Journey to the Unknown

by Jacqueline Francis

  “You’re such a grouch, Kevin! Like the Grinch who stole Christmas, like fucking Scrooge. So rude. You can be so nice one minute and then…You know what? I don’t think I like you anymore.”

  “Ouch.” He sucked in a sharp breath and placed his hand on his chest for dramatic effect. “My heart broke a little when you said that.”

  “You’re an asshole!”

  On the surface, it sounded like their usual hateful/playful banter, but her voice hinted at a genuine undertone of anger. It was the we’re not friends comment that sparked it off. Over the last few days, they’d bonded—jokes and dances, even a little kiss. But a bond wasn’t friendship and it seemed like she was more upset with herself for foolishly thinking it was. He didn’t bother rectifying it because he wanted her to stew in that anger. He didn’t like seeing her hurting because of her father and he sure as fuck didn’t want her swooning over Dean. Her anger was directed at him. It was a feeling he invoked, and he was going to own it.

  “You know what you are?” she huffed. “You’re an A-class jerk with no redeeming qualities. You are the stealer of my thunder. You are the Steve Harvey to my Miss Philippines. No, actually, you are the Kanye to my Taylor Swift, and that being said, I want you to know that I don’t think Kanye is a real rapper. Take a second and let that sink in.”

  “That one cut me deep, Jazz.” He tried his hardest to fight a smile when he saw her lips stiffen into a tight line. He liked her angry side. It was adorable. She didn’t even know how to be mean.

  “I don’t even know why I talk to you,” she snapped.

  “Then don’t talk to me.” At this point he was just saying shit to piss her off more. “I would prefer that. In all honesty, I would rather listen to…to Michael Bolton for the next three hours than listen to you.”

  That was maybe taking it a step too far. A hint of a smile flickered on her face and he thought about taking it back, but he was in too deep now.

  “It’s funny you should say that, Kevin.” Her tone was eerie, very similar to those thrillers when the little, innocent one admits that she was the homicidal maniac all along. “Because I just happen to have…” She glanced at him, her voice growing more sinister. “…Michael Bolton’s Greatest Hits. And I love Michael Bolton. You wanna retract that statement?”

  “Do your worst,” he taunted with defiance.

  Switching on the radio, she flipped through a few songs until she found what she was looking for. The tune of Said I Loved But I Lied floated through the speakers and he actually cringed. She smiled and it was perfect, because it was real this time. That smile was for him and he owned it too. Somehow he’d managed to return the favor, the Oreo she’d given him at the laundromat. He cheered her up despite the melancholy hanging in the air around them. Different method, same result. And listening to Michael Bolton – with her singing along – for the remainder of the trip was a small price to pay for it.

  November, 15

  Grand Canyon, Arizona

  Kevin shut off the water, stepped out of the shower, and wrapped a thick, fluffy towel around his waist. He loved it when they stayed at these South Star hotels. It was like living in the lap of luxury.

  He was running a few minutes late this morning, but there was still enough time to shave before Jasmin got back from her workout. Bathroom times had to be adhered to, or it inevitably led to arguments and he was trying to limit their arguments to three a day.

  Despite their incessant disagreements, it hadn’t been as bad as he’d anticipated. Every day they developed a higher tolerance for each other and he found that the more time he spent with her, the less annoying she became. Either he was developing an immunity to her craziness or…or…

  He stopped that thought right there. Those kind of thoughts were exactly the ones that led to complications.

  Lathering up a handful of shaving cream, he smeared it across his jaw.

  “Kevin,” Jasmin yelled from the other side of the door, “are you done yet?”

  He gritted his teeth. She was back earlier than expected, so technically it was still his time in the bathroom. “No, Jasmin.”

  “Well, how long are you gonna be? I need to tinkle.”

  “Five minutes.”

  The razor had only made its way down his jaw once before he heard her thumping on the door.

  “I really need to go.”

  “I said five minutes!”

  A guy couldn’t even shave in peace. Two more strokes and then more thumping.

  “Kevin, please. I can’t hold it in anymore.”

  He tried to ignore her, but she wouldn’t stop banging on the door.

  “You better make sure your average-sized penis is covered up, because I’m coming in.”

  “What?!”

  There was no time to react. The door swung open and she rushed to the toilet.

  “Fuck, Jazz!” He found himself grasping the towel to make sure it was still secure. She was already pants-down on the toilet seat and he focused his eyes elsewhere. “You couldn’t wait five fucking minutes?”

  “I told you I needed to go.”

  He carried on shaving to distract himself from the fact that she was actually peeing behind him. “I think we’ve reached a stage of comfortableness that I’m not comfortable with.”

  She remained uncharacteristically quiet and he shifted his eyes to glance at her. She was staring at the mirror, not at her own reflection, at his. He waited. He shaved. He waited and her eyes were still on him, brazenly roaming over his bare chest.

  “See something you like, Jazz?”

  A bright red tinge colored her honey-kissed skin. She finally looked away and he averted his eyes to give her some privacy. The toilet flushed behind him and she came to the basin to wash her hands.

  “So we can’t go up today,” she said. “The tour guide said a thunderstorm is coming and it might be dangerous.”

  He tried not to groan his aggravation. These delays were coming in thick and fast. “So what do you wanna do for the rest of the day?”

  “I don’t know. We could…we could watch movies on my laptop.”

  She sounded hesitant, like she was already bracing herself for rejection. Yesterday when she’d told him that her nannies never ate a meal or watched a movie with her, he’d realized that it was the simple things that mattered most to her. She didn’t mind when he opted out of touring Vegas with her, and he guessed that she would have happily gone on her own even if she hadn’t met the Andys. But things as basic as eating or watching a movie were things she didn’t want to do alone anymore.

  “Sure, Jazz.” He rinsed off the razor and moved it back to his face. “But I get to choose the movie.”

  “Oh, yeah, that’s fine.” A bright smile beamed on her face. “That’s totally fine. We can just sit on the bed and binge watch the whole day.”

  That should have been the end of the conversation and he expected her to leave right after, but she carried on talking.

  “I’ve noticed that you take really long in the shower,” she said. “It’s irresponsible to waste so much water. You know, in some countries running water is a luxury and you just abuse it. We need to preserve clean water, because eventually it’s going to become a scarcity.”

  He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Lectures about all this environmental crap were never in short supply with her. Pollution and recycling and saving water. It was just a shower, for God sakes. “Maybe we should shower together,” he suggested. “That would definitely save water.”

  The blush didn’t confine itself to her cheeks this time. It went all the way down her neck. He was hoping the comment would make her feel uneasy enough to get the hell out, but it didn’t. Instead, she made herself comfortable leaning against the edge of the large basin. For some unknown reason, she never got the hint that he wanted to be left alone.

  Letting out an irritable sigh, he carried on shaving. Her eyes were still on him, moving between his face and his chest. He’d gotten used to her disrespecting h
is personal space. He’d gotten used to the inappropriate comments about him being hot, because when she said it, she wasn’t flirting. She stated it like a fact, in the same manner one would say the sky is blue. He’d never once seen it as anything more than innocent flattery. But the way she was looking at him now wasn’t what he was used to.

  Her eyes trailed over his body and they weren’t filled with lust, just…awareness, awareness of his semi-nakedness, awareness of how close they were to each other. He was becoming increasingly aware of this too.

  He rinsed his face and as he patted it dry with a towel, her hand moved towards him.

  “I like it when you shave,” she said, stroking her fingers over his jaw. “It’s so smooth…and clean.” Her hand slowly moved down his neck and onto his chain. “What’s this?”

  He didn’t answer and her finger glided down the small silver balls, lightly caressing his chest as it moved lower. Before she got to the dog-tags, he gripped her hand, his fingers closing tightly over hers. Their eyes locked and stayed locked.

  “Don’t touch it,” he whispered.

  “Relax. I just want to see it.”

  He tensed, debating whether he was going to let her do it. This was his most personal, most valued possession, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted her in that space. It took some time, but he eventually let go of her hand and she took hold of the tags with enough care to show that she understood how much it meant to him.

  “Saint Christopher,” she read aloud, moving her finger over the engraving. She turned it over to read the back. “Holy Patron of travelers, protect me and lead me safely to my destiny.” A small smile played on her lips. “It’s strange. He’s the guider of the travelers and yet they say lead me safely to my destiny, not my destination.” Her eyes moved up to meet his again. “What’s your destiny, Kevin?”

  He didn’t respond immediately, because he didn’t know how to answer. People always made destiny seem like something amazing, some great purpose to be fulfilled. When Perry first gave him the chain, he truly believed he was going to do just that. But now he was in the fast lane heading nowhere. Nothing great awaited him.

  “I don’t know,” he answered softly. “What’s yours?”

  “I don’t believe in destiny, but I do believe that I am going to leave my mark on this world. I got a new job starting next year. I’m gonna meet new people and learn new things. This is a new beginning for me and I’m not going to leave it in the hands of some higher power. I can do it on my own.”

  Her outlook on life was so positive, it was enlightening. Even with all her issues, she was completely untainted, so ready to face the world head-on. Maybe it was naivety because she hadn’t faced the hardships others had faced, or maybe it was her ability to accept the hand life had dealt her and rise up regardless. Either way, it was a quality of hers he admired.

  “Maybe it’s your destiny to become a stripper,” she teased, pulling him out of his thoughts.

  “Not everyone has been given the gift of dance like you.”

  “I don’t think that should stop you. Dance is only, like, thirty percent of it and you have the other seventy. This is a rocking hot body.”

  Shaking his head, he gave her a wry smile.

  Truth be told, he had expected that comment. Playful remarks like that were things he had to listen to every day. But what was completely unexpected was the expression on her face. It didn’t match the playfulness in her voice. Her hand brushed over his chest, her eyes focusing on the tiny patterns she drew on his skin. Moving lower, her fingers skimmed lightly over his abs, inching ever closer to his towel, and the whole situation was becoming less and less playful. The movements were bold yet hampered with nervousness, and he found both equally enticing.

  The problem with Jasmin was that she didn’t know where to draw the line. Every day she pushed his boundaries a little more. He tried to brush it off, always telling himself that she had no social etiquette, that she simply didn’t realize how unacceptable her behavior was. She didn’t realize a guy just wanted some alone time to have his morning shave. She didn’t realize that she was all up in the same guy’s personal space and he was craving another taste of those plump lips. She didn’t realize that when her soft, small hand was lingering dangerously close to his cock, she was going to get a reaction.

  “Having fun?” he asked.

  A blush rose to her cheeks and she immediately withdrew her hand. She seemed embarrassed, but not at all remorseful. And then…and then she actually had the nerve to try walking away like nothing happened, like she hadn’t just disrespected his body. He should have let her leave, but instead he yanked her in front of him and pushed her up against the basin, pinning her firmly in place with his hips. If she felt the hardness that had grown beneath his towel, she gave no indication. Then again, she probably didn’t know the effect she had on him.

  He caught the edge of her T-shirt, slowly sliding it up until he felt the bare skin of her stomach. His fingers crept beneath the material, pressing into soft flesh. She was dainty and petite, and were it not for the hard muscles he felt under his tips, he may have thought she was fragile. But she wasn’t. She was firm and toned, encapsulating strength in her small frame. Those workouts had done her good and he wanted to see what she was hiding beneath her oversized clothes.

  He was unaware that he was moving closer until he felt her chest press against his. Her anxious breaths warmed his skin and her lips parted in invitation. Like the pull of a magnet, his head dipped towards her, his mouth so ready to take possession of hers. He wanted to slide his tongue between her teeth, kiss those lips the way they were meant to be kissed. But he stopped himself at the last second.

  Instead, he gripped her tighter. His hands moved higher and she stiffened. He held her gaze, waiting for her to tell him to stop, and when she didn’t, he pushed her boundaries a bit more. The curve of her breasts met his thumbs and he stopped there, very careful to not take it further than it needed to go. He lightly caressed the undersides of her sports bra and her breath caught. Actually, it seemed like she stopped breathing altogether. Her eyes were wide, staring at him expectantly, and he had to hold back a smile of satisfaction.

  “You like that, Jazz?” he asked. “Some guy you barely know putting his hands on you without permission?”

  She caught her lower lip between her teeth. It was a sign of nervousness, but all it did was draw his attention back to her mouth.

  “Actually,” she whispered, “I do…I do like it.”

  That wasn’t the response he’d been expecting. He’d been expecting discomfort, embarrassment, hell, even an apology once she realized how inappropriate it was. He certainly hadn’t expected her to like it and he definitely was not prepared to see her looking at him like she wanted something more.

  Immediately, he dropped his hands and stepped back. Distance was needed between them, because that statement made him want to ruin her, destroy every ounce of innocence he saw in her Jasmin eyes.

  “You shouldn’t be so honest,” he said. “One day it’s gonna get you in trouble.”

  She said nothing, still looking very flustered as she left the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, looking at himself in the mirror. “You can’t mess around with a girl like that.”

  And he knew he shouldn’t have to convince himself of that. She had too many issues. Mommy issues. Daddy issues. Abandonment issues. A woman’s heart wasn’t something to be toyed with and he wasn’t about to fuck around with that heart. As tempted as he was to push the physical boundaries even further, he knew that lines would inevitably get blurred. A fling would be misconstrued as something else. He needed to steer clear of that mess, because he was a mess himself.

  She probably didn’t realize it, but she wanted something more from him, something he wasn’t prepared to give her. She wanted his friendship and if he wasn’t going to give her that, he wasn’t going to give her anything. Jasmintha Daas, and all her issue
s, needed to be someone else’s problem.

  His problem, however, was figuring out how he was going to get through the rest of the day. Alone with her. On a bed.

  Knowing what she felt like, what she tasted like, how was he going to sit there the whole day and just watch a movie? This was definitely a problem because she left ten minutes ago and he still had a fucking hard-on.

  November, 16

  Grand Canyon, Arizona

  Another storm. Another delay. Another day of watching of movies.

  He was bored of being in the same room, so bored that he even agreed to watch a Bollywood movie. It was an investment of time, because that shit was three hours long. He couldn’t be cooped up with her for much longer, especially because they were lying on the tiniest bed in the world and every time she moved, she brushed up against him. The laptop was between their legs, but it was a single bed meaning only one pillow for both of them, so most of the time her head was resting on his shoulder. Every now and then, she sighed and snuggled closer, like she felt comfortable, safe. It was weird that he wanted her to feel like that around him.

  He’d slept with quite a few women and he’d never experienced this kind of intimacy. Whether it was with his ex-girlfriends, flings, or even Claire, he generally didn’t indulge in any activities that wouldn’t eventually lead to sex.

  This was different. Unlike her usual inappropriate touching, this didn’t make him feel awkward. It was nice in its simplicity. There were no arguments. No past issues rearing their ugly heads. Just two people enjoying each other’s company as they watched a movie. He didn’t like it, because he liked it too much.

  * * * * *

  “That is probably the best one I’ve seen so far,” Jasmin said, switching off her laptop. “And Deadpool is the funniest superhero ever.” She stood up and packed it away, then returned to the bed and sat down on the foot side.