Walter The Homeless Man

by Tekoa Manning

  Clark came out of the back wearing some tight, faded jeans with a rip in the left knee, a white button down shirt and a pair of cowboy boots. He sat next to her and ordered a Guinness on tap, the dark thick beer always made Marcie sick, but he seems to relish it. “What are you going to do now, Marcie?”

  “Oh, I’m going to the pizza pub, you can count on that.” She turned the shot glass up and sucked on the lime, then licked the salt off her hand. She wanted answers, she wanted the truth, and she wanted to hear it out of Benjamin’s mouth.

  She pulled out another smoke, just as Scott sat down another shot of tequila, “Compliments of the gentleman to your left.”

  Marcie turned and eyed the business man. He had thick, black, curly hair and a tan that was much too dark for the winter. He had a shot in his hand and was lifting it towards her. Marcie scooted her bar stool over and held hers up to him with a grin. She did a count and they both took the shot in unison. “Thanks,” she said, licking her thin lips, which were unnoticeable due to her large striking eyes. “I’m Marcie, and you are?”

  “Hello, lovely lady, I’m Steve and I was just admiring your beauty.” He smiled and nodded his head.

  Clark turned and gave the older man a look that said back off and grabbed Marcie’s hand. “Now look, there’s no need for you to go looking for Benjamin tonight. You can come over to my place and drink all you want and I’ll make sure you’re alright. You can have my bed and I’ll take the couch.”

  Marcie was starting to feel better, another drink and she wouldn’t even care. All of a sudden Clark seemed to be more handsome than she had remembered and not nearly as untrustworthy. After all, they are all liars and cheats she thought to herself, what does it really matter? She might as well get even or get hers. “But I need to confront him. I need to tell him I know what a rotten fink he is. Either you are driving me or you’re not.” She turned back towards the businessman and pulled her sweater down a little more. Men they’re all snakes, she thought to herself. I just need fresh meat stamped on my forehead.

  Clark was trying to figure out how to get her home with him. He knew Benjamin and he were best friends, but he had dated his ex, Sherry, right after they broke it off and fresh game is fresh game. Ben shouldn’t have let this one get away, he thought to himself. If he took her to his place, knowing her, she’d just complain about Benjamin all night, but if he took her to see Benjamin, she might become so enraged she would sleep with him. Clark couldn’t remember the last time he had sex. He eyed her tight, firm little body as she did a wiggle to the ladies room and decided to just do whatever she wanted. Steve was eyeing him, and Scott was chatting with some servers who kept looking at Clark to see what he would do.

  Marcie came out of the restroom and plopped down next to Steve. “Hello there Steve, are you about ready for another shot of tequila?” She smiled and licked her freshly painted lips. Clark had not seen this coming and was wondering what to do now.

  “I am if you are.” Steve’s eyes lit up and a twinkle seemed to glow in them. “You sure are a tiny little thing to be slamming back those shots little girl.” She liked the way he called her little girl and decided to sit next to him for a while. Scott came over and brought two more shots. Marcie picked up her shot and asked Steve, with the too dark tan and even darker eyes, where he was from.

  “I’m from Virginia, just here on business, staying over at the Hampton.” He smiled and lifted his shot and asked her if she was ready. As she salted up her wrist and just as they downed it, he reached for her wrist and licked the salt off seductively. His gold Rolex shined under the bar lamp, along with his shiny diamond ring. Marcie hadn’t even noticed Clark on his cell phone chatting frantically, nor did she notice when he exited Frank’s. She was much too busy figuring out how to take Steve back to his hotel room and steal his precious possessions. She hated men, and just like her father, this one loved his image. The Hampton was in walking distance, and Marcie, although she was tipsy, could handle her alcohol with the best of men. She reached under the bar and placed her hand on Steve’s thigh and began rubbing it, all the while her eyes rested on his Rolex.

  Darkness to Light

  Chapter 48

  Desiree had gotten lost in the ambiance and the appetizer, fried calamari with a chili pepper dipping sauce. The dish was perfectly prepared, and she was enjoying the peace and quiet of the restaurant. The lighting was dim and the artwork was simply amazing. She had also become distracted by the soothing décor of taupe and deep rustic textures. The staff dressed in dark wine sports coats, black slacks, and bow ties, were busily scurrying throughout the dining area with bottles of champagne and trays filled with entrées. She wasn’t even looking up as Benjamin and Bradford approached the table. She was busy eating the appetizer. Snappishly, there Benjamin was. She couldn’t breathe. The calamari in her mouth turned to cotton, and she couldn’t seem to force it down her throat. Suddenly there flashed Benjamin’s face captured in time wearing an orange striped prison jumpsuit. Now that same faced was looking back at her. Yes, Desiree was looking into his eyes, the man who had murdered John, the man who had taken her life and her children’s lives. Bradford’s voice sounded as if it were in a tunnel far, far away. His eyes were peering, spinning, penetrating into hers. She began to have flashbacks of Benjamin shackled with a smirk on his face. There must be some kind of mistake, why was he here? Her mind was flashing like a strobe light. The coroner, the sheet, the body. It was a maze of memories and heartache, and right in front of her was Benjamin who had caused it all. She felt hatred. She could taste, smell and feel it in the air. And still she was frozen. “Desiree . . . Desiree, this is my son, Benjamin.” Bradford had said it once already, but now he wasn’t sure what was going on, something wasn’t right. Her eyes were piercingly evil and there was a scowl of rage on her face. So, Bradford had repeated her name a little louder, bringing her out of her shock.

  Benjamin spoke first, “What the hell is this? What kind of charade is this? You plotted this the whole time. Wow, I have to admit, you had me going, Bradford!” He was shaking his head and the side of his mouth twisted up like a pretzel.

  “What are you talking about, Benjamin?” Bradford wasn’t sure what was taking place between Desiree and Benjamin, but he could tell something was wrong, something was dreadfully wrong.

  Benjamin was dumbstruck by what was happening. It was surreal, like a bad movie. “What a flipping dark, sick joke? You’re not even my father,” he said shaking.

  “Of course, I’m your father Benjamin. Why would you say that? I’m your father. You have to believe me.” Bradford was feeling strange, and the evening he had hoped for was crumbling right before him.

  Benjamin’s eyes glared from Bradford to Desiree. He ran his fingers through his long hair nervously. “I should have known better,” he pulled a smoke out of his jacket pocket and began to search anxiously for his lighter. Why did they want him to meet them here? His mind couldn’t comprehend what was taking place. He suddenly thought about Larry and how he could be so brainless to think his real father was even out there or would even care about him. “You son of a bitch, you’re sick,” he said looking Bradford in the eye.

  “But Benjamin, I am your father. I swear to you.”

  Benjamin mocked him in a sarcastic high pitched voice. “I am your father. You both are sick.” Benjamin shook his head and then turned from the table, but not quickly enough because Desiree was already behind him grabbing his shirt and spinning him around. He had his cigarette in between his lips and a twisted grin on his face.

  “I’ll tell you who’s sick, you are, you filthy bastard! You don’t deserve a father. My children don’t have one anymore, remember? You left him in the street, in a pool of blood, or have you forgotten?” Her hands were trembling and so was her voice. The adrenaline that was pumping through her had put her in a manic state. “You walk the streets free and my husband is six foot under, you slimy piece of crap, you don’t deserve to live! You are a monster!” And th
en she shoved him as hard as she could. “You drunken murderer, words can’t even describe how revolting and nauseous you make me feel.” Her voice was rising with each adjective she was using to describe him and people were starting to gawk. “Thanks to you, nightmares grip my children and they are FATHERLESS!” Her words spewed from clenched teeth. “You took the love of my life, you took my soul.” She grabbed him by the shirt in the front of his chest and with her teeth gritted and her face snarled she spat on him.

  At this point Bradford was speechless. He was standing in between the two most important people in his life, not knowing how this could have happened.

  Desiree looked at Bradford and said, “Bradford if this is your son . . . I can’t stay here, I can’t look at him, he repulses me.”

  Benjamin shoved past her and started towards the door. He turned and mouthed, “Don’t bother lady, I’m going!” He walked past them both. Desiree’s reflexes got the best of her and she grabbed Benjamin by the arm, swung him around and with an open palm started to slap him. Bradford grabbed her in the nick of time and spun her around to him.

  “Desiree, get a hold of yourself!” The manager and a few of the staff had gathered around them.

  “Your son is the man who murdered my husband.” Her whole body was shaking with rage. She peered into Bradford’s eyes looking for something, compassion, empathy? Her own eyes held so much pain, and her heart felt so heavy and so full of grief and hatred, she wanted to erupt, she wanted to run. She didn’t know what Bradford was thinking, but what she saw disturbed her. He wasn’t even listening! Didn’t he hear her say that Benjamin killed her husband? His eyes were gazing right past hers as if he were weighing which one to try to keep in his life.

  Benjamin was already walking towards the foyer, making his way to the exit. Bradford let out a yell, causing an even more abrupt scene in the restaurant. “Benjamin wait, don’t go, Ben.” His words held a plea that even Desiree could sense was heartfelt.

  Desiree stood in shock. He was choosing his son, a young man he only met once, and a killer at that. What about her? He might be his son, but he was still a murderer! Blood is always thicker than water, as they say, and she guessed the saying was right. She grabbed her coat and glanced at Bradford’s wine glass and thought about how ignorant she had been. The staff and the managers were trying to hush everyone, not only that, but they were getting ready to phone the police.

  The manager had grabbed Bradford’s coat and was literally pushing him out the door. Bradford was set on catching Benjamin, and still he was turning to try and console Desiree. His heart was shattered. What was happening to the night he had envisioned? What could he do to make amends? “Desiree, I didn’t know, I had no idea. You have to believe me.” He peered into her eyes and he wasn’t sure what to say. But she wasn’t listening anymore; she was walking away.

  Desiree was glad she had driven. She was at the boiling point and was racked with anger, hurt and rage. Just seeing him that close and listening to him run his mouth had made her blood pressure soar. Bradford had turned and was headed towards Benjamin, and she was headed to the parking lot. She reached the van and saw the two of them in a confrontation in front of the building. Just their shadows made her feel so betrayed and so alone with her fears.

  Bradford had finally caught up with Benjamin, and he was trying to hold back tears. “You have to, believe me, son, I had no idea.” He was looking intently into Benjamin’s eyes and pleading with him. “Please don’t let this steal our future together. I’ve just found you.”

  Benjamin was looking into Bradford’s eyes, and he could see the similarities and he could feel his passion and he was lost. How could it ever work now? How could they ever have a relationship with Desiree in the picture? Why wasn’t anything in his life easy? And how could he ever make the almost too perfect father in front of him respect him after this?

  “You would have been better off never finding me, Bradford, I’m a real loser! My life has been screwed up since the day I was born. You’d be better off to go after her and us part ways.” He lowered his head and tried to forget what he had seen in Bradford’s eyes and what he had heard in his voice. He turned the corner and started walking down the cobbled walkway with Bradford on his heels.

  “Look, son, I have thought about you every day since the day I knew you were in your mother’s womb. I never wanted her to give you up. I begged for her to keep you, but there was nothing I could do. Please give us a chance. I need you and you need me.” He grabbed Benjamin by his arm and spun him around. He was looking directly at Benjamin now and his emotions were insufferable. “Every time I saw a baby my heart sank, every time I saw a little boy my eyes would search so intently for you, for any part of me, for any part of your mother. I thought you were being raised by a loving family. I never dreamed it was someone like Larry. Had I known all the heartache you were going through, I would have searched for you sooner, but I didn’t want to confuse you. I didn’t want to disrupt your home life. I thought you were in a good place with two parents who loved you. Desiree is not worth me losing you. Oh Benjamin, please don’t leave us like this.” He held open his arms and stood there waiting. His heart was pounding in his chest and his heart was begging for him to accept his invitation. Then slowly almost methodically Benjamin began to step closer. Unsure of what he was doing, he allowed the man who stood before him to embrace him. Suddenly, he felt something welling up in his eyes, something that hadn’t happened since he was a very small boy. He had learned how to become numb, and he had taken every drug and every drink there was to make sure he never had to hurt again. He had pushed every ounce of emotion down to a place of no return. But at this moment, Benjamin felt something stirring inside him that scared the living hell out of him. As a tear slid silently down his cheek, he asked himself a question, ‘Is this what emotions feel like?’ Was his frozen heart beginning to unthaw?

  Back on the Road

  Chapter 49

  Walter awoke to the sound of the heater blowing from the window. The warmth of the soft cotton blanket and plaid bedspread felt so good that he did not want to leave the comfort of the bed. He glanced over at Buddy who was propped up with some pillows behind his back, sipping coffee from a hot, steamy cup.

  “Mornin’ Walt, how are you feeling this morning? “

  “Couldn’t be better.”

  Buddy smiled and walked over towards the dresser where he had made a pot of coffee with the complimentary packages the motel had provided. The pot was small and it held four cups, but Buddy could tell he’d be lucky to get two out of it. “Let me get you some coffee. Cream? Sugar?”

  “I got it, Buddy.” Walter eased out of the warm bed and added a little cream to his Styrofoam cup before pouring and then sat down at the table by the window.

  “So, you feel like going to Georgia with me Ole timer? If you want to go, it’s going to be at least a day before I can get you home.”

  Walter continued to sip his coffee and stare out the window in deep thought. He knew he could have a good time traveling with Buddy and playing pool and eating in truck stops, but when would it end? Plus he felt like a leech. He enjoyed Buddy’s company, and at times he had almost completely forgotten about his trouble with the law, almost . . . but not really.

  “Yeah Buddy, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll run that load with you and wait till Sunday to head home.”

  “We should be back by Sunday afternoon, evening the latest, Walt.” Buddy ran his hand through his beard as he had a habit of doing and picked up his coffee cup, stood, and looked out the window. There was a maid pushing a cart along the balcony and a number of people putting suitcases and laundry into their vehicles. It was almost check out time and Buddy wasn’t ready to get in that rig again, but he guessed it had become a part of him. He looked over at Walter who was clearly in deep thought and tried to snap him out of it. “You alright, Walter?”

  Walter looked up at Buddy and nodded slowly. “I am just thinking too much, that’s all. Sun
day is the anniversary of Ruthie’s death, and I was hoping you could drop me off at the cemetery. I have yet to go there and talk to her. I want to sit with her for a spell before I turn myself into the police. I really just want to go be with her, Buddy.” Walter looked up at Buddy. His dark brown eyes looked like a sad puppy and they held Buddy with their plea. It was as if they were begging to be closed and no longer a part of this earth. “I really can’t think of anything I’d rather do than go be with her. I don’t hear many a man talk about their wives too good these days and times have changed, I’ll give you that, but she was my world. We had a mutual respect. It was as if she were a reflection of my own soul. We were always finishing each other’s sentences, and we had laughter, gut wrenching laughter. When I close my eyes at night, she is the last thing I think about and when I open my eyes in the morning she is the first picture that I see, a reflection of her beautiful smile.”

  Buddy had tears he was choking back. Just listening to this man talk had changed his life. He was going to secretly do whatever he could to help him with an attorney or bail or whatever he needed. He just knew he could not watch this friend he had become so close to rot away in a prison.

  “Walter, that sounds like a great marriage. I hope one day to meet someone that will make me feel that special. I love hearing about Ruthie and the love you shared. It gives me hope. In this world we seem to never understand death or life after death, but when you talk about Ruthie you talk as if she is still alive waiting for you. I guess you could say you have made me think about my faith again. I mean Walter, you act as if you have no doubt that heaven exists and that you intend to spend eternity with Ruthie. I guess Walt, not only have you made me think about how important family is, you’ve made me think about my future. You even have me thinking about God, yet you never really have brought him up. Funny how a lot of religious people talk about God and His Son and even angels, but they just don’t seem to have much love. Sometimes they make you feel worse about yourself and even hopeless. Yet you, you Walt, have given me hope and a hunger to rekindle my relationship with my daughter, and I believe yes, even God. Does that sound strange?” Buddy cracked his knuckles in nervousness, not really knowing what had come over him.