Dirty Little Secret

by Jennifer Ryan

  “You’ve been busy.”

  She impressed him with how fast she’d come up to speed on the ranch activities. Most people thought Speckled Horse Ranch only raised and trained Appaloosa and quarter horses. They were famous for both. But the ranch also ran cattle and had large fields of rotating crops. They grew their own hay and sold the surplus. Every few years, they contracted with a timber company to cull out the dead trees and some old growth to make room for the new. John had been most interested in the horses and cattle, but Noah began the other enterprises about ten years ago and all were profitable.

  “It took a week, but I finally worked my way through that stack of papers you left me.”

  “I checked out the upgrades you made to the spreadsheets and programs. Damn fine work. You’ve cut a couple of hours off some of the calculations and cross-referencing, and taxes aren’t going to be murder this year. You’ve saved us costs on feed, and I don’t know how you did it, but you negotiated a better price on hauling the cattle.”

  When she only shrugged, he frowned. No one could have accomplished what she’d done in such a short amount of time. And doing her other jobs at the same time. That she actually got their costs down with vendors he’d haggled with unsuccessfully was nothing short of a miracle. In the future, with them working together, the ranch would be stronger and more profitable. John had been a good partner, but Noah had to fight for every inch he’d gained in improving the ranch and expanding the operations.

  When he found out Roxy would be his new partner, he’d balked and hated the idea that everything he did would benefit someone who had no idea the amount of hard work and dedication it took to keep the ranch profitable. With Roxy, he didn’t have to worry. She got it.

  It also didn’t hurt his ego to see that she was impressed with him and what he’d done for the ranch.

  “All in a day’s work.” She picked up a red folder, the same one she handed him every day at some point to sign checks. He took it and sat in the seat in front of her desk. She handed him a pen and he slid his fingers over hers as he took it.

  “Is this how old people flirt?” Annabelle asked from the sofa. “You guys talk about spreadsheets and taxes and stare at each other.”

  Noah thought this the perfect time to see how Annabelle felt about him and Roxy and this thing between them. He didn’t want to label it. Not yet. Not when it was so new.

  She was a damn fine partner for the ranch, but he wanted more. He wanted a wife who loved him. He took the “till death” part of the wedding vows seriously. When he married, he wanted it for life. Kids. A family that stuck together.

  “I’m taking Roxy to the rancher’s dinner thing this Saturday,” he announced.

  Annabelle’s head snapped up. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Annabelle’s eyes darted everywhere but to Roxy.

  “Listen, Sprite. Roxy and I . . . we like each other.” That didn’t come close to how he felt about her. “I want to take her to dinner and see if there’s something more between us than spreadsheets and taxes,” he teased to keep things light.

  Roxy didn’t say a word, her eyes went from him to Annabelle, waiting to see where this went.

  “I think you two make a great couple.” Annabelle made that announcement with all the nonchalance of youth.

  Noah relaxed. A weight lifted he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying. If Annabelle was against him and Roxy getting together, he didn’t know what he’d do. He wanted Annabelle to be happy, but more, he wanted to be happy with Roxy.

  “I just think you’re kidding yourself if you think taking her to that dinner will change people’s minds. Seeing her with you will only stir things up more.” Annabelle’s brows drew together with concern.

  “Sprite, I don’t care what people say.”

  “You should,” she shot back. “It could make things worse for her. It’s bad enough she’s trapped here—”

  “She’s not trapped here.”

  Annabelle glared at him. “Are you blind? Have you not noticed that since everyone found out about her she hasn’t left the ranch? Mary picks up everything she wants from town. I’ve asked Roxy a dozen times to go for a girl’s day but she always turns me down. She says she’s got work, but I know she doesn’t want to stir up more gossip.”

  Noah stared at Roxy. “Is that right?”

  It took Roxy a few seconds to meet his gaze. “It’s true, I have a lot of work. But I am also trying to minimize the effect of my reputation on you and Annabelle. The last thing I want to do is cause a scene, especially with Annabelle with me.”

  Annabelle held her hand out toward Roxy. “See. Everyone is talking about her. What if they’re rude to her when she goes into town? It’s one thing to do it behind her back, but to do it to her face.” Annabelle shook her head, clearly distraught about anyone disrespecting Roxy, or being downright mean to her.

  Annabelle turned to Roxy. “You don’t know the people attending that dinner. They’re the most influential families around. They can make things very difficult for you and Noah.” Annabelle gave him a pleading look. “Tell her, Noah. You know how they can be when they want to cut someone out.”

  “If you’re this upset about it,” Roxy began, “perhaps it’s better if I stay home and Noah goes alone.”

  “No.” Noah stood and walked to Roxy, pulling her out of her chair. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him without his having to pull her close. His body responded to her closeness, but he kept his mind on the problem at hand. “You’re not staying home. You’re not going to hole up on this ranch like you did in your cottage.”

  “Noah, it’s fine.” She placed her hand on his chest. “They’re your friends and the people you work and do business with. Those relationships matter.”

  He cupped her face in his hands, rubbed his thumbs along her soft cheeks, and looked into her sincere eyes. “You matter. We’re going. All anyone has to do is spend time with you to know you’re nothing like what they’ve heard.”

  Roxy frowned, her eyes filled with trepidation. “You’re putting a lot of faith in them. Maybe it’s deserved. My experience is that people who hold a certain perception of me don’t tend to look for anything beyond what they think they see.” She swept a hand down to indicate her body. “I don’t exactly look like Suzy Homemaker.”

  “More like a Victoria’s Secret supermodel,” Annabelle confirmed. “I think you’re gorgeous. I wish I looked like you,” she said honestly.

  Roxy laughed. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. You’re lovely, Annabelle, and smart, and funny. Your kind heart shines through. Based on the number of boys hanging around the house the last week, I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about.”

  “They’re here trying to get a look at you,” Noah added, seeing Annabelle’s eyes turn away. “Isn’t that right, Sprite?”

  “Perhaps.” She gave Roxy a sheepish grin. “Half those boys never even noticed me.”

  Roxy left him to sit on the coffee table facing Annabelle. “They’re not worth knowing if all they want to do is use you.”

  Annabelle’s gaze dipped to her entwined hands in her lap. “I know.”

  Roxy touched Annabelle’s chin and made Annabelle look at her. “Some high school boys think sex is a sport. All they want is everyone else to pat them on the back and cheer for them because they’ve been with a girl. You don’t want to be someone’s participation trophy. Girls like you and me, we do things with our heart. Being with a boy means something. We’ve been let down by people close to us. Trust means something. It’s important. If a boy just wants to be your friend so he can get something out of it, he’s not really a friend. He’s using you. You’re smart, funny, kind, a good friend, and a great sister. Your worth isn’t tied to some boy liking you. Don’t let anyone treat you like you don’t matter.”

  “That’s right, Sprite. Stick up for yourself. Like Roxy will do at the dinner this Saturday.” He turned his gaze to her. “We’re going. You and I ar
e partners in this ranch. In addition to the charity element of this thing, it’s a chance to network with other ranchers in the area. We’ll go, talk shop, people will hear you speak about the ranch and business, they’ll get to know you. They’ll see who you really are, and if they can’t set aside their misconceptions, then screw them.”

  Roxy held her hand out toward Annabelle. “Language.”

  “She’s heard worse. And I mean it.”

  “Noah, I don’t know ranching the way you do. I might update the spreadsheets, but I couldn’t begin to tell you anything about the price of wheat, how much it sells for and why, or anything to do with cattle.”

  “Then stick to what you know. You’re a championship barrel racer. You hold more titles than anyone I’ve ever met. You know horses and training and breeding. Don’t think I didn’t notice you changed a few of my picks for the horses. Some of the pairings you made are interesting. I admit, I hadn’t considered them.”

  She opened her mouth, then closed it, unsure what to say and it made him smile. She thought she could pull one over on him.

  “I was going to discuss that with you,” she mumbled.

  “I’m sure you were, since the breeding program has been in my hands for the last couple of years. I think your choices were well thought-out and sound. Although, there is one or two I think you should reconsider. We’ll discuss it later. The point is, you understand horses and the raising and training of them. That will shine through, as you put it with Annabelle. So will your other many fine attributes.”

  “It’s hard to hide them,” she said, looking down at her curves.

  “While I love all your physical attributes,” he teased, “it’s your personality I’m talking about.”

  “I change my mind. You two should go together.” Annabelle nodded her approval. “You might not be able to change people’s minds, Roxy, but Noah will. All anyone has to do is see the way he looks at you and treats you, and they’ll know you’re someone worth knowing.”

  “Thank you, Sprite. It means a lot you think that highly of me.”

  “Everyone does. You’re a nice guy and you treat people well. You don’t put up with anyone who’s mean or rude.”

  “Maybe we should take Annabelle with us as a kind of buffer,” Roxy suggested.

  “I’m not taking my sister on a date.” Noah cringed at the thought. He wanted to be alone with Roxy. Well, after they faced everyone.

  “You’re right,” Roxy agreed. “I don’t want Annabelle there when someone brings up the whole hooker thing.”

  “You know, if we stop talking about ‘the whole hooker thing,’ everyone else might, too.”

  Annabelle and Roxy both looked skeptical.

  “I’m not talking about this anymore.” Noah just wanted to take her out, not start a debate about what everyone thought. “We’re going on Saturday. Now, Mary sent me in here to get you for dinner. Let’s eat.”

  Roxy grabbed his hand and stared at his watch. “Is that the time? I’ve got to get down to the practice ring. I’m working with one of the horses, doing some barrel racing.”

  “Not until you eat dinner,” Noah responded, twisting his hand to grab her wrist before she walked away. “You never eat with us. Mary says you either eat at your desk or standing in the kitchen, snacking on something. She leaves a plate for you in the fridge, and God knows how late it is before you eat it. You’re coming to dinner with us.”

  “Noah, I’ve got things to do.”

  “You need to eat. Have you had anything since that yogurt this morning?” She looked thoughtful, and he said, “If you can’t remember, it’s been too long since you ate something. Come on. The family eats together.”

  “I’m starving.” Annabelle bumped her elbow into his side as she passed and went through the door, leaving him alone with Roxy.

  Noah, frustrated and feeling surly, grabbed Roxy around the waist and turned her into him. He swooped in and took her mouth in a demanding kiss she didn’t hesitate to accept and give back. Her tongue slid across his and her hands slipped beneath his shirt and rose up his back, her fingers digging into his sore muscles. After a long day of work, her hands were like magic.

  He kissed his way along her jaw to her ear, and whispered, “You smell so good.” He inhaled and bit into her lobe, sliding his tongue along the edge before moving on to her neck. Her hands slid down his bare back and out of his shirt. He wanted her to touch him more and she did, grabbing handfuls of his hair and holding his head to her. He obliged her silent command for more, raking his teeth against her collarbone and soothing the small hurt with a slide of his tongue and openmouthed kisses to the pulse point at her throat.

  She sighed, “Noah.”

  He wanted more of those soft gasps and his name on her lips.

  Her breasts were so full and round in his palms. He swept his thumbs over the hard peaks. He wanted to drag her to the ground and peel away the layers of clothes until she was naked and writhing below him. He wanted to sink so deep inside her, even their hearts would beat as one.

  She dragged his mouth back up to hers, and he had no trouble gratifying whatever she wanted from him. Anything she asked or demanded, he was willing to give to have her in his arms like this.

  Something chimed in the distance and Annabelle’s, “Noah, get the door,” rang out, but he barely noticed either with Roxy in his arms, her perfect breasts filling his hands. He wanted to kick the office door shut and keep the world out.

  Roxy had other ideas, so he tried to stop her from leaving his embrace by sliding his hands around her back and pulling her closer. She planted her hands on his chest and nudged him away. Her laugh did the one thing her earlier halfhearted protests could not. He stood back and took her in.

  “God, you’re beautiful. You hardly ever laugh. You should do it more often.”

  “You make me laugh.” She reached up and slid her hand over his cheek the way she’d done this morning. He was coming to realize it was a guilty pleasure she allowed herself rarely, but she was getting used to reaching out and touching him. “You make me feel and do a lot of things I never did before.”

  “Never?” he asked, searching her face, putting those timid and hesitant gestures together to form a very innocent picture of Roxy.

  “Well, not never. But so rare, they’re almost forgotten. Do you know what I mean?”

  “Again,” he said, remembering their time in the barn when she told him about her mother.

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “You said you hoped I’d see you and understand you, but you were wrong. Again. I take that to mean you trusted someone once and they let you down like I did.”

  “There was someone else a very long time ago. I was young and foolish and believed he wanted me. What he wanted was the lie come to life in his bed. I learned one thing. A lie can only be made true if I make it so. I wouldn’t play his whore, so I was of no use to him.”

  “He was a stupid asshole and you’re better off without him.”

  “Better off to stay in school and get my degree and a good job and put men aside. A few good guys tried to turn my head.”

  “You never gave them a chance,” he guessed by the look on her face and understanding what she was trying to tell him. “Until me.”

  She nodded with a slight smile on her face, confident he’d understood her. “I’ll get the door.”

  He let her go, thinking about what she’d just told him. There’d only been one man to breach the walls around her heart and he’d broken it and made her shut herself away again. No, not a man. Some young, stupid guy. She was talking about late high school or early college.

  Until him.

  He joined Robby at the dining room table.

  “You look deep in thought.” Robby waited, but Noah didn’t answer. “A woman will do that to a man. Tie him up inside and leave him speechless. When that woman looks like Roxy and has a giving heart the way she does, she’ll tie a man in knots both physically and emotionally. Smart woman.
Knows how easy it is to fall into bed with nothing between you but a moment of pleasure shared. She’s got the right idea. It’s the getting to know you and letting you know her that will make this thing between you last.”

  Yeah, it would be easy to seduce Roxy into his bed, have her beneath him, on top of him, around him, but would it satisfy the part of him that felt a piece of her was becoming a very real part of him? Would she open up and confess her inner secrets, let him see the real Roxy beneath the confidence and strength she projected so easily, even though it hid a world of hurt and pain and disappointments she was only just beginning to share?

  Things he was sure she hadn’t confided to anyone else. She hadn’t shared her delectable body with anyone, since that asshole broke down her defenses and hurt her.

  With him, she gave herself over to their connection and revealed some of the most painful moments of her life. She did it despite the underlying fear he sensed in her. And even when he’d made that mistake, looked at her the wrong way, she’d taken a chance, forgiven him, and moved forward, deeper into their relationship, instead of closing him out.

  “Noah, man, everything all right? You look like someone ran over your dog.”

  “We don’t have a dog,” Noah pointed out, shaking off his thoughts. “I was just thinking that Roxy is so different from any woman I’ve ever met. She’s strong, confident, unflappable on the outside, but there’s so much more going on inside.”

  “Complex women. Difficult to get to know them. They don’t trust easily. In Roxy’s case, she’s got a lot going on in her life. It can’t be easy for her, but she holds up well.”

  “Yeah,” Noah answered. “We’re starting to find our footing.”

  “She’s the kind of woman who’ll stand beside you through thick and thin. She’ll walk into hell with you if she knows you’ll still be with her on the other side.”

  What Robby said was true. Roxy said it to him without words, but the underlying statement held true.