Oopsie Daisy: A Steamy Romantic Comedy

by Iris Morland

  Kate

  What did a girl wear when meeting her baby daddy at his apartment a week after he found out she was pregnant?

  A. Sweats and an oversized, stained hoodie, so he couldn’t think I wanted him to find me attractive in the slightest

  B. Jeans and a t-shirt that had sexy potential but didn’t scream BANG ME INTO NEXT TUESDAY

  C. A short skirt and tight sweater that basically advertised my legs and how easily they could wrap around his waist

  I decided on B after much thought and feedback from Naoko, who eventually told me I wasn’t going there for a hookup, anyway.

  “You realize if you sleep with him again, you’ll be in even more hot water,” she said logically.

  “I mean, yes, but the cat’s already out of the bag on this one. We might as well enjoy the one benefit we have in this whole thing.” I poked at my abdomen. The bump was definitely growing, but it wasn’t noticeable unless I was naked. Even then, it looked more like a food baby, not a baby baby.

  “Remember, Kate: WWND?”

  I rolled my eyes. What Would Naoko Do, because Naoko never did stupid things like I did. “You saw him. You’d bang him, too,” I said defensively.

  “I think your hormones have poisoned your brain. Because there’s no way even you would be that stupid.”

  Fine, she had a point. I couldn’t really have sex with Lochlann again. It would be the height of stupidity. It would go on record of stupidest thing ever. I’d get a medal that read Biggest Moron on it in the mail.

  This was what I told myself, even as I waited for Lochlann to open his apartment door. When he did, wearing jeans and a polo shirt, his feet bare, I felt like I was intruding on him. It didn’t help that I could see his chest hair, or that he had scruff on his cheeks.

  Lochlann looked over my shoulder before ushering me inside. “Did anyone see you?”

  I stared at him. “Uh, not that I know of. Why? Are you on some secret spy mission now?”

  He gave me an exasperated look. “You and I both know that if you were seen at my flat, this would end badly.”

  I heard a meow at my feet; a fluffy orange cat weaved around my ankles. I reached down to stroke its head.

  “You have a cat?” I said, rather inanely.

  “That’s Clurichaun.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It’s an Irish sprite that drinks too much.”

  I laughed. When I bent down, Clurichaun put his paws on my knee, demanding that I continue to pet him.

  For some reason, I was surprised that Lochlann had a cat. He seemed like the type of person to have an aversion to animals. Or worse, an entire collection of pet rocks.

  “What a lover,” I said. “He’s adorable.”

  “He’s very flirty with women, I’ll say that.”

  I picked up the cat, enjoying the rumbling of his purr. “My sister Dani has a cat, but he’s not as nice as yours. I would’ve thought you’d have a grumpy, antisocial cat.”

  Lochlann raised a single dark brow. “Why? Are you saying I’m grumpy and antisocial?”

  “Noooooooo. Of course not.” Except I was smiling as I said the words, and not doing a good job of hiding it.

  “You’re a pain in my arse, that’s for sure.” Lochlann motioned to the futon in the living room . “Go sit down. Do you want something to drink?”

  “Nope, but thank you.” I set Clurichaun down, mostly so I could look around Lochlann’s place. There wasn’t much to see, honestly: just a futon, a coffee table that had seen better days, and a bookshelf in the corner. A vining plant sat in the window. If Dani were here, she’d be able to identify which plant it was. Me, though? I’d always had a black thumb, despite my family’s propensity for gardening.

  I’d always done better with the stuff you could light on fire. They were more fun, anyway.

  I sat down on the futon, realizing a moment later that this was also Lochlann’s bed. A shiver went through me. Naoko’s voice inside my head admonished me, though. WWND? She would not have sex with her graduate advisor on his futon. Combined with my uh-oh voice, I was thoroughly chastised.

  Honestly, if anyone knew how many voices I had in my head I’d probably be committed.

  Clurichaun got up and settled on my lap, as if we’d been friends for ages. When Lochlann returned with two bottles of water and a box of crackers, he paused, as if he’d forgotten I were here.

  He cleared his throat. “I thought maybe you’d be hungry. I know you said you didn’t want anything to drink, but you need to stay hydrated.” He handed me one of the bottles of water before sitting down next to me. He put enough space between us that I’d have to reach out to touch his thigh.

  So much for coming here to seduce. We were apparently just going to sit in silence as we munched on crackers and stared at the wall. Awesome.

  It was stupid, but I felt...rejected. Yes, I know, it was stupid. Had I really thought Lochlann would put a hand on my leg, say something sexy, before pushing his futon down to make it into a bed so he could fuck me senseless?

  The sad thing was the answer was almost yes.

  “I apologize for the state of my flat,” said Lochlann, breaking the awkward silence. “I haven’t had time to furnish it, what with starting this new position and now this.” He gestured toward me.

  “I mean, you don’t have cockroaches running around, so I’d say it’s a step up from most college apartments around here.”

  Lochlann chuckled. “Don’t remind me. When I was your age, I lived in a flat with five other guys, and none of us thought it was important to clean. It got to the point that the landlady threatened to evict us because it smelled like something had died.”

  “You’re really giving me some great reasons to trust you with this baby,” I joked.

  Lochlann’s smile faded. “That’s something I wanted to discuss with you: your health and that of the baby’s. Have you chosen a physician? Do you know where you’re going to give birth?”

  “Um, in a hospital?” Was there any other place to have a baby?

  “More women give birth at home, if the pregnancy is normal and healthy.”

  I made a face. “Okay, for one, whose home would this birth be taking place? Because I live in a tiny apartment with Naoko, who I doubt would enjoy seeing me push a baby out of my vagina. And your place isn’t exactly ideal, either.”

  “I plan to furnish this place, make it into a real home. But regardless, this is something you need to think about, especially after your visit to the hospital.”

  I squirmed a little, embarrassed. “I don’t go to the ER all that often. Actually, I’ve only been there once, and that was when I was five and broke my arm after stealing my friend’s stuffed animal. I climbed on top of one of those Playhouse things and fell onto the concrete.”

  “That sounds like something you would do. I’m just surprised it was when you were five, not twenty.”

  “Okay, rude.” I tried to elbow him, but he wasn’t quite close enough, so I ended up almost falling onto Clurichaun. Lochlann laughed, helping me sit back up.

  “My point still stands,” he said. “You need to be watched over. You can’t just live with a roommate.”

  I bristled. “Naoko is my best friend.”

  “You misunderstand me. She seems like a lovely girl, but what happens if you faint and you’re by yourself? What happens when you’re near the end of your pregnancy and can’t walk up and down stairs like you used to? Things like that.”

  He had a point. I didn’t want things to change, but obviously they were going to. Time to face the music, Kate.

  “So, am I moving in with you?” I said, jokingly. “Not sure that’d be a great way to keep this a secret.”

  “Obviously that wouldn’t work. No, you’ll move into the flat down the hall from me. Its tenant just moved and it’s empty at the moment. I took the time to inquire with the landlord and already put a deposit down. You can move in within the next few days.”

  I stared a
t him, wondering if he was just messing with me. Had he seriously gotten me an apartment without consulting me? Like I was too stupid to make my own decisions?

  “I don’t want to move,” I said, “and besides, that’d put Naoko in a major bind. She’d have to find a new roommate quickly, and I hate the thought that she’d end up with some creep because I bailed on her.”

  “Her boyfriend can’t move in with her?”

  I scowled. “No, he has his own place with roommates and her family would kill her if she lived with him.” I waved a hand, annoyed. “That’s not the point. The point is that I don’t need you taking control of my entire life. Just because you knocked me up doesn’t mean you get to tell me what to do.”

  Lochlann just folded his arms across his chest. “Considering that you got yourself in the ER, I don’t think it’s out of the bounds of reason to take control of the situation.”

  I growled, which startled Clurichaun. He jumped down from the futon and gave me a dirty look.

  “I am not a situation,” I said, pointing my finger in Lochlann’s face. “I am not your dirty little secret, either. Just because you happen to be older than me does not mean you’re smarter, or wiser, or know more shit than me. You know as much about having a baby as I do: aka, none. Unless you have a bunch of other kids you’ve failed to mention?”

  “As far as I’m aware, no, I haven’t fathered any more children.”

  “Oh, well, that’s a relief. At least I’ll get all of the child support.” My voice dripped with sarcasm.

  “You’re just being stubborn to prove a point. You know as well as I that you moving close to me will be ideal, especially once the baby is here. Are you going raise him or her where you live now? With no help? Have you even told your family that you’re pregnant?”

  I hated how right he was. I hated that he was tearing my stubborn refusal down, brick by brick. “I haven’t figured out how to tell them yet,” I hedged.

  “So were you ever going to tell anyone? Were you just going to give birth and drop the baby off at the nearest fire station?”

  I gasped. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

  “Completely serious.”

  I’d never been the type of person to be violent, but in that moment, I wanted to shake Lochlann. Or punch him in the face.

  I might’ve been thinking of this baby as my little parasite, but the mere thought of abandoning him or her made me want to burst into tears. I touched my abdomen, as if I could shield the fetus inside me from the words being thrown around outside the womb. Protectiveness that I hadn’t felt before filled me.

  “I might be impulsive and I might be young,” I said, my voice just barely steady, “but I’m not heartless. If anyone’s heartless, it’s you for saying something like that to me.” My voice wobbled on the last sentence, and I hated myself for showing weakness in this moment.

  When I wiped away a few tears, I heard Lochlann inhale. He cringed. “I’m sorry,” he said in a low voice. “That was a shite thing to say.”

  I sniffled. “It was. You’re a dickwad.”

  He moved toward me and wrapped an arm around my waist. I stiffened, resisting the comfort he was offering, but when he started to rub my back, I melted like a popsicle under the summer sun. I was pretty much putty in this man’s hands.

  “I know you aren’t heartless,” he continued, continuing to stroke my back. “I shouldn’t have insinuated as much. I’m just worried that because you’re so young that you’d get overwhelmed. It’s not completely unthinkable, and what with the lying and the secretiveness, it’s hard to believe you really want to keep this baby.” His hand stilled. “You do want to keep it, right? Christ, I should’ve asked. I assumed. Stupid of me.”

  “No, I mean, I do want to keep it.” I leaned my head back to look Lochlann in the eye. “I don’t know why, exactly. The timing is terrible. I’m too young; we can’t even tell anyone about our relationship. I’ll have to keep who the father is hidden from my family. It’s insane, and yet...” I shrugged and touched my belly. “I’m already attached to the thing. It makes no sense, but that’s the truth.”

  Lochlann covered my hand with his. In that moment, I could almost imagine we could become a family together. That we could raise this baby and be with each other—love each other, even.

  It was crazy, ridiculous. Unthinkable. That hope was dangerous, and yet I clung to it anyway.

  “How are we going to do this?” I whispered.

  Lochlann’s hand on my lower back moved upward until he cupped the back of my neck. “I have no fucking idea,” he admitted before he leaned down to kiss me.

  It felt like coming home. It felt like everything coming together into perfect harmony. Most of all, it felt good. I kissed him back, deepening the kiss, and he groaned. His fingers tangled in my hair. Desire immediately roared inside of me.

  He’d awakened something inside me that night we’d slept together. Not just for sex—but for this connection. This foundation we’d created together without even knowing it.

  “Kate,” he said heavily, kissing down my throat. “Why can’t I leave you alone?”

  “I’m just that irresistible,” I joked.

  He sucked on my neck, long enough that I knew he’d give me a hickey. I loved it. I wanted to wear his mark, which was totally messed up. As his lips moved downward, leaving wet kisses in their wake, I felt like I was about to come out of my skin.

  “I lied that day. When I said I’d forgotten you,” said Lochlann. He was pulling at my t-shirt, and soon it was flung away from me. “I haven’t stopped thinking about that night, and when I saw you in my office, it was like a dream and a nightmare come true.”

  “Thank you? I think.”

  He chuckled before running a hand under my camisole to one of my breasts. “The way you moan my name, how wet you get for me. How tight your pussy was around my cock. I would jerk off thinking about it. Did you know my fingers smelled like your pussy for hours afterward? That I couldn’t get the smell of your arousal off of my skin?”

  I shivered, and I shivered harder when he lightly pinched one of my sensitive nipples. “I should be grossed out but I’m not. That’s fucking hot.”

  He reached inside my bra, his fingers warm and lightly callused, and when he flicked a nipple with his nail I almost shot out of my skin. Ever since he’d knocked me up, my breasts had gotten extra sensitive, almost to the point of it being painful. Right now, it felt amazing and almost too much. When he began to kiss me and play with my breasts at the same time, I pretty much flooded my panties.

  Yeah, I was pretty much a fountain for him. I would’ve been embarrassed if I weren’t so damn horny and desperate.

  Lochlann soon took off my camisole and unhooked my bra. He cupped one breast, letting the weight drop into his hand.

  “Are they bigger or am I imagining things?” he said, caressing the underside.

  I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning like a crazy person. “Pregnancy apparently does that to you.”

  He watched my face as he fondled me. “Either you’re into this or desperate for me to stop.”

  “Can I be both?” I hissed when he rolled my nipple between his fingers. “They’re just really sensitive.”

  “Ah.” He leaned down and licked one nipple and then the other before blowing on them. The cool air almost made me jump out of my skin.

  “Do that again,” I said.

  He laughed and did as I asked, playing with my breasts until I was about to climb him like the sexy Irish tree that he was. I’d never thought of myself as a sex kitten—I’d been too into science and terrifying boys—but right then I felt like a total seductress. Based on the tent in Lochlann’s pants, I was definitely succeeding at this new role.

  Lochlann kissed me as he pushed a hand down the back of my jeans. He squeezed my ass. “Are you wet for me already?” he rumbled. He didn’t wait for me to reply, but instead trailed a finger down my crack until he reached my sopping wet pussy. I groaned w
hen he rubbed a finger through the folds.

  “Damn, you’re dripping.” He nipped my bottom lip. “Were you wet when I opened the door? Desperate for me to touch you?”

  I could barely speak as he played with my pussy. His strokes were light, teasing, edging me but not giving me the satisfaction I sought.

  “Tell me, Kate,” he growled in my ear. “Tell me how much you want me to fuck you.”

  His thumb began to rub my clit. “I want you to fuck me so bad,” I confessed.

  “I thought so. But you’re not getting fucked today.” He circled my clit again. “But if you want me to make you come, you’re going to have to beg.”

  “You’re a dick.”

  Lochlann pulled his hand from my jeans, his fingers glistening. “If you want me to stop—”

  I unzipped my jeans and yanked them and my panties down my legs in record time before clambering into his lap. How had I ended up naked with him fully dressed? Well, it was hot, I had to admit it. Especially when he squeezed my ass again and kissed me deeply.

  “You want me to make you come?” He hadn’t returned to my pussy, which only ratcheted my desire higher. Damn, he was such a tease and I fucking loved it.

  “Yes, please.” I even batted my lashes for effect.

  He smiled, but it was a devious smile. He widened my legs over his lap before playing with me again. The sound of my wet pussy combined with the thrust of his tongue into my mouth made me tremble. I was just on the edge. Pleasure coiled in my belly when he began to rub my clit with the pressure I needed.

  “Yes, yes, just like that,” I gasped. “Oh God—harder.”

  “Like this?”

  My eyes rolled back inside my head. The combination of his kisses and his agile fingers made me shoot off like a rocket. I came with a loud groan, shaking in his arms. He kissed me and said something in Irish. His touch gentled, but he didn’t stop gently petting me as I came down from my orgasm.

  “Oh my God,” I said finally, still shivering. “I needed that.”

  He kissed me, but as I climbed off his lap I could feel the air change. His expression closed as I dressed.