Return by Air (Glacier Adventure Series Book 1)

by Tracey Jerald

  I moan in ecstasy as I spread my legs wider to his muted laugh against the inside of my thigh.

  “I’m so close,” I wheeze, as the tiny little flutters begin deep inside my womb.

  Jennings slowly removes his fingers before surging to his feet. “Not without me, Kara. You go over with me.”

  “With you,” I parrot.

  I hear a quick swoosh of clothing behind me, then the clinking of his belt buckle before the wide tip of Jennings cock is pressed against my opening. “Tilt your hips, my love,” he whispers.

  There’s those words again: my love. I’m helpless to the directive, but not so far gone to miss the brush of his jeans against my thighs. I grumble, “Too many clothes.”

  He sinks his cock inside me hard and deep just as his lips trace up my back. “In a minute you won’t care.”

  I refuse to admit he’s right. “God, Jennings. Just like that.” My head falls back as he slides his hand forward to play with my clit even as he grabs onto my hip to pull me into the force of his thrusts. The combination has sensations crawling all over my skin, dragging me deeper. “Again,” I plead as the deep strokes hit a place inside me no one else has ever been able to.

  It isn’t my body that climaxes but my heart that clenches as my pussy ripples along his dick. My head turns and I capture his lips as he thrusts once, twice, a third time before he gives in to his own pleasure.

  As we stand there in the aftermath, we may have come to a détente of sorts, but the war is far from over. Because I’m so terrified Jennings is buried in my soul, I’ll never be the same.

  It only took me sixteen years to realize it.

  Jennings

  I hold Kara pressed against the wall. Our hearts are pounding as if we’ve just run a marathon. Then again, perhaps we have. It’s lasted sixteen years—one incredible fight to get back to this. Us. Now.

  Catching our reflection in the mirror propped against the opposite wall, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so right. Her head’s tipped back against mine. Her lips are parted, the remnants of ecstasy illuminated by the lamp I switched on earlier before I went downstairs to meet her.

  God, don’t let me mess this up again, I pray fervently as I lean forward so my nose brushes against hers.

  She licks her lips and I feel it, the simple touch sending shock waves through me. “Jennings,” she whispers, but I press my lips against hers to stop the words.

  I need her to listen, to understand. To believe in me enough to give us a shot because I can’t imagine my life without her in it anymore. Closing my eyes, I pray with all my might before I plead, “Kara, we’ll talk. I promise. Just give me a moment to come down from flying so high.”

  “Yes,” she agrees.

  Pushing my hips forward, I admit, “Never in my life has anyone made me feel what you do.” I hold my breath, waiting for her response.

  There’s silence between us. I can feel her panting as she tries to formulate an answer. And I die a little every time a new flash of air hits my face. My head drops somewhere in the vicinity of my stomach.

  Then she speaks and it’s like someone destroys my soul. “I spent so much time just living instead of being truly happy. I was afraid when I saw you again because I was still afraid of being let down.” I’m confused by the blinding beauty of her smile. Turning in my arms, she clasps my face. “I’m a scientist, Jennings. I should have known the answer to what was missing from my life all along.”

  I’m terrified to ask because this could be the ultimate abandonment if I’m wrong. “What was it?”

  Eyes not leaving mine, our lips touch. I don’t hear her say the words as much as I absorb them with every sense. “You.”

  Within seconds, I’m whirling Kara away from the wall as I stalk us toward the unmade bed in the center of the room. “Say it,” I demand as I lower her down. Her hair fans out on the rumpled pillows where only last night I dreamed of her.

  “No.” She shakes her head back and forth, denying me the words I desperately long to hear. “You say it first. I need to know I’m not alone.”

  Bracing myself over her, I trail my fingers down the side of her cheek. “I’m afraid,” I admit.

  Sliding her hand up the back of my neck, Kara grips the hair at the nape of my neck so hard I feel the pinch down my spine. “That’s two of us. But choosing this, you, means I’m here despite my fears of what might happen tomorrow, next month, or next year. It just means I…”

  “I love you,” I blurt out, the words too large to contain inside anymore. “I’ve never said the words to another woman before. In fact, the only other person I’ve said them to is—”

  “Kevin.” Her voice holds a note of reverence. Her eyes glow even as the wet drips from the corners down the side of her temples. “I love you, John Jennings.”

  I lower my head and capture her lips with a reverence in my heart and a fire in my soul. Her arms pull me down until I’m flush against her. I shift to the side so I don’t rest my weight entirely on her frame before I gather her tightly in my arms.

  We spend long moments sipping from each other’s lips, getting drunk on love. There’s never been anything more intoxicating that’s ever passed my lips. My head’s spinning and my heart’s pounding when Kara finally pulls her head back. We’re both breathing heavily.

  I can’t resist plucking another kiss from her lips, causing them to curve. “We need to talk, Jennings.”

  “I know.”

  “The money,” she protests.

  I stroke a hand down her hair. “Kara, based on simple math, if I paid you a ridiculously low amount of child support, that’s the amount you would have been owed.’

  Frustration crosses her face. “Don’t you understand I never wanted that from you?”

  “Don’t you understand I’m the kind of man who has to give it?” I ask her back simply. Then I pull out the big guns. “If Kevin were Dean’s child, Jed’s child, they would do the same damn thing and you know it. That’s part of taking care of your family—making sure they’re financially stable.” Rolling into her, I run my thumb over her cheekbone. “I won’t watch you struggle with this kind of burden, Kara. That’s part of love.”

  I literally hear her teeth click together. “So is respecting my decisions,” she counters quietly.

  “You weren’t making them,” I remind her.

  She opens and closes her mouth before the frustrated squawk that only she makes comes out of her mouth. I lean down and press a firm kiss on her lips. “Kara, I love you. I love our son. If you want to invest the money in his future, do that. If you want to use it for living expenses now, do that. There’s no stipulation on it.”

  “Jennings, are you trying to make all our dreams come true?”

  “If you’d let me,” I tell her honestly.

  Her eyes dilate wildly before she curls into my chest. “Then I guess it’s a good thing you already made the most important ones come true simply by being you.”

  I lean forward and brush my lips against hers before a thought occurs to me. “Where’s Kevin?”

  Kara’s lips tip up. “At home with Maris. I got a text on the way here. They’re packing. He wants to go see the Lumberjack Show again in Ketchikan again. Apparently, he wants to study it with more depth this time, so they’ll be gone for a few days. Since he’s been cooped up with this storm, I agreed.”

  “That will give us plenty of time to talk,” I murmur, running a hand down the smoothness of her back.

  “Yes, it will.” Her voice is unusually serious.

  I feel a forbidding in the region of my chest. “I was kidding.”

  “I’m not, Jennings. There’s still a lot to talk about.”

  My heart lurches in fear. “What do you mean? I love you; you love me.”

  Kara’s body goes stiff before she forces herself to relax. “I don’t want to bring this up now, but at the end of the summer, we have to go—”

  “No.” I refuse to discuss my family leaving me. “Not now,
Kara. For God’s sake, give us tonight.”

  A twisted pain crosses her face before she whispers, “All right. But we have to talk; we have no choice.”

  I nod curtly and wrap her back in the safety of my arms where tonight I can dream there will be no tomorrow to find its way through the crack in the blinds.

  Because I suspect this time I’ll be the one who will be unable to soar, weighted down by the knowledge both pieces of my heart are three thousand miles away.

  Jennings

  We’re lying on our sides next to each other under the tall tree in the backyard we spent so many summer days lazing under. I’m running my hand rhythmically through Kara’s hair, feeling the silken strands pass through my fingers. “I could do this forever,” I tell her truthfully.

  She giggles a little before reminding me, “That might cause a problem once winter sets in. We don’t have the right gear on for you to do that, Jennings.”

  I smile. Ever logical and oh so practical. And God, my heart races every time she’s near. “You’re worth freezing to death over,” I murmur on another pass of my hand.

  Kara laughs and the sound washes over me. “Or we could buy a sleeping bag?” she says sweetly. Her practicality is such a turn-on. I can’t not kiss her for that, so I don’t even try to hold back. Sliding my fingers around the back of her head, I lift her up and press a lingering kiss on her upturned lips. When we pull back, her lashes flutter open, revealing eyes that have always held me captivated.

  Trailing my fingers across her exposed collarbone, I whisper, “Tell me more about them.” When her face adopts a quizzical expression, I clarify, “About Jed and Dean. You told me the bad, about what hurt. Now I want to know about the good. I want to know about your life with them.” Rolling onto my back, I stare up at the clear blue sky above us peeking through the branches of the trees. Land, air, the perfect blend of me and Kara. No, that’s Kevin, I correct myself as she says softly, “I don’t quite know where to start.”

  I squeeze her close, and it pulls her head on top of my chest. “You mentioned Dean was more outgoing?” I say, trying to get her to start talking. Because something’s bothering me about the dynamics in the Smith household. I just can’t pinpoint it.

  Like why Kara’s still talking to her brother instead of about her brother even though she’s spending all her time making sure everyone else is honoring their memories.

  “God, yes.” She laughs, which eases some of the concern I had bringing this up. One of her arms snakes around my chest while the other props up her chin. She grins. “Dean is charming and funny. He can go joke for joke against any comedian and come out beating them. The last is fact as he used to do it when we were old enough to get into clubs, much to our parents’ despair.” A spasm of pain crosses her face when she mentions her parents, but she forges on. “He’s the kind of guy who gives you the shirt off his back and never cares if you ever repay him. He wants to help people.” She strums her fingers against my chest, setting off unconscious memories of the heat we’ve indulged in, but I control it because she needs to let all of this out. “I can’t remember a time when Dean didn’t want to be in a position to help people. So becoming a firefighter and EMT was a perfect fit. He found a way to do so in so many good situations.” She pauses, before a small giggle escapes. “Did he tell you about the first time he asked Jed out?”

  “No. What happened?”

  “It was a perfect date. And that night, my brother came home to tell me about it.”

  “You were living together?”

  She nods. “Yes, we shared an apartment right up until he and Jed got engaged. The county we live in is a fairly affluent one, and even apartments are costly. We liked the idea of living in the county we work in. Also, this way I didn’t have to put Kevin in daycare because he only worked three twenty-four-hour shifts a week. Besides, we’re family.” She shrugs. “Unconventional, but family.”

  My arms tighten around her. “Kevin was lucky to have been raised by a man like that,” I murmur.

  She hums but doesn’t say anything for a few. We just listen to the whispering of the leaves overhead. When Kara opens her mouth again, her words shoot an arrow directly in my heart. “Knowing the man you are now, I think you would have done just as amazing a job, Jennings.” Then she buries her face in my lap.

  When I tip her head back, she’s biting her thumbnail. “What are you saying?”

  I roll to my back and pull her so her legs are astride mine. Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her hair back so I can see her face.

  Kara’s body is frozen on top of mine. I begin to panic as her chest moves with such force, her ribs are pressing my back against the hard grass. And then I feel something else. Wetness.

  Crap.

  “Kara?” I’m worried about her, but her finger slides up my mouth to silence me.

  Her expression clears and I see wonder, gratitude, and something more. And my arms pull her tighter, if that’s even possible. “With just a few words, you reminded me of a memory that’s been inside of me and made it lighter.” Leaning forward, she brushes her lips against my jaw. “Thank you.”

  Rolling her to her back, I remind her, “Jed kept trying to get me to come to Florida.”

  Instead of being upset, she laughs, her hair flying in all directions as she rolls it back and forth. “You should see him. He does that kind of stuff all the time. My God, the way he plays matchmaker with his…” Her lips tremble before a keening sound escapes.

  And there it is. Now, I understand fully. Kara’s been responsible for taking care of everyone else around her she hasn’t been able to truly let go of her own emotions. Despite admitting she was writing letters to her dead brother, after admitting she sent Kevin to a therapist, even when she cried in my arms the morning after we first made love after telling me how the two men died, she still didn’t let go.

  I wrap her tight as she bucks beneath me as she sobs. I don’t know for how long or what causes the torrent of tears, but the sound tears at my soul. Each one seems to represent an hour, a minute of pain. But since when? Since her brother’s death? Since she left Alaska? It doesn’t matter, really. Just knowing how much she trusts me to help carry her burden causes my own eyes to burn.

  “Why haven’t you let go before now?” I ask after her sobs have been reduced to sniffles.

  “How could I?” Her voice is hoarse. “I had to take care of Kevin. Maris is overworking—”

  “Maris is an adult,” I interrupt.

  “Maris is lost in more ways than you can imagine,” she corrects me. I frown when I hear that. “And my job is to…”

  “Protect your family.” I interject.

  “At whatever the cost,” she agrees.

  “Nothing is going to harm you, least of all me. That’s a promise.” My lips brush hers, pride and something much stronger swirling deep inside of me. But even as our lips sip and take from each other, I can’t completely lose myself in this kiss. Because I’m worried. Promises mean nothing when they’re only words. A woman like Kara needs tangible proof in order to believe, and that’s not just because of the past; that’s just who she is.

  Sitting us up, I bury my neck in her throat, rocking us back and forth. “It’s a good thing we have more of the summer for me to show you I mean to support those words with actions.”

  “Hmm.” The sound buzzes against my neck, sending tingles down my spine. “What kind of actions did you have in mind?”

  “You’re shameless,” I declare, pulling back to see a teasing light having chased away the shadows in her eyes.

  “Me?” She touches her chest in mock surprise.

  “Yes, you.”

  “This is a first.” She’s thoughtful. “I kind of like it.”

  I pluck another kiss from her lips before I tell her, “I do too.”

  She smiles shyly before wrapping her arms around me tightly but not before I see the sparkle back in her eyes. I feel like racing around the backyard cheering. I did that, I thin
k with pride. I removed a layer of the burden she’s been carrying.

  I just wish I could remove them all. I’m finding I want to be there for her as much as I want to be there for my son. I get it now, buddy, I silently tell Jed, even as I lean back against the tree trunk with Kara in my arms while we talk about Maris bringing Kevin back to Ketchikan. Then I burst out laughing.

  “What is it?” Kara asks.

  “Do you really think they’re still doing the trick where the guy runs on the log in the water and falls on it looking like he crushed his nuts every single show?” I muse rhapsodically.

  Kara snickers. “Only if there’s a god, Jennings. Because that was the funniest part of the show when you used to…”

  Suddenly the back door flies open. Kevin comes running out. Kara tenses and moves to slide off my lap, but I don’t let her. “Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad!”

  I call back, “Hey, son!” as Kevin races across the grass. “So your mom and I were wondering about the Lumberjack Show. Now that you’ve seen it twice, what was your favorite part?”

  “Totally when the dude lands with his leg spread around the log when he runs on the wet log! Wham! He totally crushed his…”

  Kara screeches with delight even as I cut our son off by calling back, “I know what happens.” All too well, unfortunately, I think ruefully.

  “Right.” Kevin drops down next to us. He grins at his mother. “It was way better the second time around.”

  “Tell us all about it,” she encourages. She twists on my lap but doesn’t try to vacate it. Another win, I cheer silently. Even if I have to listen to a recap of my son cheering over Team USA beating Team Canada. I pretend Kara’s “Aww, poor Jennings. Your team loyalty is noted” does little to assuage my dignity even as I chuckle.

  Right now, life couldn’t be more perfect. My heart feels filled with joy because the two people who have become everything chatter around me on a perfect day under a tree. I give a quick thanks to Jed for giving me the chance for this perfect moment.