“I went to see Nancy, so I turned my phone off.”
“Well, you picked a bad goddamn time to do it. Shit has hit an industrial-sized fan. The label has been on the phone with me. They’re beyond livid. I’ve got the lawyer drafting cease and desist letters, but who knows if they’ll respond to those and actually take the motherfuckin’ pictures down!”
“I know, I know,” I said, trying to calm her down. She was worked up like a squirrel on espresso.
“I told you not to get involved with this woman, Skyler,” Camille’s voice seethed. Sitting on a bench in the garage, I listened to her rant and tried to wrap my mind around what was happening. Normally, I’d shrug this sort of garbage off, but I had Elsie to consider. I’d have to stand up and face this thing for her. “I told you it would be nothing but bad for you and everyone around you. What were you thinking?”
“Now wait just a Goddamn minute Camille. I respect the hell out of you professionally, but you are never going to control my personal life again. I love her. And there is nothing bad about that. You want to get pissed? Good, because I’m fucking livid, don’t go off on me. Find the fuckers trying to destroy Elsie’s reputation and rip them a new asshole because I’m not the enemy and I won’t take the blame for this. There isn’t one goddamn reason I shouldn’t be able to sit on my own fucking porch and do whatever the hell I want with whoever the hell I want. Understand?” I respected Camille and appreciated everything she did for me. Even if she could be a bitch.But there needed to be boundaries in my life if I were to have someone like Elsie in it.
“What? You weren’t just saying that to shut Amelia up?” She whispered, incredulous.
“I’m in love with Elsie, Camille. So whatever problem the label has with this, they can go fuck themselves. I never set out to hurt her, and I had nothing to do with this bullshit.”
Camille let out an exasperated sigh. “Now you fall in love? With the most inconvenient person ever? Skyler, I’m simultaneously thrilled for you and pissed off. I can’t handle the dichotomy.”
I laughed. I knew Camille would be happy for me when she realized how deep this rabbit hole actually went.
“I didn’t set out to inconvenience you with my feelings, Cam. No offense, but I didn’t take you into consideration. It didn’t seem appropriate,” I teased her, glad we were back on friendly terms after our mutual outbursts.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn’t you know you’re supposed to consult me every breath?” She took a deep sigh. “I’m going to get the PR department and the lawyers on this. We’ll come up with a plan. But you better be ready to suit up and make a statement in the next few days. We can’t head this off unless we put you between this shit-storm and her.”
“I’ll do anything.”
“I never thought I’d see the day,” Cam sighed. “You deserve this, Skyler. I’ll do what I can to protect you.”
“Thanks, Cam. You’re a good friend.”
I didn’t wait for her to respond before I hung up the phone. I’d never called Camille a friend before. She was a close coworker, but she’d been there through thick and thin. If anyone deserved the moniker of ‘friend,’ it was her.
A yellow cab pulled into the driveway, startling me. What the hell?
Elsie.
Before I could stop her, she stormed out of the house, a small bag and her guitar slung over her shoulder, hopping into the taxi.
My fist clenched, and I wanted to smash it through the drywall, but I wasn’t a pissed-off kid anymore. I was old enough to know that wouldn’t fix anything, only cause more problems. “Fuck!”
Jump In the Fire
Elsie
I jumped into the cab, slammed the door shut, and ordered the driver to take me to the Millennium Biltmore. I needed to get alone with my guitar in someplace familiar. The need to process was overwhelming.
After I saw the headlines, my body went numb, and I didn’t know what to do or say. My mind was red and loud with anger. I couldn’t even remember what I’d said to Skyler, I just remember screaming.
When I finally checked into a new hotel room, I turned off all the lights and sat in the corner, guitar on my lap. The only light in the room filtered through the curtains from the sunset. As I strummed the strings, relief poured over me.
The words I’d read began swimming through my brain.
Beauty and the beast…strum…using her…strum…disfigured songstress…strum. Words from the media articles clouded my brain and the feelings finally came washing through my body.
I felt anger that they described my mother’s death so casually and sadness that they referred to me as a beastly, disfigured songwriter. I didn’t want to believe anything they wrote, but they’d written all my insecurities out on paper for the world to see.
Why would Skyler Dalton want to be with someone like me?
They took a picture of me naked! I felt violated. How could people get away with those things?
My hands strummed Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and my feelings moved from anger to sadness. My mother always sang the song to us when tucking us into bed at night. I felt closer to her whenever I played it. All I could manage was to sit there and play the song over and over, my feelings hitting me like a Mack Truck.
What would my mother do in this situation?
I wasn’t sure how long I sat there when I heard a knock at my door. Thinking it was Skyler, I ignored it. Then I heard Amelia’s voice.
“Elsie, I know you’re in there. Open the door, you little shit. I’m still your big sister. That means you have to do what I tell you!” The knocking became more insistent.
Knowing she wouldn’t go away unless I let her in, I put down the guitar, wiped my face clean of tears, and shuffled to the entrance.
I opened the door and Amelia was standing there, hands on her hips.
“I take it you’ve seen the news?” I asked.
“Skyler called me.” Pushing her way in, she shut the door behind her. “We’re going to call our lawyers and get this retracted. Fuck, we may even sue the bastards. They had no right to take that picture, let alone print it!” She took a deep breath, calming herself. “I wish I could say this was an unusual occurrence with those people. I’m really sorry, El.”
“You let me come to LA and get involved with all this, anyway? Knowing this could happen?” I yelled. Amelia stepped back. I never raised my voice.
“Yes, we all knew this could happen. The press is hungry for Skyler, especially after his last album tanked. It usually flares up and then dies down. No one could’ve expected they’d go this far.”
“I slept with him, Amelia.” I couldn’t look her in the face when I dropped that bomb.
Amelia stood silent, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. If I wasn’t so torn up, I’d have laughed. Amelia was never speechless.
“After we wrapped up the video. That night was the first time. We spent the last few days together just being us.” Thinking about being with him made my stomach hurt with longing. It’d been so wonderful going to the pier, getting tattoos together, and sitting on that beach–just being with him and loving him.
Amelia quickly regained her composure. For a moment, we forgot about the article. Her lips curled into a ridiculous grin. “I should’ve figured, them taking naked photos of you and all. And? How was it? ”
“I can’t talk about that!” I rolled my eyes.
“Oh, no. It is your sisterly obligation to tell me everything about your rock god sex. It’s in the bylaws!”
At that, I did laugh. Amelia was so predictable.
It wasn’t long before the fear and misery I’d worked through with my guitar returned, overwhelming me.
“What am I going to do?” I collapsed into Amelia’s arms.
“You? You won’t do a thing.” She squeezed me tight. “You’re going to keep on being your fabulous self, and we, as in the label, are going to bat for you. These weapons-grade dickheads are gonna wish they never knew your name by the time I’m done with ‘em.”
“But what they said is true! I slept with him and I helped him make his album. What if they’re right, Amelia? What if this isn’t real?” I whispered, not wanting to believe it was possible, not after last night and the things we’d shared.
Amelia sat me down on the couch and knelt in front of me, her hands never leaving mine.
“Now you listen to me, Elsie Clarke. No matter what decisions you make, you do not deserve to have your business lambasted in the press. Skyler did not use you. He and I may not be BFFs, but he’s a good man.”
“I love him, Amelia. I love him and I want to be with him. I want to be with him on stage and sing and have babies and dogs.” The words tumbled from my mouth, not making any sense.
Amelia smiled. “It’s all going to work out, El. Skyler loves you. I know he does.”
“How could you know? You two aren’t BFFs, remember?” I scoffed.
“I may have cornered him in my office when he came to LA two weeks ago and threatened to slice his balls off if he hurt you.” Amelia winced.
My jaw fell to the floor. “He told you he loved me under duress of castration? Amelia!”
“I was looking out for my baby sister! I let him off easy. As you can attest, he left with balls intact.” The image of Amelia standing over a cowering Skyler as he cupped his man parts made me laugh hysterically.
Skyler cared about me; if I stepped back, separated myself from this shit-storm, and thought clearly, I could see that. It wasn’t his fault they took those pictures, or that Rush gave a scathing interview.
“You know, other than the scars, I looked pretty hot in those photos,” I said, grinning.
Amelia sat next to me on the couch, put her arm around me, and squeezed. “Damn right you did. It’s those Clarke genes. Gives us some nice tits and ass.”
“I made a consultation appointment to see the surgeon again,” I confessed.
“Oh, El…that’s not what you want.”
“I know, I know! If you’d asked me three months ago what I wanted, I’d say to be left alone. Now I want people to want to see me, to hear me.”
Amelia’s smile was gentle and full of love. “They already do, El. Me, dad, and every musician you’ve ever worked with is ready to proudly be seen with you. You’re holding yourself back, honey.”
“Can you blame me? When things like this and those shitheads on YouTube happen?”
“No. I don’t blame you. Standing up against that wave of criticism is hard. But you need to look in that mirror and see the same beauty we see.”
My hands were shaking. “Every time I look in the mirror, I see her, Amelia. I see mom, hunched over the steering wheel and I can’t help but think…it’s my fault. I know it’s not true up here,” I pointed at my head, “but I don’t know it here.” I pointed to my heart. “I wish I’d died that day instead of her. But here I am, covered in a reminder that she’s gone and I’m not.”
Amelia rocked me gently in her arms. The motion was soothing. I thought I’d put aside all the trauma from the accident, but today it resurfaced with a vengeance.
“How do I do it, Amelia? I know what I have to do. I just don’t know how.”
“How? By walking out there, on your own, without a mask, and telling the world to fuck off! In fact, that should be the title of your first album: Fuck Off, by Elsie Clarke.”
“That would actually be hilarious,” I deadpanned.
“I know,” Amelia giggled maniacally. “Seriously, sweetheart, it’s going to take practice. Just like everything else in life. Going out there, taking your place in the world, fending off assholes like these TMZ pricks while owning your talent and sharing it with no shame about who you are.”
“So what you’re saying is…it’s going to suck for a while, but it’ll get easier? That’s not exactly the answer I was hoping for. Where’s my fairy godmother, dammit?” I groaned.
“Sorry, you’re the one with the magic on this ride, lil’ sis.”
“Alright.” I took a deep breath. “Be brave, be bold, be badass.”
“Fuck yeah, motherfuckers!” I laughed at Amelia’s enthusiasm.
“We need a plan.”
“Alright,” Amelia grabbed her purse and pulled out her phone. “We are going to set this shit in motion now! No going back, do you hear me?”
“No going back.” I nodded.
Amelia spent five minutes adjusting my hair, my shirt, and making me look semi-presentable. She finished with some lip gloss and mascara from her Mary Poppins purse.
“This is step one. Jump in the fire.”
“Jumping in the fire hardly seems like a step, more like a bad idea.”
Amelia waved her hand. “Same difference.”
Pulling out her phone, she stood it on the dresser across from me, making me nervous.
Be brave…be bold…be badass. I chanted over and over.
Deep breath.
“We’re making a short video. A statement. You’re going to tell the world that yes, you’re here. You’re a Grammy-winning musician whose privacy the press has violated. Tell them you intend to take legal steps and you’re not leaving. You got me?”
I stilled for a moment, considering what I could say and how I could say it. I decided to just throw the whole pot roast in the oven and maybe we could edit it before it went out.
“Okay. Let’s do it!”
“Brave, bold, and badass, right?” Amelia grinned.
“Fuck yeah,” I whispered.
I’m Gonna Tik Your Tok
Skyler
After Elsie left my condo, I turned off my phone and proceeded to get very, very drunk.
I wasn’t able to protect her; I failed. It wasn’t a surprise she left; why would she stay when she’d get torn apart by the world and her man couldn’t stop it from happening?
Feeling powerless, I’d taken my pity party out to the beach and fell asleep on the sand, Johnny Walker clutched in my hand.
What can say, I’m a classy guy?
“Wake up, Dalton! Time to face the sun and clean the sand outta yer crack.” A boot nudged me, startling me awake.
Running my tongue over my teeth, my head pounded, and I grimaced. This is why I don’t drink. I looked up at the body connected to the boot and saw Billy grinning at me like a disgruntled father.
“What time is it?” I croaked.
“Time for you to get up before Camille marches her ass down here.”
That got me sitting up straight right quick. Camille seeing me like this put the fear of God in me. I looked around, it was the next morning. I sat back on my haunches, running my hands over my face. The surf was pounding in front of me, the sand already hot from the early morning sun.
“Just lay it on me, Bill. How bad is it?”
“Come on, let’s get you inside before the paps find us and start rumors about our relationship.” He took my arm and lifted me to my feet, laughing at his own joke. “I’ll make you some breakfast and tell you what I know.” Billy turned and started walking back toward my condo. I stood on unsteady feet and followed him.
After a solid breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast rinsed down with two cups of coffee, I sat back in the chair and sighed. My brain fog was dissipating.
Elsie may have left, and she may even be avoiding me, but that doesn’t mean I’ve given up on her. I meant what I said. There was only going to be pulling in our relationship from here on out. And I intended to pull until I fell off the edge of the earth.
“So tell me,” I said, ready to face whatever was waiting for me.
“I need to show you something.” Billy pulled out his phone, pressing buttons. “You fell off the grid last night, I’m assuming because of your drunken beach walk. While shit was hitting the fan, your girl made a video.”
“She what?” He could’ve told me they made the moon of cheese and I’d believe him over Elsie going on camera willingly.
“She made a video, and did you proud, brother.” He handed me his phone and pressed play.
&nb
sp; Hello. My name is Elsie Clarke. You’ve probably seen me in such publications as TMZ as I was flagrante delicto with my boyfriend, Skyler Dalton. I won’t waste my breath lecturing the media on the invasion of privacy. I have more important things to say.
Yes, I’m involved with Skyler. And no, my father owning the label has nothing to do with it. People meet at work all the time; Skyler and I were working on his album. And you know what? I don’t care if he uses me for extra music. I’d give it to him for free. Because I love him. And that’s what people who love each other do. They give to each other.
I’ve been writing music for artists in this industry since I was sixteen years old. I’ve won Grammys. I’m a fuckin’ musical genius, and I’m not being egotistical when I say that.
I’ve stayed behind doors since an accident took the life of my mother and left me scarred. I hid because I was afraid of things like this—some two-bit, has-been reporter whittling my career down to the scars on my skin. People, we are more than what we show the world.
Until now I’ve hidden to avoid this drama. But that ends today. Prepare yourself because there’s going to be a lot more of Elsie Clarke going around.
The grin on my face was so big it hurt.
“How about that, eh?” Billy smiled.
“She did it.”
“She sure as hell did. Claimed you right on TikTok, my friend. How’s it feel to be off the market?”
“Fucking amazing!”
“Look at the comments.”
“Do I really want to?” Who knows what kind of shit the public was going to say about her. She’d gone on screen without makeup, her face full-on. To me, she was beautiful. I didn’t want to have to murder anyone today for insulting her.
“GeneralTsao252 says she’s a lucky bitch for snagging Skyler Dalton’s sweet ass. They must think you have sugar up your butthole or somethin.’” Billy read the comments out loud. So many of them were positive, encouraging her and lambasting the media for violating her privacy so flagrantly.
Scarred Melody: A Rockstar Romance: Bold Melodies Book One Page 22