The Secret Pleasures of an Earl: (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book)

by Deborah Wilson

  “What?” If Pia had been lost before, she was certainly lost now. What kind of women did Sirius spend his time with?

  Cebele shrugged unapologetically. “I told her to stop touching something. When she refused to listen… Thankfully, the entire party was far too drunk to recall what happened and I wasn’t the only one who bit someone that night.” She winked. “But honestly, I don’t know what came over me. Sirius told you we used to share a bed, didn’t he?”

  Pia opened her mouth to respond, though she wasn’t certain what to say.

  “Did he tell you he proposed marriage as well?”

  “What?” Pia’s heart began to wilt.

  Cebele held up her hands. “It was only the once and it was a very long time ago. We were both rather young, and I’m sure you can imagine that he never asked me again.”

  Again, Pia was lost for words.

  “Anyway, I’m very glad that he found you,” Cebele said. “I always knew he would find the one. Some lovely, kind woman who would be the softness in the hard cruel world that we who work for Van Dero reside in. The light in the dark.”

  Was Cebele admitting that she could not be Sirius’ light in the dark? Did it mean she was dark as well? She had bitten a woman, for heaven’s sake.

  Pia was stunned by the woman’s words and her forwardness but also glad for it. “Forgive me for being frank—”

  Cebele took her hand. “Oh, please be frank.” She grinned.

  Pia stared down at their hands and then at Cebele. “Are you not upset about our marriage?”

  “Not at all,” Cebele said. “The girls need a mother. A good mother. You can’t imagine that after everything I’ve told you that I would make a good mother.”

  Pia tried to be gracious. “I don’t know… Exactly, what was it the woman touched that caused you to bite her?”

  Cebele laughed. Her eyes were like clear topaz stones.

  “Sirius said you were associates and that you knew the duke?”

  “How much do you know about what Sirius does?” she asked.

  Pia shrugged. “I’m not sure. I know he collects things.”

  Cebele nodded. “Think of Van Dero as a tree. A large tree with long branches.” She lifted her fingers and spread them to demonstrate. “Your husband oversees one of those branches.”

  “And what do you do?”

  Cebele put her hands down. “I’m the squirrel in the tree. I bounce around. Make chaos. Make beauty. It all comes together in the end. I’ve been working to discover who is working against Van Dero. It starts with disorder and then everything comes together.”

  It sounded very complicated, but from Cebele’s expression, it was clear she enjoyed it. Pia had no idea how a woman, an earl’s daughter, had ever found herself in such a position, but she found herself wanting to learn more about Madam Cebele.

  “Why do they call you Madam?” Pia asked.

  “The children at the workhouses call me that,” Cebele said. “I’m quite involved in charity. The lost are my weakness. It’s why I adore the new Van Dero. He understands what it’s like to be a forgotten child.”

  Pia hadn’t known that. “And you?”

  Cebele’s smile waned. “The weather is far too bitter. My story would only make it all the colder. Perhaps another time.”

  Another time. Pia didn’t know this woman, what she did know didn’t sit well with her. She would not ask Cebele if she planned to make chaos in Pia’s home and continue to share her bed with Sirius. Sirius had said he wouldn’t stray but…

  Cebele leaned forward. “Catnip eyes.” She grinned. “Sirius owes me a great deal of money. I bet him some time ago that he’d marry a woman who matched the words to his song. You’ll have to tell me about the tree?”

  “The tree?”

  “The song,” she said.

  “I think that’s enough.” Sirius’ sudden appearance left Pia’s mind spinning.

  “I’ll go ride with the girls while you both speak and then take my leave,” Cebele said, her smile not as wide as it had been at first. “It was lovely meeting you, Lady Pia.”

  “Goodbye, Lady Cebele.” Pia watched her head for the girls.

  “Well?” Sirius asked once she was gone. He looked tense. She liked that he was nervous, but it wasn’t enough to cool her anger.

  “You proposed to her,” Pia said.

  Sirius’ eyes widened. “She told you that?”

  Pia matched his expression. “Did you think I shouldn’t know? How many secrets are you planning to keep from me, Sirius?” Pia lifted her hands. “I don’t want to know—”

  Sirius grabbed her hand. “Pia, it was a long time ago. Almost ten years ago. I was twenty-two and I never asked again.”

  “And so you believe it doesn’t matter?” she asked, even though she understood what he meant.

  He lifted a brow. “You’ve known me for some time now. Do I ever stop until I get what I want?”

  Pia thought and pressed her lips together.

  Sirius rolled his eyes. “I know another woman for ten years, leave her bed, meet you, am stunned by your beauty, rendered speechless by your wit, enthralled by your kindness, decide I can’t go another day without you as my wife, marry you, and somehow you’re the woman who’s offended in all of this.” He looked to the sky. “Save me from the notions of women.”

  Pia fought a smile. “Sirius, I’m serious.”

  Mockingly, he stumbled back. “And I’m not? You’ve no idea how often you made me jealous of my own daughters. You were all smiles while teaching Adalina to make a bowl and then accused me of beating my own dead brother in the hall.”

  That he would recall that at a moment like this touched her heart. She moved close and touched his arm. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Sirius. How callous of me.”

  He placed a hand on her hip and backed her behind a tree and out of sight. “Don’t look at me that way, Lady Gordie. I will seek favors from any pity you show.”

  She laughed anxiously, nervous about what he would do now that they couldn’t be seen and anxious to act on her own. No man had ever driven her so wild with lust. Yet it was more than that. If Pia could glue herself to him, she would.

  He lowered his head to the edge of her scarf and kissed just under her ear. “Lady Gordie, I don’t think I told you how lovely you look today.”

  Yet he had. In front of her parents, he’d forced them to see her in a way she still couldn’t. Her doubts were falling away.

  “Sirius, I’m trying to apologize.”

  He bit her and she laughed again and then again in amazement. Moments ago, she’d thought she’d never smile again. Now, she was laughing.

  And she was falling more and more in love with her husband.

  Sirius lifted his head and then her hand to his lips. He grinned. “I apologize for not telling you. I had no intention of hurting you. I thought meeting Cebele first would be best. I’m just… not used to explaining myself or sharing my secrets.”

  His warm breath, even through her gloves, was melting her. She could only imagine all the secrets he held. “I married you because I wanted to share my life with you, Sirius. Not just my bed.” She hated knowing that another woman knew more about him than she did. Even knowing Cebele had known him longer, Pia needed more.

  Boldly, she leaned forward and brushed her mouth against his.

  He groaned and pressed the full weight of his body against her.

  Pia whispered, “I could have had your body and nothing more if that’s what I wanted.”

  His eyes searched hers. “Are you certain about that? You don’t think I could have held out for everything?”

  She kissed him again. “Don’t forget, you told me to take whatever I wanted or needed from you.” The day she’d walked into his office, he’d spoken about taking her in that very room. Her body had needed him. She’d never felt more whole than when they were joined.

  “Hm,” he said. “You’re right. I was yours since that first carriage ride.”

  M
ore than ever, she wanted to confess her feelings. They sat on the edge of her tongue.

  Her heart swelled. Her thoughts and worries for Lady Cebele began to fade.

  He brought her hand to his heart. “Don’t think I don’t want to tell you everything. I do, it’s just… your aunt and your feelings for her. I would rather share more with you after this situation passes. You’ve run from me once. If you do it again… my secrets affect more than just me, Pia. You have to understand that.”

  “I understand.” There was an entire tree and branches of people that depended on him, yet their situation was not so easily dismissed. It was the possibility of Pia losing her aunt forever.

  And then there was Sirius.

  He would be her husband for life, and Pia needed to decide what kind of marriage she wanted. She liked what they had, even having met Cebele.

  The woman’s presence woke another part of Pia.

  Fear.

  She feared that if it went poorly, he’d turn to other women and her life would be as it had been with Ginter, only worse since she had deep feelings for Sirius while she’d had none for Ginter.

  She loved Sirius.

  She adored the way he was with his girls, the way he protected those in his charge. He was kind and generous and when he made love to her… It took everything for Pia not to cry out just how much her feelings for him had grown.

  Yet, Sirius hadn’t confessed to loving her. It was pointless to be jealous of just Cebele when her husband could have any woman he wanted. He was the most handsome man she’d ever seen. That he’d chosen her, chased her, still made little sense.

  She understood that Cebele wasn’t conventional but then neither was his life.

  Did she want to know more about his life?

  She did.

  But knowing more seemed to mean giving more.

  “You are my husband,” Pia said. “And you’ve shown that you keep your promises. If you do that, if you try and protect my aunt, and continue to keep your vows to me, then I will stand by you.”

  He cupped the back of her neck and molded their mouths together. “If it weren’t so cold,” he whispered.

  Pia smiled.

  “It’s getting too cold,” Sirius said. “Let’s ride a few more times and then go home.”

  “Excellent idea.” Putting her worries to the side, she allowed her husband to take her back to their family to enjoy the day.

  ∫ ∫ ∫

  4 4

  * * *

  “So, how does this work?”

  Sirius stared at Pia on the other side of the lattice wall as she looked around the confessional in the back of the London Collector’s storehouse. Watching her there in the shadows of the other booth, Sirius felt a tightness in his chest, because Pia was out of his physical reach and often he felt that was the case emotionally with his wife.

  She turned and looked nearly right at him. “Sirius? Are you there?”

  “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

  She smiled and his world was once again at peace. “Tell me how this works? It’s so dark in here. I can’t see you.”

  “You’re not supposed to see me,” he said. “But I can see you.”

  Pia’s eyes widened. “You can?” She moved closer to the lattice and lowered her voice. “Truly? How does this work?”

  “It’s the design. The person who sits on this side can see you, but you can’t see them.”

  “Why not?” she asked.

  “Because I represent Van Dero at the moment. I negotiate on his behalf.”

  “But I don’t want you to be Van Dero,” she whispered. “I want you to be my husband.” Then the giggled. “How much of me can you see?”

  Sirius’ eyes followed her hands and immediately, his body hardened. “Pia, stop. We can be interrupted at any time.”

  “Oh.” Her hand fell away and her smile fell.

  Sirius slammed the side of his fist against the wall and it rattled, spooking Pia.

  “What’s going on?”

  He groaned and lowered his head and dug his fingers into the lattice. “I want you so bad right now. I’m nearly willing to tear this room apart to get to you.” Never mind that he’d had her that very morning.

  His wife was so giving. He’d woken that morning and found her in Babbette’s room trying to teach the girl how to tie the perfect bow for her doll’s dress. Then she’d come to him and tied his brain in different knots.

  Just as she was doing now.

  He’d sat in this booth for years. He’d spoken to many women through it. He’d even had some try and work their way out of their debt by tempting him as Pia just did.

  It hadn’t worked. He’d always been professional, but all Pia had to do was glance at him and he forgot himself. He’d brought her here to show her parts of his past. They were going to the bank later, but he decided to start with the darker parts before moving on.

  He’d expected her to be frightened, but somehow, she’d wiggled her radiance into the confines of this baleful place.

  Had she come to him like this for a true matter, asking for forgiveness on a loan or even more money, Sirius would have given her anything. It wasn’t unheard of for a Collector to give leniency on a pretty woman.

  “I’m sorry I ruined the exercise,” she said with laughter in her voice. “Let’s go back.”

  Sirius cleared his throat and then opened his eyes.

  Pia faced forward on her bench. Her expression was calm.

  “Have you anything to confess?” he asked.

  “Nothing other than the fact that I love you.”

  Sirius stilled, yet it felt like the room kept spinning. He stared at Pia and watched her lips twitch with a nervous smile. His brain worked, trying to turn her words into numbers and figures, making efforts to quantify her confession, yet he couldn’t. “Are we… did you say that because we’re playing?”

  She shook her head and then looked over at him. “No, it’s how I feel about you. Sirius. I’m not speaking to the Collector or the duke. I’m talking to you.”

  “No one come in here!” he shouted through the room.

  He heard a door close somewhere in the distance. His men were efficient.

  Sirius was out of his booth and had the curtains to hers flung back a second later.

  He stepped inside and then closed the curtain behind him.

  She stood in confusion. “What are you—?”

  He slammed his mouth over hers. His hands locked on her face. “You must be very quiet.”

  “Why?” she whispered breathlessly.

  “I must get inside you right now. I cannot wait.” His entire body burned with need. “Can you be quiet?”

  Pia bit her tongue and hunger filled her eyes. “I can try.”

  He nodded and then kissed her again.

  ∫ ∫ ∫

  4 5

  * * *

  Sirius wrapped his arms around Pia, and she sank willingly into his hold. As she stared out the window of his old office at the bank, she thought of the hundred times she’d passed on that very street.

  “Had my husband given me access to his accounts, we’d have met before,” she told him.

  Sirius’ arms tightened over her own, locking her in place. She closed her eyes and felt lulled to relax. “It’s probably best that we didn’t. I’d have likely plotted his death in order to have you for myself.”

  Her eyes flashed open. “Sirius!”

  “I’m only jesting,” he chuckled and then sighed at her ear. “Death is a serious thing. There’s no taking it back.”

  “I’m glad to hear that you’re aware of that.” Her stomach fell as she thought about her aunt.

  He leaned against the wall, taking her with him. “I’m always aware of it, as is Van Dero and the rest of the organization. We take the effort to see little blood is shed in general.”

  “That’s good.”

  “But I can’t say I’d have remained silent and suffered watching you live a miserable li
fe while he hurt over and over again,” Sirius said.

  “You would have had to.” She turned in his arms. “It’s good that we didn’t meet until we did.”

  Sirius shook his head but said nothing more. Instead, he ducked and kissed her gently.

  He released her at a soft knock and stepped to the door. “Come in.”

  A young and well-dressed young man came in. He held a book in his hand. His eyes were a striking pure gold and they lit up at the sight of Sirius. “I heard you were here. Do you have time to help me?” His voice was a tad deeper than Pia had been prepared to hear.

  His confidence was striking.

  Sirius crossed his arms. “Is it my help you want, or is it the answers?”

  The boy’s grin was very becoming. “Just your help this time. I’m working on this one equation and…” The boy’s eyes moved to Pia, and he straightened before he closed the book in his hand. “Forgive me.” Then he shook his head and cleared his throat. “I didn’t even say hello.” In his excitement, formalities had flown his mind.

  Pia understood. Sirius did that to her as well.

  Sirius walked over to Pia, grabbed her hand, and brought her forward. “George Newpark, this is my wife Lady Gordie. Pia, this is my former employer Mr. Newpark.”

  George bowed, but his eyes never left her. He simply kept staring at her, or rather staring at her irises.

  Sirius patted his shoulder and George jumped.

  “Sorry,” the boy said. “It’s just, the song and all—”

  Sirius groaned. “Who taught you the song?”

  “Lord Nicholas,” George said. “I sang it to Miriam. She loved it.” His eyes moved to Pia again. “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m very interested in hearing the song again,” Pia said.

  “It’s not that good,” Sirius said. Then to George, he said, “Don’t fret. Lady Pia enchants every man who meets her.”

  George laughed nervously. “Oh, no. It wasn’t that. I’m in love with someone else.” Then he added, “My apologies.”

  Pia laughed. “How old are you, Mr. Newpark?”

  “Fourteen.”

  “So young and already in love?”