How to Live with Temptation

by Fiona Brand

  She drew a deep breath.“Okay. Let’s try. That sounds good to me.”

  Lifting up on her toes, she angled her jaw and kissed him. It had been a long, horrible day. She had been anxious, miserable and on edge, and she had thought she had lost Tobias.

  Tobias responded by lifting her up, cupping her bottom as he held her against him. Dimly, she registered that they were walking. He set her down as he opened the door that led to the house, linked his fingers with hers, then led her into the hallway that ran past the kitchen.

  They didn’t make it to the upstairs bedroom. Instead, Tobias swung her into his arms, carried her several steps, then shouldered into a downstairs guest room. White shutters cut out the gloom of the rainy afternoon, throwing shadows over the large white bed.

  Setting her down on her feet, he shrugged out of his jacket, dragged off his tie, then pulled her close again. When she surfaced from the kiss, she fumbled at his buttons, pulled at the crisp, gauzy linen until it slid from his shoulders, then slid her palms over hard muscle and heated skin.

  Another languorous kiss, and she registered the loosening of her skirt as the zipper glided down. Cool air circulated against her skin as turquoise silk puddled on the floor. She pulled free to undo the shirt, which was tied, then lifted it over her head, along with the soft camisole. Moments later, her bra was gone, and her breath came in as Tobias cupped her breasts, bent down and took one nipple into his mouth.

  Sensation shimmered and seared, tension rocketed through her, then they were moving again, backward this time. She felt the brush of cool cotton on the back of her thighs. Then, she pulled at the fastening of his pants, dragged the zipper down and cupped him.

  Tobias muttered something short and flat, stilled her hand and pulled her close for another deep, drugging kiss. Seconds later, he peeled out of his pants, then paused to extract a foil packet from the pocket. Breath locked in her throat, she stepped out of her own panties and climbed onto the bed, watching as he tore open the packet and sheathed himself. Moments later, he joined her on the bed, but, as he settled himself between her legs, she pushed at his shoulders.

  “Not this way.”

  He grinned and allowed her to push him on his back, then straddle him and slowly sheath herself.

  His hands settled at her hips and, she began to move, a little awkwardly at first, then with growing confidence. His gaze locked with hers as he reached up and cupped her breasts. She gasped as tension coiled and gathered. A split second later, Tobias moved, reversing their positions and holding her beneath him as he slowly thrust inside her. Long minutes passed, during which she clung to his shoulders. Despite the rain, the afternoon was warm, the air thick and humid, making it difficult to breathe. Reaching up, she pulled his head down and fastened her mouth to his, and the afternoon splintered and shimmered into sultry heat.

  * * *

  Half an hour later, Allegra woke from a light doze and immediately knew something was wrong.

  Tobias, dressed only in just his narrow, dark suit pants, his chest bare, was standing in the doorway, one hand filled with expensive, luxurious diamonds. His remote gaze, when it had been so soft and warm before, struck a chill through her. “Where did you get these?”

  Allegra sat up straight, dragging the sheet around her breasts. She had been relaxed and warm, but now her stomach was tight and churning, her mind whirling a million miles an hour. Tobias must have gone out to the garage and seen her tote on the floor. At a guess, the case of diamonds had tumbled out and opened. “I think that’s my business, but if you must know, the diamonds came from Esmae. They’re Mallory family jewelry.”

  He was silent for a beat. “Try again, Allegra. Everyone knows Esmae was broke before she married my grandfather. Apparently, she had a few Edwardian trinkets, but nothing of any value.”

  The shock of the words, the way they were said, was like a slap in the face.

  Out of nowhere, her heart began to race. Allegra drew a quick breath. “Okay then,” she said quietly, “you tell me where I got them from.”

  “I know about the scandal in San Francisco.”

  And he was putting two and two together: supposed lovers, gifts of expensive jewelry. “Of course. That’s why you ditched me two years ago, so I suppose it’s just as good an excuse to ditch me now.”

  His brows jerked together. “This is not about ditching.”

  She noticed he didn’t refute that he had dumped her because he had bought into Halliday’s and Fischer’s lies. “So you still want to sleep with me, despite everything?”

  She cut him off before he could answer. “If you want to know where the necklace came from, you could always get your little detective, Tulley, to do some more legwork.” Her stomach sank when she logged the expression on his face. “Too late. You’ve already gotten him to pry into my past.”

  “Only because it didn’t add up.”

  “Of course, it didn’t. It’s hard to trace where pretty women get their jewelry from, especially when it’s given to them by their families or as pageant prizes, or from an elderly aunt. But if you need verification, call a jeweler called Clark who works at Ambrosi. He’s doing some checking for me on provenance and value. By now, he should have the record of sale for the pieces that came from Esmae. As for the rest of the diamonds I own, where I got them from is private and absolutely none of your business.”

  Tobias frowned. “I had to ask—”

  “I know. But if you don’t mind,” she said coolly, winding the sheet around herself like a toga, and stepping out of the bed. “I need to get dressed and get back to work. It’s the middle of the afternoon and, now that Mike’s gone, we’re short-staffed.”

  Tobias stared at her. For a moment, she almost thought he was going to soften, take her in his arms and say he was sorry for doubting her. That he didn’t care where the diamonds came from, and that the only thing that mattered was what they felt for one another.

  But then his phone rang, breaking the moment. Placing the jewels onto the dressing table, he slid his phone out of his back pocket and left the room, closing the door behind him.

  Allegra stared at the door. She had managed to hide it, but the fact that Tobias had had her investigated, and that he still refused to take her word, had shaken her.

  She guessed that, in her heart of hearts, she had hoped he would finally let his stubborn distrust of her go, that if she poured enough love into the relationship, he would understand who she was, and allow himself to fall for her.

  She had been wrong.

  Allegra collected the diamonds, her jaw tightening at the way Tobias had so easily reverted to seeing her as the kind of shallow, cliché woman who would exchange sex for jewelry.

  She had zero tolerance for that kind of stereotyping. In Tobias’s case: less than zero.

  Added to that, she was over the idea that Esmae had married for money and that Mallory women bartered relationships for a cushy lifestyle.

  She knew something of Tobias’s background, that the narrative was reinforced by his own experience as a child, when his father had lavished jewelry on his mistresses, but it didn’t make it any easier to hear. It threw up the barrier that had been standing between them all along: that Tobias didn’t seem to trust in love.

  And he especially didn’t trust in her love.

  Her problem was, she was in love with Tobias, and had been for six years. However, she was now certain that love was not something Tobias would probably ever feel for her. How could he, when he clearly didn’t trust her?

  The grim line in Elena Lyons-Messena’s book seemed to flash like a neon light in her mind.

  If your alpha shows no signs of falling in love, leave. Save yourself.

  She had to leave. Today.

  She couldn’t stay. Not in Tobias’s bed, or even this house. She would lose her shares, but she didn’t care, she preferred to keep her self-respec
t. It just meant that she would do what she should always have done, and buy Tobias out.

  As for the clause in the will that said her oldest brother Quin could make some kind of claim should Tobias not manage the resort for the full month, she would tell Quin to stay out of it, and she would tell him why. Once he understood what was at stake, he would take her side. Family was family.

  It would be a wrench leaving. It was going to hurt way more than it had two years ago, because now she knew she was in love with Tobias, and had been all along. But she could not stay with a man who did not trust her.

  She had kept herself on hold for Tobias for six years, and the plain fact was she couldn’t afford to do that anymore.

  Opening the door, she headed for the stairs. The low timbre of Tobias’s voice registered somewhere in the distance, which only made her feel more miserable, because she had gotten used to the sound of his voice, and used to having him near.

  Worried about her heart rate, Allegra phoned her doctor and made an urgent appointment. Afterward, she quickly showered and dressed, choosing a pair of natural-colored linen pants, a white camisole and, because it was definitely cooling down, a white sweater. Moving like an automaton she fixed a pair of silver filigree earrings that were go-to favorites to her lobes and applied basic makeup.

  As she coiled her hair into a loose knot and pinned it, she noted that her heart was still pounding too fast. Worryingly, it hadn’t stopped, and it was starting to make her feel light-headed.

  She strapped on her sports watch, tapped the app on her phone and waited for the reading to come up. The rate was one hundred and thirty beats per minute. She would routinely achieve that when she was doing a workout, but all she was doing was strolling around her bedroom.

  Not good.

  It was possible the rate would drop, and this was nothing but a false alarm. However, just in case she did need to go to the hospital, she packed a change of underwear, some jeans and a casual sweatshirt in her tote. On the two occasions she had been admitted, the first had been an overnight stay, and the second had amounted to just a couple of hours. She had no idea what would happen this time, but she needed to be prepared to stay overnight. Both times chemical intervention had worked its magic and switched her heart rate back to a normal rhythm.

  The decision to leave Tobias, now, before she went to the doctor, settled in. She was twenty-seven; thirty was just around the corner, and the speed with which the years were passing was getting scary.

  Marriage and babies had not been at the forefront of her thinking. How could they be, when she had never been able to settle into a viable relationship because she had been hopelessly in love with a man who had no conception of who she truly was?

  The plain fact was, she did want love and marriage. And she wanted them with a man who could truly love and cherish her.

  And that man was not Tobias.

  Fourteen

  Feeling slightly shaky with adrenaline, Allegra retrieved her suitcase from the closet and began tossing clothes into it. She snatched a Messena jungle-print dress off the hanger, gathered up lingerie, marched out to the bedroom and shoved it all in the suitcase.

  Feeling increasingly agitated, because she had spent so much money on buying Francesca-look-alike things, she gathered up shoes and packed them into a separate bag. By the time she had packed all of her clothes, the case was stuffed full of Messena pieces. She needed to weed them out, give them away and concentrate on getting herself back.

  Not that she had lost herself, she thought grimly. All she had lost was her confidence.

  Walking through to the bathroom, she packed her toiletries. Returning to the bedroom, she shoveled her makeup into a carry case, cleared out the dresser and zipped her suitcase closed.

  Feeling distinctly breathless, because the rushing around had made her heart race even faster, she snapped the jewelry cases closed and dropped them into her tote. On impulse, she also stored Alexandra’s diary in her tote. If she was going to have some downtime in the hospital, or even at home, she might as well read it.

  The sound of a door closing brought her head up. It could only be Tobias, because it was late enough that Marta would have left for the day. For a moment, she thought he might stop at her door and knock, but he continued past. She heard his tread on the stairs, then the closing of the kitchen door.

  The sound of his truck starting was only just audible through the rain, which had gotten heavier. Bleakly, Allegra slipped into comfortable flats. The weather was supposed to deteriorate more, with strong winds and heavy rain, so there was no point wearing delicate high heels.

  Ten minutes later, she had all of her luggage jammed into her cramped convertible. She started the car and activated the soft top. When it was snugly in place, she backed out. It was still too early for her appointment with her doctor, so she decided to drive to her apartment and unload the luggage first.

  As she accelerated down the drive, which was already littered with leaves stripped off by the blustery winds, she speed-dialed Janice and told her that she was very possibly on her way to hospital for the afternoon, and asked her to go through their list of part-time therapists and see who was available to come in and take over Mike’s classes for the rest of the week.

  An hour later, after dropping off her things at her apartment, and the consult with her doctor, she phoned Janice who knew some basics about her condition, and told her she was being admitted to Mercy Hospital, probably just for the afternoon. Luckily, her doctor, Alicia Ortez, had worked at Mercy for a number of years and had been able to get her a referral direct to the cardiac unit rather than sending her to sit in the ER. That wasn’t exactly usual practice but, because Esmae had left Mercy a sizable donation in her will, and there was a bed available for a few hours, Allegra had gotten seen. And, happily, she could afford Mercy. One of the things her parents had done for her was make sure she had excellent medical insurance.

  As familiar as she was with the process after two previous admissions, the procedure was still slightly scary—after all, this was her heart. After she’d had her pulse and blood pressure checked by a nurse, she was transferred to a room and hooked up to an electrocardiogram. Half an hour later, a doctor strolled in, checked her stats and asked her a list of questions about what might have kicked off this episode.

  The phrase a broken heart popped into her mind. But, when her pulse jumped and she saw his frown, she took a slow, deep breath, attempted to exude calm serenity, and mentioned Esmae’s death and the stress of work. He ticked a couple of boxes, hooked the clipboard on the end of her bed, then administered a drug she’d had before, Adenosine, which she knew acted to chemically reset the electrical activity of her heart.

  If that didn’t work, the next option was electrical cardioversion, which she would only agree to as an absolute last resort. It was bad enough knowing that the drug he was injecting would slow, even pause, her heart in order to reset the rate. Allegra did not want to have the job done with who knew however many volts of electricity.

  While she waited for the drug to work, she picked up her phone, which she’d set on her bedside table, and turned it off. Janice knew where she was, and why, so there was no need to be in touch. And the last thing she needed right now was to unconsciously wait for Tobias to call her, then start hoping that he would. That was the kind of thinking that had worked against her for the past six years.

  Instead, she reached for Alexandra’s diary and began to read.

  An hour later, she set it down.

  The story Alexandra had written in her own hand had been intensely personal and unexpected. She had had an affair with Jebediah, but it hadn’t just been an affair; they had planned to marry. At a guess, the engagement ring Allegra had had resized that morning had been Alexandra’s engagement ring from Jebediah.

  Unfortunately, Alexandra’s husband, a wealthy and powerful English aristocrat who had a reputati
on for violence, and who they all thought had died before Alexandra had left England, hadn’t died at all. Intent on reclaiming his runaway wife, he had travelled to America, and had found out where she lived. Warned by her lawyer, Alexandra had taken the children and run.

  She had settled in New York, hoping to lose herself in the city, but he had eventually found her there, too, and had claimed her house and all her assets. True to form, he had put Alexandra in hospital, then had gone back to England, leaving her broke.

  But he hadn’t gotten everything. Knowing the risk, Alexandra had systematically converted the oil money into diamonds, an investment she had buried in the garden of the townhouse that had just been sold from under her. Just before she died of her injuries, she had directed Esmae to dig up the jewelry, sell half of it and give the cash to her son, Allegra’s grandfather. Esmae was to sell whatever diamonds she needed to live, but to keep as many as possible as insurance against hard times.

  But Esmae had clearly been luckier in love than Alexandra had ever been, which explained why she had managed to keep a great deal of Alexandra’s jewelry, and why she hadn’t ever worn it. In honor of Alexandra, she had kept it hidden away, an “insurance policy” she had then passed on to Allegra.

  * * *

  Tobias strode into his downtown office and dropped his briefcase on his desk. He closed his door, signaling to his PA that he wanted privacy. The last thing he needed was for Jean to be privy to the calls he was about to make.

  He had spent the last hour surfing the social media accounts of both Halliday and Fischer, so, when he got hold of Tulley, it was no surprise to hear what he had to report.

  Both men had unsavory reputations and a bent for going after younger women. The evidence pointed to Burns-Stein Halliday failing to act on Allegra’s behalf because Halliday was the nephew of one of the partners and Fischer was married to the senior partner’s daughter. The kicker was, that this wasn’t the first time they had covered up for Fischer and Halliday.