Forgotten & Found: A Dark & Dirty Sinners' MC Boxset

by Serena Akeroyd

  “Maybe I should have fought more—” I rasped, ignoring his explanation, avoiding his apology, focusing instead on how docile I’d been when I was never docile.

  Fight or flight? I’d done neither. I’d just frozen.

  Weak. Goddamn weak.

  “Lily said the guy had guns,” Sin rumbled. “No way you can fight a bullet.”

  My mouth trembled again. “She’s awake?”

  “Yeah, woke up a few hours before you.”

  “He had two. He appeared out of nowhere. I just thought he was someone on the street. Then he had guns in our backs, and I froze up.” I gulped. “I’ve never done that before in my life.”

  “You’re a fighter, but you knew you had something to protect.” He pressed a kiss to my temple. “You did right.”

  “I should have hurt him.”

  “And maybe have been shot?” He shook his head, but his face burrowed deeper into my hair. “Worst case scenario wasn’t you losing the baby, Tiff. Worst case was me losing you.”

  I gulped. “You mean that?”

  “I mean it.” He released a breath. “I never wanted kids, but I wanted this one because the baby was yours. I want you, therefore I want anything that’s yours. Does that make sense?”

  I blinked back tears. “No, but I’m glad you feel that way.”

  He snorted out a soft, sad laugh. “I’ve learned along the way not to want that much, Tiff. I should have figured life would bite me in the ass again.”

  “You can’t think that way—I won’t let you.”

  “We don’t even know who the fucker is,” he whispered in my ear. “I can’t even tell you why he did this to us—”

  “You don’t have to,” I rasped, surprised he was talking about this when it was club business.

  “Yeah. I do. I owe you the truth, and the truth comes with so much shit…” He shook his head.

  I grabbed his hand, knotted our fingers together, and whispered, “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You don’t need to hear this shit now. Fuck, not ever.”

  “Maybe I do. I know you keep stuff to yourself, Sin. Maybe that’s why, sometimes, I never know if this is real or not. I feel like it is, but when I’m at the clubhouse, all this stupid stuff comes into my head, and it’s dumb, so dumb, because I trust you, but maybe you holding back on some stuff makes me think you’re holding back on other things as well.”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “Never said it was,” I admitted rawly. “But you know me. You know everything there is to know, and what you don’t know, you can ask. I kept things from you while you were away, and I regret that. I won’t do it again, and I don’t want you to hold things back from me. Not the things that matter. The things that make you you.”

  “I lived a different life than you,” he whispered. “A completely different life, one you’ll never be able to understand, and I’m ashamed of it. It’s so fucking abnormal in comparison—”

  “What’s normal? Lily was rich, Lily was raped by her father. I was rich, my father was some kind of front for the mafia. He just killed himself. What about that is normal?”

  “I have to go soon,” he rasped, “but I can talk until then.”

  I knew what he meant, and I said, “You can go then with my blessing.” I squeezed his fingers. “Just tell me one thing.”

  And he did.

  It settled on him uneasily, his body was stiff at my side, and I knew opening up was hard for him, but I needed it.

  At that moment, I needed him. The real him. I needed not to feel like there was a wall up between us, something that I’d never be able to cross because he’d never let me in all the way.

  I didn’t want to find out tidbits from his brothers, shit that he should have told me himself.

  I wanted to hear it straight from him.

  “Told you Mom abused me. I ran to the Sinners, but my dad was as much of a deadbeat as she was. I used to fight a lot in school, got a rep for it. Got in with some rough crowds that were basically setting kids against each other.” He released a shaky breath. “Used to win because I knew if I didn’t, I’d have no food. It gave me—” Another breath gusted from him, and he admitted softly, “I have anger issues. One day, I lost. Got beat up real bad. Mom refused to take me to the charity hospital, and the second I was on my feet, I hitchhiked to West Orange.”

  Talk about the Cliff Notes version, but I’d take it. I’d accept anything he had to share and take it for the huge step forward it was. Sure, this topic wasn’t something I wanted to be dealing with now, but hell, it took my mind off the pain I was in, because Christ, everything hurt.

  But two things stuck with me.

  Anger issues?

  Sin?

  I’d never seen him lose his temper ever.

  “Is that why you’re always calm?” He was too. He rarely, if ever, got mad. That was why it was hard for me to accept that he had anger issues.

  “Yeah. I had to teach myself to be that way.”

  When he wasn’t any more forthcoming than usual, I sighed, and questioned, “Who took you in?”

  “Rene. No one knew why. Bear didn’t tell anyone, neither did Grizzly. They just took me in, and that was that.”

  “Who’s Rene?”

  “Rex’s mom.”

  I pressed my hand to his stomach, felt the tension in him that was practically making him vibrate. “You stayed there for a long time?”

  “Until I enlisted.”

  “You didn’t go straight into the club?”

  “No. I Prospected from the start. Got patched in as a brother when I was nineteen, but it wasn’t…” He grunted. “Working with Grizzly was hard. He never told no one I was his kid, but as a Prospect and as a brother, he used to treat me like shit. He was Road Captain, so I had no choice but to take it.

  “Only way out of the MC is death or jail or—”

  “Enlisting?”

  “Yeah. They accept that.” He cleared his throat. “Laws are meant to be broken, you know that.”

  “But they can be patriotic when they choose?”

  He turned into me, and I felt his smile against my temple. “Never said we had to make sense.”

  “Figures, especially considering how many ex-military you have in the club.”

  He shrugged. “Most of the time, they Prospect after they get home. Servicemen…it’s hard. Getting out, then going back into civilian life. MCs, though it might seem crazy, have structure.”

  “Not crazy. There’s a rank and file system. It makes sense.”

  He hummed. “Knew I loved how fucking smart you are.”

  Despite myself, and even though it was a little soggy, I snorted. “He loves me for my brain.”

  “And other things,” he rumbled, warming my heart enough for me to curl onto my side.

  “Thank you for telling me that.”

  “Pretty short story,” he rasped. “There isn’t that much to tell.”

  “I want to know everything and nothing…but only what you want to share. I guess, what I mean is I want you to want to share it with me. Been thinking about Daddy. How much he kept from us. I don’t want that for me.”

  “That makes sense.” He sighed. “Angel, you need to sleep.”

  I squeezed his hand. “Has Mom been?”

  “No.”

  “What the hell is with her right now?” I growled, hurting enough at her absence that my eyes pricked with more tears.

  “Want me to bring her?”

  “No. I don’t want her to be forced to visit.”

  “I’ll see what’s going on with her. After.”

  I nodded, knowing what he meant. “Make them pay?”

  “You didn’t even have to ask, angel.”

  And I knew I didn’t, but a girl had to make sure, didn’t she?

  Sin

  The building stank of piss, blood, and puke. Sadly, those were scents I was used to.

  When I walked inside the bunkhouse that was on the farthest side of th
e compound, away from the clubhouse, away from the others, where Giulia’s twin brothers were staying and where the girls were currently living, and reachable only by ATV or SUV, I dipped my chin to my brothers.

  Link was here, Rex and Nyx too. Steel wasn’t though, but I knew why. He’d already been shoved on a plane to Phnom Penh, and Storm? He was already on his way to Coshocton, as the ‘biker’ had been blamed for the crash, and not this piece of shit on the floor.

  We called this place the Fridge.

  It wasn’t often we used it. Wasn’t often we had the need to use it, but I got the feeling we’d be using it often in the coming weeks. Once Donavan was back on U.S. soil, this was where he’d be brought.

  It was a bare cell with concrete walls and concrete floor with more stains on it than an abattoir.

  Walking over to Link, I grabbed the baseball bat from his hand without asking, well aware that he’d gotten his licks in on Lily’s behalf, then strolled over to the fucker on the ground. Because Link’s wrath? Even Nyx’s? Nothing compared to mine when I was in this mood.

  Kicking him in the belly had him grunting as he curled into a ball.

  “You’ll regret this,” he slurred, staring up at me through bruised and beat up eyes. His face was covered in cuts from his flight through the windshield, and even though he was a mess, it wasn’t enough for me.

  I felt the anger inside me baring its teeth. Christ. I worked hard to keep it under wraps, to keep it controlled. No one who knew me now would even recognize just how angry I could get. Some days, I felt like the fucking Hulk with how it could trigger me, but I worked hard to keep it contained.

  Today was not a day for containment.

  “I’ll regret shit,” I snapped, as I drew my leg back and kicked him hard enough for him to soar off the floor and collide into the wall.

  “He’s Fieri’s third son,” Nyx told me, his tone conversational.

  “Fucker’s been talking, has he?” I retorted, tapping the bat against my leg as I strode over to him.

  “Yeah, thinks his papa will want him back.”

  Tension filled me, and I cut Rex a warning look. “No fucking way.”

  Rex shrugged. “Better for business if he goes home.”

  “Would you let the fucker go home if he killed your baby?”

  Rex’s jaw tightened. “She miscarried?”

  “Yeah. She fucking did.” I’d had my phone off during my vigil at Tiff’s side, mostly because I’d wanted the guilt to eat at me.

  I’d wanted it to tear at my insides, because here and now was where I wanted to pour out my grief.

  The weird thing was, finding out I was going to be a dad had made me surprisingly happy.

  Learning that wasn’t going to happen?

  The pain was unreal.

  I thought it was something inside me being happy at the fact Tiffany was going to be tied to me forever, whether she liked it or not. But I wanted the baby.

  Fucked up that I realized that now when we’d lost him or her, but then, what about my life wasn’t fucked up?

  The thought had me raising the bat overhead and bringing it down against the bastard’s legs.

  When an audible snap ricocheted around the small room, satisfaction flooded me in time with the cunt on the floor howling with pain.

  “We could leverage him,” Link suggested softly.

  “For what?” I snapped. “What the fuck do we want from the Fieris?” I squatted down and grabbed the bastard’s head, shaking him until he had no choice but to focus on me.

  His face was coated in sweat, his eyes sheened with the delirium of agony, but it was nothing compared to the pain inside me. The pain that had sharp teeth that were tearing at my insides for what Tiffany was going through.

  I shouted, “Why the fuck did you come after the women?”

  He didn’t make a peep, but he pissed himself.

  Great.

  “Wanted to deliver Lily to his brother—”

  Link’s words had my head snapping around to face him. “What?”

  “Lily’s contracted to marry Gianni Fieri. They were supposed to be married already, but he got sent down.”

  “And you’re okay with this?” I bit off, gaping at my brother like he’d grown two heads.

  Link’s mouth curved into a snarl, and as he surged forward, Nyx grabbed his shoulder and hauled him back. “The fuck do you think?”

  I gaped at him some more, then demanded, “You let Lily carry on thinking the bastard was going to come after her?”

  “I knew I’d deal with the fucker when he came for her—”

  “Too fucking late. He sent his prick brother after her, and because of that, I’ve lost my fucking kid,” I roared at him, leaping to my feet. No one stopped me when I slammed my fist into Link’s face, not even Nyx, and I figured they knew that was because I’d beat the shit out of anyone who came close.

  I had a rep.

  I knew that.

  It wasn’t often talked about because I liked it that way, but you didn’t grow up scrapping for food without getting good at fighting.

  And good was an understatement.

  I’d boxed for the fucking Marines for a reason. Twice in my life, I’d beaten someone to goddamn death with no other weapons except for the ones attached to my arms, and that was the shit I didn’t want Tiffany to know.

  I didn’t need her to know that side of me, because I kept it under wraps purposely.

  That anger?

  That rage?

  My Mr. Hyde.

  It was why I was called Sin, the reason for which I hadn’t been able to share the story behind my moniker with Tiff.

  Wrath.

  That was me.

  I’d killed my father.

  With my bare hands.

  And I’d do it again.

  Just like I’d kill the cunt on the floor.

  “Padraig.”

  My real name came from Rex’s lips, and it was the only thing that would have stopped me from beating the shit out of Link.

  Head swerving to glower at him, I snarled, “Don’t fucking call me that.”

  Rex just grunted. “Then don’t beat Link to death. We have bigger fish to fry than him being a dumbfuck.” He cut Link a look, who was mopping up his broken nose without any grumbling. “We were always going to be dealing with Fieri, but I was hesitant to make a first move. There are only sixty of us in this chapter, that’s not enough to fight the Famiglia. With our allies at war with them, we can throw ourselves into the battles without the risk of losing everything we’ve fought hard to earn.”

  Link dipped his chin. “I owe the club.”

  “We all do,” Rex rasped, his gaze trained on the broken body on the floor. He studied him for a second, then muttered, “What do we know about this prick?”

  Nyx, leaning back against the wall, stacking his boot against it, stated, “Mav says he’s the third son. The second died of leukemia when he was a kid. The first boy is following in the father’s footsteps, but this one keeps fucking up. Gets sent to rehab a lot—”

  “Another fucking junkie.” Rex grunted. “Great.”

  With a sniff, he turned on his heel and began to walk toward the door. “Take your anger out on him, Sin, but after, that’s it. I want you contained. I wasn’t bullshitting about having bigger fish to fry, and I don’t want you wasting that temper of yours on men who have your back.”

  Before he could leave, I demanded, “What fish need frying?”

  He turned to look over his shoulder at me, and his smirk was pure arrogance. “We have a family to destroy.”

  Satisfaction had me tipping my chin up before I dipped it immediately, telling him silently I agreed with him, that I’d obey.

  When he saw I understood, he stated, “The Prospects on the detail…let Nyx deal with them as his final task as an Enforcer.” His mouth tightened as he shot Nyx a look, and I sensed Rex’s displeasure with his best friend.

  “I’ll make them regret being dumb fucks,” N
yx vowed, and though I heard the gravel in his voice, it wasn’t enough.

  “Do that. And Sin? Remember what I said. Burn off your anger on this shithead, not on brothers. Even if they’re dumb, they’re family.” Before I could agree or disagree, he left, and though I knew he was right, I moved away from my brothers, who all backed up toward the door.

  I wasn’t surprised when they left me with the guy who paid for the stupidity of the Prospects who’d let my woman head out into danger, who suffered for the loss of my child’s life in ways he could never have imagined.

  And me?

  I couldn’t have imagined it either, because the rage that whispered through me?

  It was a thousand times more powerful than that of discovering my father in my wife’s bed.

  A thousand times more powerful than learning Luke Lancaster had drugged my woman.

  He bore the brunt of my rage more than any man ever had.

  Or would ever wish to.

  And he died a sack of sorry shit as he became the third man I tore to shreds with a rage that festered inside me like a gangrenous wound.

  Fifteen

  Tiffany

  “Is it true?”

  The whisper had me jerking awake with a groan, because that was exactly how my head was right now.

  It was dark out, and the room was hit with low lights that made it easy to see, yet it was impossible to peer into the shadows.

  The voice, though, I’d know that anywhere.

  “Mom?”

  “Is it true?”

  “Is what true?” I snapped, then instantly winced as the pain in my head made me clench my eyes closed, but I was annoyed at the cloak-and-dagger arrival. Annoyed at her not coming to see me today. Annoyed at her period for her behavior since Daddy had died.

  “I heard those bikers discussing the Fieris in the garden tonight.” A noise escaped her, and it sounded oddly like a sob, but what was there to cry about?

  “You’re here for that? I lost my baby, Mom. Don’t you care about that?”