Damaged Amazon

by Kim Pritekel

  He studied her for a long moment, eyes unreadable, that constant little quirk in the corner of his mouth that made him look like he was constantly smirking or he knew something the rest of the world didn’t. “I made us a better family,” he said at last. “I prepared you to be a good mommy to those twins of yours.”

  At the mention of her children, Jill felt a protective hatred consume her. Her lips pursed and her eyes became void of any emotion. She took the phone from her ear, about to hang it up.

  “Jill, wait!”

  She returned the phone to her ear but said nothing.

  “Loyalty,” he said, looking her dead in the eye. “We’ve always been about loyalty. We’re a team, you and me.”

  She met his gaze, and she felt the ten-year-old little girl inside, cringing at that word and all that it meant. “Go to hell, Lawrence.”

  Pushing back in her chair, she dropped the phone, the hard plastic swinging freely and tapping against the leg of the chair she’d vacated. The only other sound was her high heels clicking on the linoleum on her way out of the visiting room.

  She winced at the pain as she literally bit the inside of her cheek to hold back the rising emotion. Hurrying up the staircase, she was passed by two chatting corrections officers in blue who nodded a greeting to her on their way down the way she’d come. Passing through the sally port where she was buzzed through the sliding metal door to the lobby, she gathered her purse from the small cube locker and headed out.

  Her car sped down Highway 50, music blasting as she desperately tried to distract herself from what was threatening to bubble up and overtake her.

  “Not going to cry,” she whispered, shaking her head as a hand came up, fingers angrily swiping at a tear that dare try and escape. “Not going to cry.”

  Like a pot filled with water, forced to stay in a state of flat affect on a cold burner, the heat was slowly rising. Surprising herself, she gripped the steering wheel in both hands, her body lunging backward and forward.

  “Bastard!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. “Fuck you, bastard!”

  Forty-five minutes later, Jill pulled her car into the garage, Andrew immediately opening the door to the house. She didn’t even close the car door before she went into his open arms, her body instantly racked by sobs as he enfolded her into his love and comfort.

  Chapter Thirty-two

  Missing since November of 1992, Judy Schaeffer, wife of Hall of Famer and former NFL star, Lawrence Schaeffer, Sr. has been found murdered beneath the home she once shared with her husband and four children, though it’s come out that the youngest daughter, barely more than a toddler when Judy went missing, was not, in fact, her biological child.

  “You can see Schaeffer in handcuffs as he’s escorted from the courtroom, all smiles as he seems to be attempting to wave to someone in the crowd, sending a thumbs up in that direction. Noticeably missing were Schaeffer’s four children in court today when he accepted an Alford Plea, which essentially states he denies guilt but concedes the prosecution has enough evidence for conviction of the second-degree murder of Judy Schaeffer.

  “Sentencing will take place next month, and Schaeffer will likely end up with a minimum of twenty-five years in prison, a death sentence for the sixty-eight-year-old football star. Many are calling him the OJ Simpson of the new century.

  “We’re told services will be held sometime this week so Judy Schaeffer can finally be laid to rest.

  “Reporting from Pueblo, Colorado, Burton Blinde, CNN.”

  ****

  It was raining that day. Nora would never forget that. Rain in late October wasn’t entirely common, but on that day, the heavens were grieving, too. Even the minister, standing in his religious finery at the front of the church, spoke about it. He said God wept for Judy, wept for her children, wept for twenty-four lost years.

  Nora sat sandwiched in between LJ and Bella. Even Bella cried, cried for a grandmother she’d never known and would never know. It didn’t matter that Nora’s mother was not the biological mother of Shannon, therefore not the biological grandmother of Bella; her mother would have loved them both for her entire life. She had to suppose that she had, Shannon, anyway.

  She stared at the beautiful chestnut coffin that sat at the front of the church, a woman who had stood five feet three inches and weighed one hundred and eleven pounds had been rendered down to a humanoid bundle that weighed less than thirty pounds.

  She felt fresh tears coming, which surprised her. She’d cried more in the past four days than she had in four years. When the body had at last been released to them, her heart had broken. She’d be lying if she said dark thoughts hadn’t entered her mind over the years, but she’d never even whispered them let alone asked anyone what they might think. She had simply created a fantasy in her mind that her mom was happy somewhere, finally free. But then again, she supposed that had been true all along.

  ****

  Andrew waited back at the family limo with the kids, leaving Nora, Jill, Shannon, and LJ alone at the gravesite, the other attendees leaving the cemetery after the minister had spoken a few words and blessings.

  Nora held onto Shannon’s hand as she stared down at the casket, a beautiful bouquet of flowers splayed across it. She could feel the sadness of the three people who stood with her. Though nobody spoke, she could sense their anger, their hurt, their loss because she felt it, too. She and Shannon shared an umbrella as did Jill and LJ, the raindrops splattering down on the black nylon in rhythmic thuds.

  Out of nowhere, song lyrics and a melody about being someone’s one companion broke the silence.

  Nora glanced over at the angelic voice that dared encroach upon the somber day. Shannon’s gaze remained on the casket as she continued to sing “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again,” a song she’d learned so many years ago from The Phantom of the Opera. She watched her sing, getting lost in the voice, lost in the words and their meaning as silent tears slid down her cheeks unchecked. She heard sniffling and knew both Jill and LJ were equally moved.

  At the song’s finish, when Shannon sang the final words about saying goodbye, Nora reached for her and hugged her close. Shannon’s head rested on her shoulder and one by one, Jill and LJ joined them, the four orphans holding each other.

  ****

  Standing at the limo, allowing Jill and Shannon to climb in before him, LJ noticed Nora wasn’t behind him anymore. Looking around, he spotted her headed off to the east. He wondered why until he noticed a black Mustang parked at the curb of the path that meandered its way through the cemetery. Leaning against the passenger-side door, dressed in a women’s-cut black suit and black overcoat, was Sarah.

  As Nora reached her, neither woman seemed to say a word as Sarah gathered Nora in her arms, holding her close, Nora’s umbrella protecting them both. In the hug, Sarah glanced over and met LJ’s gaze. They exchanged a small smile and LJ ducked into the limo. He looked over at Shannon, who held Bella.

  “Why don’t you two stay with us tonight, Shannon?” he suggested softly.

  ****

  The drive to the farmhouse was quiet, Sarah’s hand resting on Nora’s leg the entire time, their fingers entwined. Nora stared straight ahead. The windshield wipers gently slapped back and forth as the rain slowed a bit. She could sense Sarah’s gaze on her from time to time, but she was too lost in her own pain to respond.

  The dirt roads out by the farm were muddy, and Sarah took the corner into Nora’s driveway slow, the splashing and sliding minimal. Somewhere inside Nora felt bad, thinking she’d either give Sarah the money to wash her car or wash it herself once everything dried out.

  Sarah pulled the car to a stop and turned off the ignition. They briefly locked eyes and shared a small smile before climbing out of the car. Nora didn’t bother with her umbrella as they’d be inside soon enough. Seeming to have the same conclusion, Sarah followed as she hurried to the paved path and the kitchen door, using her key to let them in.

  They remained silent as eac
h shrugged out of a damp coat and stepped out of mud-covered shoes. Stepping farther into the kitchen, Nora glanced over her shoulder at Sarah, who lagged behind.

  “Want some coffee?” she managed.

  “Uh, sure. If you’re going to have some.”

  Nora went about getting everything she’d need and setting it on the counter. She grabbed the glass carafe to fill with water before her hands began to tremble as fresh emotion rose.

  “Hey,” Sarah said, coming up behind her and taking the carafe from her before she dropped it into the sink. “Hey.”

  The sobs came quickly, rocking Nora’s entire body. She was turned around and gathered into Sarah’s arms where she cried into her neck. As reality began to come back to her, the feel of strong arms wrapped around her, a warm body pressed to hers, the tears began to slow, her emotions calming. She inhaled Sarah’s perfume.

  Letting out a long breath, she held Sarah tighter to her. Right then, she wanted to feel life, not grieve the death of the past few days. She left a soft kiss on Sarah’s neck before she moved her head away enough to lightly touch soft lips with her own. Sarah said nothing nor did she ask questions as Nora delivered a second kiss, this one lingering.

  Sarah’s hands moved from Norah’s back to her hips, lightly returning her kiss, tears still fresh on her cheeks. She could taste the saltiness spread from her own lips to Sarah’s as the kiss continued, followed by light little touches. Nora’s hands moved up into thick, dark hair that she’d been dreaming about for almost two months. She deepened the kiss as she reached down and gently pushed Sarah’s suit jacket from her shoulders, blindly tossing the garment onto the kitchen table. She needed to feel the warmth of Sarah’s skin through her blouse.

  The kiss deepened and began to heat up. Sarah slowed it down until she gently pulled away. She looked into Nora’s eyes, a question in her own. Nora knew this situation was certainly unorthodox and not exactly the way either of them would have chosen to find each other again. But, she knew in her heart this was what she wanted, what she needed.

  In response to Sarah’s unspoken question, Nora cupped her cheek with her hand and gave her a reassuring smile before she took Sarah’s hand and led her to the stairs and finally to her bedroom. Once there, Nora quickly pulled down the bedding and turned to Sarah, who watched her, uncertainty in her dark eyes.

  Meeting her gaze, Nora slowly unbuttoned her own blouse, allowing the soft material to slide over her shoulders and down her arms only to float to the floor. Sarah took in what was exposed to her then bridged the gap between them, taking Nora in a tender but passionate kiss.

  Moments later, Nora let out a sigh as they lay on the bed, Sarah pressing against her, their clothing left in a heap on the floor. She pushed Sarah to her back and moved on top of her, their kiss slow and exploratory, reaffirming what was found and lost only to be found again.

  She took her time exploring the softness of Sarah’s skin, reveling in the sounds of her whimpers and moans, left heady by the taste of her need. She touched every inch of her, using fingers, lips, and tongue until Sarah cried out, her back arching as Nora held on, refusing to let go until a weak nudge served as a silent reminder to stop.

  Leaving a kiss in pulsing volcanic wetness, she made her way back up Sarah’s body, finding herself engulfed in strong arms, a languid moan escaping Sarah’s throat as they kissed, the taste of their tongues mingling.

  Nora was startled as Sarah suddenly completely reversed their positions. She grinned up at Sarah, who returned it before their kiss continued. She sighed as Sarah cupped one of her breasts, lips moving away from her mouth. Sarah explored her body, leaving a trail of wet, hot kisses along her throat and upper chest until her mouth replaced her hand.

  Nora gasped, her head arching back as two of Sarah’s fingers slid down her body and inside. Sarah left her breast and came back to her mouth, their kiss deep and wet until they were breathing too hard to kiss. Sarah remained with her as Nora got close to release, which hit her hard and fast, overwhelming her as she let out a loud gasp.

  Her eyes slid closed as her body tried to calm, Sarah holding her and murmuring sweet words into her ear and through the kisses she rained down on her face. Nora moved her hands up and cupped Sarah’s face, bringing their lips together for a slow and deep kiss, cementing the connection they’d made.

  Sarah moved on top of Nora, whose legs spread to give her hips room. She pressed her wetness against Nora’s, adjusting her hips until they were pressed intimately together, causing them both to moan into the kiss. Nora buried one of her hands in Sarah’s thick hair while stroking her other hand down a strong back, and she felt the muscles moving beneath the soft skin as Sarah’s hips gently thrust against her, her hands’ final destination an incredibly shapely behind.

  Sarah lowered her upper body so their breasts were pressed together as she continued to move with Nora. Nora knew this wasn’t going to last long as her body was strung tight, ready to explode with each thrust against her. Sarah was right there with her, almost at the peak, her increased breathing and whimpers interrupting their kiss.

  Nora wrapped her arms around Sarah and held her close, their mutual pace increasing, driving them closer to a second release, which was swift and loud, Sarah’s cries buried in Nora’s neck as Nora’s cry echoed in the bedroom around them. She wrapped her legs around Sarah’s hips, enfolding Sarah in all that she felt, hoping Sarah could sense it and understand.

  ****

  As Sarah drove the Mustang into LJ’s neighborhood, Nora held a box of fresh doughnuts on her lap from Schuster’s Banquet Bakery and a piece of mail for LJ, Nora glanced at Sarah. Their fingers were interlaced and rested on Nora’s thigh. Making love with Sarah the night before had certainly been an incredible and profound experience, but waking up wrapped in her arms had healed so much damage caused over a lifetime.

  Seeming to feel Nora’s eyes on her, Sarah met her gaze. The two shared a knowing smile, so much in that one expression before Sarah turned into LJ’s driveway. She pulled the car to a stop and tugged lightly on Nora’s hand to bring her closer. They shared a lingering kiss that ended in a huge smile from Nora.

  “You know,” she whispered against Sarah’s lips, “it’s a good thing you always keep an extra set of clothes packed in your trunk.”

  Sarah chuckled. “Well, as a cop it’s wise, and I think with you, it’ll be a must.”

  Climbing out of the car, Sarah offered to take the doughnuts as Nora led the way up the path to the front porch. She raised her hand to poke the doorbell. Moments later Kristie answered, giving Nora a shit-eating grin.

  “Oh, shut up,” Nora said without the girl saying a word. She gave her a quick hug, and she and Sarah entered the house.

  “Good morning,” LJ called out from the kitchen. “Coffee’s brewing.”

  “That’s good because breakfast is here,” Nora said, hugging LJ then Shannon and Bella. She noticed Bella was dressed in her same dress from the previous day, but Shannon was dressed in a black punk band T-shirt and oversized sweatpants. “Gee, Shannon, I didn’t know you were a Paramore fan,” she said dryly.

  Shannon grinned. “Hey, better than wearing a dress to eat doughnuts. Luckily Kristie and I are fairly close in size.”

  Nora returned her smile and gave her a second hug. “Sorry,” she said into it.

  “Don’t you be. You guys needed some time, anyone could see that.” She pitted her tongue between her teeth for a second. “Hope it was good.”

  Nora blushed deeply and glanced at Sarah who was looking down, a hand to the back of her neck.

  “So,” LJ boomed, changing the subject and clearing the suddenly heavy air. “Doughnuts?”

  “Oh, LJ, as promised over the phone, your mail,” Nora said, handing him the envelope.

  LJ took it, a confused look on his face. “Why would my mail go to your house?” he asked.

  “Dunno,” Nora said, running her finger along the bottom edge of the cardboard lid to break the tape that
held the pastry box closed. “I meant to bring that yesterday, but I forgot.” Nora caught Kristie from the corner of her eye and saw a look of excitement on her face, which made her question what was going on.

  While LJ tore into the envelope, Nora glanced over at Sarah who was already looking at her. It amazed her how comfortable everything felt, having Sarah there, being in LJ’s new home. She wasn’t sure what to expect considering the events of the past few days and burying their mother the previous day, but somehow it was like a weight had been lifted from all of them. There was no sadness in the air, no stress or tension. There was just…love.

  “What the…”

  Nora’s attention returned to LJ, whose eyebrows had drawn as he was reading whatever the letter in his trembling hands said. “I…Oh my God.” He dropped the single page, which floated lazily to land on the cooking island.

  Nora grabbed it and began to read silently, her heart stopping as she gasped.

  “What is it?” Shannon asked from where she was helping Bella split her doughnut in half.

  Nora cleared her throat and began to read aloud. “‘Dear LJ Schaffer. We received and reviewed your manuscript titled, End Game, and we are pleased to inform you we would like to offer you a contract on your novel for publication with DeWitt Books. Please see the proposal below as well as contact information provided. We look forward to adding you to our family of authors. Sincerely, Robin Medford, Publisher DeWitt Books.’” She looked up at him with wide eyes, her mouth hanging open.

  LJ ran a hand through his hair, still trembling. He glanced over at Kristie, who was beaming with tears in her eyes. “Did you do this?” he asked, wonder and shock in his voice.

  “Hey, I knew you never would, so…” she quipped.

  “I don’t know whether to ground you for the rest of your life or give you the biggest goddamn hug ever.”