The Consultant's Recovery

by Gill Sanderson

  ‘April Manson?’ Tania said incredulously. ‘You're not sending April Manson?’

  She knew that Jonathan and April just wouldn't get on. April was a big booming woman, who only got on well with people who didn't mind her bossy nature.

  With some clients it was an approach that worked. It wouldn't work with Jonathan.

  ‘April is an experienced and able worker. Good morning, Miss Richardson.’

  She walked out of his office in a daze. This was the last thing she had expected. Slumping at her desk, she wondered about her future. Perhaps it was time she moved on. Now she would never be able to work comfortably with Derrick. And her position was precarious – she was only a temporary worker after all, could be sacked at a moment's notice. And what about Jonathan? She would phone him tonight. In her own time.

  There was more paperwork to get on with. She supposed that compiling statistical returns was necessary and might even be useful – to somebody. It took her mind off things, but it was dreary.

  After an hour she lifted her head, hearing sounds of argument outside. This wasn't uncommon. Often the boarders had loud arguments about something or other.

  But this seemed different.

  Suddenly, behind her, her office door crashed open. A voice she recognised shouted, loudly, angrily, ‘Tania… Tania … where are you?’

  She turned her head in horror. There in the doorway was Jonathan – dressed in his customary T-shirt and chinos. And judging by his face, he was angry! He was holding – or being held by – April Manson. For the first time ever April seemed to be out of control of a situation. She looked red-faced and anxious.

  ‘Jonathan? What are you doing here? You shouldn't be –’

  ‘I've come to see you and to see your boss, Gee. Incidentally, I would at least have expected a phone call from you, Tania. But the way this place is run …’

  She knew it would cause trouble. But for the moment she just didn't care. Seeing Jonathan had made her feel happy and reckless, in equal proportions. ‘I was specifically ordered not to phone you,’ she said. ‘But I would have called tonight.’

  ‘I see.’ Jonathan turned to the quaking April and said, ‘Thank you for your help, Miss Manson, but now Miss Richardson will be taking over. I don't need you any more.’

  ‘But Mr Gee said –’

  ‘What Mr Gee said will be unsaid. Now, goodbye!’ April hesitated a moment, then scuttled away.

  ‘Tania, will you, please come and take me to Mr Gee's office?’

  She went over, put his hand on her arm. ‘I can take you over here Jonathan. But do you think it's wise? Why not phone for an appointment?’

  ‘I made another appointment for this morning. With you. It wasn't kept. Now I'm going to find out why. So let's go to see this Mr Gee.’

  ‘Well, his secretary is outside so we could ask her –’

  ‘No. We walk past and tell her where we're going. Now, take me to his room!’

  She could have argued, of course. But an angry Jonathan was a fearsome sight. Ann, Derrick's secretary, looked up from her computer as Tania led Jonathan into her little outer room. ‘I'm afraid Mr Gee's rather busy at the moment, Tania,’ she said. ‘I think –’

  ‘Busy or not, we're going in to see him,’ Jonathan said. ‘There's no need to announce us, we'll announce ourselves.’

  ‘But Tania … Mr … you can't …’ Jonathan pushed Tania forwards. She had no option but to ignore Ann's plaintive call and lead him to the door of Derrick's office. Wondering just where this all would end, she opened the door.

  Derrick looked up, half alarmed, half puzzled.

  ‘Tania? Dr. Knight? I'm sorry but I just don't have time at the moment to –’

  ‘You will find time,’ Jonathan roared, ‘and you'll find time right now!’

  In a quieter voice he added, ‘Tania, please find me a chair and put it facing Mr Gee's desk.’

  She did so, then led him to it. At the same time Derrick was saying, ‘This is most unprofessional. There is a system if you wish to speak to me, a means whereby I –’

  Now Jonathan was comfortable. He leaned forward, touched the edge of Derrick's desk and snarled, ‘I believe that my case and my treatment were discussed in this office this morning. I was neither consulted nor informed. No attempt was made to canvass my views. I may be blind but I still have the rest of my faculties. This was a piece of gross impertinence and, to use your own word, was most unprofessional. What have you to say?’

  Derrick looked wildly around his office. Something like this had never happened to him before, and he quite obviously didn't know what to do.

  ‘Dr. Knight, we often discuss our clients and consider future treatments. In this case I thought –’

  ‘I very much doubt that you thought! If you had thought, you would have asked me. I'm a health professional myself, Mr Gee, and I'm capable of commenting on my own treatment. I believe that by removing Miss Richardson you have significantly affected my therapy. This is in no way a comment on Miss Manson, who, I'm sure, is very competent, but Miss Richardson here and myself have established a very good working relationship.’

  ‘Relationship!’ Derrick seized on the word. Obviously he thought that this might give him a chance to fight back. ‘I was concerned with the growing relationship between yourself and your rehabilitation worker. I thought it undesirable.’

  ‘Undesirable to me or to yourself? You acted because of purely personal reasons, Mr Gee – because of your own feelings for Miss Richardson. Now, does my care revert to Miss Richardson or do I have to make a formal complaint? And when I say complaint, I'm talking about referring your conduct to the Board of Trustees of this place, also instructing my solicitor to make a claim for damages from your good self.’

  There was an appalled silence. Then Jonathan said quietly, ‘Of course, this all may have been a misunderstanding. No more need be said if things revert to how they were. If you need to speak to us, Miss Richardson and myself will be in the garden. Tania?’

  She looked at Derrick. She had never seen a man so stricken. He just nodded. She led Jonathan into the garden, where they sat together on a bench in the sun.

  ‘I didn't lose my temper,’ he protested. ‘Didn't you hear me speak quite calmly to him just before we left?’

  ‘You weren't speaking calmly! You were doing what my mother called shouting quietly. You were dreadful.’

  ‘Perhaps,’ he said, ‘but that man's a bully, and I detest bullies. And to send that April Manson in your place! That was sheer cruelty, sheer vindictiveness. She might be competent at her job, but the woman has the sensitivity of a blunt chisel. Asked if I wouldn't like floral curtains for the big window?’

  Tania giggled. ‘In her way April is very good,’ she said. ‘A lot of our clients like her.’

  ‘Those with pink net curtains. Now, tell me exactly what did happen this morning.’

  Tania thought. ‘Well, in spite of what you shouted at him,’ she said, ‘he did have a point. He knew we'd been getting … involved and that kind of thing can harm both the reputation of this school and the welfare of our clients. And we are warned to watch out for clients who want to get emotionally involved with us.’

  ‘And was that the only reason for moving you? Tell me honestly.’

  She knew he would detect it if she were telling a lie. ‘No,’ she said. ‘He found out we'd been out together last night and he didn't like it.’

  ‘Fair enough. Now, where are we up to in my training?’

  Tania was glad to be allowed to carry on working with Jonathan. A message had been sent out to them – not from Derrick in person – that for the moment it would be all right for Miss Richardson to continue with Dr. Knight's rehabilitation. So she had brought him back to his flat and was now concentrating on further long stick work around the gardens of the flats.

  After a while she said, ‘I'm going up to the flat to fetch us both a glass of orange. You're on your own now, Jonathan. But stay in the garden!’
/>   ‘I will,’ he said.

  In many ways it was an ideal place to work. There was no traffic. The paths were gravel, not concrete, so there was no edge for him to feel, but he could tell the difference between the softness of the grass and the crunchy gravel. In the middle of the garden was a concrete square, with a pool and a fountain in its centre. She left him learning how to walk round the pool and then make for a wooden bench. He was quick to learn and it was heartening to watch him.

  When Tania came back he was as absorbed as ever, practising moves over and over again. She told him to find a bench and they would sit down for a while. He wasn't to work too hard.

  ‘I enjoyed last night so much,’ he said. ‘I've been replaying it in my memory. And I was so much looking forward to seeing you this morning – that is, to you coming – and then that woman turned up!’

  ‘Well, I'm here now,’ she said placidly, ‘and I enjoyed last night very much as well.’

  ‘Good. Now, tell me about the candles.’

  She couldn't help it. She knew she flinched and she knew he'd noticed it. ‘All forms of naked flame are a danger to those with impaired vision,’ she said. ‘I don't like open fires either.’

  ‘Hmm. I thought there might be a more personal reason to your dislike.’ Jonathan was as astute as ever.

  ‘Well, I once did have an accident,’ she told him, ‘but, please, don't ask me about it. I don't like to talk about it.’

  ‘Some other time perhaps? I want to know all about you, Tania.’

  ‘All right, some time I might. Now, let's talk about you. When I looked down at you from the flat while you were working there seemed to be an intensity about what you were doing. You were concentrating far more than the job needed. The sun's shining. You should be enjoying yourself.’

  ‘I was just trying to learn,’ he said.

  ‘No, you weren't. You're a friend, Jonathan, and friends confide in each other. You're working too hard at keeping a stiff upper lip, you're bottling up what you're feeling. It's not good for you.’

  ‘I don't fancy whining about what can't be changed to other people. It's my problem, and mine alone. I'll cope my way.’

  Gently, she said, ‘Jonathan, you're not alone, it's good to share. I can tell you're feeling a bit low. Please, tell me why.’

  It was warm there in the garden, and there was the scent of flowers and newly mown grass. She moved her hand to touch his arm. The skin was warm.

  He clutched her hand, pressed it to him. He said, the words slow and faltering, ‘Well, I suppose I'm like everyone else in this predicament. Every now and again – in my case it's often the early morning – it hits me. I might be blind for the rest of my life. And I'm …’ His voice tailed away.

  ‘It'll help if you say it,’ she said. ‘You're not Superman, you have feelings, too.’

  ‘All right.’ His voice was defiant. ‘I'm scared.’

  ‘I should think you are,’ she murmured. ‘Most people are terrified.’

  ‘So what do I do about it? I could take pills – but I refuse to.’

  ‘There's a little technique I use,’ she said, ‘when I'm feeling down. I remember happy times in the past. It's somewhere I can go back to in my mind. I've got a cousin who lives out on a farm in Derbyshire, she has a little caravan where I used to stay with my mother. The farm is just under a wood on the top of the hill and you can see all of Buxton below. It's lovely just to sit outside there and watch. You must have something like that?’

  ‘There's no place. I'll create somewhere, a sort of composite. But it'll include people.’

  In fact, Tania's memory had included her much-loved mother, but that bit of the account she had suppressed. ‘Go on,’ she said.

  ‘It's on the beach, a place I know in Italy. I'm sitting in the shade, looking at the sea, a Campari in my hand. I'm in a pair of swimming shorts and by my side there's a young lady in a bikini. And I'm blissfully happy.’

  ‘Who's the young lady?’ she asked shakily.

  ‘I don't know. I haven't found her yet. But I'll know her when I find her. Aren't all men looking for the perfect beauty?’

  ‘I told you what I think. Beauty is found in the spirit not the body.’

  The following Monday they were trying the long stick technique on the open road. If Jonathan walked out of the entrance to the flats and turned right he would eventually come to a kiosk that sold a little bit of everything. He was known at the kiosk because they used to deliver his papers.

  ‘What do I do if I hear people coming towards me?’ he asked.

  ‘Move slowly, and make sure you have your cane in front of you. That shows you're blind. The great majority of people are decent, they'll keep out of your way.’

  To get to the kiosk he had to cross one road. It wasn't a busy road – in fact, a cul-de-sac – but occasionally cars parked in it. Tania knew he must be feeling apprehensive, but he was determined to try to cross.

  ‘Find your way to the edge of the pavement. Stand there and listen. You've got good hearing, you'll know when there's a car coming. Now, I'm not going to help you. You tell me when it's safe to cross.’

  In fact, he was very good. He could tell which cars were passing straight along the main road, which were slowing down in preparation perhaps to turn into the cul-de-sac. ‘I could do it on my own,’ he said.

  ‘No. A couple more trips with me and then you'll be ready. When Derrick caught you out on your own that time he was right to tell me off. And you were wrong to try it so soon.’

  ‘I felt frightened in the car,’ he confessed, ‘so I had to do something to prove to myself that I was on top of things.’

  ‘Do something like getting run over,’ she said comfortably.

  When they got to the kiosk he bought a bar of chocolate and they shared it companionably on the way back.

  ‘It's your birthday next week,’ he said, ‘and you're going to be twenty-eight. Getting on a bit. Time you were planning, thinking about your future.’

  She knew he was joking with her. ‘It is my birthday,’ she said primly, 'but you're not supposed to comment on a lady's age.’

  ‘Perhaps not. May I just say then that you don't seem a day over twenty-one.’

  ‘You may. And how did you find out my birth date?’

  He grinned sheepishly. ‘I asked Joe to find out. He's good at anything like that. With infectious diseases you often have to be a detective. You find out how a person was infected, trace possible contacts – it's very important. Now, I want to get you a present.’

  ‘But, Jonathan, I –’

  ‘Don't object! It will give me no end of pleasure. Now, it's not long before the dance we're going to. Have you got a dress for it?’

  ‘I'll be able to find one,’ she said. ‘There'll be something in my wardrobe.’ In fact, she did have one though she'd never worn it to a formal ball.

  ‘Well, I'd like to buy a dress for you. I gather there's a place in town called Gowns. I'd like you to go with Joe and buy one.’

  This was something she hadn't expected. It was a lovely idea – she would like a new ball gown – but she thought it led her into a new kind of relationship with Jonathan. She wanted it, of course – how she wanted it – but whether she would regret it eventually, she just didn't know.

  ‘I'm not sure about you buying me anything,’ she said, ‘much less a ball gown. Just a birthday card would do. But still … how do you know about this place, Gowns? And why should Joe take me?’

  ‘A good junior registrar anticipates his boss's every need,’ he said. ‘I mentioned ball gowns to him and he volunteered to go with you and found the best shop. I did think of asking Eleanor to go with you – but then I thought that would be undiplomatic.’

  ‘You're all sensitivity,’ she said.

  ‘It would please me to buy you a dress, though.’

  ‘But I've got one!’

  ‘Let me guess. It'll be long, of course – but also high-necked and long-sleeved.’

  She l
ooked at him in astonishment. ‘How did you know?’

  ‘I guessed. But you have a gorgeous figure to go with a gorgeous face, so I want you to wear a gorgeous dress to go with them. This is purely selfish on my part. I want to be the man who has brought the best-looking girl to the ball. So may I ask Joe to go shopping with you?’

  ‘I'm sure he's really looking forward to it,’ she said.

  Chapter Six

  TANIA had to phone to cancel their next appointment. There was a mass of paperwork in the office to catch up on, and so it was a few days before she called on Jonathan again. She found him in very high spirits.

  ‘I've just had a wonderfully embarrassed phone call,’ he said. ‘It's quite put me in a good temper. The hospital Chief Executive Officer has had to call – he's a good chap, I feel a bit sorry for him. He tries to do his best in very often very difficult circumstances. Like me.’

  ‘You're a man, not a circumstance!’

  ‘I'm a circumstance as well. Anyway, apparently the hospital is responsible for my injuries. What I've suffered already could cost them thousands. And if I … suffer permanent damage then they'll be liable for much, much more. Costs could go into millions.‘

  ‘That must be nice for you,’ she muttered.

  ‘It isn't. For a start, I wouldn't take more than the minimum I need. I've got some feelings for the NHS and I don't like this victim culture: Anyway, I hope it won't be necessary. Now, what's the matter with you?’

  ‘Nothing's the matter with me! Why should it be?’ She knew her voice sounded defensive and that made her angrier than ever.

  They were sitting in the kitchen, having a coffee that he had made, before they started on the afternoon's work.

  ‘Tania! I've told you, I'm getting good at hearing what's underneath voices. Something's upsetting you and I want to know what it is.’

  She hesitated. ‘Promise not to get angry?’

  ‘You're always asking me that! And it's hard to do if I don't know what it is. What if it's something I ought to get angry at?’

  ‘Then that's your problem. I just can't deal with one of your tempers at the moment.’