Nemesis

by Margit Sandemo

  “I can’t imagine that” said Alexander. “She’s a quiet and self-effacing girl. The only one who would seriously be after her is Count Holzenstern but that’s for other reasons.”

  “Which?”

  “He’s an old tomcat,” said Alexander wryly.

  “Oh, I see. Anyway, now we must see how that porridge regimen works. Poor girl, who has to eat that paste!”

  “Now, now, Mattias!” giggled Cecilie. “You mustn’t speak like that about Grandpa Tengel’s best extract. I’m sorry that you were compelled to work as a Doctor here while you should have had a well-earned vacation.”

  “Not at all. Jessica’s strange sickness interests me. Besides, it means a lot to Tancred that she gets well, doesn’t it?”

  Cecilie turned serious. “To be honest, Tancred doesn’t say anything about girls. He gave himself away completely on one occasion, which was two years ago when he fell in love with Jessica. But since then ... Do you know what? He’s changed so much since he’s grown up that you’d not be able to recognise him! Who would have thought that Tancred would turn into a tough, almost withdrawn warrior? He, who was always so jolly and even childish sometimes?”

  “I’m still looking forward to seeing him again.”

  “But, now tell me, how’s Gabriella? Will she soon be coming to visit us?”

  They were absorbed in a lively conversation about Gabriella and Kaleb and their lives.

  Jessica fought bravely with the horrible porridge, chewing it with her front teeth as you do with food you do not like, turned it in her mouth, shuddered and swallowed it.

  And the miracle occurred. The headache grew ever weaker and the pain in the stomach disappeared almost immediately. Mattias came in several times in the day and massaged her neck and shoulders. It hurt but it seemed to have an effect.

  “You’re tense because of the headache,” he said. “It will soon be over.”

  Jessica enjoyed the feeling of his warm hands. It was such a nice sensation in her body when he massaged her poor muscles.

  The sores merely caused a funny remark because Mattias had put a poultice of porridge on them so that she was so sticky that she could hardly move. But the sores no longer ran, which was probably what made her the happiest about the entire regimen.

  Her joints were still sore, but that, along with her thinness, were the only symptoms left after her bleeding had abated and finally ceased.

  Tancred did not turn up the following evening as he had promised. Jessica had waited so eagerly and watched the sun move much too slowly across the sky. She had asked Cecilie for a mirror and gasped at how awful she looked. Mattias was right – her hair had become far too thin. She combed it as nicely as she could but what could you do with a few miserable strands?

  And then he didn’t turn up! Jessica was about to burst into tears because she was so disappointed. She who had vehemently denied Mattias permission to rub her in porridge that night! Now she accepted being sticky once more.

  Tancred did not turn up the next day either. The following day she was allowed out of bed for a while, which was nice. She seemed to be getting stronger. When she had gone to bed that evening, Tancred came home.

  Jessica’s heart was beating hard when she heard his voice in the hall. She was so excited and happy. There he came. She could hear his steps. She sat up and straightened her hair.

  He was so strongly built, so tall and dignified. But he did not look happy. He tried to give her a smile but it was forced.

  “Hi,” she said lightly. “You’re late but what difference does forty eight hours make either way?”

  His smile became more natural. “Isn’t it later than that? Very important people are always late so I decided to come late. No, I was given another assignment ...” He sat down on her bed.

  “It wasn’t enjoyable by the look of it.”

  He sighed. “No, it wasn’t.”

  “Was it because ... of ... what you mentioned?”

  “Yes.” He gave her a sad look. “If only I could speak to you about it. But if I did, I wouldn’t be the one affected.”

  He looked so dejected and sat so close to her that, surprised at her own audacity, she stroked his cheek gently and quickly.

  She had touched him! It was something she had never done before.

  But Tancred was swifter than her. He caught her hand and kissed the palm of it before she managed to pull it back from his cheek.

  “Jessica, you’re a great solace to me,” he whispered.

  She was so touched that she was unable to speak.

  When he put his hands gently on her shoulders to draw her closer, she let out a surprised cry,

  “Don’t touch me! I’m covered in porridge” she said, exhausted.

  For a moment he looked surprised. Then he laughed heartily. Jessica laughed as well at seeing him happy again.

  “Has Mattias been out with his poultice again?” he smiled once he had settled down. “He uses it against everything, but it actually helps. And how are you otherwise? Mum tells me that you’re recovering. I can see that.”

  “Mattias has helped me so much,” she said with a radiant smile. “Your cousin is fantastic!”

  “Yes, thank God that we have Mattias.”

  Then he look questioningly at her. It was a glance she did not understand to begin with, and when she did, she fell silent.

  No, she must have misunderstood something.

  “Ulfeldt has decided the matter,” he said, matter-of-factly.

  “Who?” Jessica was lost in her own thoughts. “Oh, Ulfeldt, yes. What decision and what matter?”

  “He and Leonora Christina were absolutely livid when they were finally told what Dina had said about them. Ulfeldt is meant to have been unfaithful and they supposedly planned to murder His Majesty with poison. I happen to think that Leonora Christina was most upset by the idea of her husband’s infidelity. Well, anyway, Ulfeldt has taken out a summons against Dina, and the Copenhagen City Court has resolved that the case is to be held in public. In front of the Town Hall on Gammeltorv.”

  “So they take the woman seriously?”

  “It has turned out to be a very serious case for Denmark. Besides, Ulfeldt’s business is the subject of a secret investigation.”

  “How is it a secret since you know about it?”

  He smiled. “You know how rumours are spread. At least it is hoped to be kept a secret for the Ulfeldts. But I’m bothering you with all my talk. Now I’ll let you rest.”

  “No, you’re not bothering me at all,” she interrupted anxiously. “But you want to see your parents? Forgive me. I didn’t think about that.”

  “Making allowances once more,” he said, shaking his head. “Jessica, when will you learn to voice your own wishes?”

  “Well, then I want you to stay with me all through the night,” she said breathlessly before she had time to think again. “Oh, no, Tancred. I no longer know what I’m saying. It’s just that I’ve waited for you for forty eight hours. And those hours were endlessly long.”

  “Dear little friend,” he said. He was touched, stroking her hair. “If only things had been different ... No, it’s nothing!”

  “Go on!” she insisted.

  But he merely shook his head.

  “What did you mean by different?”

  “If I didn’t have the sword of Damocles hanging over my head.”

  “And if I wasn’t so repulsive to look at?”

  “But Jessica. How can you say something like that?”

  “You know perfectly well that I’ve been a disaster ever since you took me from Ulfeldt’s house!”

  “You haven’t at all, and it’s not your fault,” he said rather illogically. “And who was it that was a fiasco in Jutland? I was as ashamed as a dog while I was there. So I understand exactly how you must be feeling right now
. But it just isn’t true. I feel a much stronger bond with you now, after I’ve had to take care of all your aches and pains.”

  “Do you? Is that true?”

  “Yes, seriously, Jessica. I have never cared so much about sharing my experiences, good or bad, with anybody in my life. Only I feel that you and I know one another. We’ve seen one another’s unpleasant traits and accepted them. Isn’t that true?”

  “Yes, Tancred.”

  She was so happy that she did not know what to do with herself. But since he was sitting on her nightdress, she had no choice. Her eyes did not leave his for one second.

  “By the way, Mum has received a letter from Aunt Ursula. She writes that Count Holzenstern is dead. He drank himself to death. He fell while he was drunk and killed himself. So now you’re free.”

  Jessica didn’t reply. She did not feel like being pleased over another person’s death.

  “Poor, little Stella,” she said shortly afterwards.

  “Yes, poor Stella. Aunt Ursula wrote that she has been away for quite some time now. And nobody knows where she is. But the farm is being managed very successfully.”

  Cecilie popped her head round the door and said, “Tancred, if you can extricate yourself from your protégé, then supper is on the table and will turn cold.”

  “I’m coming,” he said and got up. “Jessica, I must be on my way to Copenhagen this evening. But I’ll be back as often as I can.”

  “Do that! And thank you for coming!”

  “It’s the least I can do for you,” he smiled.

  The others were sitting at at the dining table when he entered.

  “How is she doing, Mattias?” he said. “What kind of an illness has she been suffering from?”

  “It’s no illness,” said his cousin. “She’s been poisoned. There’s no doubt about that. The pain in her stomach and head indicate direct and intense poisoning. All the other things, the aching joints, loss of hair, the sores and the bleeding came after a general weakness of the body.”

  “Poison? But how?”

  “I’ve no idea. For weeks she’s been having something which doesn’t agree with her.”

  “Then she must never again return to that house,” decided Tancred.

  Cecilie sighed. “And Leonora Christina, who is writing one letter after another asking me when she’ll be back! Little Eleonora Sofia has become so difficult to manage. She’s grumpy and contrary and is just waiting for Jessica to return.”

  “The girl is four, isn’t she?” said Mattias “It’s only natural that they’re a bit awkward at that age.”

  “What about Jessica? What does she want?” said Tancred.

  “Well, of course she has a terribly bad conscience about not being able to be at work. She’s bound to return because of sheer sense of duty,” said Alexander.

  “But if she’s poisoned?”

  Alexander said calmly, “Dear Tancred, why would anyone want to poison harmless Jessica? She must have had poison by accident, and if she’s aware of the danger and very careful with what she eats and drinks and with the jugs of food, there shouldn’t be any danger. If she feels the same symptoms this time, she can always stop.”

  Once the poison had left her body, Jessica recovered quickly. Her hair began to grow again, short and thick, and her bones were no longer so visible through the skin. The sores healed and she no longer had to be rubbed in porridge. Jessica began to be her old, shapely self.

  Tancred came as often as he could. It was not often but he rode the long way to Gabrielshus much more frequently than before. His parents were happy about that but they knew perfectly well the reason why.

  Nevertheless, nobody could help noticing how Tancred was increasingly plagued by nerves and a pressure which seemed to burden him.

  However, despite their sincere wish to help him, he denied emphatically that something was wrong. He avoided his parents in a way that hurt everybody.

  Then the day in July arrived when Jessica was as well as possible – in fact, she was better health-wise than before she fell sick. Mattias, who had returned to Norway, was extremely pleased with her recovery.

  Tancred came back the last day, imploring her not to return to the Ulfeldt household.

  They sat in the park at Gabrielshus, underneath some shady trees by the edge of Cecilie’s duck and goose pond.

  Jessica looked at her hands. “It’s not only because Leonora Christina and the other nannies insist that I return. It’s also for my own sake. Eleonora Sofia needs me. I mean something to another human being. I’m accomplishing something. I’m useful and don’t walk about like a leisurely, grumpy spinster who’s just in the way.”

  “Jessica. What are you saying?”

  “It’s true, Tancred. Ever since my parents passed away, I’ve only existed and nothing more. Walked about like a shadow. Oh, isn’t Jessica here? I didn’t notice. Do you understand what I mean?”

  “But Askinge is yours!”

  “I’ve never felt that way. The Holzensterns were very domineering, you see. I felt that I was at their mercy somehow.”

  “Well, what about now?”

  She thought about the question. “No, I don’t want to return to Askinge. I don’t know why. I feel that it hasn’t been my home for many years. But I can’t stay here forever.”

  “Why not?”

  “And be a burden to your parents?”

  “You’re not a burden! But what about me, Jessica? Don’t I count?”

  She turned her face pensively towards him.

  “Yes, what about you? You’re an enigma, Tancred. A closed door.”

  He sighed and the duck replied with quacks. “I’d prefer ... Jessica, I can’t ask you to marry me. I’m trapped, you see and ... But had I been able to, I would have asked you. I know that this is a lousy proposal, but I want you to know what my heart wants.”

  “Thank you, Tancred. I can live a long time on that.”

  He cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. “Jessica, I know I’ve no right to this ...”

  “Oh, Tancred,” she said, her eyes shining.

  Then he let go. “No, for heaven’s sake. How can one be romantic when the ducks quack all the time?”

  Jessica burst into laughter, and he smiled.

  “Come, my dear,” he said, stretching out his hand. “We’ll run home. If you insist on returning to that poisoned house, then it’s high time that you leave before the city gates are closed. And my mother wants to speak to you before you go.”

  When the two women were alone, Cecilie said just about the same as her son.

  “Do you really have to leave, Jessica? Alexander and I will miss you, and we’ll be nervous when you’re in that house. I feel somewhat guilty for having sent you there. It’s not a good place for you to be now, both for your health and the politics.”

  “Thank you for your kind words. My stay here has been absolutely wonderful. But as I told Tancred, I can’t just receive. I must also give something back.”

  “You’ve been such a good influence on Tancred.”

  “Have I?” asked Jessica somewhat dejected.

  “Certainly! He’s out of equilibrium right now, and nobody understands why. But if anybody can put him on an even keel again, it must be you.”

  Jessica looked down. “He doesn’t seem to have any confidence in me.”

  Cecilie put her hand over Jessica’s. “I know how you feel. But now I’ve understood that behind his very masculine and stately exterior, there’s still a boy who’s more unsure of himself than I imagined.”

  Jessica nodded. “He doesn’t like adversity.”

  “No. It’s an immature trait, which is bound to disappear with time. But as I once said to you, life has been too easy for him. The problems that go with becoming an adult and having responsibilities have been a shock
to him.”

  “But he’s a good and fine person,” said Jessica defensively.

  “Oh, yes. He’ll be brilliant once he’s learned to master the lessons of life. So I ask you, Jessica, don’t leave him to his fate! Help him if you can! You’re so good for him.”

  “There’s nothing I’d rather do than help him,” Jessica whispered, her eyes brimming with tears. “If only he’d let me.”

  Chapter 11

  Cecilie succeeded in persuading Jessica to stay until the next morning, and as Tancred was at home, she accepted. So all four of them spent the evening together. As always when his parents were present, Tancred would be very quiet. Jessica noticed how much Alexander and Cecilie were hurt by this.

  Early the following morning, 11 July 1651, Tancred and Jessica rode towards Copenhagen. Tancred wanted to accompany her on the way because he didn’t like the thought of her riding on her own.

  He was very quiet and his eyes were sad as they glanced at Jessica’s gracious figure. She always dressed very simply. Unlike Cecilie, she was not interested in fashion. She was happy as long as her clothes were clean and neat – probably because she was self-effacing.

  Tancred felt he had never seen anything more beautiful because love views everything through rose-tinted glasses.

  “Please be cautious,” he pleaded. “Pay attention to everything you eat and don’t use bowls and cups that might be unclean or toxic in any other way. I’ll meet with you at least once a week. We must agree where we can meet because I can’t go to Ulfeldt’s house.”

  Jessica was happy. She stole a shy glance at him, still unable to believe that this handsome man could care for her.

  They were in Copenhagen when they caught sight of a large crowd in front of the Town Hall.

  “What’s that?” asked Jessica.

  Tancred stopped his horse. “Stop, Jessica! If it’s what I think it is, we’ll take another route.”

  “Why?”

  “Did you hear that the Ulfeldts have taken against Dina Vinshofers? Leonora Christina and Corfitz Ulfeldt were acquitted.”