Love Like Crazy (Crazy Love Book 1)

by Carmen DeSousa

  “Kayla M’Lynn Jordan. M’Lynn is M with an apostrophe then Lynn. My mom was a big fan of the movie Steel Magnolias. She got M’Lynn from the movie.”

  “Well, your name is beautiful, too.”

  “What’s your middle name?”

  “Promise you won’t laugh?”

  She lifted her hand and made a cross over her heart. “Promise.”

  “James,” I whispered.

  Kayla threw her head back, but didn’t laugh. “Like Jesse James! That’s cute.”

  “Cute!” I grimaced. “It’s not supposed to be cute; my parents thought it’d be cool. They were wrong. Every year on the first day of school, even the teachers would chuckle as they called roll.”

  “Well, I think it’s sexy.” She peeked over her shoulder. “Jesse James and the Cowgirl. Perfect!”

  She giggled and I couldn’t help but agree. “Finally, a reason to be okay with my name. At least no one’s ever called me J.J. I don’t think I could have handled that. Hey! Can you keep the boat’s current trek for a sec? I’m going to get something to drink and a snack.”

  It was easy to get off-track in such a tight channel, especially trying to maneuver from the front of the boat, but she managed wonderfully. I took a swig of water, then pulled out the plastic container with the Snickers. I offered her the jug, and she accepted it without even a grimace. She flipped up the nozzle and let it pour into her mouth. It was a test, I realized, and she’d passed. It’d always irritated me that Morgan would kiss me, but wouldn’t take a sip of water after me.

  I held out the plastic container with the bite-size Snickers bars. “Sorry they’re unwrapped. It’s illegal to bring wrappers on the waterway.” She accepted without one mention of I’m on a diet or I don’t eat carbs. They were silly tests, but they were things that had always bothered me. I wanted a real woman, not a fake and whiny Hollywood wannabe. I’d had my fill of them.

  “Jesse,” she whispered, “look.”

  Her voice snapped my mind from its wanderings again. A deer and its fawn stood at the water’s edge. I stopped paddling, allowing the boat to coast. The momma’s head popped up when she saw us, but she didn’t run. Evidently, the deer was accustomed to people. Instead of a full stroke, I used the paddle like a rudder, keeping us headed in the right direction. Once we passed the deer, I resumed paddling.

  “This is nice, Jesse.” I loved hearing her voice. I was certain it wasn’t intentional, but the way she said my name with her soft southern drawl, it dripped with seduction, making my insides churn. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Yes …” I said hesitantly. “Remember, you get your turn to ask the really personal questions on the way back.” I didn’t want to get into any deep discussions when it was so peaceful. Then again, that was one of the reasons I’d chosen to bring her here. That and so we’d have time to be alone.

  “Have you brought other girls here?”

  Not really wanting to talk about Morgan, I gulped. I had no emotional feelings for Morgan. Not after what she’d said — and done. Still, thinking about my ex reminded me of who I was, and I didn’t want to be who I was. Not yet anyway. This fall — once I moved out of my father’s house and started college — I’d be exactly who I was, rather, who I planned to be.

  Kayla turned, looking for my answer.

  “Yes,” I said. “But only one girl, my ex-girlfriend Morgan. We’d been together for a while when I brought her here, not after only knowing her a couple of days. Still, it didn’t go very well. She isn’t much of an outdoor person.”

  Kayla didn’t respond, but seemed to accept my answer. Not that it should matter if I brought someone else here, but I had told her last night that I was taking her someplace special, so I guess I could understand her question. Maybe bringing Kayla here had been a test, too, to see if she responded as ridiculously as Morgan had, as if I’d taken her on the Amazon.

  “Since we’re on the subject of exes, how ’bout you?”

  She shrugged. “I’m so busy with the house and horses, I really don’t have time to date. Sometimes I go out with friends. Group stuff, ya know?”

  “Well, yeah … me too, but there’s someone. You have an ex-boyfriend, right?” God, how stupid I was. Maybe she didn’t have an ex. What guy in his right mind would break up with her? She probably had a guy missing her right now.

  “No, Jesse. I don’t have an ex-boyfriend. I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

  “What? Why?” I couldn’t imagine that guys didn’t ask her out constantly.

  “I told you,” she said on a sigh. “I’ve been too busy. It’s a lot of work running a house and helping Dad with the business.”

  God, I felt like a heel. Yesterday I’d been accusing her of being a spoiled rich girl, and she worked harder than I do. Then a thought occurred to me. If she didn’t date … the way she’d closed her eyes and moved toward me last night, but hadn’t actually kissed me, as though she were waiting.

  “Kayla,” I started, feeling stupid. It was like my question last night. Maybe it was too personal, but I wanted it to be personal. “Last night … us … was that your first kiss?”

  She released a long soft sigh. “Yes.”

  “Oh, Kayla! Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve waited.” What an impulsive idiot I’d been. Her head dropped a few inches. I hated that I couldn’t see her eyes. To know what she was thinking. “I’m sorry,” I said softly.

  “Wasn’t it good, then?”

  Of course she’d worry about something like that. Not that I’d rushed our first kiss. I sighed. “You’re such a silly girl. That’s not what I meant. Are you kidding? I didn’t sleep a wink last night. Our kiss — kisses — were all I could think about. Almost all I can think about now. I just wouldn’t have been so impulsive.”

  “Well, I thought my first kiss was perfect.”

  “It was.” Now kissing Kayla again was all I could think about.

  Our break mark was approaching. It was a little over the halfway point and not where others usually stopped. The flat clearing was right off the bank, but hidden behind a grouping of trees. Thankfully, most kayakers missed it. When I was by myself, I’d stop and read, letting the other boaters pass me so I’d have the run to myself. I could catch up in plenty of time without missing the porter. And if Kayla asked if I’d brought another girl there, I’d be able to honestly say no.

  I had thought about taking Morgan when we’d kayaked the river, but by then she’d complained so much that I didn’t want to make the trip any longer than necessary. She’d shrieked at every single water bug that got close to the boat, she didn’t attempt to paddle at all, and when we did see a gator, she bellowed so loudly I thought she would have a stroke. As much as Kayla acted afraid when I told her about the critters we might see, her expression revealed that she was excited. Maybe she really wanted to see me wrestle an alligator. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought. I was just crazy enough to attempt it, if it would impress her.

  Spotting the bend I was looking for, I turned the boat toward the bank. I approached as close to the side as possible so she could step out onto the ground. She saw what I was proposing and lithely stepped out of the boat with the assistance of a nearby vine.

  After she was clear, I jumped out and drew the kayak out of the water. As she’d done at the start of the trip, she walked around the back of the boat and helped me carry it. The girl was amazing. Not once had Morgan ever helped; it was beneath her. Even at the beach when it was a long haul, she would make me carry everything, even though most of the items were her stuff. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as the realization hit me that Kayla really could be the one. Just like her parents, I could see myself waiting for her, never being with another woman for the rest of my life.

  As quickly as the thought permeated my brain, dread set in. Would she wait? Would she want me? She had a year of high school left, and as she’d pointed out, she lived six hundred miles away. I shook the thoughts from my head. Just enjoy these few da
ys, that’s what I needed to do, not worry about the future. I was entirely too serious; I needed to relax.

  “So, where are we going?” Kayla drawled as she practically skipped behind me. “You’re not dragging me off to bury my body in the woods, are you?”

  “I don’t think I could get away with that since your family knows you’re with me. They do know you’re with me, don’t they?” I asked with the most menacing voice I could summon.

  “Ooh … scary. Big bad Jesse James.” Her deep accented speech rose and fell playfully, making me want to burst out laughing, but I restrained my laughter since she couldn’t see me.

  Forcing a severe glower, I stopped in the small clearing, dropped the front of the boat, and turned to face her. “Wait’ll I make you swim in the freezing springs. Then you’ll be frightened.”

  Following my lead, she dropped her end of the boat and then her eyes bugged wide as she faked a shiver. “You’re right! That will frighten me. You won’t really make me do that, will you?”

  I pulled a blanket out of the dry bag and spread it over a small clearing. “Yep! Even if I have to carry you in myself.”

  As I reached for the cooler, I watched Kayla as she ambled toward the blanket. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to hope we find some gators for you to wrestle.”

  My heart racing, I set down the cooler and reached for her. She glided into my arms sinuously, allowing me to lead her onto the blanket. My hands, seemingly of their own accord, moved up her face, pushing her hat off her head to loose her wild mane of hair. As curly as her hair was, it was incredibly soft. Drawing her body closer, I buried my face in her hair, breathing in her aroma. Apple and other fresh, clean scents permeated my senses. Not too perfumey.

  “Mmm … You smell wonderful. Maybe that’s what kept me up all night,” I murmured.

  Nuzzling my way down the line of her jaw, I found her lips, but hesitated. I didn’t want her to think that kissing her was the only reason I’d brought her here. She didn’t move away. Instead, her breath was warm against my face and her breathing had quickened. Unable to stop myself, I closed the few inches. My heart raced as she gripped my shirt. I delicately slid my tongue across her lips, parting them, aware of the fact that this was still new to her. She accepted me and I kissed her deeper, trying not to overwhelm her. Her hands moved to my head, her fingers intertwining in my hair. Her breathing deepened as she pulled her body up against mine.

  All too quickly, though, I realized we had to stop. The familiar burn coursed through my body, and my board shorts got tighter. “Kayla,” I whispered breathlessly beneath her soft lips. “We need to slow … we can’t …”

  “Why?” she asked between soft kisses. “We’re just kissing —”

  I gasped and backed away, draping a towel over my lap. “Because … I won’t want to stop.” Winded more than if I’d run a four-minute mile, I attempted to control my breaths and busied myself by pulling out our lunch.

  “What are you afraid of, Jesse?” She touched my cheek, coaxing me to look at her, but then she smiled and lowered her head. “You’re not a werewolf, are you?”

  Despite myself, I laughed. “No. Much worse. I’m a seventeen-year-old hormone-filled male.” I exhaled a long breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that I wouldn’t stop if you asked me to. I just … I know how things can heat up quickly when —” I broke off my words. I didn’t want to discuss anyone other than us. It didn’t matter what I’d done or what she’d done, or what others do. I knew what I needed to do. “I’m sorry, Kayla. Maybe I shouldn’t have stopped here. I don’t want you to think that I brought you here so we could make out.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Did you bring Morgan here?”

  I wanted to laugh at her jealous tone. I probably shouldn’t have even mentioned Morgan’s name. “No, Kayla. Only you. But the reason I brought you here is so we could talk, not so I could take advantage of you.”

  “Jesse!” She laughed. “I don’t think you’re trying to take advantage of me. Far from it! Have you heard me complaining?” She pushed by me and reached into the cooler. “So, what did you make for us?” She’d changed the conversation in a second, sounding downright happy, instead of being upset that I’d kissed her — or that I’d stopped.

  I shook my head, wondering how some guy hadn’t snapped up this beautiful girl. I curbed the thought, hoping she really didn’t have someone in North Carolina waiting for her to come home. Kayla had said she’d never dated anyone, but I’d found that some girls just said what they thought guys wanted to hear. Maybe that’s why she had a ring on her left ring finger. I wanted to ask, but I wasn’t sure how to ask without sounding jealous.

  “Just PB&Js again,” I finally answered her. “But I’ll buy you dinner on the way back. I don’t want you to think I’m cheap.”

  She leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “I think you’re romantic.”

  I resisted rolling my eyes. No one had ever called me romantic before. Most girls didn’t think a day of kayaking and peanut butter sandwiches was romantic. All she’d seen so far was my backing away from her and accusing her of being a snob. What did she see in me? I still wasn’t sure if she was as good as she seemed. I couldn’t keep myself from wavering back and forth.

  She took a bite of the sandwich, then tipped the cooler up, letting the water pour into her mouth. Afterward, she swiped her fingers across her moist lips. “Is it my turn yet?”

  “Nope,” I said through a gulp, wondering if she had any idea how sexy she was. “I told you … you get your turn on the way back. Besides, I have more questions for you.” I’d thought of another important question, but wanted to make sure I asked it in the right way. As always, what sounded correct in my head came out incorrect and blunt. “So what will your dad think of me?”

  “Oh, he’s excited to meet you,” she said without missing a beat. “He’s impressed that you work a full-time job while going to school. He did that too.”

  I almost choked on the bite of food I’d just taken. “You already told your dad about me and what I do?”

  “Of course,” she said, as though it was the most natural thing in the world. “I tell my dad everything. I called him this morning and told him we were spending the day together. He gets up early, too. Actually, he rarely sleeps.” She touched my arm, as though I wasn’t already in rapt attention. “Dad wants to know if you’ll go to lunch with us on Saturday.” She planted her hands on her hips. “And why are you so down on what you do? Dad said plumbers make great money.”

  I couldn’t suppress my surprise. “I don’t understand, Kayla. You say you’ve never dated, so I assume you’ve never introduced a guy to your father. Why me? I’ve done nothing.”

  Her eyes softened. “Yes, you have. You came last night, even though you didn’t want to. You’re friendly and respectful to my grandmother. She told me so much about you that I felt like I already knew you when you arrived yesterday. You didn’t fall for Charity’s approaches. I’m pretty sure she likes you.”

  I shook my head. I never would have thought that; at least, before yesterday I wouldn’t have. She’d been dating Nathan practically all through high school. According to Morgan, they’d already been planning when and where they’d get married.

  “She was fuming when I woke up before she did yesterday,” Kayla continued. “Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t even know she was interested since she was dating someone, until I came inside and she started yelling at me for,” Kayla lifted her hands, making quote marks in the air, “‘fraternizing with the help.’” Her mouth twisted at the words, as though they’d upset her. “Her words, not mine.” She dropped her hands into her lap. “I saw something in your eyes yesterday, Jesse, something I couldn’t explain. I still can’t explain. It doesn’t make sense, I know, but I wanted to know you more. I want —” She broke off, staring at me. “I talk too much.”

  I sat dumbfounded. How many times did she have to admit how she felt before I’d believe it was true? I wanted to believe her, wan
ted to believe that she wasn’t playing some joke on me, something cooked up by Charity and Morgan. God, what was wrong with me? I wanted to know what she wanted, but I was afraid to ask her to continue her thoughts.

  The least I could do is assuage her of feeling any guilt over her cousin. “Charity doesn’t like me, Kayla. We’ve gone to school together since the third grade, and she’s never given me the time of day, so no worries there. She just likes to flirt. According to Morgan, she —” I stopped talking as Kayla narrowed her eyes again. “Uh, sorry.” I scratched my head. “Ancient history, I swear. We’ve just all known each other a long time.”

  Kayla nodded, but her eyes were still lowered more than usual. “Do you want to meet my father on Saturday, or what?”

  I smiled at her directness. I liked it. “Sure! Yes. Very much so.” I rested my hand against her cheek again, loving how soft her skin felt. She leaned into my hand, then turned and kissed my palm. Kayla was genuine. No way could she fake this. I’d never felt this with Morgan or any girl I’d dated. The feelings that soared through me now were so new, so unusual I couldn’t place them. They weren’t the same as before, when I was kissing her and knew we needed to stop. A different passion filled me. I wanted to be with her, always, just next to her. I didn’t need anything else. Without a doubt, this feeling would carry me through the long year ahead. I pulled her close, kissing her again. It felt better, different. None of those other stirrings attacked me. I just wanted to kiss her. Her lips moved seductively over mine, and it was hard to imagine she’d never kissed before. We fit together perfectly.

  Catching her breath, she stopped our kiss first this time. “Wow! That was different from before.” She gulped a mouthful of air, and her reaction made me smile.

  “This feels right, Kayla. For the first time, I wasn’t worried about going too fast or too far. I will never hurt you.” The truth engulfed me. I didn’t just want her body; I wanted her heart, and I was willing to work for it.

  As we got back to eating lunch, I stared at the ring on her left hand again. “Kayla?”