Roots of Indifferences

by Terri Ragsdale

"It went very well," she responded, smiling. "It was wonderful. Thank you for asking."

  "Heard you poor Mamá left for Mexico with her parents. Manuel was here a day ago and brought me some meat, fresh eggs and milk, and several pounds of butter, which I have enjoyed very much. I get tired of eating wild rabbits all the time." She continued mumbling about how she missed La Señora Doña Francisca and her generosity, as she walked toward her jacale. "That's enough!" she yelled at her dogs, hitting the side of the steps with her cane. "What brings you girls to visit me? Let me guess. You girls want your fortune told, a reading?" The old woman cackled.

  "Yes!” Victoria, nodding her head almost too anxiously. "I want you to meet my cousin, Felicia. She lives in Mercedes City and she's going to study in Monterrey with me. My cousin wants a reading before she goes to school. I was just telling her about you and how good you are at predicting the future."

  Felicia turned her head in shock and glared at Victoria for lying. For all along, it was Victoria who wanted to know about Juan and their future.

  "I can't refuse the devil himself. Come on in," she said congenially, making her way past the screen door. She laid the basket on a wooden stool next to the entrance, took off her rebozos, and walked over to a table close to her adobe fireplace.

  Inside the hut was a luminous glow. A strong smell of sage incense permeated the whole place, infiltrating the two young ladies' nostrils. Candles of all colors burned on top of a large table, along with framed pictures of the saints, and statues of the saints hovering over both. It gave the girls a weird feeling, like being in a religious sanctuary, with dry bushes hanging upside down from the ceiling, and bottles full of vinegar with odd weeds and objects inside. They felt they were in a completely different world. Pictures of distinctive faces, with black candles burning beneath them, were stationed on a separate table on the other side of the room. Uncommon trinkets of all sorts, especially unique, handmade dolls with pins in them, were placed next to the candles. Boxes full of canned goods and paper sacks were stacked next to the fresh cut mesquite wood near the stove, and water gourds hung along the side.

  Doña Adela laid her cane next to her chair and found a bright red tablecloth and placed it on top of the round wooden table. She filled a glass of water from a colorful green and red Mexican clay water jar and set it on the table. "Always put out a glass of water for a reading," she said in a low tone. "After each reading, you throw it out, and it takes the evil spirits with it!" She continued talking while taking a chair and picking up the reading cards. While she sat, she shuffled the cards. "All right, who wants to go first?" she said and eyed the two girls hovering over her.

  "Me!" answered Victoria quickly.

  "You," said Doña Adela, pointing to Felicia, "sit over there." She aimed her bony finger at a chair across the room. "This way, I will not get the other person's vibrations." Eyeing Victoria seriously, she said, "Think strongly on what you want to know. Take the cards and shuffle them fourteen times and think of your wish. The first round is considered the past, the second is the present, and the final one is the most important because it reveals your future. All three are necessary to complete the reading."

  Carefully, and with much excitement and anticipation, Victoria grabbed the cards and began shuffling them as the old woman had instructed her. She couldn't help but admire the brightly colored cards as she began examining them. It reminded her of pictures she had seen in books about the Dark Ages and the Renaissance with kings, queens, and knights in shining armor.

  "These are special Mexican cards," replied la Bruja, delighted with her cards, and Victoria's enthusiasm for them. "There are only forty of them. Each card represents a purpose, depending on how they fall." She asked Victoria to cut them, making a stack of three and laying them on the red tablecloth. Doña Adela crossed herself, took the deck from the middle and began spreading them from left to right to the count of ten. Then she started down again into the second line, again counting to ten, even with the first line. When the last card was gone from her hand, she took up the first deck and continued into the same pattern, filling the second row, then to the third, and finally the last deck of cards until all of the forty cards lay spread on the table.

  "Ah!" she whispered to herself, viewing the deck. "They look very interesting! I will check for the information you want to know."

  The old Bruja took her time in describing the meaning of the colorful cards. "Each knight represents a different color of the person's skin tone, and the same for the woman. There were only four men and four women in the deck of forty." Pointing to a king with a large green club, she said, "He is a very dark man and the same for the woman with a green club." She then pointed to a king holding a cup. "This man, and also the woman holding the cup, are olive-skinned people. The one holding the spear is a medium-white complexioned person, and those holding the gold coin, both the man and woman are very light-complexioned, blonde people, referred to as gringos."

  When la Bruja pointed a finger to each card, Victoria couldn't help but notice her wrinkled hands that were all twisted and deformed and full of arthritis. An odd feeling overtook Victoria's excitement, but she felt comfortable that Doña Adela was an expert, who made a living at this art and knew what she was doing.

  Doña Adela began to speak. "Now! When I start the reading, you mustn't speak. I don't want you girls talking to each other. No matter how much you want to say something, wait until I'm finished. I will lose my concentration, and it will be no use in continuing. I will ask the questions. Understand?"

  Victoria nodded.

  "Fine!" said Doña Adela, and her eyes were like two burning torches, reflecting the light from her kerosene lamp. She continued. "You, my dear, come from a family with lots of money. See! Here!" She pointed to the card with the gold coin. "And there will be more money coming. Ah! I see lots of money, pointing to the medium-light man who represented her father. I see your Papá making hundreds. That's good," said Doña Adela. Then she pointed to the medium-light woman card. "This woman is ill. I think this is your Mamá. And it shows that she has gone on a long journey," she said, pointing to a large club card, which indicated foreign soil. "There will be complications on her part, maybe death. I don't want to say that, but there is a possibility." She cleared her throat, viewing Victoria's face, whose eyes had widened and her face had turned pale at this prospect.

  "Now, I'm showing two important men in your life. One loves you more. One perhaps is your future husband, handsome and rich, full of promises and ideas to become wealthier. He is the light-colored man here." She pointed to the man with the spear. "The other one is colored olive, and he is the one that loves you the most. He thinks of you all the time, but at this moment in time he is struggling, because he sees himself not getting ahead in what he wants. I see him wanting material things, riches, and possessions, but having problems with government personnel." She looked up briefly, then continued.

  "I also see you going on a long trip. This is probably the school you were talking about. I see you crossing water with other people and another lady. Must be this young lady, your cousin! The light-colored man is very pleased and happy to see you. I think he is the one you will eventually marry. I don't know at this time. He also comes from a family with land and money, living on foreign soil. But—" La Bruja hesitated for a moment and stuttered, trying to find the proper words. She studied the cards again with a frown on her face. "I see him being deceitful and tricky. I think it must be his family. Through some terrible circumstances, he, or maybe his family, will lose something. I don't know what all of this means, but it is the result of bad dealing or planning that happens much later." La Bruja continued:

  "Your trip to Monterrey is going to be very favorable while you are there. You are going to enjoy happy occasions, but things are going to change. I see you being lonely, maybe while attending school. You will see the olive man, under different circumstances—not the way you think. He will want to marry you, to have you elope with him, or somethi
ng to that effect. But—" she frowned again and looked at the cards with much concentration. "Ah! You are going to refuse him. Under unusual conditions, you'll refuse him. Seems very odd, if you love someone," said the old woman. She glanced up at Victoria's face to see how she was reacting. "You, for some strange reason, will change your mind. Very strange! I see unhappy conditions after that event. I see illness and sickness around you. People around you are going to lose things, like their property, wealth, money, and even perhaps their lives! I don't know how this is going to relate to you, but you are going to be involved because this is your reading and your cards. All of this, of course, is after you come back to Texas. I see dissimilar changes coming into your life, some good, some not so good. I also see that many deaths will occur."

  The old Bruja then went into a long silence, still reviewing the cards. Minutes later, she spoke again. "This is all the cards have to say. Sometimes they say more, depending on the person and circumstances, but for now and today this is all they say. Now! You can talk and ask me questions. Is there anything you want to say?"

  Victoria cleared her throat and took a couple of minutes to express herself, after the shock of what she had heard. "You mean, I will not marry this man?" pointing to the card representing the olive man. "He's the one I truly love."

  "Ah! I suspected that! He is the one you brought with little Fred to have a reading several months ago. Handsome! Chulo! I couldn't get my eyes off him. He has the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. Intelligent and well mannered, too! And if I had been forty years younger, I would have made a potion on my behalf toward him. He is gorgeous."

  The two girls laughed.

  "But because you love someone, that doesn't mean you'll marry them. There are other people controlling your life. People with power and money will not permit this to occur. And you happen to love money, with all of the comforts money brings. You will have a relationship with this olive man. The cards are funny," she said, cackling. "They say what's in the future. Nothing can change that. Maybe you can! You are the only one who controls your own destiny. You are the captain of your own ship, the driving force in your life. Only you can change your destiny."

  Victoria did not answer. She began perspiring and felt her heart throb. Her head dropped to her chest, and she stared at the floor in disappointment, as if pride, arrogance, and her self-centered ego had vanished. She then glanced at Felicia, who was white as a ghost.

  "You see my dear," suggested the old woman, acknowledging Victoria's distress and the disappointing information that she had just delivered. "Money isn't everything, and you love money. The love of money is the roots of evil. Money in itself is not the evil one, but the love of it is. You carry it in your blood, the seed of evil that comes with the blood of the white man in your ancestry."

  Doña Adela's eyes were wide and clear, and her conversation full of anger and vengeance, as she expressed her hate for the white man. Her face became twisted, looking like a dried up fig hanging down from a tree. She continued, "The white men are all greedy, wanting all the possessions and materials things in life. In the end, I may not live long enough to see it, but they will fight among themselves for the land and boundaries and will eventually, in the far future destroy themselves. Many sorrows will come from that greediness."

  She became angrier and her voice rose in pitch. She tapped her cane on the side of the wooden table, making the two girls jump from their seats. "The white man took our land because we were Indians and had no legal papers to claim anything. We could not read or write," she said. "Your grandfather George was perhaps the only kind white man I knew. He became the owner of this land where we have lived and wandered for centuries. My father loved him and worked for him many years and showed him where he could find the water in this region and other secrets of the land. Your grandfather was kind enough to give me a place where Roberto and I could live until I die."

  She paused and looked reflective. "When Texas became self-governing, the white men burned our shacks, and killed my two brothers, and raped me and my older sister. Your grandfather was gone at that time and couldn't do a thing about our situation. Luckily for my sister, she died weeks later from the shame of her mishap. Shortly after, my father died of grief. Now, in my old age, I'm happy as long as I can serve the Mexican people in this area. It gives me something to do. I have everything here, all I have to do is ask." La Bruja went into a long silence, then got up from her chair, grabbed her cane that supported her, and took the glass of water with her. Walking to the back of her jacale, she threw the water out the window. Minutes later, she returned and asked Felicia if she wanted her cards read.

  Felicia, who was frozen in her chair, didn't know what to say. Dubious in her meek manner, she hesitated, but shyly responded, "Yes," then added softly, "but I need to go to the outhouse first."

  All three women laughed. Doña Adela pointed with her ebony cane to the outside of the jacale towards the old barn. "I will wait until you return. Meanwhile, I will keep Victoria's company," she said.

  Felicia hurried toward the old barn, watching her steps, for the path was covered with debris of fallen leaves and dry grass. Walking beside the old barn and having a keen sense of smell, she started smelling a strong, fetid scent. It was such a different, pungent odor that she brought her hand to her nose. My God, she thought, it's a smell like death! It smells like something died here! Without giving any more thought to the hideous odor, she kept walking and finally closed the door to the outhouse.

  Minutes later she found her way back.

  Felicia's reading was completely unlike Victoria's. Doña Adela was able to see the torture that Felicia had suffered in her young, troubled life. She was informed of her stepfather's activities and his devious, crafty dealings, and said he would finally get his punishment. The reading was similar to Victoria's reading when it came to their schooling. She emphasized emphatically that a white man from across the border—a tall, handsome gringo with blond hair and blue eyes—would change the course of her life. How could it be possible? A white gringo in Mexico would change her entire life for the better? Many things were going to change, but that was after they returned from foreign soil. The gringo would become a very successful businessman. Felicia would marry him years later and have his children and find happiness as his wife. A fairytale marriage!

  As the two girls departed and stood outside the screen door, Victoria and Felicia thanked the old woman for taking her time and being so kind in giving them the information. Victoria seemed depressed, feeling like a doomed victim. She asked, "Doña Adela, will you teach me how to read the cards like you do?" She said humbly, "I want to learn and know everything you do. I want to know about herbs and how they cure people. I also want to know about the magic of candles, potions, and how they perform their miracles."

  Doña Adela laughed. "Ah! Hija! It takes many years of knowledge and experience to know everything. But, yes. Anytime you want to learn, just come over. I will teach you everything I know. You first better get your father's permission, when you visit me. He doesn't believe in card reading. He was here months ago, but only to ask questions. He will believe!

  "You mentioned to my father about giving him a reading?"

  "Ah! Yes!" she chuckled. "He laughed at me and refused me, of course. He thinks I'm crazy. A little bit maybe," she admitted, giggling. "But he will pay me a visit in the near future, just like I told him several months ago. He will become perturbed over some situation in his life, wanting to know some answers. He will want to know things, and I will gladly tell him everything."

  "You're right! Father doesn't believe in those things. He thinks they are unnatural."

  "Ah! That's because your Papá has white men's blood in him. They are very skeptical."

  "Don't hold your breath. It will take a miracle for him to come for a reading."

  "I'm surprised you wanted a reading. You are so beautiful and have the world at your feet. But I can see why you wanted to know about the green-eyed ma
n. He's quite the mango!"

  "We had better leave, it's getting late. I don't want Father to know that I brought my cousin here. We wanted an excuse to exercise our horses and were told not to ride too far from the hacienda."

  "My lips are sealed. I never repeat anything people tell me. That's the reason they come to me for so many special reasons."

  Felicia was pleased in meeting Doña Adela and thanked the old woman.

  "Ride with the spirits," replied la Bruja, chuckling as she disappeared within her old jacale.

  The two girls were anxious to leave the somber place, for it was already getting late in the afternoon. The few rays of the sun between the gloomy clouds had started to slant west, and the evening was coming on. Mamá Maria and the rest of the servants would become worried if they didn't show up soon. Riding home, Victoria was silent and looked serious. She said, "You mustn't say a word that we came to visit Doña Adela for a reading. Tell nothing to any of the servants, especially Yolanda. Not even to Mamá Maria. She tells Papá everything. If Father finds out, he'll have me strung up!"

  Felicia nodded. All she wanted was to get back to Spanish Acres, where she felt safe.

  The hurried ride home was continued in silent contemplation.

  Later, Felicia informed Victoria of the awful smell just past the old barn at Doña Adela's place, thinking that Victoria should be cautious when she returned for future readings. Victoria, in turn, ignored the information, suggesting that Doña Adela boiled herbs and dried them, sometimes creating foul smells. Altogether, it ended the suspense of the fetid odor.

  Within the following weeks, Victoria, unafraid, was able to sneak out after the evening meal in a clandestine manner and ride to Doña Adela's home. She would leave Felicia at Spanish Acres to cover for her while she went to visit with La Señora in the dusk and learn some of the magical mysteries of life and its elements—all considered witchcraft and a total abomination to the Catholic faith, which considered them voodoo and evil medicine.