I stroke her hair as haunted amber eyes seek out mine. “The service was exquisite and a nightmare wrapped into one. Everywhere I turned there were colleagues of Jed’s and Dean’s, families who knew them both, all of whom came to pay their respects. And amidst it all was Kevin, who was so shell-shocked the only two male influences in his life were swept from him in what seemed like a heartbeat.”
Beseechingly, she looks up at me. “Do you understand now why I email my dead brother? Do you understand why I can’t let him go? Why our son needs to talk to someone? Do you understand why I need time to think?”
“I do, but I also know something else.”
“What?” Her voice is shredded.
“Jed asked me to take care of his family,” I tell her firmly. Rolling from the bed, I walk over to the dresser and pull the letters out he wrote to me. Walking back over to Kara, uncaring I’m as naked as the day I was born, I hand them to her. “Go ahead, Owl. It’s time.”
With a trembling hand, she reaches for them. As I’m sliding back into bed, she scooches back against the headboard to brace herself. “READ ME NOW?” Her watery voice laughs. “It’s like some of the memos he’d leave his kitchen staff.”
“Have I mentioned I despise you worked there?” I mutter as I tug her closer.
“No, why?”
“Because I would give up the world to take care of you,” I admit honestly.
Her face softens, but she doesn’t respond to my declaration. Instead she pulls out Jed’s first letter. “God, I can hear him in my head as we argued that day. I’d give anything to have that time back,” she whispers as she folds the letter back and hands it back to me.
I brush a light kiss on her mussed-up hair. “I wouldn’t give up you or Kevin,” I tell her seriously. She blinks up at me. “Just remember that. Now, read the second one.”
Kara holds the larger envelope for a moment, before sliding the letter and the other contents out. “Oh, I remember this picture!” she exclaims.
“Kara, sweetheart, the letter,” I remind her.
“Right.” A few seconds in, she mutters adorably, “I do not have a temper.”
Which just makes me smile.
When she finishes, she flips through the photos until she’s clutching the one of them all at Jed and Dean’s wedding. “It was such a happy day, and in the back of my mind, it was so wrong,” Kara whispers.
I pluck the pictures from her hand and place them on the nightstand with the letter. “Why?”
“Because you all should have been there. And I knew it.”
“Then, tell me all about it. Tell me about the men who helped raise my son,” I encourage her.
So for the next few hours, in between convincing Kara I need to touch her body all over again, I hear all about the exploits of Jed and Dean Malone. And I laugh and hold her while she cries. And by the time she convinces me she needs to get back, I’m more assured than ever that not only did my son have an amazing life, but my friend did as well.
As did the woman I’m falling for all over again.
Kara
I use my key to open the lock when I get home late in the afternoon. My body aches as much as my heart after everything that’s happened since last night. Dropping my keys on the foyer table, I hop on one foot and then the other to slide off my ankle boots. Then I almost land on my ass when Maris drawls, “Is that how you got them off last night?”
I stumble back and thankfully the door catches me. “Jesus, you scared me.”
She leans against the newel post negligently, her luscious curves wrapped in a T-shirt that proudly supports Kevin’s swim team and flannel PJ bottoms. I smile faintly as I make my way toward her. “Nice shirt.”
“I could say the same since I’m pretty certain you debated what to wear for your non-date for an hour.” My cheeks turn the same color as the burgundy sweater as I pass by. Maris lets out a throaty laugh. “Come on, Kara. Did you really think you were going to come back and I wouldn’t figure it out?”
“There was a chance of a miracle,” I grouse, making my way straight to the coffeepot. Before I reach for a mug, I ask, “Where’s Kevin?”
She shakes her head. “He’s in the basement engrossed in some online game with Brooks.” She waits until I take my first sip to tack on, “He asked where you were when we first got in; I told him you were napping. I told him not to disturb you because I didn’t want him to figure out you weren’t home from what his father’s cock was doing to you. Again.”
I spit the burning coffee in every direction. Including, I note with satisfaction, all over Maris’s pristine shirt.
And what does she do? Laughs in my face. “So, tell me was it as good as your memories?”
I don’t hesitate a second before responding, “No, it was better and more. He wants this to be a beginning. And I don’t know what to do!” I shout, every fear of the past and present coalescing.
Immediately, Maris stops taunting me as she ushers me up the stairs. “Kara, we talked about this,” she reminds me.
“There’s research, and then there’s fieldwork!” I shriek. “And John Jennings holding me, letting me cry all over him about Dean, and cuddling is more than I can bear!” I take a glug, not caring if I’m scalding my mouth.
Maybe it will prevent me from wanting to kiss my son’s father, I think desperately.
“What’s scaring you, Kara?” Maris slides her arm around me.
I open my mouth and the word, “Everything,” pops out.
“Well, there’s only one person who can help you with that,” she reminds me.
I nod, staring down into the dark depths of my cup. “Jennings,” I concede.
“No,” she contradicts me, surprising me. “You. Jennings has made his play, a fairly spectacular one based on the amount of whisker burn on your skin.” She grins cheekily at me as she pushes me into my room.
“Oh, God,” I moan, wondering how I’m going to cover that from my impressionable child.
“But if it were me, and I wanted the chance to see where this goes, I’d be putting this guy out of his misery.”
“How?” I ask plaintively.
“Sounds like a perfect night for another date—this time with a chaperone. Dad has to understand the rules of what it’s like to date Mom, and that ‘dating’ doesn’t mean going from an all-day discussion to an overnight sleepover. Just for the record though, since I love you, I love Kevin, and there’s nothing I want more than to see you happy, when you’re ready, I’ll be happy to continue to expand his knowledge about Alaska by taking him on a few overnight trips.” Maris winks, but God, her support means everything.
“After how things ended up the first time around, how can you think this is a good idea?” I ask her, not without some worry at her response.
Maris reaches over and tugs me against her side. “It’s simple really. First, you’ve both grown up and matured, but you both still have this explosive chemistry when you’re in a room together.”
“I didn’t realize that,” I mumble against her shoulder.
“That’s because you’re predisposed to looking for facts when this is pure emotion,” she says without rancor.
I accept her comment, because I know it’s true. “What’s the second?”
“Neither of you would do anything to hurt your son.”
“Also very true.”
“But I’ve got one more. And to me, it kind of tips the scales,” she admits.
Leaning back, I look into her wild blue eyes to find them blinking rapidly. “Maris?”
“Jed loved both of you down to his soul, Kara. It took me seeing both of you together these last few weeks to put together the puzzle my brother already completed. He was so damn smart.” Her voice breaks, and I squeeze her tighter. After swallowing a few times, she manages to whisper, “Jennings, the man I see now? The man my brother knew? Kara, he’s different.” She turns to face me fully. “Maybe it wouldn’t have worked back then, but maybe this is your time.”
She leans forward until our foreheads are touching. “You don’t. Not until you try. Don’t you teach this to your students?”
“I don’t teach this,” I moan.
“No, but you teach trial and error. Do you give up on your theory?”
“Hypothesis, and no. Not until all options are exhausted.” And like that, it clicks inside me. I’ve been judging Jennings by the results of us from before, not us now. I squeeze Maris. “I think I finally get it.”
“Good. Now send your text and go shower before your son comes up. You’re making me all hot and bothered, and there’s no one I want to jump other than my battery-operated blue friend.”
I’m clutching my dresser to hold myself up from the laughter as Maris saunters out of the room chanting, “Buzz, buzz.”
But, I still manage to reach in my pocket for my phone to text Jennings.
The minute Kevin and I walk into PINZ later that night to meet Jennings, my nerves kick in. Jennings waves a hand to indicate where he’s already reserved a lane. And every step we take closer toward him shows me the wicked smile on his face isn’t about the game we’re about to play, but the one we already started.
I shouldn’t have worried. The second we’re in earshot, Kevin bombards Jennings with the three most critical items necessary for a successful bowling experience. “Can I get soda, candy, and chips?”
“I, uh…” Frantically Jennings’s cool facade drops, and he’s back on the hot seat of parenthood once again. “Whatever your mom says, Kevin. We’re going to grab some dinner after this. I wasn’t sure if you wanted—”
“Can we get Subway again? Can we, Mom? Please? I’m seriously craving their Ultimate after being up half the night with Maris.”
I shrug. “Works for me. What does your father think?”
Jennings appears gobsmacked that he’s about to endure some of America’s notorious fast food as part of a “date with his family,” which is how I phrased it in my text to him earlier. But he recovers quickly, I’ll give him that. “Whatever you want,” he starts.
Kevin goes to pump a fist in the air.
“Within reason,” Jennings concludes.
Kevin’s face falls. “Now you sound like Mom. Are you sure you two aren’t colluding against me?”
“Yes, because your father and I spend all our spare time talking about ways to torture you. Now, why don’t you get your shoes while I chat with your father a bit,” I remark drolly.
“Kevin, there’s a card on file already for the lane.”
“Got it!” We both watch as our son sprints off. I can smell the scent of Jennings’s cologne as he comes closer. “So, would it be completely inappropriate for me to kiss you right now?” he asks casually.
“Yes!” I screech, drawing the attention of the bowlers in nearby lanes.
“I thought it might be. Would a hug be out of line?”
I open my mouth to protest because I don’t know how Kevin will react, but Jennings slides an arm around my waist and tugs me toward him gently. My hands end up on his shoulders when my face hits his chest. “Iwasgoingtosaywait.” My words come out all mushed against the flannel he’s wearing.
Jennings just barks out a laugh. “Relax, Kara.”
I manage to pull my face away enough to glare up at him. “Relax? I was relaxed.”
He flicks a finger down my nose. “No, you’re worried. I just haven’t figured out if that’s because your plot to keep this on a friendly basis isn’t going to work out quite the way you were thinking or because I’m willing to respect that boundary.” His brow raises before he tacks on, “To a point.”
I sputter, “You are so damn full of yourself. Is this something they teach you as a pilot?”
He shrugs, as if Arrogance 101 is actually a course. “What they actually taught me was not to panic or something bad could happen.”
“What else did they teach you, Jennings?” Kevin’s voice pipes up behind me.
I groan out loud. “Just kill me now. Please?”
Jennings chuckles but doesn’t say anything. His eyes aren’t on me but over my shoulder. He also doesn’t let me go. Instead, he spins me around until we face our son.
Kevin’s eyes dart back and forth between us. “Are the two of you trying to tell me something?” His bowling shoes clatter to the floor.
I try to pull away from Jennings, but he holds me firm. “Damnit, Jennings, let me—”
“Kevin, you’re the man of the house. I’d like to state my intentions,” Jennings says, his voice unusually serious.
Before my eyes, I watch as Jennings’s mini-me squares his shoulders and takes his father head-on. Part of me is so proud, and the other part of me wants to pull him back into the little boy who would come running to me for a skinned knee. “And they are?” he asks suspiciously.
“I care for your mother a great deal. I’d like to start dating her. That would mean spending time with her in addition to the time I spend with you. Hopefully, in the future when you and I get to know one another better, we will have the same opportunity to spend quality one-on-one time together too.” Jennings no-nonsense talk startles Kevin at first, but then I watch my son’s face settle.
“I appreciate you approaching me with your honesty. Above all, that’s the most important thing Mom’s taught me about relationships: honesty first.”
“That’s a good rule to abide by, son.” Jennings’s arms tighten briefly before they loosen. “Do you have any concerns you want to ask us about?” Jennings holds his breath. I feel him inhale at my back.
Kevin frowns thoughtfully. “I’d like to know if Mom is happy because right now she looks terrified.”
“Apt,” I mutter to myself. To my son, I say, “I don’t know where this is going to go, Kevin. To me, the most important thing has been and always will be you. If you don’t think this is a good idea or if you have concerns, then this goes no further.”
Kevin’s face crumbles. Jennings’s arms open just as I’m about to demand he lets me go. I rush forward and grab a hold of Kevin. Wrapping my arms around him, I whisper, “You’re worth everything to me, baby. First, last, and always.”
“I know. That’s why I want you to reach for your happy. It’s what Uncle Dean and Uncle Jed would want you to do.” His words are like a fist to my solar plexus.
“When did you become so wise?” I whisper as I pull back to push a lock of hair off his forehead.
“Let’s see—somewhere between begging for a soda and getting my shoes? That’s when I saw Jennings make his play.” I’m now gaping. Kevin leans around me to hold out a hand to his father. “Slick move, by the way.”
Jennings is stunned only for a second. Then he gets another bonus point from me when he says to my son, “You are way too young to be thinking about girls like that,” he declares.
Kevin scoffs. “You two weren’t much older before you had me.”
“That’s how we know!” Jennings and I both yell at the same time. I spin around to face him and find him frozen in shock. I grin. “Welcome to parenting, Jennings. I’ve had years to ease into the dating stage.”
He glares at me before he passes by me to offer his hand to Kevin. “I promise, I’ll do my best to cherish her.” His eyes find mine, and the look in them warms me from the inside out.
Kevin shakes it and returns with, “Good. Otherwise I suspect there’s going to be a ghost sighting in Alaska. Now, while Mom’s getting her shoes, can I please get a Coke? A man can only handle so much drama without his daily allotment of caffeine.”
“Oh, for God’s sake. Go!” I banish him to the snack bar. Suddenly all boy, he races off, almost taking a header the moment his bowling shoes hit the carpet.
My shoulders shaking, I feel Jennings’s arm wrap around my shoulders. “Thank you,” I tell him sincerely.
“All I did was treat him the same way I wanted to be treated at his age—with respect.”
Lea
ning up, I brush a kiss on the underside of his jaw. “Well, you did that. Now, Dad, are you ready to have your ass whipped?”
His brows wing up. “Are you thinking you can take me, Ms. Malone?”
I shrug. I learned a long time ago that for me, bowling is simply another scientific equation to be figured out. “I’m thinking you’re about to find out.”
Just as I’m about to walk away to get my shoes and find a ball, Jennings reaches out and grabs my elbow. “Side bet between you and me.” His breath is hot against my ear.
“Deal,” I answer immediately.
“Whoever wins gets to pick our next date.” He nips my ear. “And that’s a date without the amazing chaperone we created.”
Just as I’m about to agree, Kevin comes back with a soda that will keep him up for days. I sigh and am about to admonish him when he speaks first. “Look, number one rule of this thing.” He flicks his finger back and forth between us. “Check the PDA. My tender eyes can only handle so much,” he announces haughtily, before he takes a slug of his drink. When he’s done, he slams it down to emphasize his point. And belches.
It’s then all three of us burst out laughing.
In the end I end up kicking Jennings’s ass at bowling. I gloat all the way to Subway.
And the next day when the three of us hike around Mendenhall, I put all of my studying to good use when I educate both my son and his father all about the glacier. Later, they tease me that I sounded the most knowledgeable about where the bathroom was.
I ignored them as I stomped back to the car to the male laughter following me.
God, they’re so alike.
I can’t say I don’t love it.
Kara
“He’s so different,” I muse.
Return by Air (Glacier Adventure Series Book 1) Page 21