shannon shook her head. “Sara and I walked,” she told me. “Will you walk me home?”

  “I could drive you,” I offered.

  Shannon shook her head again. “No. I want to walk. It’s been a long time since we could just walk together.”

  I chuckled and nodded. “Walking it is then. I have a lot of missed walks to make up for. Fortunately, I also have a lot of time to make them up in.”

  Shannon and I held hands as we walked toward her apartment. She babbled as we went, occasionally turning around to walk backward as she talked. I loved listening to her.

  Even if it didn’t all make sense, it was fun just hearing what she had to say. Just being there so I was able to hear it. I could have kept walking with her and listening to her all night. But the walk to her loft wasn’t too long, and soon, I was unlocking the door for her.

  She dropped down onto the couch and kicked off her shoes, letting her head fall back onto the cushion. I had eaten far more of the fried pub food than Shannon did and it seemed she needed something to eat. It would help her get over her tipsiness and reduce the impact of the alcohol the next day. Nothing was worse after a fun night out than waking up with a raging hangover and not even being able to enjoy the memories of the night.

  Going into her kitchen, I put together a quick meal of grilled cheese and tomato soup. I served it alongside a big glass of water and encouraged her to get it all in.

  Shannon didn’t argue but eagerly dug into the buttery golden sandwich and gulped down several sips of the water. I waited there with her until she finished eating, then sent her off to get ready for bed. When she was changed, I helped her into bed. She crashed almost the instant her head hit the pillow and I smiled down at her. I kissed her on her forehead and pulled the blankets up close around her, then made my way back into the living room.

  Her big dog, Beau, sat in the middle of the floor, his tail wagging and his eyes big and wide with anticipation.

  “You want to go for a walk, buddy?” I asked.

  His tail moved over the floor faster, and I took that as a yes. I found his leash and hooked him up. Then we slipped out of the apartment so we didn’t wake Shannon up. The pup walked happily alongside me as we went down Main Street. It was quiet and for the most part sleeping this late at night, but there was still energy and life in it. I felt like I was seeing it through different eyes. It wasn’t just familiar and a part of my past. There was a future here. Of course, my real future was with the girl sleeping beneath the stained-glass window in her loft apartment, but this place could be my future, too. It could be home.

  After a long walk, I brought Beau home. I had no intention of going back to the ranch that night. I climbed into bed beside Shannon and cuddled up close to her. It had been almost two hours since she first went to bed, and that seemed like enough time for the alcohol to leave her system. I hadn’t been lying there for long when she rolled into me and pressed her lips to mine in a sweet kiss.

  “I love you, Jesse Montgomery,” she murmured, still sounding half asleep.

  “I love you, too, Shannon Dailey.”

  She still smelled like her perfume, and the faint wisp of fruity cocktails was in her breath, and I smiled. I rolled into her so we lay sideways in the bed together, and I pulled her into me. The softness of her lips was at odds with the grinding of her hips into mine.

  She might not have been fully awake, but a part of her was, and it wanted the same thing I did. It was dark in the room, and I couldn’t see her, but I felt her fingers trace my face and slide down my chest. Whatever inhibitions normally existed were gone in the still tipsy, still half asleep, instinctual desire that motivated her movements.

  I slid my fingers behind her head and pulled her lips into mine for a deep, long kiss, our tongues sliding across one another, dancing with each other. Her hand slid down into my boxers and her fingers curled around the base of my hardened cock. She squeezed it and cooed, and I slid my hand down her stomach to match it. Our lips broke apart for her to make a whimpering sound as my hand slipped between her thighs and my fingers pressed into her wet pussy through the soft panties she wore.

  I moaned as she began to stroke me through the boxers, and I pressed my mouth against her neck, feeling her pulse quicken under my touch and knowing that whatever sleepiness was there was gone now. She was wide awake and hungry for my body to be inside of hers. I clenched my hand and rubbed the pad of my finger over her clit and she squeezed my cock while she moaned.

  Slipping my fingers underneath her panties, she pulled one leg up to set her foot on the bed, opening herself to me, and I slid a digit inside. She was hot and wet and ready for me already, but I ran my thumb up her sensitive folds unti
l it found her clit anyway. The combination of my touch inside and outside of her made her shiver and cry out again, her free hand grasping at my wrist, holding me as if to beg me to stay.

  She rocked her hips into me, and the hand that gripped my cock let go, only to yank at the waistband of my boxers, pulling them down as far as she could until I balanced myself with my hip above the bed. As soon as they were near my knees, she reached out and pulled at them, yanking them out of the way so my erect cock was easily where she could take it in her hand.

  She stroked me and I moaned in pleasure as I pulled my hand away from her. Now it was my turn to tear her clothes off, and I got her shorts off in record time. Suddenly, she sat up and pulled the shirt away, and I reached up to fill my hands with her breasts in the darkness.

  Chapter 38

  Shannon

  I wanted him inside me, but I also wanted to feel his tongue on me again. He was so intuitive with his touch, and my desire for it overrode everything else in the darkness. There was nothing to stop me here, no inhibitions or worries. No hang-ups about how I would look or anything. I was naked in the darkness, and Jesse wanted me as much as I wanted him, and I knew exactly how to make us both happy.

  Spinning in the bed, I got to my knees and pressed down on his chest. Jesse lay back easily, and I swung one leg over his head so I faced away from it. I straddled him and began trailing kisses down the line from his belly to his cock, and he positioned himself to be comfortable between my thighs. His tongue slid through my folds, and I temporarily lost the ability to think. The tip swirled around my clit and then gently prodded it while his hands filled themselves with my cheeks. His face was buried in my core and it took everything to focus on pleasuring him too.

  I kept my stroking rhythm until my lips were at the head of his cock. Letting my tongue swirl around it, I slid down one side, wetting him before stroking him again. He groaned at the touch of my tongue on his shaft, and I delighted in making that sound come out of him. Positioning my mouth above him, I slid him inside, sucking to keep my cheeks close to his shaft and pushing myself down as far as I dared to go. When the head tickled the back of my throat, I bobbed up again, stroking him as I did, until I reached the head before diving down again.

  For a moment, his tongue stopped exploring me, and I knew he was experiencing the same pleasure I was. I loved knowing I could bring him such ecstasy with my lips, and I began to take him into me at a rhythm, sliding my hands up his thick long shaft as I did and turning near the end. Occasionally, I let him slide out of my mouth and I would run my tongue down the shaft while I stroked him into my breasts. He groaned loudly and went back to licking me, pressing a finger deep inside me and causing me to cry out as well.

  We stayed that way for a while, pleasuring each other with our mouths before I felt a wave of climax washing over me. Leaning into it, I pressed down into his mouth, arching my back to present more of me to him. He could sense my need for release, and he clasped my hips to hold himself in place. His tongue slid in me and one thumb roamed until it found my clit and pressed in. The wave crashed over me, and I pressed my pussy into him, crying out in short staccato bursts as I came.

  When my legs stopped shaking and I felt like I could hold my weight again, I lifted my leg to release him. Curling up between his legs and being able to look up into his face now that my eyes had adjusted to the dim moonlight in the room, I continued stroking him into my mouth. His hands filled with strands of my wild hair, uncombed before bed, and a wave of even stronger desire for him ran through me as he wrapped the hair around his hand and pulled. Something about the dominance in that move and the way he guided me faster made my core tingle and I became determined to feel his release in my throat.

  Jesse moaned loudly and his legs tensed, meaning he was close. I looked up at him as I bobbed up and down on him at his command, stroking him constantly. Suddenly, he went stock still, and his hot, sticky climax filled my mouth and ran down my throat. I milked him until he stopped shaking and then released him from my lips, expecting to curl up and sleep despite the fire still burning in my core.

  But he must have known. Instead, he rolled me over, turning me away from him, and lifted one leg as he positioned himself behind me on my side. Suddenly, he was inside me, pumping hard until he filled me with his thick cock, and I arched back to grab his head and pull him in for a kiss. With each thrust, he got impossibly deep inside me and I groaned in pleasure. Thanking myself for staying limber, I lifted my leg as high as I could and he positioned himself to gain control. His rhythm increased and I felt the walls of my pussy expanding to meet the demands of his insistent cock as he fucked me from behind. My free hand reached behind him to grab his ass and pull him harder into me with each thrust. He was so deep that it was pressing against the line between pleasure and pain, but I didn’t mind it. I wanted to cross that line if it meant he could climax again.

  Without speaking, he sat up, pulling me with him. Now sitting on my knees, I reached ahead to grab the baseboard of the bed, and his fingers wrapped around my hips. I rolled my hips back into his and his thumbs slid under my ass cheeks, pulling them apart to let himself even deeper inside me. Every thrust was met with the slap of our skin, and I moaned in tremendous pleasure. I knew I would come again, but I wanted to stay like this forever. His body inside mine, me open and submissive to his body rocking, thrusting, fucking me with his entire soul. I wanted to drain him completely so that there was nothing left but the heartbeat inside him that I could lay my head on and sleep.

  His speed increased and an animal-like sound rumbled from his belly as he gripped me hard enough that it almost hurt. I grinned at the feeling, the knowledge that I was his so totally that I would willingly let him dominate me this way. It was different from before when he would control the pace. It was less forceful, less insistent. But now he was fully himself, fully realized, and he had shown me the depth to which he worshiped me in the same way I worshiped him. Our bodies were there for each other, and would pleasure each other totally, and whatever he needed from me, I would provide. At this moment, that meant he needed control, to feel powerful and strong like I knew he was all the time anyway. But he wanted the proof. And I spread my legs to give it to him.

  Jesse filled me with his cock, fucking me hard for a few minutes while I writhed in his grasp. I was being overloaded with sensory input, still feeling a little of the alcohol from earlier letting my guard down and keeping my body loose, making it so that every touch was even stronger, more pronounced than before. When his arms reached under me to pull me with him as he rolled onto his back, I let him take me without resisting. I found myself sitting on him, facing away still, and he was sitting up, his back against the headboard.

  His hands filled themselves with my breasts as I began to grind onto him. I wanted to feel him as deep inside of me as I could make him, and I tried to take it all. When I felt I couldn’t take any more of him, I rocked up and then pressed back down again, bouncing on his hard cock and letting my hands rest on my knees for balance. One hand left my breasts and slid down my stomach to my core and I cried out as the pad of his middle finger found my clit. I raised myself back up and leaned backward into him, rocking on him rather than bouncing. While his finger rubbed me, our lips met for another kiss. His free hand stretched across my chest, gathering both my breasts in his arm and hand, and even though I was on top of him, I felt like he was in control.

  He guided me to rock on him as he pressed into my core and I felt another wave beginning to wash over me. My voice rose in short bursts as I clenched my eyes shut and rocked harder. His finger kept pressing, teasing my clit, and I reached back to grab the headboard behind him, pulling myself deeper into him and presenting my chest even more. His voice began to rise with mine and the sound of our voices mixing in pleasure sent me over the edge. I came hard on him, my body unable to control itself as I bucked and writhed on him, but his finger never stopped, and his hips began to rock with me.

  When I no longer c
ould control anything, he laid me down and turned me back over so I faced him. Burying himself in me again, he wrapped one arm around my neck to pull me into another kiss and the other under my thigh to lift one leg. My eyes had rolled back, and I was in a constant state of ecstasy as his cock filled me. His voice began to turn from cries to grunts. I knew he was nearing his own second orgasm, and I focused on him again.

  Our eyes locked on one another, and my lips slid open but no sound came out. I felt hot and sweaty, and a tingling sensation went from the top of my head down my spine to my toes. My perky, erect nipples pointed up at him and he took one into his mouth as his speed increased again. I grabbed a handful of his sweat-filled hair and leaned back to focus on clenching my walls around him. I wanted his climax. I needed his climax.

  When I opened my eyes again, he moved to being fully on top again. He pulled my legs together so that my knees touched and turned them sideways. Now fucking me sideways with my back flat on the bed, our eyes remained locked together as his fingers dug into my thighs. He was close now, and I wanted him to have that release. Yet another orgasm was on the horizon and I was trying to hold off, to wait, to match with his.

  The guttural growl increased in his chest, and I clawed at his back where I could reach him. His eyes were wild but determined as he hovered over me, his hips slamming into me with abandon. One hand slid up my chest and grasped my breast. I clamped my hand over it and brought it to my mouth, taking his thumb inside and swirling my tongue around it. He groaned between the grunts and his thrusts became harder, faster, the intensity ratcheting up as he got closer and closer.

  “Please,” I whispered hoarsely. “Come for me.”