by Gail Haris
“Wow. Worse? So, what brings you here now?” I ask him.
He smiles at me and nods toward where Richard and Melissa had exited. “I wanted to ask their permission. Before, I was escorting you to homecoming through Trent.” He raises up and hands me the roses. His voice turns husky as he whispers, “These are for you.”
I’ve never had a guy give me flowers before. I blush and sniff the roses. They’re beautiful, and the gesture is sweet.
He clears his throat. “I’ll see myself out. If you’re still up for it, I can pick you up at five on Saturday?”
I simply nod, and watch as he exits out of the room. I catch sight of him at the door as he waves bye to everyone.
At supper, Melissa tells Denise and Landon about Luke being the perfect gentleman by asking for permission to take me on a date. Landon grunts and scoffs through the entire conversation. I don’t miss the fact that no one has told them about the punch incident.
Seeming to finally have had enough of Melissa and Denise describing Luke as a dream, Landon sneers, “Isn’t he laying it on a little thick? First, the weekend isn’t even over, and he’s already showing up with roses to make plans for next weekend? Eager much?”
I take offense to his tone. “Hey! Can’t a guy be overly excited to date me?”
Landon narrows his eyes at me. “Yeah, but he’s too eager. I don’t trust him.”
Denise sighs. “I think he’s so romantic. Wow, you have the most popular guy in school bringing you roses.”
Landon snaps, “He doesn’t even go to our school, so how is he the most popular guy in school?”
Denise raises her eyebrows and speaks in a tone that clearly implies he’s slow in understanding things. “That’s how popular he is. Luke Jamerson is the most popular guy in every school. He’s basically a celebrity in this town. Maybe even the surrounding areas.”
He rolls his eyes in disgust. “Why? Because he’s good at sports and works out? His family has money? You know who he is really? He’s a fake, selfish, snob, and a total ass. Not sure I see the appeal.”
Richard gets onto Landon about his language and changes the subject. The rest of our conversation is more pleasant. I speak when necessary, but my mind is still wondering what history there is between Landon and Luke. This is about more than how Luke acted at Homecoming.
When I get to my room, I check both of my cell phones. The private one has messages from Andrea and Noah. Andrea asks about homecoming and life in general. Noah reminds me to get to school early tomorrow so we can talk. On my regular cell phone, I have several messages from Tara wanting to know what was happening with Luke. Rachel is curious about Trent. Pretty sure that’s the only reason she wants to be friends with me. I respond to everyone and then hide my private phone.
I get ready for bed but I’m not tired yet. I grab my sketch pad and charcoal pencils. I wander downstairs to the den. I sit sideways on the couch and tap my pencil against the pad. I’m enjoying my new school. I love my soccer team. I’ve made new friends. I have an extremely popular and attractive guy interested in me. I’m developing a relationship with my new family while getting to keep contact with Aunt Andrea and Noah. Maybe this is who I was always meant to be. Maybe this is Sarah Randall.
I draw a curved line down the side of the page. Then another. I hear footsteps and look up. Richard enters the room.
“Not tired yet either?” I shake my head. He holds up a sketch pad and points to mine. “Great minds think alike. Or artistic minds I guess.” He smiles and releases a light, awkward chuckle. “Mind if I sit in here with you? I promise to keep quiet.”
I nod and watch him as he sits on the couch next to mine. He flips the pages and then picks up his pencil. He holds it up and waits. I hold mine up and he smiles. And we begin sketching. We don’t talk. We don’t even look at each other’s drawings. We sketch in silence until it’s time to go to bed.
“That was nice. Maybe next time you’re not ready for sleep and want to sketch, come get me?”
“Yeah.”
“Good night, sweetheart.”
“Good night…”
I HURRY AND GET READY for school. If I had my own car, I could already be on my way. I’m thinking this as I eat my breakfast. As if he reads my mind, Richard lays his newspaper down to address me.
“Sarah. Your mother and I discussed you having a car last night.”
Uh-oh. His tone doesn’t sound favorable.
“When is the next day that you don’t have soccer practice?”
I swallow the cereal in my mouth and answer, “We don’t practice on Wednesdays.”
He nods, looking at Melissa. She is bursting with excitement. “How about Wednesday then?”
I look back and forth between them. Confused, I draw out, “Wednesday what?”
Richard gives me a wide grin. “To take you to get a new license. You need a Missouri license and then after that, we go look for a car.”
I drop my spoon in my bowl and stare at him. I sit there a moment trying to wrap my head around what he said.
He seems unsure about my response. “We can look at any cars you like. Melissa said you wanted to get a job to buy a car. We can help you buy a car, Sarah. Or is that something you wanted to do on your own? I’m sorry, I’m having trouble gauging your reaction to this.”
He seems nervous and flustered. I release a shocked laugh. I asked for a car, so they’re going to go buy one just like that. Cindy wanted me to have a car, but we couldn’t afford it. If I ever needed to drive, I drove hers. For school, I would carpool with friends. Sometimes, Cindy would even carpool so I could have the car. I forget how wealthy this family is, even though this monstrous house I live in is a constant reminder.
I blink a couple of times and hold my hands out, “I-I… Wow. Um, ha, I can’t…believe it. That’s so generous of both of you.”
Melissa begins clapping. “Oh sweetheart! I wanted to surprise you with a car for your birthday, but Richard thinks we should allow you to pick it out.”
Richard gives me a sad look. “I don’t think you need any more surprises in your life right now. Even if it’s a good surprise. It could still be overwhelming. You choose your own car, sweetheart.”
I realize what he’s trying to do. I haven’t had many choices and he’s wanting to let the next big moment in my life be on my terms. I get to choose. Tears pool into my eyes. I run around and give each one of them a hug.
I arrive to Mrs. Sanders class early to find it empty. I sit down and start sketching while I wait for Noah. After a few minutes, I look up to find Noah watching me.
I shriek, “Ah! You could’ve said something. Wow, you’re quiet.” He merely shrugs and continues to stare. Okay. I go back to sketching and ask him if he had a nice time at the dance. He doesn’t answer, so I look back up. I notice a red spot on his cheek bone, maybe a slight bruise that’s already fading. I zero in on it and reach out to touch it. He flinches but doesn’t move.
“What happened here?” I lightly touch next to the spot. I notice his eyes have different speckles of blue and green, maybe a little grey even.
“I, um, got into a bit of a disagreement.” He looks away and moves out of reach.
I urge him to continue, “That’s a bit vague. Do all your disagreements end this way?” He doesn’t answer so I push more. “Tell me what happened.”
He huffs and grumbles as he wipes his hand over his face. “Yesterday, I had a disagreement with Luke.”
I almost shoot out of my seat. “That was you! He came by the house, and he looked far worse than you. He said Trent did it!”
He gives a chuckle. “Trent might have had a disagreement with him as well.”
Does nobody think I can handle myself? Did me being a kidnap victim turn into me becoming a victim of everything? Do both of these guys now have a huge guilt trip and feel like they have to make up for it by beating up Luke? “Did you both gang up on him? Over what? Do not say it had anything to do with that freaking punch from the danc
e.”
Now he looks annoyed and pins me with his stare. “That ‘freaking punch’ was spiked. You could’ve gotten drunk, and he could’ve taken advantage of you. Are you seriously that naïve? Trent trusted him, so he had every right to be upset —no exceptions. And for your information, I wouldn’t gang up on anyone. I fight my own battles, especially against some douche like Luke Jamerson. Trent had already delivered the message. I just made sure it was received.”
I snarl at him while considering if I should deliver my own message to him. He lets out another huff and holds his hands out. “Look, it’s not like it was at the same time. Apparently, Trent stopped by his house as he was leaving town. I ran into Luke at the gym. He was bragging about how he let Trent play the protective big brother to his new sister. Then he said he had every intention of still trying to date you and continue where y’all left off at the dance. I approached him because clearly, the message hadn’t been received.”
I roll my eyes. “Believe it or not, I can handle myself. You’re both blowing this out of proportion. What? You wanted to be the one to play the big brother role?”
I watch as his jaw ticks, and his right leg jumps up and down. He’s agitated, but he doesn’t speak. I go back to working on my sketch. A few minutes pass, and the first bell rings.
He doesn’t move when he asks, “Are you really going out with him this Saturday?”
I don’t waste my time by looking up at him; I just give a casual “mm-hhmm.” He gives a low grumble of inaudible words, but I don’t bother trying to make out what they are.
Throughout the day, everyone keeps asking me about Luke. Are we dating? Is it serious? Did he really take on Trent to date me? A few girls even ask, “What makes you so damn special?” Ouch! That one stings. Honestly, I don’t even know why Luke is interested in me. I think gossip and rumors have spread like wildfire all over the school —and possibly surrounding schools. It’s extremely uncomfortable and I’m not really sure what to do with myself or how to handle it. I give vague answers throughout the day. Tara and Rachel are the only ones I tell the whole story to. While Landon shoots everyone down with a “Sarah has more class than to date the likes of Luke Jamerson.”
At lunch, I ask Landon, “Why do you think everyone cares so much?”
He lays his sandwich down on his plate with a sigh. “First, you’re Sarah Randall. You went missing for years.” He stops and holds a hand up when he sees my eyes grow wide. “Ssshhh, I know, I know you don’t like to acknowledge that people know you for that. I understand that it makes you uncomfortable having people still gossip about it. Sorry, but they do, and they will continue to. That’s the way it is.”
He gives a matter-of-fact shrug and then continues, “Second, Luke Jamerson is,” he gives a grand wave with his hand, “an athletic god. Prince Charming to some foolish girls. The American golden boy. Truthfully, he’s a glorified ass, but whatever.”
He goes back to eating his sandwich while I sit there dumbfounded. We sit there a few more minutes before he places the sandwich back down with an audible huff. “Really, you still don’t get it? You two dating is the juiciest gossip this pathetic town has had in a long time. You’re both hot topics around here. So, of course, you’re going to make headlines by dating,” he holds his hand out as if he’s reading a marquee, “Playboy Star Athlete Luke Jamerson Dates Returned Darling Sarah Randall. Oh! Or better, Randall Family Finally Has Sarah Returned to Them Only to have Quick Luke Steal Her Heart. Could her heart be lost for good this time?”
I slap his hand down and laugh. “Stop it! That’s ridiculous!”
He gives a half-hearted laugh. “This town is ridiculous.”
I get an unsettling feeling and voice my fears to Landon, “Do you think that’s why Luke is interested in me? Only for the attention it might bring?”
He shakes his head and acts like I’m ridiculous now. “No. I highly doubt that. He’d have to think you’re more popular than him, and his ego is too big for that nonsense. He has an interest in you personally if he’s bothering with a date.”
I examine him and finally ask, “Why do you hate him? Straight answer.”
He stares at me, and I can’t read the emotions going through his eyes. Finally, he leans down and whispers, “Later. I’ll tell you tonight at home.”
I don’t push him anymore, and our conversations go back to lighthearted topics.
The rest of my day flies by, and before I know it, I’m home getting ready for bed. I hear a knock at my door, but before I can answer it, Landon comes strolling in. He flops down on my bed and throws his hands behind his head.
“Get comfortable.” I joke.
He answers with a smirk. I finish getting ready in the bathroom and come out to lay next to him. Landon jumps right into it.
“I’m gay, Sarah.” I watch his Adam’s apple bob. “Nobody knows except Rachel. I think Trent’s suspicious. Everyone else is clueless. Except...for maybe Luke Jamerson.”
I’m honestly shocked. I’m speechless. I feel like I should say something. Should I show how surprised I am? Should I pretend like I’m not surprised? I don’t think anything is wrong with him being gay, but he obviously feels it’s wrong. Would Richard and Melissa be upset?
I stutter, “O-okay…but why are you telling me? I am only asking because you said you haven’t told anyone else. Why me then?”
He turns to look at me and gives me a sad smile. “You know what it’s like to feel different. I think you have a pretty good idea of what it feels like to be a member of this family but not feel like part of the family. I can’t tell them —not yet anyways.”
I take his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. He’s right in that I know exactly how that feels. He squeezes my hand in return and then focuses on the ceiling.
“There was this guy.” He gives a half-hearted chuckle. “Isn’t that how most stories begin? Anyways, there was this guy named Marcus Duncan. He went to the same private school as Luke. As you know, Luke is friends with Trent. He used to be buddies with Marcus as well. That’s how I met Marcus. He would bring him around, along with a couple of other jocks. Long story short, Marcus and I…well, we became close.”
I give a little “oh” and nod to show I’m following.
He takes another large swallow and continues, “I don’t know how, but somehow, it leaked that Marcus was gay. Luke not only quit being his friend, but he gave him so much pointless shit for it.”
When his voice begins to tremble, I cut my eyes to see unshed tears in his eyes, and the hand I’m holding visibly quivers.
He takes a deep breath and continues, “I still don’t know how no one has found out about me. I don’t advertise that I’m gay, but I was quite close to Marcus. Anyone could see it. If I had to guess, I’m sure—no —I know, Trent is protecting me. Luke would’ve gone after me, I know it, but he wouldn’t dare go against Trent. But Marcus didn’t have a big, cool brother to protect him. He was fair game to God only knows what. He was at the same school with Luke, did I mention that? Anyways, he was. He was at that fancy private school where all the kids are even more cruel because they believe they are untouchable. Somehow, their money makes them better than everyone. What happens when you get a group of spoiled, self-righteous people in one place that all think like that? They attack the first person that comes along that’s different.”
He goes quiet, and I don’t know if I should ask what became of Marcus.
After a few tears trickle down his face, he continues, “Marcus wouldn’t speak to me after the rumors first started. I tried calling, texting, going to his house, but he refused to acknowledge me. I heard about everything that happened to him because people around here love to talk, especially people like Luke. It seemed he couldn’t wait to come over and talk about everything that happened at school. Trent would always tell him to ‘shut up,’ or ‘it was wrong.’ Luke would only laugh.” He turns to me and stares so intently into my eyes, I almost want to flinch. “He laughed, Sarah. Laughed.”
He focuses back on the ceiling, and I watch his nostrils flare for a few minutes.
Then, he whispers the next part, “Marcus couldn’t stand it anymore. Who could have? He might not have had a brother to protect him, but thankfully, he did have understanding parents. They moved. I never saw or heard from him again. I still want to know why he turned me away. I guess I never will.”
We sit there for a moment reflecting on everything he had just revealed.
Finally, I offer, “He didn’t want you to go through it. He must’ve loved you, Landon. Maybe he knew his parents were going to move. Maybe he was afraid it would be worse for you. I think he was trying to protect you.”
“Maybe.”
Luke bullied Landon’s first love and cast him into social exile. If I had to guess, I’d also bet he knows the truth about Landon’s sexual preference as well. I can’t date Luke now. I’d feel as though I was betraying my brother. My brother. I smile to myself, realizing that I do see Landon as my brother. I want to protect him. I wish I’d been here for him sooner. Maybe we could’ve stopped Luke before he tortured poor Marcus. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed anything. At this moment, one thing has for sure changed—I hate Luke Jamerson. What kind of person treats another person that way? I’m overcome with a sudden urge to shield and protect Landon. But something tells me, he doesn’t need me to protect him. He just needs me to be there for him. To love him for him. Isn’t that all anybody wants? To be loved for simply being themselves. Not their name, sexual preferences, religious beliefs, social status or skin color—but to be loved for who you are, not what you are. Who Landon loves doesn’t change who he is any more than whether he calls me Sarah or Olivia. He’s still my brother and I still love him. My chest hurts and I fight back tears. Being grateful in this moment feels wrong because I was brought back to him through Cindy’s death.
I continue to lay there holding his hand for comfort. A thought comes to mind. “Why is Rachel the only one that knows?”