It's Just A Skirt

by Matthew Potter

  She sounded almost sincere.

  ‘Ok, you said your bit” I really didn’t want her around. “Now go before she gets back”

  “She who?”

  “What the hell is this?”

  Damn it again.

  Kelly came stomping over, a confused salesman behind her. She looked pissed and for good reason. My overprotective sister was in full force.

  “You” she snapped at Jade. “Get the hell away from him before I call security”

  “Excuse me,” said Jade, confused.

  “You heard me. You made my brother cry yesterday and bitches who make him cry don’t deserve to breathe the same air as him. Now back the step off before I break my foot off in your ass”

  Wow, Kelly was in full force today.

  Jade didn’t know what to do.

  Kelly was clenching her fists, though, getting ready to strike. At this moment the other girls---sensing the distress no doubt---came into the store, looking a bit alarmed.

  “I’ll beat all you Barbies down too,” snapped the little sister from hell.

  She was preparing to lunge too.

  I stood up, putting myself between her and a possible lawsuit.

  “Kel that’s enough,” I said, trying to sound forceful.

  “No, it's not”

  “Yes, it is,” I said, raising my voice a bit. “I’m grateful you got my back but it’s been handled. She apologized, I accepted, it’s over. Now go over there with this nice man and find me some shoes. I’ll be there in a second”

  My sister was still pissed but she did step back.

  “Ok but I’m watching you, Red” she glared then grabbed the salesman, dragging him off before he could measure my feet.

  “Wow,” said Jade.

  “You’ll have to excuse her, I think she was hit in the head with one too many basketballs”

  I tried to joke about it but that could have been really bad.

  There was an awkward chuckle from all of them.

  Then silence.

  The silence which was broken by Quinn of all people.

  “Wait, did she say brother?”

  Damn it Kelly.

  **************

  “Wait so you’re a guy?”

  Quinn again.

  She said it loud enough that the people at the table next to us heard her. Jade glared at her but she didn’t seem to notice. She did smirk a little as if she just won. I’m not sure what she won but I’d deal with it later. Right now I was just glad I finally told them. Not that I’d been keeping it a secret of course but I hated hiding it. I’m sure if would have come out eventually but with me doing the reveal at least it was in a controlled situation. I could only imagine what would have happened if it was months from now and I’d seen them all naked or something.

  “I don’t get it,” said Britney.

  ‘Whats’ not to get dumbo” said Quinn “she has balls and a penis”

  I winced. “Only half correct”

  The girls all looked at me.

  So I told them all the gory details. Just like Cherry when I finished, all of them wanted to give me a hug even Quinn. I waved them off but that didn’t mean they didn’t give me sympathetic smiles. Not only for losing my mother that way but also for losing my you-know-whats as well.

  “So that’s why you’re so small?”

  I nodded.

  “And your body is…” asked Clarissa, pointing to her chest.

  I nodded again.

  Of course, it would all clear up eventually. Especially with the right hormones. But I'd complicated enough for today. They didn't need to know everything.

  “Wow,” said Maddie “that must really suck”

  I shrugged. “I’m dealing with it”

  Quinn seemed to get an epiphany right there. “You’re the little weird boy in the glasses and the sweater” She looked like someone had run over her cat. “I’m so sorry. If I had known...”

  “It's ok,” I said and meant it.

  “No, it's not,” she said, tearing up.

  Then she surprised all of us by giving me a hug.

  Yes, I’d just been hugged by a hot millionairess.

  “So I have a question,” said Britney, who’d been quiet for the last few minutes. “If you’re a boy and you have no you-knows then why are here buying girl clothes”

  I groaned. “It's my sister’s idea. A while back my doctor suggested I should try exploring my options, to see if it fits you know. I haven’t started taking hormones, either kind. She wants me to experience things before I make a decision”

  ‘You get to choose?”

  I shrugged. “I guess so”

  “That’s so awesome!” said Maddie with giddy glee.

  Rachel came over to the table just then. She and Kelly had been sitting a few tables over, giving us our space. Not that my sister liked that of course. I caught sight of her every minute or so, glaring over at us. I loved Kelly too death but she was definitely a little intense at times. Rachel had sensed that as soon as we showed up as a group here. She also sensed that I needed some time alone with my friends. She was nice enough to buy us all food but dragged Kelly off to their own table so we could have privacy to eat it.

  “Everything good over here?”

  “Real good Rach,” I said, smiling.

  “Ok, well if you need me I’ll be right over there”

  She pointed to her table, smiling at me as she did so.

  She wandered back over there.

  ‘So does this mean you’re going to be a girl from now on?” asked Maddie.

  “No,” I said a little too quickly.

  They gave me looks.

  “What I mean is,” I said, recovering from the slip-up. “Is that I’m not really either. I’m not going to choose boy or girl. I’m gonna be me and let others figure it out for themselves. That’s what we’re doing here in the first place. I’m buying clothes to help me shed the weirdo look and embrace who I really am. I actually have you guys to thank for it”

  There was some awws which got us all laughing.

  ‘Can we help?” asked Clarissa.

  And there it was.

  They all gave me these pleading eyes.

  I was trapped and I knew it. If I didn’t let them help now then I’d never hear the end of it. I’m not sure what was worse honestly. Letting Kelly drag me around like a doll or letting these five drag me around in similar fashion. Though at least with them I was pretty certain they wouldn’t get too carried away with things like my sister.

  So, of course, I let them help.

  And of course, the first thing they did was drag me to Claire’s where they had my ears pierced, each of them twice. Then they made me buy several different kinds of earrings. They pitched in stuff too---rings and necklaces and lots of bracelets. They wanted to get me in the hair salon too but I drew the line there. I was trying to fool and blend in not go full blown girl after all. The same went for makeup. They did convince there was nothing wrong with growing my nails out and letting them polish them, though. They wanted to take me back through the shops again but we didn’t have the time.

  My Day Pass was only for a few hours after all.

  In the end, I had to agree to go shopping with them next weekend.

  I think I could live with that.

  ‘So we’re good again?” asked Jade when she finally got me alone.

  The two of us were standing outside the restrooms, the other girls were in there doing well what you do in there.

  I nodded. “We’re good. I’m sorry for overreacting, it was stupid”

  “No, I was stupid. I say things and my mind doesn’t process them until later.”

  We laughed.

  “Though you still haven’t explained what you were doing in that uniform in the first place?” she said, her arms crossed.

  I smiled. “Ask your sister”

  I left it at that. Jade stared at me for a few seconds, confused.

  She didn’t get a chance to
ask anything else because the others came out of the bathroom then. We had to part ways there too. They went with me as I met up with Rachel and Kelly. Kelly was fuming because I left her behind but I had fun with her today too. I told her as much in the car on the way back to school. I think that made her happier because she couldn’t stop talking about my new clothes and what we could do to make people wonder. It was fun listening to her ideas actually.

  It was definitely going to be an interesting day at school come Monday.

  I couldn’t wait.

  8.

  Sunday was a dead day.

  They usually were actually. I skipped the morning mass, as usual, spent most of the day either in my room or the Common Room, reading or playing one of my MMOs. I did make the usual rounds for lunch and dinner, though. I must have missed Jade and the girls though because I never saw them once. Even at evening mass.

  I woke up extra early this morning to get ready for class.

  Saturday after getting back from the mall, Kelly wasn’t done. She was bound and determined to help me blur the lines even more. So after much prodding on her part, I let her “shape” my eyebrows a little bit. According to her, they were pretty girly to begin with she just tweezed away some of it to make them a bit more feminine. She also gave me a crash course make up lesson. I was a little surprised by that actually. Kelly wasn’t actually the girliest of girls so her knowing how to do makeup was shocking. When I told her such she slugged my shoulder and told me Rachel had shown her. After the slugging, she admitted she didn’t do it very often.

  She didn’t do much. She showed me a way to make my eyes pop and my lips glisten.

  I saw what she meant when I looked in the mirror.

  She made me look halfway pretty.

  Now I was sitting in front of the mirror again. I was wearing my new underwear, wondering if I could get away with makeup today. I was already wearing the earrings, two in each ear. Not that I had a choice in the matter. I had to keep the studs and little hoops in for a few days just in case of infection or something. With the eyebrows and the earrings, my face already looked pretty feminine. I also wasn’t wearing my glasses. In fact, Kelly actually took them with her when she left Saturday night. I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore.

  “No more hiding” she had said.

  So here I was now, trying not to hide. Kelly had made me do the makeup a few times myself until I got it right . She said it was how Rachel had taught her. She also told me what I could and could not get away with in school. Apparently the makeup policy here at St. Andrews was pretty strict, only a lip gloss and very minimal eye makeup. Nothing too outlandish and all that.

  Did I want to go that far today?

  I’d already applied the minimalist amount of lip gloss I could muster. My lips only looked a little bit shiny. Now I was holding the eyeliner pencil, wondering if I could safely get away with it. Sure it would make my eyes pop but would it make me look too much like a girl? I mean the whole point of all of this was to blur the lines. Eyeliner and mascara I think were going one step too far.

  A knock on my door interrupted my new routine.

  “One sec” I shouted, quickly hiding my new products.

  I shoved all my makeup in my top drawer then hid the new little makeup mirror I now owned. It was a “loan” from Kelly. She brought it to me yesterday, said I could return it “never”.

  I pulled on my shirt as I went to answer the door.

  The look on Spaz’s face when I opened the door was priceless. Not as surprised as my look, though. I wasn’t expecting him after all.

  His eyes roamed my body for a second before stopping on my face.

  ‘What’s up?” I asked, hoping he’d stop staring.

  “Ummm” his face flushed a bit. “Sorry yeah. I’ve got those pictures from the other night. Frank said to bring them to you to take a look”

  I waved him into my room. He followed a bit reluctantly. He looked around, confused I think.

  “You get your own room?” he asked, surprised.

  I nodded. “I have a medical condition”.

  There was no point lying. In fact, most people knew at least that much.

  ‘Oh sorry” he said, squinting his eyes as he looked at me again. “Anything serious?”

  I shrugged. “Enough to keep me from taking P.E.”

  That’s all I was willing to say. I’d only just met this guy the other day after all. He was a year older than me so we weren’t in the same classes but I’d seen him around. Mostly in the Common Room of course. He was a pretty decent guy as far as I could tell but that didn’t mean I trusted him. The fact that he was a photographer actually made me trust him a little bit less. People with cameras tended to invade privacy and I didn’t like people like that. I did it on accident but he did it when he felt the need to do so.

  “You said you had pictures?”

  He seemed to be lost for a second but snapped to it as soon as I mentioned the pictures.

  “Oh yeah,” he said, holding up a flash drive.

  I logged into my laptop for him then allowed him to take my seat. He brought the pics up a moment or so later. I wasn’t the least bit nervous about letting him put an unknown flash into my computer. I had a pretty wicked security system. My firewall could eat most viruses. Even then it was doubtful Spaz was a master hacker or that he’d even have a reason to hack my files in the first place.

  “What do you think?” he asked, after the page filled with several pics.

  I was a bit surprised to say the least.

  There were a lot of them, many more than I would have thought. Most of them were just of me too, taken from all different angles. Spaz was a decent photographer too.

  He got a little awkward as I scrolled through things.

  “Frank wanted a lot of before shots,” he said, fixing his collar. “Keep scrolling through and you’ll get to the ones we need”

  I did finally.

  They were good too. Spaz seemed to follow my lead because he definitely got the important ones. Me touching Greg’s arm, handing him my phone, him clearly looking like he was putting his number into it then my kiss on his cheek. There were other good shots too. Most of them looked like the two of us were flirting. That was my whole point.

  I did what I was paid to do.

  ‘Looks ok to me” I said, not sure why he had to show them to me anyways.

  ‘Ok good” he said, closing up all the files and taking his flash drive.

  I wish I had time to upload my own little virus to that drive. I didn’t like the way he’d been looking at those pics as he showed them to me. I had a funny inkling what he was going to do in private with them and it kind of repulsed me.

  Instead, though, all I could do was smile and show him the door.

  As he left, he looked back at me and continued to do so as I closed the door.

  I gave a little wave as he left. I had him totally confused.

  First unofficial test successful.

  **************

  “Mr. Torrance,” said a voice from behind me as I walked from third to fourth period.

  I knew that voice well.

  I was actually wondering how long it would take someone in administration to find me. To say I was a bit of a surprise today was an understatement. When I walked into my first class this morning, there were a lot of murmurs. People were either wondering who the new girl was or why she was wearing a boy’s uniform. Those who knew me were wondering why I was wearing makeup. The rest of the room was pretty undecided I think. The teacher never blinked.

  The teachers knew about my condition.

  So did Mr. Downes, the Headmaster.

  The man who was currently calling my name.

  I turned around with a smile.

  “Good morning Headmaster,” I said, trying to sound cheery.

  Mr. Downes was a large man, with a thinning hairline, well-trimmed physique, and beard. Once a minister at a small church out west, he retired from that life to be a
teacher. It didn’t take them long to put him in charge of this place. He was a stern but very fair man. When my siblings and I first came here, he was already well informed about me. He was actually the one who got me in contact with Dr. Hill, my psychologist. Then he helped make sure I was well protected at the school including setting up the private room and making sure I was never registered for P.E.

  ‘Can you please follow me to my office”

  I did as I was asked.

  Neither of us said anything until I was seated.

  I always liked his office. It had this old world look to it. Like one of those offices you’d see if a Sherlock Holmes movie or something. This rustic, grandfatherly place. The walls were lined with bookshelves, there was a globe in the corner. It was clearly designed to look as such but it was still pretty damn cool.

  “Now then,” he said, smiling warmly. “I see you’re finally going to explore your options?”

  I nodded. “Yes, sir. I felt it was time”

  “Very good. Have you talked with Dr. Hill about all of this yet?”

  “No, sir. My next appointment with her is this weekend”

  Dr. Hill and I had been discussing this for a few weeks now. Over the summer when my body really started to develop, she thought it might be a good time to explore. She was concerned that the longer I waited, the harder it would be for me. I knew she was right of course but I didn’t feel like I was ready. We did discuss it, though. She told me she was in contact with the school about it as well. As soon as I was ready to do so, I was to inform the Headmaster.

  I guess this was today.

  “Dr. Hill and I have discussed this at great length actually,” he said, taking a folder out of his top drawer. “We’ve already made some arrangements”

  I stared at the folder. “I thought we made those when I first arrived”

  ‘Those were to keep you safe” he said, clarifying. “These new ones are to protect the interests of everyone involved”