by Emma Creed
It doesn’t take me long to find Tobias Saunders’ file, and it would take even less time for me to delete him altogether. But when his mugshot fills up my screen and I take him in properly something about him makes all the hairs on the back of my neck prickle. His eyes were riddled with evil, looking fit to burst from the pressure of the secrets they hold. I try telling myself that mugshots aren’t designed to get people’s good angle, although that hadn’t been the case with Jessie’s.
Yeah, I’ve checked.
Jessie still looked wickedly beautiful in his, and his offenses had only been minor—well if you call GBH and carrying a firearm minor.
“So, you can really make him disappear with just a click of a button.” I follow the voice up to the cabin deck on my right, it’s been empty since I arrived. Brax moves to sit up on the railings that separate the decks, a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth.
“Brax… I didn’t see you there. You made me jump,” I laugh nervously, pulling my laptop screen down just a touch.
“You should read that file before you delete it,” he tells me, holding in a breath that keeps his lungs filled with smoke, then his eyes crease together as the thick cloud releases from his mouth. “You don’t know how long you’re gonna be sticking around here, and you should ask yourself if that’s the kind of man you wanna to be living in the company of.” He points his head towards my screen.
“He’s part of this club. I thought you all had some unbreakable bro code,” I remind him, curious at his difference of opinion to the others.
“Tobias Saunders has been hiding out behind this club for years. No one here knows who he really is, not even his real brother. How many of them down there do you think have read those offenses?” He draws his teeth back over this thick bottom lip.
“They’ve asked for me to do this for them. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I kinda owe them,” I explain sarcastically, hoping the guy has a sense of humor as well as the ability to make fear tingle at the base of your spine.
“I’m just asking you to take some time out to read that file. If you’re as good as they say you are, you can make that file disappear along with all the people he’s hurt. You should know what you're burying, Maddy.” Brax slides off the railings and steps back inside his cabin. It leaves me conflicted over what I should do next. If I read the file and find out what horrors truly do lie behind those eyes, will my conscience let me wipe his slate clean for him? If I don’t, I’m putting myself at risk. Jessie tells me the club are protecting me and I’m too afraid to doubt him. Clunk made it clear he would kill me if I didn’t do as he asks and that was before the Dirty Souls became involved. If I fail to do what they ask me, these men could turn on me too.
My head aches coming up with all the scenarios. I need time to think. So, without reading it, I leave the file where it is. For now at least. No one apart from Brax knows that I’ve already accessed the file and I get the impression he’ll want to keep the conversation we’ve just had private.
Brax seems to know a lot about Tobias Saunders, and it makes me wonder if he’s shared his concerns with the others. He’s wrong about one thing though, even if I could bury the file again it will never vanish entirely, there will be a paper trail. Whoever made this disappear before had to have been working on the inside.
I shut everything down and decide to go to bed. I hope Jessie comes home tonight, and in a better mood than he left.
Getting into his bed, I snuggle myself into his sheets. Sleeping in his bed makes me feel close to him. He keeps me distanced but I like to pretend two people like us could be together, even in a world like his. It’s with that beautiful delusion that my mind finally stops running circles and I drift off.
Cameron never expected what I had for him, and I’m confident that after what he’s just endured he’ll never work for the Bastards again. I’d chosen well, he was the perfect target for what I needed tonight, he’d even put up a little fight to start with.
Adrenaline is still surging in my blood, I could easily have taken out another name on the list, but instead, I choose to go home to her. She’ll be asleep by now, that makes it a little easier. It’s crazy how sharing space with her can soothe me and fuck me up all at the same time. When she’s sleeping, at least I can enjoy watching her without fucking anything up.
This time of night the club is quiet. Everyone’s either passed out or fucking by now, leaving only the sounds of crickets and the breeze whistling around the trees. I pull up outside my cabin and open the door quietly so not to disturb her. I know I shouldn’t care, I am who I am, but I don’t want Maddy seeing me like this.
It’s surprising how much, when hit in the right spot, a nose can bleed, and the top half of my body is pretty much covered from where Cameron’s exploded all over it. My T-shirt is ripped from where he desperately clawed at me while I held him in a choke hold and warned him what would happen to him if he ever so much as looked at a Bastard ever again.
I could have left it at that, he had the message loud, but I didn’t, it was about more than a list tonight. I was proving who I am, what I do. The more time I spend near Maddy, the more I seem to be forgetting. There’d been a time during the onslaught that I hadn’t been sure If I was gonna stop. All the frustration that had been mounting up for so long became easier to handle when I’d been kicking him in his ribs and bending back his arms until they cracked.
I’d punched the son of a bitch until my hands were tacky with his blood, and luckily for Cameron, that’s when she’d managed to make her way back inside my head. Her pretty, pleading eyes begging with me not to go too far, not to take someone's life just because I couldn’t get a grip on my own emotions. It was Maddy who Cameron had to thank for his life tonight.
It’s dark inside the cabin, and completely silent. I creep my way through to the kitchen and open the fridge searching for a bottle of bud or anything that might help me wind down enough to attempt some sleep. I’m all out, and as I move to swing the door shut, I feel a hand land on my shoulder. Spinning round quick I realize just in time that it’s her and lower the fist I’ve risen.
Fuck, the girl crept up on me in the dark like a fucking panther. Her eyes grow wide and I know the light from the open refrigerator is illuminating the room enough for her to see me. I haven’t seen the state of myself yet, but I know it’ll be bad.
“Jessie, my god, are you okay?” Her hands lift to her mouth with concern when she sees the blood.
"Ain’t mine," I tell her, watching relief I don’t deserve calm the panic from her face.
What reason have I ever given her to give a shit about me?
Her hands move slowly reaching out towards me, but I can’t let her touch me, not like this.
"Don't touch me," I warn, quickly shoving past her making a gasp for air. She remains standing in the kitchen while I storm into the bathroom. Pulling my T-shirt over my head, I stare back at my reflection in the mirror that hangs above the sink. My face has a few splats of blood across it, and there’s a scratch under my eye where Cameron had caught me while I was throttling him. It’s nothing too major, but scary enough to someone like Maddy. Now in brighter light, I can see that my hands are a complete mess. I look down at my scratched up torso and when I look back up again her eyes met mine through the mirror.
"What are you doing?" I manage to soften my tone for her this time, none of this is her fault. Maddy shrugs her shoulders, unable to pull her eyes from the reflection of evil that’s standing right in front of her.
"I just wanted to…” She looks down at her feet like she’s ashamed. “I want to help you," she whispers. I turn around to face her, resting my ass against the sink and I let her see me, all of me. Raw and fucking uncensored. I want her to see what she should be running from, then turn and fucking sprint.
But she doesn’t. She stays, keeping her pretty eyes connected to mine like helpless bait.
"Yeah well, I'm a lot past helping, Maddy. So you’re wasting your time." I do
a shit job of holding back the weakness in my voice. I need her to stop looking at me like that, to crush any hope she has of making something decent out of me.
"Why are you always so hard on yourself?" Her soft whisper has a bitter bite that twists my insides.
"Hard on myself? Maddy do you have any idea what I am? What I do?” She looks back to the floor. “You wanna know whose blood this is?" I hold up my bloody T-shirt in the small space between us before throwing it in to the laundry basket. "He was just a kid, some stupid kid who’s been selling for the Bastards. Some poor fuckin’ kid who wanted to make a few bucks and probably had no idea what he was getting involved in."
"Did you... Is he...” She’s so pure she can’t even say the fuckin’ word.
"Did I kill him?” I say bluntly, watching her flinch. “No... Not him, tonight he got off with a real nasty warning.” I hear the relieved breath leave her lips, but I’m not finished. She has to know the truth. She holds far too much hope for me, and it’s what makes her so hard to resist
“Not all have been that lucky though. I have killed, and I will again. And what's fucked up, Mads, is that there's never been a time that I haven’t really fucking enjoyed it...”
There, it’s out there, there’s no coming back from what I’ve admitted. But at the very least she will see me for what I am. She can move on from whatever she’s been thinking might happen between us and hate me the way I deserve her to. I’m not surprised when she starts chewing on her lip, it’s what she always does when she’s nervous, and finding out you’re living with a murderous psycho would have anyone on edge.
“So… You still reckon I'm this great guy who should forgive himself now? Huh, Maddy?" I push, unable to control the rise in my voice as all the anger I’ve been holding for myself builds higher and higher.
I feel like a cunt when she bites down even harder, her face resembling a child who’s being scolded as her eyes fill with tears that I’ve caused. I feel no relief from telling her, not like I thought I would. Especially knowing what the consequences are. She’s disgusted by me now, and hell if I can blame her for it.
"I didn't think so,” I answer the question for her, unsurprised by her silence. Turning my back on her because I can’t look at the devastation on her face for another second, I twist on the shower. Kick off my trainers, pull off my socks and loosen my belt. Then shuffling the dirty heap aside with my foot, I step under the water.
Warm streams hit my skin and heat my body, and the room fills up with steam. I rinse my face and hair, then turn to let the water slide over my shoulders and back. And when I open my eyes, the sight in front of me nearly knocks me on my ass.
Maddy Summers is standing, naked and flawless in front of me. Pert round breasts topped with beautiful pink nipples. My eyes slide down over her tight stomach and slightly rounded hips, all the way to the tiny well-kept patch of hair that covers her slit. I stand speechless, watching as she steps closer.
She seems oblivious to the fact that I’m covered in someone else's blood, and I watch her hands as they slowly reach out and spread across my chest. I draw in the longest breath when her soft fingertips make contact with my skin, and it feels like they were made for the sole purpose of touching me. I don’t think I could stop them even if I wanted to.
Her face tilts as it moves up towards mine, her tongue trailing itself around her plump lips, it causes all my restraints to disintegrate. I go to her, taking her cheeks in my palms and letting my lips cover over her mouth. I turn our bodies and push her tight against the tiled wall, the warm spray of the shower rains down between us, soaking her unexplored body while she fills my mouth with her tongue. With my hands braced against the wall I kiss her like she belongs to me, her hand lifts up to my face willing me to keep my lips on hers. This, us, is better than any encounter I’ve ever had. Up until her I’ve never had the urge to kiss a woman, but since last week all I’ve thought about is kissing her again. I’ve held myself off for so long now my mouth can’t get enough of her.
“Jessie,” she whispers against my lips, and I pull back just enough to get a look at her. She looks incredible, blonde hair soaked, sticking to her face. Skin flushed and those wide expectant eyes begging me for more. She’s impossible to resist.
“You want me to touch you?” I ask, my body shielding hers from the water. She nods her head back at me slowly. If I didn’t know better I’d say she was being seductive. But Maddy is too innocent to know what she does to a man, let alone use it against him.
Rubbing my lips together I let my pointer finger trace the trail of the water droplets down her flat stomach. Her skin forms goosepimples at my touch and her nipples seem to shrink harder. And as I edge closer to her center she closes her eyes and sucks in a breath.
“You want me to touch you here?” I ask. My finger waiting for permission just above the tiny mound of hair covering her pussy.
“Yes.” Her eyes speak to me so sincerely when she opens them, and slowly the tip of my finger slips inside that warm, enticing slit. Feeling her flesh on my finger makes me hungry to taste her again. This time feels so different to before. This isn’t me interrogating her, this is her defeating me.
My fingertip circles her entrance, teasing and coaxing, and her pleasure coats my fingers. I watch for her reaction when I push one inside her, not too deep, just to the knuckle. Her sharp intake of breath and the way she steadies herself with her arms around my neck makes me fucking desperate to be inside her.
“How about my tongue, you wanna feel my tongue again, darlin’?” I ask, leaning my head forward to press kisses into her neck. Her pussy puckers around my finger giving me her answer.
“Please,” she responds, her hands moving into my hair and grasping.
Moving down her body I leave kisses in my trail, and it’s impossible to pass her tits without taking one in my hand. It looks fucking perfect in my grip, with her tight nub grazing at my palm. I lower my head hungry to taste her, sucking her into my mouth and letting my teeth graze over her nipple.
“Oh my god,” she breathes, as my lips savor her skin and the finger I have between her legs strokes her from the inside. I break away and press kisses over her stomach. Maddy’s body is wound up so tight that it’s practically humming. All this is new to her, and knowing her skin hasn’t been touched by anyone else makes it taste so much sweeter.
When I work my way down to her thighs, I notice she still has a tiny mark from where I cut her in the basement last week. I should feel guilty for it, but I can’t help thinking how good my mark looks on her. When I touch my mouth to it she hums back at me, and when I look up at her she’s watching me. Her bright eyes spilling with desire. She looks like she’s been corrupted by the devil himself and I move my lips from her skin just for a second to smile at her. I hold her eyes, daring her to look away as I slide a slow antagonizing lick up through her pussy lips.
She tastes so sweet and fucking pure it’s hard to believe that this girl nearly ruined my club with her secret talent, that she has the ability to bring a man like me to my knees. Yet she’s oblivious to her power. “Jessie,” she speaks my name again. Her fingers almost dragging the hair from my scalp now. I slip my finger from her pussy so I can take both her wrists in my hand and pin them against the tiles behind her. Then I eat at her pussy like a starved fucking animal.
Her hips thrash, rocking on my face when I find her clit with the tip of my tongue and give it my undivided attention. Her juices coat my mouth, making my cock stretch to the point of pain to feel the inside of her sacred little hole.
“Jessie, something’s happening,” she warns, her bright eyes stretching wide with something that looks a lot like panic. “Jessie, stop it feels like...”
I don’t stop, and when she tries to rip her wrists from the hold I’ve got on them, I tighten my grip.
“Jessie,” she pleads, and I smile wickedly at her with my eyes as one last flick of my tongue sends her over the edge.
Every muscle in her stomach cl
enches as her hot little snatch throbs for me. And I watch her come apart. She breaks the contact of our eyes when she squeezes hers closed. Her face creasing like she’s in pain, but I know the only thing she’s suffering from is pleasure. Pleasure that she received from my tongue. And I decide in this moment that it will only ever be me. I own that fucking look. I own this pussy, and my tongue will be the only one to taste any fucking orgasm that spills from it.
I don’t give her time to come down, releasing her wrists and stalking my way back up her body. She struggles for oxygen, and I take even more away from her when I smash my lips over hers and let her learn for herself how good she tastes on me. She mewls her approval into my mouth.
“Final question, Maddy.”
“You sure like to ask a lot of questions when you got me in a compromising position.” There’s no humor in her voice, just a hint of a smile when I pull back to look at her.
“Do you want me to take it?” I look down to where my cock is dangerously close to her opening. And Jesus, I want her to want to give it to me. Whether that be now or whenever she feels ready.
She nods her head, her eyes fixed on mine, and when her shaking hand reaches between us and wraps around me, I swear to god I almost shoot my load into it.
“I’m scared. I’ve heard it hurts.” She’s stroking me now. I can tell by her fumbling fingers that she’s never held a cock before, and it makes me fucking weak at the knees. “I’ve never wanted something so much that I know will hurt,” she adds, her teeth practically biting through her lip as she watches my cock pull through her fingers.
“I’ve never wanted to not hurt someone so much,” I confess, hooking my finger and lifting her chin so I get a look at those eyes again. “Do you wanna feel me inside you now?” I ask her. It’ll be painful but I can wait if that’s what she wants.