Oopsie Daisy: A Steamy Romantic Comedy

by Iris Morland

  “I love how you say Rick and Morty. It sounds way too sexy. Rick and Morty shouldn’t be sexy; I’m a little creeped out, honestly.”

  I had a feeling Kate chattered when she was nervous. I placed my hands next to her head, looming over her, before widening her legs with my knees to make room for me.

  “All right?” I said, hovering above her.

  She nodded before taking my face in her hands and drawing me down for a kiss.

  It was as if the kiss ignited another fire within us. Soon we were kissing hard and deeply, my stubble scraping against her cheeks. Teeth clacked; tongues slicked together. Kate’s hands were busy, feeling my chest and sides. When she found a ticklish spot, she laughed and tried to tickle me further.

  “Not happening,” I growled, pinning her to the bed. “Be a good girl and let me have my wicked way with you.”

  “Now you sound hella fucking sexy.”

  I preened under her words. It had been a long time since a woman had told me that. In the recent years, any compliments I’d got were about my research. Clurichaun got more compliments from people who saw him lounging in the living room window.

  I kissed and licked my way down Kate’s torso, stopping to admire her breasts. When I sucked a nipple into my mouth, she gasped and arched in surprise. Once again I wondered how much experience she had. Had no man played with her like this? Had they just stuck their cocks in, pumped a few times, and that was that?

  I kissed the underside of her breast. “You smell like cherries,” I said wonderingly.

  “Oh no, you’ve found out my secret: I rub cherries all over my boobs in the morning just in case.”

  I snorted, tweaking the other nipple. “Don’t be impertinent.”

  “I’d agree if, again, you didn’t sound so sexy.”

  Fine, I’d take the compliment. Besides, I’d have her writhing and screaming soon enough. I parted her thighs, slicking a finger through her pussy. She was already soaking wet, and when my finger just circled her clit, she moaned.

  “How do you touch yourself?” I whispered as I turned her onto her side, her left leg hitched onto my hip. “Tell me.”

  Kate shuddered. “Harder—yes, no, wait—”

  I laughed as I moved my finger around the hood of her clit, not touching the straining bundle of nerves directly. “Here? Like this?”

  “Um.” She let me rub before she took my hand and moved it all of a millimeter. “There. Oh, harder. Yes, like that...”

  Her entire body tightened as I followed her instructions. As she moaned and writhed, I began to rub her clit harder at the same time I sucked on one of those cherry-flavored nipples of hers. Soon the only sounds in the room were her moans and the sound of her juicy pussy. I could feel her dripping onto my hand, and I wanted to taste every drop of her after she came.

  “I’m going to come,” she announced, her expression surprised. “Holy shit.”

  The next second, she came, her entire body shaking. I had to push her leg on my hip down to keep her from rolling away from me. I laughed softly at her continued look of shock.

  “Have you never orgasmed before?” I couldn’t help but ask.

  “No, I have, just not with anyone else doing it.” She sighed languidly. “Well, I’m beat. Good night.”

  I trailed my hand up her torso—the one still wet from her pussy—making sure to circle both of her nipples.

  “I think you really, really needed to come.” I tilted her chin up so she was looking me in the face. Sucking each of my fingers into my mouth, I tasted her tartness. If I wasn’t so desperate to plunge my cock into her I’d eat her out until she screamed.

  “Shit, that’s hot.” Kate took my hand and, to my surprise, tasted herself on my fingers. Her slick, warm tongue made me imagine it on my cock, and Christ, I needed her. Right this minute.

  I rolled from the bed to grab my wallet from my trousers, Kate making a squawk of annoyance. “Are you leaving?” she complained.

  I held up the foil packet. “I’m assuming you don’t have your own box of condoms?”

  “Oh, right. Good idea. I’m not on birth control, plus you could have the clap or something.”

  After I’d rolled the latex onto my cock, I kicked her legs apart and settled between them. “Just what every man wants to hear as he fucks a woman.”

  Kate was about to reply, but when I notched the head of my cock at her entrance and slid inside, her words were swallowed by her moan. Fuck, she was tight. The condom was the only thing keeping me from blowing my load like a teenage boy.

  When Kate grimaced, I stopped. Had I hurt her? She was more than wet enough, but maybe I took things too fast. “All right?”

  She inhaled deeply, then nodded. “Yes. It’s good.” She squinted at me. “Why did you stop?”

  I laughed with a shake of my head. I began to move slowly, watching Kate’s face. Her pupils were blown, her breathing increasing with each thrust. I began to increase the tempo, her pussy somehow getting wetter with each plunge of my cock inside her.

  “You love my cock inside you. I can feel you, soaking it,” I said.

  Kate nodded. “I do love it. I didn’t know if I would.” She raised her hips, her rhythm awkward but her enthusiasm infectious.

  Soon I began to fuck her in earnest, chasing my own orgasm. Kate pulled my head down for a wet, messy kiss. I plunged inside her, over and over, the sound of it only heightening the eroticism of the moment. The headboard bounced against the wall. The people next door surely could hear us, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care if the entire city of Dublin heard us: I was too far gone in the tightest pussy I’d ever experienced, inside this sassy but inexplicably innocent seductress.

  Kate reached down to rub her clit, which made me smile. When her eyes rolled back inside her head, her pussy tightened around my cock at the same time. That was all it took. I came in endless spurts, practically emptying my bollocks inside the condom. It took all of my effort not to collapse on top of her.

  When I pulled off the condom, there was blood on it. At first I assumed she’d started her period, but then I remembered how she’d reacted when I’d first pushed inside her.

  Kate had her eyes closed, lying on her side. “Kate,” I said. “Were you a virgin?”

  Her eyes flew open. She then noticed the bloody condom in my hand and the blood drained from her face.

  My stomach clenched. Why hadn’t she told me? I should’ve been gentler with her. What if I’d really hurt her?

  “I think I deserve an explanation,” I said after I’d got rid of the condom.

  Kate had wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. “Um, does it matter? I was a virgin, now I’m not. It’s not a big deal.”

  I looked at her incredulously. “Of course it’s a big deal! I could’ve injured you.”

  “You know, it’s a bit of a myth that losing your virginity is this whole ordeal. I’m surprised I bled at all. It’s not like I’ve never stuck anything up there before.”

  I just gave her an annoyed look.

  She let out a sigh. “Okay, fine, I should’ve said something. But be honest: would you have slept with me if you’d known?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Well, there’s your answer.”

  I pulled the bedding down and had her get under the blankets, since the single one she had around her shoulders wasn’t nearly thick enough.

  I’d never taken anyone’s virginity before, and I had to admit, I felt a strange mixture of horror and…possessiveness? That made no sense. Kate wasn’t mine, and she hadn’t been mine to claim like some caveman.

  “Why me?” I said into the darkness. The real question I wanted to ask her was how were you still a virgin at twenty-six?

  She shrugged one shoulder. “You’re hot, and you were down to fuck. So here we are.”

  “Your flippancy suggests otherwise.”

  Kate inhaled deeply. “Okay, you want the truth?” She turned to face me. “I’d never let myself get this close to a
guy, but tonight I wanted to do something different. You were right: I needed a man, not a boy.”

  I brushed a few strands of hair from her face. “Then I’m honored you chose me.”

  When she smiled, I couldn’t stop myself from kissing her once again.

  Chapter Eight

  Lochlann

  Present day

  After Kate—no, Ms. Wright, I had to remember that—left, I sat staring at my cold tea in utter consternation.

  She’d got one over me. I had to admit that one. I’d thrown down the gauntlet. She’d taken it up and had promptly shoved it up my arse. So much for getting control of the situation.

  I rubbed my temples, feeling a headache forming. Despite my irritation, I couldn’t help but be impressed. I’d seen flashes of this Kate when we’d hooked up in Ireland, but apparently when she got her back up she was ruthless.

  And fuck me if that wasn’t sexy.

  My cock hardened—all right, it was already hard from our conversation. Memories flooded my mind. I’d tried so hard to tell myself that our fling had been nothing. It had been fun, but it hadn’t affected me—or so I’d told myself.

  Except this girl had haunted my dreams for months now. It was as if she’d infected me with a virus. She was the emotional equivalent of herpes. You could deal with symptoms, but it’d never go away.

  One thing I knew for certain: I had to get her far away from me. I couldn’t be her advisor. I was smart enough to admit to myself that I’d have her on my desk, her jeans around her ankles, and my cock inside that sweet pussy before she’d said, “Good morning, Professor.”

  Rifling through my briefcase, I pulled out the note that Dr. Martin had written her phone number on. And before I could rethink my decision, I called and asked her if we could meet to discuss something in my office within the next three days.

  Dr. Martin asked if we could meet off campus. “It’s easier for me since I live on the east side,” she said. “How about we meet in Capitol Hill? Get that drink finally?”

  If I had to pay for a steak dinner to get Dr. Martin to agree to this, I’d do it. So the next evening, I met up with Dr. Martin at a whiskey bar. Twenty-somethings filled the place, from scarf-wearing hipsters to kids who looked something straight out of an episode of Friends. One girl wore a short plaid skirt with white stockings and a choker around her neck.

  When had I got so fucking old? I grumbled inwardly. I was only thirty-two, for the love of Christ.

  “Lochlann!” Dr. Martin waved at me from a booth in the back. “Hi!”

  I plastered a smile on my face. I needed to be charming. Charismatic. I couldn’t be surly, and I couldn’t demand that Dr. Martin do what I want. Too bad, really. Liam would’ve been better suited for this meeting. He could charm the pants off any woman.

  “I’m so glad you called me,” gushed Dr. Martin. Wearing a bright red dress that outlined her breasts, her hair tumbling down her shoulders, she was a knockout. She smelled like jasmine and sex appeal. When she got up from the booth to give me a friendly hug, I should’ve been elated.

  Except...she did nothing for me. Absolutely nothing. I had to restrain a growl at my own useless libido. A relationship with a fellow professor wasn’t ideal, but it was hardly on the same level as sleeping with a student.

  You didn’t know she was going to be your student. And you’re giving her to Dr. Martin to put this entire thing to rest.

  “I appreciate you meeting with me on such short notice, Dr. Martin,” I said.

  She waved a hand. “Call me Liz. And of course. I’m always happy to help a colleague. You were missed at happy hour this week. We need to get you to come out with all of us.”

  I grunted. It wasn’t that I didn’t like my colleagues, but when socializing drained your energy you had to be circumspect who you spent time with. Besides, I had a few more important things on my plate than drinking with my fellow professors.

  “I wanted to talk to you about a student of mine. Kate Wright. I’d like you to take her on.”

  Dr. Martin—no, Liz, I reminded myself—blinked at me, her blue eyes wide. She then let out a startled laugh. “Well, this is a surprise. You sounded so sure you wanted to work with her the last time we spoke.”

  “Circumstances have changed.”

  I ordered a glass of whiskey for myself; Liz had already ordered before I’d arrived. She stared into the amber liquid, her eyebrows furrowed.

  “I can’t take on an additional student. I’m already at maximum capacity,” she said finally.

  “We can trade students.”

  Liz wrinkled her nose. “And force one of mine to start over with a new advisor?”

  “The quarter hasn’t even started yet.”

  “Of course, but that hardly seems fair. Besides, Kate’s research is so close to yours that it wouldn’t make much sense for me to advise her. As you said to me, if I remember correctly.”

  My jaw was clenched, and I forced myself to relax. I couldn’t show how important this was to me. Not just important: absolutely crucial. If I had to continue to advise Kate, I knew in my gut that my entire career, my work visa, everything, would be utterly fucked.

  “I did say that, but I believe Kate would work better with a female professor.” I cleared my throat, feeling like a total sod for lying as I explained, “She doesn’t much care for what I have to say. She essentially hinted that she didn’t much trust male professors.”

  “Well, considering all of the misogyny that’s rampant in STEM...” Liz sipped her whiskey. “But are you saying that you’ve done something inappropriate for her to feel like this?”

  My stomach tightened. I couldn’t tell based on Liz’s expression if she was just curious or truly suspicious.

  “Nothing’s happened. Kate simply prefers female guidance, that’s all. I thought I’d accommodate that need as best I could.”

  “So you’re just going to pawn her off on me while upending another student’s schedule and research? That hardly seems fair.”

  Dammit, I couldn’t disagree with her. I thought hurriedly, trying to come up with some reasoning to convince Liz to trade students with me.

  “I’d prefer to speak to Kate directly,” added Liz, “to see how she feels about this. This is her career—not yours.”

  You have no fucking idea.

  “I wanted to see how you’d feel about it first. I’ve already spoken to Kate about it.” Lies, lies, lies.

  Liz pushed her hair over her shoulder, trailing her fingers through the blonde strands. “I guess I’m not entirely certain what I’d get out of this,” she said calmly, her blue eyes no longer flirtatious. “This seems like a shitty deal for me.”

  “Because we both have the same goals: to teach our students the best ways we can.”

  “Yes, but this seems like you’re trying to get rid of a problem, Dr. Gallagher. Why is that?” Her red lips turned upwards into a smile. “Why give me one of the brightest students of the incoming class? Are you truly that altruistic?”

  “This is about making Kate comfortable: nothing else. That should be something you’d automatically support.”

  I could see that that arrow had hit its mark. Liz’s smile dampened, and her eyes flashed fire. “If you agree to something I want, I’ll consider your proposal.”

  My knuckles turned white around my whiskey glass. “So a quid pro quo arrangement?”

  “Exactly.” Liz leaned towards me, her cleavage once again on display. “Tell me the exact reason why you want me to take Kate on as a student. That’s my condition.”

  “Considering I already did that, I don’t know how else to get you to agree.”

  She sighed. “Then I guess you’ll just have to suffer.” Liz tipped back the rest of her whiskey and stood up. “A little tip for you: when you want to make a deal, you should make sure it’s worth something to both parties. Not just for you.”

  I scowled at her. “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, my voice laced with sarcasm.

  I
wasn’t one to threaten women—or anyone, for that matter—but the smug expression on her face rankled to the point that I stopped her from leaving to say, “I don’t know what your game is, but whatever it is you aren’t going to succeed.”

  “How many times has a man told me that in my life?” She patted my forearm. “Keep telling yourself that at night, if it makes you feel better.”

  “I’m not the one trying to blackmail a colleague.”

  “Blackmail? That’s a harsh word. I was looking for a deal that benefits us both. Nothing wrong with that, is there?”

  I took a deep breath and said in a low voice, “What do you want?”

  Liz considered me, her head cocked to the side. “You really are desperate, aren’t you? How about this: I’ll take on Kate and give you one of my students. In exchange, I want details of your research.”

  I reared back. I’d been convinced she’d simply wanted me to take her out on a date. “You want credit for my work? No fucking way.”

  “Not credit so much as information.”

  I looked at her more closely, racking my brain. I remembered hearing someone in the department say that Liz was up for tenure this year, but did she have the research credentials to get it? Had she shown the university they should offer her tenure? Based on this conversation, she felt like she was on thin ice and would do anything to get off it.

  “I’ll think about it,” I said finally, hating myself for even saying those words.

  “Excellent. Call me when you make up your mind, but you should know: I won’t be waiting forever.”

  After Liz left, I sat in the booth and stewed. Somehow the answer to my problems had only worsened the problem, and now this hole I’d dug was only getting deeper. I ordered another glass of whiskey, downing it in almost one gulp. The liquor burned my throat and gut, but it was better than feeling this expanding anxiety.

  My only consolation was that both Liz and I wanted something enough that we had leverage over the other person. That would give us both a reason to keep our mouths shut—for now.