by Aiden Bates
Gavin did know that, though no matter how many times Raul assured him of it he was never quite sure he believed it could be true. Though it must be, if Raul said, because he trusted Raul completely. He flushed.
“I know, but I... You might have changed your mind.”
Raul laughed. “Changed my mind, sweet thing? Not on your life.”
He wrapped an arm tighter around Gavin, pulling him in again, and gently guided his head down to rest on Raul’s shoulder. “I would never change my mind about you, Gavin. You’re mine.”
“So you’ll talk to him?”
“I’ll talk to him today if I thought I could get away with it. But of course I’ll have to send a formal request for a meeting.”
Gavin wrapped his arms tight around his Alpha. “Thank you,” he said against Raul’s neck. “God, Alpha. I don’t know why I wanted so long.”
“Because you were afraid that we might lose what little we have,” Raul said, and that didn’t exactly make him feel better, but his Alpha’s fingers were still sliding through his hair. “But it will be better this way. I promise you. I’m the Alpha of a pack with more than thirty wolves. He’s not going to turn me down. “
Gavin wasn’t so sure about that, but he didn’t say. He didn’t want to jinx it. Raul would ask, and his father would say yes, and it would all be okay. It had to be. He pulled back enough to smile at up his Alpha.
“He won’t turn you down,” he said, though it was more of a prayer than an assured statement.
Ral smiled back at him. “Not a chance, baby. Not a chance.”
Chapter Four
Two days later, Gavin’s father came into the kitchen as Gavin was making dinner and sat down at the table. Gavin heard him sigh as he lowered himself into the chair.
“Gavin,” his father said. “I want to talk to you about something.”
Gavin felt his stomach drop. He looked up slowly from the bread he was slicing and hoped his voice wouldn’t come out as shaky as he felt.
“Yes, sir?”
“I received a message from Raul Fallon.”
His heart was beating much too fast in his chest. Gavin crossed his wrists behind his back so his father couldn’t see his hands and squared his shoulders.
“What did he want?”
His father laughed, a short, sharp sound. “He’s asked my permission to present a formal mating request.”
Oh god. Gavin’s throat was too tight. He couldn’t speak. He took a desperate breath in through his nose and leaned one hip surreptitiously against the counter so it would hold him up.
“A formal mating request?” he echoed, voice coming out a little tight. That couldn’t be helped. Maybe his father would think it was nerves. “And what did you tell him, sir?”
He raised his eyes to his father’s face and found his father looking back at him, eyes narrowed and brows drawn downward.
“I told him that he’s welcome to try,” he said. “But that he shouldn’t expect much.”
Gavin’s stomach twisted. No. He had told Raul to ask. Raul had promised him that he wouldn’t be turned down. He had been so sure. But it didn’t matter that he was the Alpha of one of the strongest packs for five hundred miles. Gavin’s father hated him for his support of Blake in his unannounced mating, and he didn’t like their stance on the traditions. Didn’t like the freedom they gave omegas. Of course he wasn’t going to let his own son become one of them. Gavin reached out a hand and curled his fingers over the countertop.
“Father...”
He didn’t finish it, didn’t know what to say. What could he offer that would make his father change his mind?
His father stood abruptly, chair squeaking across the wood of the floor, and Gavin went very still as he heard footsteps pace quietly toward him. He had dropped his gaze again, couldn’t make himself look up even as he felt his father’s presence approach. When he was so close that Gavin could smell nothing but the wood and oil scent of him, he leaned down a little nearer, and Gavin head him take a slow breath in through his nose.
“Gavin.” There was no hesitation in his voice. There was only expectation. He was the Alpha, and he would be answered. “What aren’t you telling me, omega?”
Gavin’s teeth sank sharply into his lower lip and he shrank back a little against the imaginary shelter of the counter.
“It’s... It’s nothing, Alpha. I’m not.”
A growl rumbled low in his father’s throat and Gavin instinctively bared his threat, head tipped back and to the side. He let air out slowly through his nose, but couldn’t stop the way his breath was coming fast and shallow. His fingers were curled hard enough around the rim of the counter to ache.
“You have one more chance. Don’t lie to me again.”
He closed his eyes, swallowed hard against the tightness in his throat.
“I’m sorry, sir. I-” Another swallow. “I just... I’m not asking you to go against your principles.” He tried to make his voice come out louder than a whisper, and failed. “I just like him, sir.”
“You like him?” His father’s voice was slow and disbelieving. “Raul Fallon?”
Gavin took a breath in and let it out, shuddering. “Yes, Alpha.”
He heard the derisive snort.
“And just what do you know about Raul?”
Gavin felt his cheeks flush hot. It had been a long time since he felt like a pup, even in his father’s house, but right now he felt like nothing so much as a chastised child, though he would be twenty two in only a few weeks.
“I know he’s kind, sir. I’ve– I’ve seen him speak with his people. And with others. He is honorable, even if he doesn’t hold to all the traditions as closely as we do.” He forced a tentative smile, looked up at his father. “And he’s not so bad to look at.”
The little huff of breath became an outright laugh.
“How like an omega,” his father said. “All head over heels for a strong body and a nice jawline.”
Gavin flinched.
“You really want me to give him a chance, omega?”
“Yes, sir,” he answered, hardly more than a breath. “I would like it if you would at least speak with him. Please?”
Hands caught under his chin and lifted his face until he was forced to look into his father’s eyes. Gavin made himself meet them, told himself he couldn’t look away. If he dropped his gaze, his father would know that there was something wrong. Something he still hadn’t told.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
His father’s hand fell away from his chin.
“Fine. I will give him a chance to talk. But Gavin? I’m not going to do him any special favors. “
Gavin nodded. “Yes, sir. I understand. Thank you, Alpha.”
“Good.” his father said firmly. “Now, I believe there’s dinner to finish.”
He dropped into the seat at the table he’d been in before and Gavin went back to making dinner, careful not to let his trembling fingers get too near the edge of the bread knife.
Chapter Five
The suit would be presented at the summer meet. It didn’t have to be, but the presence of the other packs added weight to the declaration of intention. Gavin’s father had insisted on it, but Gavin wasn’t sure Raul wouldn’t have done it anyway. It was just like Raul to do a thing to the fullest if it had to be done. The thought almost brought a smile to his lips where he knelt on the floor of his father’s bathroom, scrubbing the slate tile.
His father hadn’t seemed particularly pleased with him since they had discussed the possible request. But he hadn’t been in a bad mood either, so Gavin supposed that was positive. He brushed a loose strand of hair back from his face with a damp hand and went back to scrubbing. Two weeks and he would know for certain whether or not he was going to have the Alpha he wanted.
It was going to be a long two weeks.
And there was more to contend with than the wait for the summer meet. Gavin’s heat was comin
g up. Just a few days, he thought. Sometimes it was hard to tell exactly when it would be, but his came with the waxing moon most months. He sighed as he dipped the scrub brush back in the bucket of soapy water. Heats were one of the reasons most omegas mated by the time they were out of their teens. Once they had their first heat, they knew just how hard it was to make it through one without an alpha, and most of them weren’t all that keen to try again any more often than they had to. Gavin had been having heats he since he was seventeen, and he’d never had an Alpha to help him through one.
Some omegas, he knew, did that now. Had an Alpha they trusted. But in his pack that kind of thing definitely wasn’t allowed, and even if it had been allowed his father would have firmly vetoed it. So Gavin made it through his heat the way omegas had for generations before his own: locked up in his room with the occasional toy to help with the frustration. And they weren’t really as much help as they were alleged to be.
The floor was nearly done, only a comer of it still dry, and Gavin backed out of the room entirely and into the hall to finish the last few inches. When those were scrubbed too he dropped the brush back in the bucket, then got to his feet, pressing his hands to the small of his back and arching to stretch the muscles that had been in one position for far too long.
There wasn’t much Gavin disliked as much as he disliked cleaning floors. Except cleaning toilets. That was worst. Raul had promised him that he wouldn’t have to scrub floors on his hands and knees any more if they were mated. He’d been laughing as he said it, but Gavin was certain that he would keep that promise if he was asked to. That thought made him smile, the warm glow that thinking of Raul always started under his skin lighting again. What he had told his father was true. Raul was kind. And honorable. And the fact that he didn’t exactly respect tradition wasn’t a downside.
Raul would let him go to college, if he asked. They’d talked about it a few times. Gavin hadn’t exactly outright said that he wanted to go, but Raul had seen the way he always carried a book with him. Had even bought him a novel or two. Hiding those from his father hadn’t been easy, but it was worth it. If they were found, he could just tell him that they’d been bought with the money from the small allowance he was granted each month. His father didn’t exactly approve of such frivolous purchases, but he wasn’t going to be angry about them as long as Gavin hadn’t obviously spent the money on books instead of something he needed.
Two weeks, Gavin thought again, and some of the happiness grew a little less warm. He wanted to know now. Wanted the answer to be yes. If his father gave his permission, they could be mated by autumn. Gavin wasn’t sure that he wanted to live in Superior, but he could get used to it. They would be closer to the lake, and Raul had promised him frequent vacations in the woods.
Raul had promised him a lot of things, Gavin knew. More than most Alphas would. And it wasn’t that he had to have them. But having an Alpha who cared enough to know what he wanted–who would promise to give him the things that the traditions his father followed so closely never would–that was important to Gavin.
He dumped the bucket of soapy water down the sink in the kitchen, then washed his hands and the bucket, drying it out for next time. There was still his bathroom to clean, but that didn’t have to be done quite this minute. Maybe tomorrow. He looked out the window at the tree-shaded lawn, where raindrops were dripping from the feathery branches of the pines, and thought about walking out to check on the garden.
His father wouldn’t be home for a while yet. Gavin opened the door and stepped out into the long, wet grass. It was cool against his bare feet, and he relished the sensation. He had always loved the rain, the way it closed the world in around their little patch of forest. He loved the way the mist curled through the trees and made even the most familiar places a little strange.
Down in the garden, the planets were dripping too, water gathering at the ends of the tomato leaves and dropping into the dirt. Gavin reached out and ran his fingers along the curled bud of a zucchini. Maybe he and Raul could have a garden too. He’d always liked growing things. He liked knowing that what he put on his table came from his own hands. A smile lifted one corner of his mouth. He’d inherited at least a little of his father’s love for tradition, it seemed. Glancing one last time out over the rainy yard, Gavin went back inside.
“You shouldn’t be out in the rain without your shoes on.”
He startled, gaze shifting rapidly over the room until he settled on his father, sitting in the chair at the head of the table. The reprimand in the words, he realized had been more teasing than serious. That, at least, was one thing his father had never cared about. There were a lot worse things than running around outside barefoot. Especially for a wolf shifter.
“You’re home early,” Gavin said neutrally, wiping his damp feet on the rug.
“Had a bit of an easy day, thought I’d come back and see how you were doing. I know you’re nearing your heat.”
Gavin settled down on the chair at the foot of the table, turned slightly side-on to his father. He watched him out of the corner of his eye, wandering if there was some special point to that statement.
“Yes,” he said quietly. “I’m near it. Not for a few days yet, though.”
His father sighed. “I know as you get older they’re not getting easier, Gavin, and I’m sorry for that. I know I’ve held off on getting you a mate.”
Gavin stared. He was trying not to make it too obvious, but he was sure the surprise must show in his expression. His father was apologizing. He hadn’t explained why he was so reluctant to see Gavin mated, but that was less surprising.
“That’s okay,” he said. “I’m not really in a rush, to be honest.”
“Not even for Raul Fallon?”
Gavin caught his lower lip between his teeth. “No, sir,” he said quietly. “Not even for Raul Fallon.”
It was an outright lie, and his stomach twisted. He tried not to lie to his father if he could help it, certainly didn’t tell him lies to his face. It was much too dangerous.
“Explain to me again,” his father said, keeping his voice casual though his eyes were fixed sternly on Gavin. “How you came to be so interested in him.”
Gavin swallowed hard. Was there something that had given them away? Was that why he was asking? Did he know something that Gavin hadn’t told him?
“I don’t think I’m the only one interested in him, you know,” he said, trying for a joke. It fell a little flat.
HIs father just looked at him.
“I’ve seen him at a few of the pack meets. The all-pack meets, I mean. And at the meeting they called when the hunters were here. He seemed like a good man. I know...” He took a breath and let it out again. “I know that his pack doesn’t hold to tradition as strongly as ours, but I don’t think that necessarily means that we have to eschew all contact with them. We’re all wolves.”
His father’s head was tipped to one side. He looked at Gavin thoughtfully.
“I suppose that is true enough,” he said, sounding a little grudging about accepting the idea. “I admit I’m not happy with the thought of you mating into a pack as loose as Raul’s. Or his sister’s, for that matter. There are traditions for a reason.”
One of those traditions was not letting a female Alpha lead the pack. Another reason for his father to dislike the Fallons.
Gavin lowered his eyes, looked up at his father through his lashes with his chin tilted toward the floor and his hands in his lap. “I know my place, sir. I would never be an embarrassment to you.”
“An embarrassment to me?”
Gavin looked up when he heard his father’s tone. It wasn’t the response he had expected. His father was shaking his head.
“No,” Gavin,” he said gently. “You won’t be an embarrassment to me. I raised you well, and you come from good genes.” He managed a smile that didn’t look like he was forcing it. “You’re a good omega, son.”
His father had never said that to him before. Ga
vin looked down at his hands, wondering how he was supposed to process that. It felt good to hear that from his father. But guilt hit him like a rockslide. He wasn’t a good omega. He was going behind his father’s back with an Alpha that his father didn’t even like. And he was doing things that would spoil his value as a mate if his father wanted to mate him to someone who wasn’t Raul. His stomach twisted again, and this time Gavin thought he might be sick.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, like nothing was going on behind his smile. “That means a lot to me, to hear that from you.”
It would have meant even more if he’d heard it when he was still a good omega.
-----
My father told me I’m a good omega.
He wasn’t sure if the pause was meant to denote shock, or if Raul was busy, but his answer took a while to come back.
Isn’t that a good thing baby?
How did he always know, even with emotionless, impersonal text, what Gavin was feeling?
Would b. If I was a good omega.
His phone rang an instant later. Gavin picked it up before it could ring again, glancing nervously at the closed door of his bedroom. His father would surely be in bed already, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t hear a phone ring in at eleven pm. And if he heard it, he’d want to know who it was. Gavin didn’t have a lot of friends who would call him after ten o’ clock. He didn’t have a lot of friends at all, in fact. There weren’t any omegas his own age in Rollins. He had a passing acquaintance with Grey Sheldon, Blake Marrock’s younger brother, but Grey was two years his senior, and had been mated since he was nineteen.
“You are a good omega,” Raul said as soon as he whispered a greeting into the mouthpiece. “What on earth makes you think you aren’t?”
Gavin curled up against his pillows and watched the way the darkness made the carpet on the floor look like static. He tugged at his lower lip with his teeth.