“Here,” Loretta said, handing her and Kevin a glittered white snowflake. Each one had their name written on it with a black marker. “Now every year when we put it up, we’ll think of the two of you.”
Again, Jasmin felt her throat constrict and tried to smile through it. She turned and hung hers up on the third branch from the top. As she did so, Kevin came up behind her and hung his on the branch right next to hers so that the edges of the snowflakes were overlapping.
“You know, two snowflakes are never the same,” he whispered against her ear. “But even though they may be different, it’s possible for them to fall on the same spot. Maybe it’s just the Law of Gravity.”
She half turned to look at him over her shoulder and he stole a quick kiss.
“Or maybe…it’s something more, Jasmin.”
Her heart felt like it was ready to burst. She just couldn’t get a hold of herself tonight.
“Who wants hot chocolate?” Loretta sang.
The kids erupted with Yes’s and I do’s.
“I’ll help,” Jasmin offered. She actually just wanted to get out of there to have a few minutes to pull herself together. She followed Loretta into the kitchen.
“Mugs are in that cupboard on the top shelf.”
As Jasmin walked to the other side of the kitchen, she noticed a cardboard sign that read:
WANTED: Two lonely kids looking for a family to rent so we can decorate a Xmas tree. A home-cooked meal is not required, but it would be nice.
Her breath caught for a second. “Did…did Kevin do this?” she asked softly.
Loretta turned to her and smiled. “Yeah. He’s so cute. Wade and I found him sitting with that sign outside the supermarket. He told us he’d been waiting there for hours. I read that sign and my heart just melted.”
“He has a way of doing that.” She lost herself in that sign for a few moments before turning to the other woman. “Thank you so much for this, Loretta.”
She didn’t know if it was the shakiness in her voice or the expression on her face that made Loretta cross the kitchen and pull her into a tight hug.
“There’s no need to thank me. Kevin didn’t give us any details, but I took one look at the two of you tonight and I can see that this has been a hard road for you both. We just wanted to do something to make it a little easier, even if it’s something small.”
“It isn’t small,” Jasmin said, squeezing her tighter.
So much for pulling herself together; she was an even bigger mess now. They made the hot chocolate and drank it around the fire as Wade told them stories about Santa and his elves and how they all needed to be good children if they wanted to get the swing set they’d asked him for. Jasmin wasn’t really paying much attention to what he said. She was just trying to absorb all the magic of this one night.
Eventually, she couldn’t take anymore and began bidding her farewell to all of them.
“Thanks again for having us,” she said as she walked with Kevin to the door.
“Not a problem at all,” Wade said. “And if you’re ever in Alabama again, be sure to stop by.”
After a few hugs, she walked out, marching straight down the pathway to her car. Kevin waited for them to close the front door before he chased after her.
“Hey…Jazz.” He caught her elbow and turned her to face him. “Are you all right?”
“No, I’m not all right. The next time you decide to not be a jerk, how about you give me a heads up first?”
He coughed out a short laugh. “Are you seriously mad at me right now?”
“Yes!” she shouted, throwing her hands up. “Why? Why would you do that to me?”
The question was irrelevant because she already knew why he did it. No matter what happened with her mother tomorrow, this was something she would have never experienced. And because this was their last night together, it was his last opportunity to show her what a real, happy family was like. She hated him for it and yet she didn’t hate him at all.
“Instead of me telling you all the time, I wanted to show you what it was like,” he replied.
“You’re a fucking jerk!” She marched a few more steps to her car, then stopped and marched right back. “I would have been better off not knowing. They have that every day. You have that every day…and you take it for granted!” She shoved her finger hard into his shoulder, struggling with every breath to keep her composure. “Your mom calls you all the time and you look for any excuse to end the conversation. You have both parents and siblings and nieces and nephews, this whole big fucking family and all of them love you…I would…I would give anything to have what you have.”
“I know. And I wish I could give you that, Jazz…but I can’t. All I could give you was this night of illusion…and I know it’s not enough, but—”
“It’s enough,” she sighed, meeting his eyes so he’d know she meant it. “It’s more than enough.”
He smiled as he grabbed the front of her jacket and pulled her towards him. “I know you’re one of them big dick motherfuckers and what I’m about to do is really not what you want right now, so I’m gonna make this as quick and painless as possible. Just swoop down low and attack fast. You won’t even see it coming.”
Confusion wrinkled her face. “What are you talking about?”
The question wasn’t even fully out before both his arms wrapped around her shoulders, gripping her tightly against his chest. “There you go.”
“Are you…are you hugging me? After all that you have the nerve to hug me?”
“Yep,” he said, pulling her closer. “That’s a hug right there. And because you took advantage of this limited offer…” His voice became more dramatic, sounding very much like an exuberant telemarketer. “I’m going to throw in some cuddles absolutely free.” He plastered kisses on her cheek and nuzzled his face into her neck. “Oh, the cuddles. Don’t you love the cuddles?”
She did. She buried her face in his chest and hugged him tight. This night was perfect, so painfully perfect, but it would end soon and she would have to let it go, keep it only in her memory. Tomorrow this road trip, her time with him, was due to come to an end too and as she held him she realized that she was in no way ready to say goodbye.
December, 2
Atlanta, Georgia
Today was the day and Jasmin was anxious, on the verge of throwing up. They’d arrived in Georgia early this morning and virtually had to go on a wild goose chase. Her mother’s place of employment per her inactive Facebook account was Duncan’s Furniture Stores, but there were eight outlets across the city. They’d driven from one store to another, asking every manager if they knew a Jayshree Maraj, but no one had heard of her. It was only when they reached the sixth outlet that they found someone who knew her.
Her previous boss, Sally, told them that she resigned last year after she got married. She didn’t have any further details, but Jasmin asked to see her employment records so she could get an address or anything that could aid her search. At first Sally was reluctant because that information was confidential, but after some begging and pleading and puppy dog eyes, she relented and allowed them access to her mother’s file.
Having her address led to a twenty minute drive into the suburbs to an apartment building with a rather obnoxious landlord named Gavin. Gavin explained that her mother had moved after she got married to some hot shot business mogul (those were his exact words). From store clerk to marketing executive of a large textile company called Tradeworks. Apparently she was living the life now. Guess it’s easy to get a high-paying job when you’re sleeping with the boss (those were Gavin’s words too). Tradeworks also had multiple branches and distribution centers, but Jasmin decided to try her luck at the head office first. The marketing executive would be at head office, not at any of the stores. It was almost four in the afternoon now, but she was hoping to get there before close of business.
“So we gotta go back the other way,” Jasmin said, strapping on her seatbelt. “And it took us forev
er to get here because of traffic.”
Kevin reached over and took her hand. “Just relax. At least you’ve got something solid now.” He let out a deep breath as if nervous to say what he was thinking. “So…uh…it’s getting late. Do you wanna drop me off at the bus station before you go there?”
Her hands were on the keys, but she didn’t start the car just yet. “I was…thinking about that. You don’t have to leave…today. I mean, it’s not like it was a concrete decision where we agreed that we’d end this trip in Georgia.”
He smiled. “That’s exactly what we agreed on…from the very beginning.”
She turned to look at him then, releasing an anxious sigh. “I want you to be there when I meet my mom.”
“Jasmin, that’s something very personal and—”
“I don’t want to do it alone,” she cut in. “I’m scared to do it alone.”
He didn’t need any more convincing than that and gave her hand another gentle squeeze. “Okay.”
She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, then punched in the location of Tradeworks head office into the GPS and started the car. It took them half an hour to drive across town and her hands were sweaty and shaking as the parked in front of the tall building. She opened the car door and Kevin grabbed her wrist before she got out.
“Jasmin, you need to be prepared for anything.”
“I am. I’ve been preparing for this my whole life.”
He still looked uncertain as they jumped out of the car and headed up the stairs into the building. At the reception desk, they were greeted by a man dressed in a neat black suit, flashing them his friendliest smile. “Good afternoon and welcome to Tradeworks. I’m Leonard. How may I assist?” He spoke in a tone that was professional and rehearsed.
“Hi,” Jasmin greeted. “We’re here to see Jayshree Maraj.”
“Do you mean Jayshree Kapoor?”
She nodded, realizing that her mother had married last year. “Yes, Jayshree Kapoor.”
His eyes were firmly pinned on her, scrutinizing her every feature. “Are you family?”
A wide grin split her face. “Yes.”
“Is she expecting you?”
“No. We were in town and we thought…we’d drop in and surprise her.”
He seemed a little skeptical, but jotted down her details in a book and handed them a visitor’s access card. “Elevators are down there,” he said, pointing to a narrow corridor. “Go up to the twentieth floor and ask for Gene. She’s her personal assistant and should be able to help you.”
“Thank you very much.” She grabbed Kevin’s hand, brimming with excitement now. The wild goose chase had paid off. They’d found her and now she was seconds away from meeting her. “Did you hear what he said?” she asked Kevin as she pushed the button for the elevator. “He asked if I was family. I told you I look like her.”
They had traveled miles, been on the road for weeks, and the elevator ride to the twentieth floor was the longest wait she’d ever had to endure.
When the doors opened, there was another desk with a bronzed plated name tag that read Gene Mullins, and Jasmin walked directly to it.
“Hi. We’re here to see Jayshree Kapoor.”
Gene wasn’t as friendly as Leonard and didn’t even smile. “Is she expecting you?”
“No, we thought we’d—”
“Mrs. Kapoor doesn’t like unannounced guests. I don’t know why Leonard sent you up here. You can schedule an appointment. She’s available on Tuesday at noon and—”
“I’m not making an appointment. We won’t be long. I just want to speak to her for a few minutes.”
“Mrs. Kapoor is a very busy woman. She doesn’t have a few minutes and she certainly won’t make the time for someone who doesn’t have a previous appointment.”
Jasmin was getting irritable. She hadn’t come all this way just to be turned away by a bitchy PA. “Then we’ll wait until she’s done for the day.”
Gene rolled her eyes and pressed a button on her speaker phone. “Mrs. Kapoor, you have a visitor…” She looked up at Jasmin for a name.
“Oh…Jasmintha Daas.”
“Jasmintha Daas is here to see you.”
There was a long pause and hearing her mother’s voice made her heart do a little flip. “She doesn’t have an appointment.”
The comment was cold and completely unfeeling, though Gene had said she was busy and probably didn’t recognize the last name. But she wasn’t going to schedule an appointment to see her own mother. “I’m not leaving until I see her,” Jasmin stated adamantly.
There was another stilted pause, which showed that her mother had heard her and then her voice came over the speaker again. “Take her to the boardroom on the eighteenth floor and, Gene…don’t let Amit see her.”
Gene immediately stood up and instead of taking them back to the elevators, she led them down the stairwell of the emergency fire escape. She waited for them to enter the boardroom and closed the door behind them without saying another word.
Kevin looked wary as he sat down beside her in one of the high-back leather chairs. “Jasmin, maybe this isn’t a good idea.”
“Kevin, we traveled all this way to see her…I need to see her.”
He took her hand again and gently rubbed his thumb against hers while they waited. It was barely ten minutes later when the door opened again and it was like looking at a future version of herself. Her mother had the same long, black hair and light brown eyes, though her eyes weren’t as big and her lips were thinner which made her look more regal, more sophisticated.
“Hi,” Jasmin said, but her voice seemed to be stuck in her larynx. Her heart was racing at an incredible speed. “I’m Jasmint—”
“I know who you are.” Her tone was just as cold as before. “I want to know why you’re here.”
“I wanted to meet you…maybe talk a little…get to know each other.”
Jayshree didn’t sit down, which was a clear indication that she expected this conversation to be short. “Does Rajan know you’re here?”
“No, he told me never to contact you.”
“Then I suggest you leave. I don’t want a scandal. My husband can’t find out about you. I’m happily married now and I don’t want the mistakes from my past coming back to bite me.”
Jasmin took a second to process that. She’d played this meeting out in her head a million times. Sometimes it was wonderful, hugs and kisses and imaginable joy. But she’d also been realistic and envisioned that her mother would admit that she’d abandoned her because she hadn’t been ready to raise a child. They would talk about it and part ways amicably. But never in all her musings had she seen herself as a mistake.
“I-I wouldn’t be a scandal,” Jasmin began with a wobbly voice. “I’m really not a problem child. I don’t do drugs or party excessively. I’m respectful…If you just got to know me…” She had always tried to hide her intelligence from others, but now she wanted to tell her mother all of it so she would see that she wasn’t an embarrassment. “I’m smart. I’m really smart. I’m going to be heading up a research department next year and—”
“I know all about your science projects.”
With one sentence all her achievements were diminished to mere science projects. Kevin’s eyes were darting between the two of them and even though his thumb was pressing harder against hers, he remained quiet.
“And I’m sure you’re a great kid,” Jayshree continued. “But Rajan warned me to never contact you again.”
That got her attention. “What do you mean again? You tried before?”
“Yes, when you were younger, but he told me to stay out of your life. I tried again this year and he told me he’d expose me if I went anywhere near you. I have a colorful past, Jasmintha, one I’d like to keep hidden from my husband. I never thought Rajan would resort to blackmail, but that’s the game he’s chosen to play. I was willing to tell Amit about you, but Rajan said he would tell him about your father and that would expose my
entire past. I can’t have that.”
Kevin’s fingers tightened around hers and she heard his breathing elevate with her own. Her mind was reeling now. She was hot and flustered and on the verge of losing her mind. “What are you talking about?!” She didn’t mean to shout. It just came out that way. “Rajan is my father.”
Jayshree’s eyes widened a little, but she still maintained her calm and collected composure. “After our discussion this year, I thought he would have told you the truth.” She sighed and shook her head. “Your father is a druggie and filthy con-artist, which is why I left you with Rajan in the first place. God knows what would have happened to you if I left you with your real father. You would have ended up on the streets, sniffing coke and spreading your legs for anyone who would pay for it.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes but she didn’t allow them to fall. “You’re lying.”
“Jasmin,” Kevin said softly from beside her, “we should go.”
She stood up and banged her fist on the table. “You’re lying! He wouldn’t have kept that from me. He wouldn’t have raised me by himself for nineteen years if he wasn’t my real father.”
“If you don’t believe me, just ask him.” Her tone indicated that she was done with this conversation. “And your friend is right. You should leave. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am and I will not allow this to ruin my marriage. I finally have the life I wanted. I’m not scrounging for food, not begging for money. I’m not living paycheck to paycheck and that’s because of Amit. Understand, Jasmintha, it’s not that I don’t care about you. There are just other things I care about more.”
She said it in the same cold, unfeeling tone and Jasmin couldn’t bring herself to believe that she cared at all.
Journey to the Unknown Page 31