Something Complicated (Dirty Southern Secrets Book 1)

by J. L. Leslie

  “Thanks for being a good friend then. I appreciate the warning.”

  Sarcasm drips from my tone as I cross my arms over my chest. He gives me a slight smile and then leaves my room. I don’t know who called Alex a douchebag or why Kaler felt the need to share that info with me, but he doesn’t have the right to warn me off other men when he considers himself off limits.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Kaler

  Normally when my dad sends me to Birmingham to pick up supplies, I enjoy the drive. Willow stays with my family, so I get the day to myself. It’s a good three-hour trip one way. I take my time shopping for the supplies we need that can’t be found in Chapelwood. My dad still doesn’t want to order online. After I get the supplies, I usually stop in somewhere for a good steak and then I drive back, making it a full day event. Today, the time alone in my truck isn’t enjoyable though.

  I keep wondering if I would have a better time if Jenna were with me. What she would be listening to on the radio. If she would want to ride with the windows down and her bare feet on my dash. What snacks she would bring.

  I shouldn’t have warned her about Alex. I could tell she didn’t like it and thought I was being a prick for saying something. Besides, if he hurts her, it’ll give me a good reason for kicking his ass. I haven’t been in a fight since high school, but us Holt boys definitely know how to throwdown and it’s not something you really forget how to do. Just like riding a bike.

  Damn, the last fight I was in was actually about Jenna. Brynn told me Harrison Keeffe had stolen Jenna’s purse at a party we were at. She pretty much demanded that I take care of it. Turns out, Jenna had forgotten her purse in the bathroom, but Harrison toted an ass whoopin’ for Jenna’s mishap. He was so drunk that he didn’t even remember it the next day. Jenna felt awful. Brynn thought it was hilarious.

  “This all for you?” the cashier asks me, and I nod, paying for the supplies.

  I carry everything outside to my truck and pull my phone out of my pocket. I shoot Jenna a text, telling her I saw Harrison last week and he asks if she ever found her purse. I’m bullshitting her, but I can’t help myself. The emoji she sends me makes me laugh. Maybe she isn’t so mad at me after all.

  I drive back with my windows down and country music blaring from my radio. I’m pretty sure that’s how Jenna would have it if she were with me. She’d probably be singing along, slightly off key. At least that’s what I imagine.

  When I get to Kipton’s house to pick up Willow, my mood is somewhat lightened. Mainly because I don’t think Jenna is pissed with me anymore. Now if I can only figure out a way to be around her without destroying our friendship, I’d be doing really good.

  As I approach his door, I hear Willow fussing. Scratch that, she’s pitching a holy fit. I knock and then open the door, not bothering to wait on him to tell me to come inside.

  “Mama!” Willow cries. “Want Mama!”

  Kipton holds her in his arms, doing his best to comfort her. My eyes narrow at him and he gives me an apologetic look. I take Willow from him and she hugs my neck, crying against my shoulder.

  “Kaler ‒”

  “Do not say anything to me right now!” I warn him.

  I grab Willow’s bag and carry her outside. She’s still crying after Brynn as I place her in her carseat and buckle her in. I promise her that I’ll be right back before I run back inside.

  Kipton says my name but I fucking deck him, not giving a shit that he’s my brother. He holds his nose, blood dripping down his hand and wrist as he uses his other hand to push himself back up from the floor.

  “You had no right!” I yell at him. “No fucking right!”

  I don’t have to say anything else to him. He allowed Brynn to see Willow while I was gone today. Probably planned it with her the moment I asked him to babysit. My own damn brother!

  He won’t get the opportunity to pull this shit again. I get to my truck and sigh when I see that Willow has cried herself to sleep. When she wakes up, I’ll have to try to explain why her mama was here and why she didn’t stay. I pray she’ll forget all about her.

  Jenna

  I push my buggy around Ziglar’s Grocery, doing my best to steer it with one hand and hold my phone to my ear with the other. My mama is on the line and I always try not to miss her calls, considering the time difference.

  “Diana said Brynn was just heartbroken having to leave Willow like that. I tell you, I don’t know what came over that child leaving that man to begin with.”

  I grab a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Vanilla and put it in my buggy. I listen to mama go on about how Diana Oakwood knows Brynn is ready to be a mama and how good of a mama she will be. That Kaler should give her a chance. She asks me what I think.

  “I honestly don’t know,” I answer truthfully. “I think her and Kaler really need to sit down and talk and I don’t think she should be using his brother to go behind his back and see Willow. She’s already destroyed Kaler enough. It isn’t right for her to ruin his relationship with Kipton too.”

  The line is quiet for a moment, but then my mama replies, “I know you care about the both of them, but don’t you think your loyalty should be with Brynn?”

  I roll my eyes, unable to help myself. “Hasn’t my loyalty always been with Brynn, Mama? Don’t get me wrong, I will always be her friend and have her back, just sometimes she’s wrong.”

  “Oh sweetie, I never said she was right, but she’s going to need you. This is only going to get harder for her.”

  We change the subject, moving on to discuss the upcoming annual strawberry festival, the children she’s teaching, and how my daddy’s doing. Apparently, he pulled a muscle in his back and had to take a few days off of work. He nearly drove my mama crazy! When we hang up I tell her I love them both and miss them both, like I always do.

  I’m putting my phone into my purse and maneuvering my buggy around the corner to the next aisle when I feel a jolt against my backside. I hear a giggle and then another jolt hits me! I turn around and Willow is pushing a buggy into me, laughing each time it bumps me. Kaler is standing at the shelf, apparently looking for an item and completely oblivious to what Willow is up to.

  “You little rascal!” I tell her and bend down to scoop her up. She squeals in delight and this gains Kaler’s attention. “Did you know your daughter just assaulted me with your buggy?”

  He knows I’m teasing, so he gives me a smile. God, I’ve missed seeing that smile. Willow grins and I realize I’ve missed seeing that smile too. Being in the classroom with her is not the same.

  “How can I make it up to you?” he jokes.

  I choose not to answer because any answer I give will only come out with some sort of sexual innuendo. Then things will be awkward and I don’t want that.

  “It’s okay, my backside is perfectly fine.”

  Shit. I did it anyway.

  “Yes, it is,” Kaler comments, a playful smirk on his face. And he did it too.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Willow,” I tell her and give her a kiss on the cheek.

  I can’t play this game with him. We’re friends. We’re not friends. We’re friends again. We want to be more than friends.

  I’m so damn confused and I honestly don’t like feeling this way. I have a guy who likes me and isn’t afraid to admit that. Better yet, he isn’t afraid for anyone in this town to know it.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Kaler

  I walk through the crowd, Willow on my shoulders, her tutu bunched up around my neck. It’s the annual strawberry festival and the one event in Chapelwood where everyone goes all out. The businesses chip in and sponsor vendors, we have live music, and there’s games for the kids. People from Westmont, Birmingham, and other surrounding cities show up and it’s a good little fundraiser for Chapelwood.

  I approach the vendor my mama is working at and order a cotton candy for Willow. I have no doubt some of it will end up on my ballcap, but I’m good with that. That’s the reason I wore
it anyway.

  “You haven’t made up with your brother yet, have you?” my mama admonishes.

  “Am I supposed to apologize?” I ask her.

  “You did punch him, Kaler.”

  “He went behind my back and allowed Brynn to see my daughter, or did you forget that?”

  My mama props her hands on her hips and gives me a look only she can give. “Did you forget who you were speaking to? I am your mama, boy, and you don’t take that tone with me!”

  “Yes, ma’am, and I mean no disrespect, mama, but if you want me to apologize to Kipton, then you can hang that up. I’m not going to do that.”

  “He’s got his head too far up his ass for that, Mama,” Kipton says, coming up beside me.

  “Ass,” Willow repeats and of all the words for her to say one-hundred percent correctly, it’s a damn curse word.

  Kipton laughs and I bite back a smile, telling Willow not to say that word. Of course, she says it again and even my mama laughs. I walk away from the vendor, unable to be around my brother any longer.

  “I am sorry, Kaler,” he calls out after me. “But I’m not the only one who was wrong!”

  I ignore him and keep walking. I’m not ready to forgive him just yet. We’re brothers, so he knows I will. He can wait it out though. Besides, he thinks I’m wrong and I know I’m not.

  Me and Willow stop at a few more vendors, checking out a few homemade items and sampling some candy. As I suspected, Willow drops a few bits of food onto my ballcap and I reach up and I wipe it off, getting my fingers sticky. I suck my thumb into my mouth and swipe my tongue over it to clean it off.

  “Being a thumbsucker is not a good look for you.”

  I turn around at Jenna’s teasing tone. I want to call her out on that. Tell her I know she’s bullshitting me because her eyes say otherwise. She’s imagining what it would be like if I was sucking on her fingers. If my mouth was on other areas of her body, sucking and licking.

  I push the dirty thoughts from my mind, dropping my thumb from my mouth. I want this fucking woman, there’s no doubt about that, but I can’t have her. Being friends with her or attempting to be friends with her when we both know what we want, is killing me.

  “Canny! Ass!” Willow laughs and Jenna’s eyes grow wide.

  “Candy ass?” she leans in and whispers to me. “Really?”

  “You can thank Kipton for that word. I’m sure she’ll teach it to everyone in your class on Monday.”

  I can’t help myself, I place one hand at the small of her back, my other still firmly gripping Willow. I catch a whiff of her perfume and my dick twitches in my shorts. She reaches up to play with Willow, not stepping away from my touch.

  “So, have the two of you made up yet?” she asks me.

  “We’re working on it,” I let her know, not asking how she knows we’re arguing. The whole town knows by now.

  “There you are, babe.”

  Our moment is interrupted when Alex approaches us carrying a crate of strawberries. At least I don’t have to shake his hand.

  “Hey, yeah, I saw this little one here and had to come say hello to her. You should’ve heard what she called me!”

  He furrows his brow, somewhat confused at our inside joke, but we don’t elaborate. Jenna eases away from me and to Alex’s side. They don’t touch though. Granted, his hands are a little full, but there seems to be distance between them that a crate of strawberries didn’t cause.

  How can life be so unfair? Why does it keep putting what I want right in front of me, taunting me, only to remind me that I can’t have it?

  Jenna

  I’m not supposed to miss the warmth of his touch, am I? I’m not supposed to wonder what him and Willow are up to now that I’ve walked away with Alex. It’s clear that he’s attempting to be my friend. What we agreed to.

  It shouldn’t hurt so much to be someone’s friend though. Shouldn’t be so damn difficult. So painful.

  “Okay, got those put up so my mama should be happy,” Alex says, a genuine smile on his face. “Let’s go check out that band.”

  The sun is setting, and I can hear music coming from the stage area set up behind the vendors. There isn’t a dancefloor but there is a small grassy area designated for dancing.

  Alex takes my hand as we walk and although I don’t know that I’m ready for PDA, I go with it. It would be rude to snatch my hand from his and my grandma raised me not to be that way.

  As we get closer to the music, Alex raises my arm and spins me around, pulling me against him. We start to dance, and I feel myself blushing from all the eyes I know are on me.

  He’s not a bad dancer and I find myself relaxing and laughing as he spins me around and dramatically dips me. There are others dancing, enjoying the lighthearted atmosphere and upbeat country music.

  I rest my arms loosely around Alex’s neck and rock my hips from side to side. His lips brush against my cheek as he talks but my attention is drawn to the daddy and daughter dancing a few feet from us.

  Kaler holds Willow’s arm above her head and smiles adoringly down at her while she does a twirl in her little tutu. He lifts her above his head and then brings her down slowly, kissing her nose. She wriggles and laughs, her small hands cupping his face. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

  “What do you think?” Alex asks me.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” I admit. “I guess I got lost in the music.”

  “I have to go out of town for work next week, but I’ll be back at the end of the week, hopefully by the weekend. I can come by when I get in and we can go do something. Whatever you want.”

  I turn my attention to him, tearing my gaze away from Kaler and Willow, and nod. “Sure, that sounds like fun.”

  He uses his finger to tilt my chin up and lowers his mouth to mine. It’s a quick peck, not a lingering kiss, and when he tugs me closer, I rest my chin on his shoulder. I listen to him hum along to the music while Kaler stares at me, and if I didn’t know better, I would think his eyes were telling me the words he’s not able to say.

  I want to be that guy, Jenna.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Kaler

  One thing you might learn about southern Baptists, is that we love to eat. Any excuse we can find to eat, and we will give it. For example, the strawberry festival is a perfect excuse to give to eat at church the following Sunday, and trust me, southern Baptists know how to cook and how to eat. Hell, we might even enjoy eating more than gossiping.

  “You be sure to save some of that chicken for me,” Mr. Winston says, nudging me with his elbow. “All those young fellas will be in here and they love snatching up all the good stuff.”

  To be sure that he gets all he wants of my mama’s fried chicken, I bypass the dish altogether and opt for the grilled chicken on a platter beside it. I snag a piece of fish as well and put it on Willow’s plate. She’s already sitting at the table with Tauren.

  “Grandpa, are you saying Kaler is not one of those ‘young fellas’ anymore?” Jenna teases, walking past us in the line.

  “Not like those little heathens that don’t respect their elders, he’s not,” Mr. Winston explains. “Those youngens would steal the last piece of chicken and not care if an old man like myself starved to death or not.”

  I glance over my shoulder to speak to her but see that Alex is with her, so I turn back around. After seeing him kiss her at the festival yesterday, I don’t know that I can speak to him in a cordial way. We are in God’s house, so I won’t be disrespectful. My mama taught me if I didn’t have anything nice to say then to keep my mouth shut. I know damn well I don’t have anything nice to say to that asshole.

  “They set up picnic tables outside if you and Willow want to join us,” Jenna offers, her hand grazing against my elbow.

  She has no idea how badly I want her to touch me more than a simple graze against my elbow. I take that back, she does know. We both are very well aware of what we want and we both know how much
we’re denying it.

  “I’m good,” I murmur, taking my half-fixed plate and walking away.

  I make it to Willow and Tauren and my daughter comes over to me, climbing onto my lap. She grabs the piece of fish from her plate and starts munching on it. I opted not to get fish, just in case it didn’t taste as good as the fish Jenna cooked for us.

  “Looks like Jenna’s trying to grow our congregation,” Tauren comments and I roll my eyes.

  “She brings the dude to church one Sunday and you’re already trying to add him as a member?”

  Tauren grins. “You remember that conversation we had the other day? This is why we had it.”

  “Shut up.”

  “I’m going to fix my plate and then I’m eating outside. Too many old folks in here,” Tauren says. “Besides, Pastor Jacobs has been giving me the death stare all morning.”

  “Probably because he knows the impure thoughts you’ve been having about his daughter,” I tell him.

  “I pray to God every night to forgive me for my impure thoughts,” Tauren replies, wiggling his eyebrows. “And my God is a merciful one.”

  I suppose I need to pray for mercy too. Forgiveness and mercy. Because right now I need forgiveness for the horrible things I wish would happen to Alex and mercy for my own impure thoughts about my ex-wife’s best friend.

  “Owside?” Willow asks, gazing up at me. “Go owside?”

  I glance around the room and I am one of the few young adults in the fellowship hall. All the other young adults, teens, and children are outside at the picnic tables. I begrudgingly get up, lowering Willow to her feet so she can walk, and carry our plates outside.

  Jenna and Alex are seated with Tauren and Kipton. I can try to pretend that I didn’t see them, but Jenna waves at me, not giving me that option. I slowly approach, but don’t take a seat. Willow climbs onto the bench and I put her plate in front of her. I’d rather stand.