Az

by A A Bavar

  “Look at me! Talk to me!”

  I took a step towards her, but before I could go any further a subtle breeze wafted across the room. The candles flickered briefly, and the dim yellowish light turned a dark orange. For the moment, I had to let it go – let her go – and switch gears. The man of the hour had arrived.

  “You couldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t have done that. You manipulated her into that alley.”

  A shadow jumped out from the corner closest to the hooded figure and with it Lucifer in his human form. He glanced over, acknowledging her presence, then walked past her and planted himself between us. The hooded figure didn’t move or react.

  “Dear brother, I didn’t do any such thing. Kay’s death is the result of the tragedy, or better, the travesty that is Man. You know it, and I know it. Or else, we wouldn’t be standing here now.” Lucifer rubbed his goatee and looked at me with those pale eyes. “Now, I believe who couldn’t or shouldn’t have done what they did is you. But between us, didn’t you enjoy the freedom? The power to impart justice the way you wanted – the way it was meant to be as Azrail?

  “Yes.” There was no point denying it. “And now, I will pay the price for that freedom.”

  “Good.” Lucifer made a sharp motion with his hand. “Come and kneel before your master.”

  For a moment, contempt overwhelmed me, and I wanted nothing more than to engage in a self-destructing battle that would end it all. But there was no fight left in me and that momentary rush was replaced by a sense of resignation. I walked to Lucifer, each step heavier and more demanding than any fight or challenge, but to sacrifice was to love. I stopped and bowed in feigned respect.

  “As fearful as a master can possibly be, I will always be a more dangerous servant.” I surreptitiously looked up at the hooded figure and hoped that she would one day understand. Unlike me, her desire to be kind was far greater than her need to always be righteous, and a patient heart that listens has the power to transform. She would do a better job than me and maybe even save Man. “To your enemies, of course.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind as I break you to mold you. Now, kneel!” Lucifer grabbed my shoulder with one hand and forced me down. My lack of resistance surprised him, and he grinned as I dropped to my knees. “You’ve been such a pain in my side for so long, brother, but I wanted the rose and I was never afraid of a few thorns.”

  I didn’t look at him, but kept my head down. Suddenly, he grasped my hair and violently yanked my head back, forcing me to look up into his face. I felt the bones in my back crack as my neck snapped upward. The muscles and tendons holding my head screamed in pain as fire shot up and down my spine, but my mouth did not utter the slightest sound nor my face reveal the least discomfort. It was hard to contain, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Lucifer, with his eyes riveted on mine, bent down until his face was only an inch away. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face, and it didn’t smell putrid as I imagined it would. It had a hint of apple.

  “You’re very fluent in silence when talking isn’t wise. Continue like this and we shall all get along just fine.” He looked back at the hooded figure without moving his head. The message was clear. “I once vowed that I would have your soul, and by ME, that day has come!”

  He could have it, I was done with it. I had run it high and low well past its expiration date, and there was nothing that he could do to me that I feared. I was ready to succumb to anything as long as she was left out of it, but then as if answering my thoughts, Lucifer released my head and turned. He stood there in silence behind the hooded figure. My muscles tensed, and I was ready to lunge, to defend her, when I realized that he wasn’t really looking at her, but past her towards the wall. His focus was my scythe. Bran was also there, perched on its handle, and I wondered when he arrived. He looked venomous, and his beady eyes were riveted on Lucifer. I knew he wanted to peck his eyes out, but he was obeying me by staying clear. Lucifer stretched out his arm and summoned the scythe, but like a beast that was being forced into captivity, it shook violently and resisted. Bran cawed in anger and jumped off. He looked at me for approval, one last attack to permanently mark the day, but I shook my head. I didn’t want him in Lucifer’s way. He was to guide and protect the hooded figure after I was gone. Lucifer tried again, this time with his whip, only to be denied by an even more explosive rejection as the two made contact and blue and red lightning flew in every direction. Bran did what I wanted to do. He voiced his pleasure at Lucifer’s rejection by circling the space above the scythe and cawing repeatedly. I managed a smirk, but made him stop and quiet down. I was going to be the only target today.

  Lucifer slowly turned to me. “Apparently, I’m not the only one to remember or hold a grudge. There is common blood between it and me.” His voice was calm, almost amused by the scythe’s behavior. He walked past me and I looked down to hide my satisfaction. “There’s no rush, it will yield and learn to obey me,” he said, and stood behind me. “But the one thing that will not, and it’s quite apparent that he is a chip off of the old block, is that annoying bird.”

  I couldn’t see Lucifer, but my head zinged with dread. Lucifer never made empty threats and as I turned to Bran, I saw his eyes glow red and he tried to caw. My companion, the one friend that accompanied me throughout the centuries and sat by me on those long and destructive nights, dropped to the floor dead. I looked at him one last time and mourned. Soon, I would be laying with him.

  “Now, back to business!”

  Having Lucifer stand behind me was the ultimate threat, but to be willingly at his mercy was a far greater challenge than anything I had ever faced. I once told a great leader that you never turn your back on danger and try to run away because that would only heighten the threat. Instead you cut it in half by meeting it promptly and ferociously. He did and he won. But here I was on my knees with my back to the true definition of danger, and my will for defiance was overpowered by the necessity for sacrifice. I did not feel elated, but I also didn’t look at it as humiliation.

  I looked up and noticed that the hooded figure had turned and was facing me. Her face continued obscured by her hood, and she was once again absentmindedly caressing the pendant around her neck. Then, slowly, purposefully she lowered her hand and revealed it to me. My heart skipped a beat as the nine-pointed-star shone momentarily before disappearing within the folds of her cloak. It was her, my little one. Before I could say or do anything, I heard a swishing sound behind me and the hooded figure gasped. I twisted my head to the side just in time to see a black talon flash across my vision with Lucifer in his beastly form. I felt no tug or resistance as it cut through my leather overcoat and slashed open the skin from my left shoulder blade to the middle of my back. Pain seared through me as I gritted my teeth in an attempt to smother the reflex to cry out. Before I could recompose, however, I felt the steel-like edge of the talon once again against my skin, cutting my back open this time from the right shoulder blade down and across. I lost control, and even with my teeth clenched together and my jaw locked shut, I heard myself grunt in pain. A much louder and anguished scream, however, overwhelmed the room.

  “No…” It was the hooded figure.

  “Don’t worry, my angel, I’m just marking the X for my treasure. The best is yet to come.”

  Lucifer’s words were a jumble. The pain was so intense that I felt myself passing out, but her outcry filled me with new determination and I held on. My back was cut to shreds and my muscles burned as blood streamed to the floor, but I used every ounce of my will to keep my wings from folding out. If he wanted them, he would have to pry them out himself. X marks the spot, but unlike popular belief, it’s not where the treasure is buried and yes, where the executioner aims and delivers the final blow to condemned prisoners. Lucifer wanted my wings; my prized treasure was his bull’s-eye.

  Even though I was prepared for the assault, I never sensed it come, and the jolt from the impact took my breath. Lucifer rammed something cold and ha
rd into the open wound and was using it as a lever to force my wings out. Every nerve shrieked and fired in agony, but I remained silent. Cold sweat covered my forehead and dripped from my brow into my eyes and down my face. Finally, as my body weakened and my being was nothing but raw pain, I succumbed and my wings opened to the world with a majestic swish. I was so weak and dizzy that the motion made me fall forward, and I had to use my hands and arms to keep me from crashing to the floor. From my half prostrated position, I looked up at the hooded figure, and this time I was sure that the reflection that I saw was her tears. Why was she still here? She had delivered me and that in itself was more than she had to do. For me, to have her witness giving myself without resistance, looked humiliating. I was afraid she wouldn’t understand. I still wanted to be her hero; her angel.

  Lucifer roared with delight and lowered himself onto one knee beside me. He brought his head down and cocked it sideways so that his eyes were level with mine, obstructing my view. There was an unusual glint, a dancing fire, in his eyes as he smiled, and for the first time I saw what it looked like when the devil was happy; a black hole where existence has no past or future.

  “I waited a very long time for this. There were times when I could have hurt you, taught you a good lesson, but it wouldn’t be memorable enough – as you yourself once said. So, I waited and waited until you acted like Man and gave me the perfect opening. When you started caring, you became vulnerable, but when you fell in love you became a wise fool who disregarded himself. Not that I didn’t weave the path you walked, but the choices were all yours.” Lucifer grabbed my throat, his talons sinking into my neck, and pushed me back so I could once more see the hooded figure staring at us. “Take a good look. Man never controls his own fate. It’s the women in his life that do it for him.” He let go and stood. “Remember this?” he said, and drew something out from behind him and held it in front of me. It was a bloody scimitar, the one he had used as a lever.

  I immediately recognized the ornate handle of the scimitar. It was Benaiah’s sword, King Solomon’s executioner. The last time I saw it was on the day when Solomon had to decide the fate of a baby. Because the truth was elusive, he asked Benaiah to cut the child in half and give each women their fair share, and by doing so revealed the truth and proved his wisdom. It was time for me to do the same.

  “It used to be an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, but I’m going to change that a little and add compounded interest. Let’s see, how about two wings for my broken horn?” Lucifer planted his feet squarely on the ground and raised the weapon above his head. “That was rhetorical, of course.”

  I looked over my shoulder at my wings and for an instant felt nostalgic. They were awe inspiring, but as a fallen angel they would never grow back. I turned my head to the ground and nodded my consent. I heard the familiar sound of steel cutting through air and gritted my teeth ready for impact. Suddenly, there was thunder and a flash of blinding light as the door to the room exploded, sending shards of metal and wood everywhere. I heard Lucifer roar in frustration as he stumbled backwards. The scimitar missed its mark, crashing on the stone floor beside my leg. The hooded figure was thrown back hard against the wall where my scythe was resting and fell to the floor unconscious. I looked up and there, standing in the doorframe, was Michael.

  “Azrail, no! It’s Kay, she’s…”

  I raised my left arm and fired. The blue fireball hit Michael square in the chest and propelled him backwards. He smashed against the wall of the hall behind him and fell. He and his armor now had some memorable dents and bruises.

  “This is between Lucifer and me, so stay out of it. What’s done is done!” I was furious. He didn’t know anything about Kay, but wanted to tell me what to do. I couldn’t let Lucifer find out, just yet, who the hooded figure was, and it was up to me to protect her. To do that, I had to do this all the way. “Just make sure you protect the new angel.” With that, I fired three more fireballs at the ceiling above the door.

  Michael, half crouched and on his side, reached into his pocket. “Azrail, you don’t understand…” The explosions drowned his words. The structure of the room shook violently as cracks spider-webbed their way up the walls, and then with a mighty crash, the ceiling started to cave in. I saw Michael jerk his hand free from his pocket and throw something shiny through the door right before the rest of the ceiling collapsed, cutting us from the world and further interruptions. I tried to see what the little object was, but it bounced across the floor and disappeared in the rubble. It didn’t really matter anyway. I didn’t care.

  Still on my hands and knees, I turned to the hooded figure lying on the ground unconscious and clambered my way towards her. For the first time that day, I could see her partially uncovered face, and it hurt more than any physical damage that Lucifer had inflicted on me. Before I reached her, however, Lucifer’s foot crashed down on my lower back and pinned me to the ground.

  “Don’t worry about her, she’ll get used to my parties; maybe. This isn’t Georgia and Johnny isn’t invited. A fiddle made of gold isn’t much of a prize when you can’t hold it long enough to play; it’s just too damn heavy. I prefer mine, because in the end I always get what I go up to get. I love Man, they’ve got so much of me.” Lucifer laughed heartily. “When I play, everyone has to dance, baby.”

  Lucifer took his foot off of my back but immediately grabbed the neckline of my coat, his claws ripping into the back of my neck, and yanked me back into a kneeling position.

  “Let’s finish what we started, shall we?” He took a step forward and stood behind me to my right. “Again, rhetorical in case you were wondering.” As he raised the scimitar, the hooded figure moaned softly. I looked up at her, only a foot away, and our eyes met as Lucifer lustily swung the sword down in a precise arc, slashing my right wing off with a clean cut at its base. My wing, with its black feathers adorned in silver, fell to the floor with a soft thud, but unlike repentance offered to the owner of a branded leaf, it was part of my penance. It confirmed my fall and toned my menial future.

  The hooded figure’s horrified shriek filled the room. I, in turn, choked and my scream was caught inside me, but not in pain. My mind and eyes were at war as I looked into the face that I knew so well and yet did not know.

  “Who are you?” Somewhere in my past I knew her. Her resemblance to Kay. And then I remembered. “Martha?” The name came out as a whisper and was almost lost in the pounding coming from behind the fallen walls as Michael tried to breach the room.

  “I’m so sorry… I didn’t know!” cried the girl. A torrent of tears poured from her eyes, and I knew that she was crying, not for herself, but for me.

  Lucifer stepped over my legs and positioned himself for the next blow. “How touching. If you were a saint, girl, all of humanity would be cured. Now, hold your tears a bit longer because I’m not done!”

  Before Lucifer could swing, Martha got to her knees and threw herself in-between us. “Please, you got what you wanted. He’s here now. Use him, but let him be.”

  “What? And have a lopsided trophy? No, I can’t do that, especially because I was thinking of putting his wings behind my throne made of stone.” He said the last three words in a mocking rhyme and smiled. “I almost feel like dancing. I think I’m getting giddy with joy.” Then, instantly, his face once again turned cold and beastly. “But I’m not happy. I want my other wing,” he sneered.

  To me, nothing that was going on behind me made any sense. “Martha, why?” was the only thing I could say.

  Lucifer roughly pushed her aside, and she fell to the ground beside me, but I kept my head bowed and did not look at her. I couldn’t. Where was Kay? “Enough of this! How many times has the good guy, me of course, paused at the freaking finish line for some stupid reason and then lost the damn race because the so-called hero does something unbelievably spectacular and definitely impossible?” Lucifer lifted the scimitar above his head. “All the time in the movies, but in real life. Never!” Once again I he
ard the swishing sound of steel cutting through air and clenched my gut in reaction. I heard the thud, and then pain took hold and seared through me like hot lava. I fell to my side, and there was nowhere to look but at Martha.

  My body convulsed uncontrollably, and soon I was lying in a pool of my own blood. If I were my old self, the cuts and my wings would heal. Now, I wasn’t sure how I would recover, but I knew that Lucifer would not let me die. He wanted his high-born slave.

  Martha crawled over and held my face. “I’m so sorry…” she sobbed. “I did it for Kay.”

  “How touching. Do what you want to get what you want and in the process indiscriminately destroy others – in this case my dear brother. Don’t get me wrong, I truly appreciate that, but then to sob like a child and say you’re so sorry. Hmm…” Lucifer stopped and scratched his head in feigned wonder. “I’ve seen it work over and over and it never ceases to surprise the me out of me, but my bet is on a different kind of ending here. Man is more forgiving than an angel, so go ahead, reminisce and catch up. I’ll just stand here in the corner and enjoy my show.”

  I felt drops on my face and realized that my eyes were closed. I opened them and was again shocked to see the eyes that should have been Kay’s looking down at me with so much regret. “What happened?” My voice sounded alien even to me. My breath came in spurts and I was lightheaded, causing the burning sensation in my back to feel less intense.

  “My life ended the day that man dragged me out of my car but left my baby to die.” Martha grabbed my hand and brought it to her chest. Then, slowly, she wrapped the fingers of her left hand around my index finger. My heart stopped and I was suddenly alert. “You were there, and I knew what you were. I begged you and begged you to save her, to take me instead. But you just sat there by her and looked at me without showing the least bit of compassion or understanding. I hated you so much.” She was sobbing again. “How could you sit there and let her innocently play with your fingers when you knew she was about to die?”