by Emma Creed
“Me and Skid are just there.” Climbing out of the car, Carly points to a cabin three doors down. Their cabin looks different from all the others. Their porch light shines bright, showing the pretty hanging baskets and pots outside. Skid holds up his hand as he steps inside and I wave him goodnight, grateful for the kindness he’s shown me today.
Carly steps on to the porch of the cabin that I assume belongs to Jessie, and I follow her to the door. She opens it up and stepping inside feels around the wall for the light switch.
“Here we are, home sweet ho…ly shit,” she gasps looking around the room. “My god, they live like animals.” Quickly she starts to pick the clothes up off the floor. Sniffing them and turning up her nose before she pushes them straight inside the washing machine.
“Sorry about this,” she says, looking embarrassed as she gathers up all the empty beer bottles and tosses them into the trash. “Here, take a seat.” She moves a damp towel off the sofa, clearing a space for me to sit down. “I’ll go check the bathroom.” She leaves me with a worried look on her face as she walks towards a room at the back. I take a look around the room. There’s a TV on the wall, a sofa, and chair in the living area. In the open plan kitchen I can’t see the surfaces because it’s covered in dirty dishes and crap, and there’s a table in the middle of the room complete with four chairs, although I doubt from all the food wrappers on the couch that it’s ever used.
I walk to the back of the cabin and open the large French doors, an automatic light clicks to life, and illuminates the beautiful scene in front of me. The cabin has a decked balcony that overlooks a large lake, moonlight reflecting brightly on its surface, and I take it all in with shock. It’s such a peaceful, hidden treasure, the last thing I would expect to find in the confines of an MC club compound. I look either side of the deck, the cabins horseshoe around the lake, all having the same decked area and splendid view. I spot Skid and Carly’s right away. Lit up prettily with twinkling lights, and a swing chair set in the center. Windchimes gently move in the evening breeze. Jessie has a rusty table, and two outdoor chairs, one with the seat torn through, and the small outdoor grill is filled with old cigarette ends. I turn around to go back inside to find Carly watching me from the door, a sad smile on her face.
“You’re gonna be okay, hon.” She holds out her arms, and I go to her because right now she’s the only person I can go to. “They ain't all that bad you know, and if it gets too much, you can always come find me.” She leans back. “I found a box of mac and cheese. Come inside, I’ll rustle it up for you.” She does her best to make boxed mac and cheese sound appealing, and my stomach growls like it would be grateful to receive anything.
I follow her inside, leaving the door open behind me, figuring some fresh air isn’t gonna do this place any harm.
Carly sets to making the food, while I make a start on the massive stack of washing up. We work around each other, chatting as if my best friend hadn’t been shot in front of me just hours ago. I’m grateful for that. I can’t let myself go back there, I’m not ready to deal with that grief just yet.
I finish up the bowl of mac and cheese quickly, then set straight back to making the place habitable. Carly finds me a mop and bucket, and I clean the floors while she takes out the trash and throws some bleach around in the bathroom. We turn the cushions on the sofa, finding some questionable stains, and then flip them right back around again.
Carly has just suggested that we stop for a break when we both hear a truck pull up outside. The engine stops. Footsteps follow, crunching along the gravel at first and then patting across the wood on the porch. My heart beats fast as the front door opens, and Jessie walks in carrying a bag over his shoulders, I cross my fingers that Mom will burst in behind him. Instead, He’s followed by the tall, long-haired guy who’d tried consoling him back at the warehouse.
“What the fuck happened in here? What's that smell?” Long-haired guy, who just so happens to be hot as hell, sniffs at the air.
“It’s what clean smells like, Troj.” Carly places her hands on her hips like a scolding mother. “Seriously guys, this place was a dump.”
“Well ain’t all of us as lucky as Skid, havin’ a hot ass wifey takin’ care of us.” The guy gives her a killer smile, and I can tell by her eye roll that she couldn’t stay mad at him even if she wanted to. “I’m just getting some gear then I’m heading off, gonna be staying in cabin 6 for a while.”
“You get the keys off Prez?” she asks.
“Yeah,” he says, fishing them from his pocket and dangling them out in front of him.
“Toss them here, I’ll go make you up a bed and open it up. Last people to sleep in there were Sasquatch and Bricker. I’ll bet it smells worse in there than this place did.”
“You sure you ain’t holding back a hot younger sister from me?” Troj teases her, his voice full of charm.
“Positive. Not that it would matter, even if I was, ain’t no way in hell I’d let any of you lot near her.” Carly walks towards me. “I’ll leave you to get settled, you know where I am.” She kisses my cheek. “Try and get some sleep.” I notice how she stops and whispers something to Jessie on her way out. I’m desperate to ask Jessie where Mom is. I know he’s been to my house, the bag he has with him is from my wardrobe.
“You okay?” He looks over to me when Carly closes the door behind her. I nod back, almost too scared to ask the question.
“Jessie. Where’s my mom?” I blurt out, and it isn’t a good sign that he looks disappointed as he steps closer to me.
“Your mom left town, darlin’.”
My heart freezes when my head manages to recite his words.
“No… she can’t have. She wouldn’t leave me.” He had to be lying, there’s no way she would just up and leave me.
“It’s okay, I saw her before she left. She was fine, she said it was too dangerous for you if she stayed. She’s in a lot of trouble with the Bastards. She knew they were using you, it was to pay off her debt to them.”
“What debt?” I ask, still struggling to believe him.
“Your tuition, mortgage repayments, she’d been borrowing from them faster than she could pay it back. You were her repayment plan, darlin’.” My hand slams over my mouth, I’m trying to take in what he’s telling me, and all I’m hearing is that this is all my fault. My tuition fees, our house. I would never have applied for college if she hadn’t told me she could afford it.
“But she worked for the man who’s in charge of them.”
“She worked for the club Maddy… Well, she hung out at the club kinda like…”
I hold out my hand for him to stop.
“Please don’t finish that sentence,” I beg. I can’t face hearing it. I’ve always suspected her job wasn’t legal. She never spoke about work with me, and when the guy who’d threatened me had introduced himself as her boss, I knew I’d be ashamed of whatever it was she did.
“I promised your mom I’d take care of you. She packed you a bag,” he changes the subject, placing the holdall on the table. “Nyx picked you both up a pre-pay.” Taking a cell from his pocket he places it on the table next to the holdall. “Your mom’s number is stored inside… Mine too,” he adds that last part a little awkwardly. “I’ve told her to turn hers on at 3pm Sunday afternoon so you can talk.”
“Where is she now?”
“Nyx is taking her to Utah, we got people there who will keep her safe for now. She’s right, if the Bastards think she’s skipped town they’ll assume she’s taken you with her. They’ll stop looking for you for a while at least. Tommy took her car and headed in the opposite direction. He’ll dump it somewhere and hope the news gets back to the Bastards, it’ll throw them off the trail.”
All this seems too much for me to take in at once. First, losing my friend, and now I’m not even sure when I’ll get to see my mom again. Still, at least she’s alive, and I’m safe, for that I have to be grateful.
Troj walks back in the room, flinging a hol
dall over his shoulder, his long hair now tied up roughly on top of his head.
“I’m outta here kids.” He smiles at me and slaps Jessie on the back. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” His eyes slowly roll over me and I feel myself blush as he walks out, closing the door, and leaving us alone.
“Follow me.” Jessie grabs my bag and shows me into the room next to the one Troj just came out of. He turns on the light and throws my bag on the bed before starting to pick up more dirty clothes from the floor.
“This your room?” I ask.
“Yeah. I’ll take Troj’s room. At least I know this bed had fresh sheets yesterday. You should get some sleep it’s been a crazy day. I’ll be out there if you need anything.” He doesn’t give me a chance to say anything back, he just walks out and closes the door behind him.
I check inside my bag; there’s clothes, a toothbrush, and underwear. My laptop too. Everything I’ll need for my stay, however long that might be.
Slipping out of Carly's jeans, I fold them up and hang them over the end of the metal bed frame. I tuck myself in under the sheets, feeling pleased that Jessie chose to give up his room for me when his natural scent comforts me. My head touches the pillow, and I start to unwind. I quickly realize that no amount of comfort will take away my pain. Hayley is gone, forever, and there’s nothing anyone can ever do or say to make that alright. Guilt plants itself in the pit of my stomach and embeds its thick heavy roots, ones that I know I’ll carry with me forever.
I take a bottle from the cupboard and head outside to my deck. Slumping myself on the good chair I look out on the lake that I’d promised Hayley we could swim in this summer. I’m watching the water gently rock when it hits me that we never will take that swim. It’s just another promise I couldn’t see through for her. Like the one to teach her how to ride a motorbike, and how to blow smoke circles. Even though she didn’t smoke, and there was no chance of Prez letting her have a bike. What crippled me most is that I’d failed to keep the most important promise. The one I’d made to her the night her mom died when I told her I’d never let anybody hurt her.
It’s my fault she become friends with Maddy in the first place, they’d been together today because of me. I’m the reason Hayley is dead, and I don’t know if I can let Maddy carry that guilt around for another day.
Prez decided to make Hayley's death legit, he wants Hayley to have a grave we can visit. Grimm took Hayley and rested her somewhere she would easily be found. I called Roswell and explained the situation, and Tommy made the anonymous call from a Prepay to the station to report her body, which was conveniently on Bastard territory. Grimm would have done a thorough job of covering up any traces of moving her. Smart fucker even had the idea to claw her fingernails through one of the dead Bastards wounds before he buried them. Hopefully, the Bastard he chose has previous, and his DNA is already in the system. Me and Prez hated the idea of Hayley's body being out there alone, but it’s the only way that we could bury her with her mama. Being together is what Hayley would have wanted.
I take a long drag of my cigarette, holding in the smoke until it burns my lungs. I’m still furious at myself for losing it with Maddy earlier, what I nearly did makes me feel sick to my stomach. And yet after everything, she’d still let me kiss her… she’d even kissed me back. Now she’s staying here with me, alone. The girl’s a lot braver than I’d given her credit for.
Down in the basement, for a tiny second, I’d convinced myself that she actually wanted me to carry out my threat. That sliding my cock inside her and taking her for myself was what she needed. I’d even imagined hearing disappointment when I walked away and left her tied to the pipe. Like she thought not having me was her punishment, but then I couldn’t blame my head for playing tricks on me, not today.
“So she’s a hacker ‘ay?” a voice comes from the deck next door, and Squealer hangs over the wooden rails that divide our balconies. I wasn’t surprised that he already knew, word spreads around this club faster than Mel spreads her legs.
“Yep,” I nod, taking a swig from the bottle then hold it out to him.
“Skid filled us all in, says she’s under club protection now.” He downs a mouthful before he hands it back over.
“She is, and she’s off limits,” I warn him straight off before he gets any ideas, and the fucker smirks back at me. “I fucking mean it Squeal.”
The way he rolls his eyes tells me he’s clear, though I’m sure there will be times when he’ll require a reminder.
“Having her could be a real bonus for the club.” He relights a joint, taking a toke before passing it over to me, and I take a long slow draw of it.
“That’s why she’s here,” I tell him, tipping back my head and blowing out the smoke, giving it back.
“Whatever ya need to tell yourself, brother,” he sniggers, then shakes his head and pushes himself off the railings. He disappears back into the cabin he shares with his twin, Screwy. I don’t let the fact that he’s called me out on my shit piss me off. This is Squealer, he’s always pissing people off. Besides, he’s only saying what everyone was probably thinking, Maddy would have been better off staying with Carly and Skid, they have a spare room. But I want her close to me. Something inside me seems to want to cling to her, and the way she’d kissed me back earlier gave me a stupid glimmer of hope that I might be able to actually have her.
I just have to be selfish enough to take her.
Today’s events have proven that there’s no tolerance for selfishness, I won’t let Maddy become another victim of it. I can’t have her, not the way I want her anyway. It’s gonna be torture having her so close, but there is no way I’m gonna let her be looked after by anyone else. Hell no, Maddy Summers is mine to protect. Even if that means protecting her from her biggest threat of all.
Me.
I wake up with a sore head and an emptiness in my heart. I get out of bed and head to the kitchen, then search through the cupboards for aspirin and something to eat. We’re never well stocked. I usually have breakfast up at the lodge with Hayley, and Troj gets fed at whatever cabin he ended up in down at the sanctuary.
I manage to find some cereals and some milk, which thankfully I check before pouring on top because it smells like rotten ass. I heave and chuck it straight in the trash. When the bathroom door opens I look up, Maddy steps out wearing just a towel tucked around her chest. Her hair still dripping wet as she rubs at it with a hand towel.
“Hi,” she says shyly, tiptoeing back into her room with an awkward smile. I’m still trying to calm down my cock when my phone vibrates in my pocket.
“Church in a half an hour,” Prez’s voice cracks down the phone before he hangs up. I tuck my cell back inside my pocket and continue searching for something edible. When the door knocks, I could not be more relieved to see Carly standing on the doorstep with two steaming plates. “Bacon and eggs for two,” she says, moving around me to step inside and lay the plates on the table. “So how was her first night?” she asks, rustling her way through the kitchen draws until she finds the one that contains knives and forks.
“Good, I think. She just got out of the shower.”
“Cool, Skid just got the call from Prez, church is in half an hour. You send her round to me when you leave, she shouldn’t be alone after all she’s been through.” I nod in agreement. “I’ll leave you to it. See you later,” she says making her way out the door.
“Hey,” I call after her. “Thanks. For breakfast, and for everything else, she’s gonna need a friend,” I tell her when she turned back around.
“Everyone needs a friend, Jessie.” Carly smiles sadly before she leaves. Minutes later my bedroom door opens and Maddy steps out wearing one of the summer dresses I’d packed from her wardrobe.
Okay, I’d lied, her mom never packed her stuff. I did. But I had promised her mom that I would never tell Maddy about the barely a fuckin’ live state me and Troj had found her in last night. She’d heard from the Bastards that a girl had been kill
ed along with six other club members, and naturally she’d assumed it was Maddy. Marilyn Summers had downed a heavy dose of pills, then finished them off with a bottle of vodka. Lucky for her we found her and managed to get her to the hospital in time.
It was me who had told her to get fuck out of town as fast as possible. The Bastards were a threat, their numbers had built since we had thinned their herd a few years ago and their sister Charter was only a few days ride away.
I need for them to believe Maddy and her mom are long gone, so when retaliation comes for us, they won’t be able to get it through her. Nyx had rung early hours this morning and told me she’d managed to discharge herself from hospital, they were on their way to our sister Charter in Cannonville.
Nyx would be shattered. Me and Troj had left him at the hospital to watch over her and give my instructions when she came round. Apparently, she’d been so relieved that her daughter was safe, she was prepared to do anything to keep it that way. A wise choice on her part because she didn’t really have the choice anyway. I’d set her up with some cash, and Nyx would make sure she got safely to Utah. In time, I’d come up with a plan for the two of them to be together again safely.
“Morning.” I gesture with my head for Maddy to sit opposite me, where the plate of eggs and bacon wait for her.
“Wow, this looks fantastic,” she says, trying her best to be cheery as she shoves a fork full of eggs into her mouth.
“Wish I could take the cred, darlin’. Carly dropped them by. She wants you to call in when you’re done,” I tell her, and she nods eagerly, her mouth full of food.
“So what do you need me to do today?” she asks after she’s swallowed. She seems eager for a distraction, I know how that feels.
“We’re gonna need you to bury Chop's records again, I get that the damage has already been done, but anything you can do to slow the feds down will be appreciated.”