Lilith's Amulet

by Elizabeth Blake

  Nhang had superb vision and innate curiosity, so much so that Lilith felt blind and dumb in comparison.

  Decades earlier, when Lilith had grabbed her daughter off a bluff and rushed her away from the first flare of daylight, Lilith had been shaking like a leaf, clutching Nhang tight, terrified she’d disintegrate into a pile of ash. Then Lilith had shaken Nhang, ranted and raved, spat and stomped and even slapped her. Because that's how love behaved sometimes, when it was scared to death.

  She’d forgotten to ask what Nhang had been doing up there in the first place. And Nhang had said, Now I know how many there are, Mother.

  “How many what?” Lilith had said, watching her daughter examine the ceiling of the cave as if seeing the face of God.

  Stars, Nhang had replied.

  Except now, despite having eyes that could see heaven, Nhang couldn't spot traitors at her side.

  “Stupid girl,” Lilith said.

  Why didn't I ask her how many she saw?

  While she agonized over how her soon-to-be-dead daughter had numbered the stars, Haniel appeared at her elbow. He watched her as if she was a bomb he suspected might detonate.

  “Lilith?” he asked.

  “At least it was nice to have known Nhang before she died.” Lilith sighed. “Creating her was hard, something I swore I'd never do. Something I didn't even think I had a desire to do. But she was a wonder. A force of nature. Damned hopeful girl with her head in the clouds.”

  She heard the tone of finality and despair in her own voice, and her heart sank down to her toes.

  “You have to help me,” he pleaded.

  She began shaking her head.

  He reached out, but if she hadn’t seen his hand rise to her elbow, she wouldn’t have known he was touching her. Everything seemed dull, gray, caught somewhere between night and day.

  “Please, Lilith.” His hand fell away. “Everallin said I can't get into the dragon's lair without you. I need your help. I'll give you anything…”

  “The amulet’s not meant for me. It’s over. You can leave. I don't need your help anymore.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t need you,” she whispered. “I thought that's what freedom was. Not needing anything. Not having anything. What could be more liberating?”

  “You’re wrong,” he said.

  “No.” She shrugged. “And yet I wasn't right.”

  Dawn was coming.

  If she started walking now, she could get to the train by evening.

  She took a step away, angling toward the cemetery portion of the front lot. Gravestones pushed up through half-wasted snowbanks, tall stones and flat plaques and graven images and angels…

  Haniel grabbed her elbow again, dragging her to a stop. She glanced down at his hand. Was he trying to encourage her or manipulate her? She decided she didn’t care and pulled away.

  He chased her and argued, “Freedom isn't having nothing. Freedom is being, but on your own terms.”

  “You don't understand. Fate is an agent of Destiny. Fucking Destiny, Haniel. I can't beat that.”

  “Everallin’s one human witch,” he said. “How could she stop you?”

  Lilith was tired of explaining things to him, of warning him about the powerful enemies she faced. “Fate always finds a way, Haniel. One doesn’t argue with the sisters. I’m done.”

  “I don’t believe you,” he said.

  She sighed. “Because you want me to fetch your poor little princess. If not for Maggie, you wouldn't be saying these things.”

  “Exactly. Yes.”

  Why the heck did it take him this long to become agreeable? Couldn't he see she was done?

  Obviously Destiny had determined Lilith should suffer, whether or not she deserved it. It wasn’t Lilith’s fault that she’d stumbled out of a grave all those centuries ago. She hadn’t been consulted. Why couldn’t the world leave her alone?

  She’d believed she could change her future, but she was wrong.

  Who’s the idiot idealist now?

  Haniel stepped in front of her and grabbed her chin. “When there's an opportunity to hope or love, you take it. Always. When there's a chance to fight for the ones you love, you always fight. Because they'll disappear. People, hope, chances—everything is vapor.”

  “But Fate wants—”

  He dropped her chin and waved his hand at the building. “I don’t care what Everallin said. You have options.”

  Lilith snarled. “When every path leads to the same damned place—when nothing I do matters—then all I have is the façade of choice.”

  She brushed past him and stomped down the remaining steps, toward the tombstones, away from him.

  Haniel called out, “Why didn't she take the amulet?”

  Lilith stopped, glanced over her shoulder.

  “Think about it. If the witch didn't want you to do anything rash, why didn’t she take the amulet from you? She didn't demand it, didn’t trade for it. She hasn’t forced you to do anything, Lilith. Make up your own mind.”

  She thought about that. Yes, if she’d been in Everallin’s place, she’d have taken the amulet. Immediately. But what did that mean?

  Another goddamn riddle.

  No, it meant nothing. Fate had spoken, and that was that.

  Haniel came down the steps and leaned into her face. “If I wanted to stop you—really, truly stop you—I wouldn't leave that amulet in your possession. I would have secured it by any means necessary. I’d take it and break both your legs, leaving you with nothing and no way to run.”

  “Unless she knew I would capitulate,” Lilith said. “If she foresaw that I wouldn’t put up a fight—”

  “You’ll always fight. It’s your nature.” He shook his head. “Now, fight for freedom. For hope. By any means necessary.”

  She rubbed her forehead with the heel of her hand.

  If the damned universe hung in the balance, shouldn’t fortunetellers be explicitly clear about what needs to happen?

  Why didn’t the witch steal my talisman? Why tell me anything at all?

  Unless…maybe Everallin had been trying to help her.

  She’d warned Lilith about potential disasters: Haniel’s resistance, the dragon’s seven hearts, nearby angels, fumbling the verse and mistaking the spell. What if Everallin had tried to help Lilith avoid potential disasters?

  “Maybe she doesn’t want me to quit,” Lilith said. “Maybe she’s steering me in a different direction.”

  “Exactly!” Haniel said. “What if this is a test? What if Everallin, or even Fate, is testing your conviction?”

  “What if you’re wrong?”

  “Who cares? If this is the only thing that can save your life and you have the power to do it, then you should. By any means necessary.”

  “Any means? Even if it costs you your humanity?” Lilith clenched her fists. “By all likelihood, I’ll have to sacrifice you for the spell. Do you still think it’s a good idea?”

  “I won’t get out of this alive. I’ve known for days. As long as we save Maggie, I don’t care what happens to me.” He held out his big, rough paw. “Will you choose to fight? Or will you tuck tail and run?”

  Lilith stared at his palm. He had as much to lose as she did—namely, his life—and he didn’t seem hesitant at all.

  “Let’s do this.” She reached out and set her hand in his.

  A smile quirked his lips. “Finally, we agree on something.”

  She grinned back.

  “Nice ring.” He frowned. “Have you always worn it?”

  “What?” She pulled her hand away. “No, Everallin gave it to me. She said Hera thought I’d dropped it.”

  “Hera?” he asked.

  “One of the sisters of Fate, which is weird because…”

  “Because?”

  “I’m fairly certain this isn’t my ring, and the Fates are quarreling.”

  She frowned, her brow low and twisted and brooding. Why would Hera want her to have a piece of jew
elry? What was the bloody point of—

  “What now?” he said.

  She gawked. “I thought you had a big plan. All these grandiose declarations of fighting for love and you’ve got nothing helpful to say?”

  “The details are your department,” he said. “I can’t get to Maggie without you, so figure it out, princess.”

  “Princess?” She gaped. “Of all the nerve—”

  “The witch said the dragon’s in a castle,” Haniel said. “Big surprise. Why are you stalling?”

  “We need an army, and yours isn’t strong enough to kill a dragon yet.”

  He stilled. “You thought my legion would fight for you? Are you kidding me? They’re mine!”

  “You promised me anything,” she reminded him, “without knowing the details or caring for the cost, you gave me a promise. It’s a little late to be petty about the particulars.”

  “Bitch,” he mumbled.

  “Of all people, you should know to be cautious when bargaining with devils.” Then she belly laughed and slapped her knee. “Devils, ha!”

  “It’s not funny.”

  “Pfft. You have no sense of humor.”

  He folded his arms and smirked. “You know what would have been funny? I don’t have an army of minions. Not even half of one. Hell, I didn’t have enough firepower to get me out of that library without your help. If you’d expected me to save you, you’d have failed.”

  Lilith clenched her fists. The secretive asshole had almost ruined everything. If she’d depended solely on him, she wouldn’t have had the ‘manpower’ and she’d have failed.

  Everallin told the truth. About that, at least.

  “Prioritize,” he said. “What’s most important? What do we do first?”

  Lilith thought it over: she needed to eliminate the humbaba, but she sure as hell wasn't going to arm-wrestle the beast. She couldn’t rely on Haniel and his swarm of wispy demons to overwhelm a fearsome dragon. Plus Haniel, in his stupid, love-struck frenzy, was bound to rush in head first and get himself killed.

  “We need a better plan,” she said.

  “We have a plan?” He smirked. “Here I thought we were winging it.”

  “Exactly,” she grumbled.

  “Maggie is so close.” He sighed. “I can't wait.”

  “And we can't make any mistakes.”

  If she could find a way to cut Maggie's rescue out of the agenda, she would, and then she could avoid the humbaba altogether and skip right to the ritual. Except Everallin said Haniel wouldn't even know what the key was until he saw Maggie.

  Damn it.

  “We need help.” She began to pace. “An army would be nice.”

  He scratched his head. “FEMA is in town, along with a militia and a half dozen new gangs. The problem would be leveraging and organizing them. They have no reason to fight with us, and I couldn't imagine how to recruit them, certainly not in the span of one night, and we can’t wait.”

  She sighed. “This is a mess. All I wanted was the key. One simple, elusive ingredient. Now I've got to slay a dragon, save a damsel, perform a spell I can barely read—while spitting in the face of Fate and Destiny—and somehow avoid a murderous angel at the same time. And then there’s Nhang…”

  She twisted the ring on her thumb, round and round, squeezing so hard the pearl dented the pad of her finger.

  He laughed. “Maybe you’re not cut out for this.”

  “What?”

  “Clearly, I overestimated you. Look at yourself. Bumbling around, wringing your hands. Not strong enough to fight a dragon, too anxious to make a decision. You’re not courageous enough to go through with this. Maybe you should give up.”

  “Shut your face.”

  “Obviously it's too much for you. I mean, c'mon. You can't even clothe yourself without stumbling into disaster and mutiny. No one survives the shit-storm following you around. You’re bad luck, just ask Catherine—”

  She growled. “Don't use her to taunt me. I let her die to save you.”

  “You gave her up to save yourself,” he said, “because you’re a selfish bitch. I'm not stupid; you weren’t trying to save me out of the kindness of your heart. Look at everything you’ve done. If your only mission was to unlock this damned trinket—” he flicked the amulet between her breasts— “then unlock the bloody thing.”

  It’s not that simple.

  He continued. “Angels want to kill you. Who cares? Vampires are killing each other. So what? Fate warned you to stand down. Fuck them! Put your nose to the damned grindstone, do the work, and finish what we set out to do. Instead of being distracted by the mess, make the chaos work for you.”

  She nibbled on her lip. “That's actually good advice.”

  He preened. “Of course. I am an ex-angel, after all.”

  She huffed a laugh. He was challenging her, riling her up on purpose, trying to force her to be creative in spite of herself.

  Because he wants something, too.

  “Haniel, you'd say anything to rescue Maggie. Anything. You don't care if I succeed or if heaven burns me up.”

  “Maggie’s the only reason.” He swore, “She’ll always be the reason.”

  Lilith was envious. The singularity of purpose, that straight line of devotion and fervor; she had that once, not too long ago. But then Lane had died—her friend, her lighthouse, the one who was supposed to have everything under control—and since that night her attention had been split in a dozen directions. She’d lost sight of the end goal.

  She rubbed her eyes. “What am I missing?”

  Haniel slipped his hands in his pockets, dropped the offensive tactic, and stared out at the graveyard with her. His curly black hair bent in the breeze, twisting, and she thought it would make a lovely nest of Bimini blind snakes.

  “If there was an easy solution,” he said, “what would it look like? What’s the simplest way to synchronize all these pieces?”

  Kill the dragon to get the girl, trade the girl’s life for Haniel’s, work the spell, and use the key to unlock the amulet. If only she could convince all the pieces to play along, to knock themselves over in the right order.

  She nibbled her lip. How had she persuaded Haniel to team up with her?

  By pretending to have something he wanted.

  Everyone wanted something.

  Lilith needed the angels to get off her ass. Haniel desired the female object of his obsession. Nhang demanded a new world order. The Fates craved obedience. And the Corporal hoped to upgrade his status and give Poppy a big house and pretty dress.

  Lilith smiled. It seems a girl is every man’s downfall.

  Her smile died as she remembered other things Everallin had said. Specifically, the part about Nhang being slain by the Corporal or his army of mutineers.

  Lilith was tempted to let Nhang die simply to teach the brat a lesson, but she recalled Nhang’s regal face and how outraged she’d been upon seeing Lilith at Catherine’s. Upset, righteous, she’d stood strong, smiling with impressive teeth.

  Nhang had a lot to be proud of. Hell, she’d carved out an army, started a revolution, and championed an uprising. The Exalted kingdom would never be the same.

  Silly child. Haven’t I warned her a hundred times that social revolutions devour their own, that armies who unite to punish others always turn on each other?

  Nhang was old enough to know better. Saving her would be above and beyond any mother’s call of duty.

  What can I do? Lilith sighed. I have a universe to betray and a black magic ritual to perform.

  Haniel’s lecture about defending hope and life came back at her, but she couldn’t see a way to save everyone’s hope and life and the same time.

  There’s nothing I can do.

  She needed to focus on solving the real problem, recruiting manpower—

  “I have an idea,” Lilith said.

  “Good.” Haniel turned and strode up the path. He didn’t look back to see if she was following.

  She blinked
at him. He didn’t even want to hear her idea?

  “Don’t dawdle, Lilith. We have a universe to piss off.” He laughed, the pitch climbing until it sounded near-hysterical. “Another blasphemy, coming right up. Let’s go!”

  Grumbling, she grabbed a handful of her skirts and raced after him. On the way to the gate, she spotted a large stone statue of a gargoyle…something so big and out of place it must have fallen from the roof. Lilith hurried past its bulbous, ugly face and hunchback form.

  She shivered.

  Lilith attributed her reaction to cold and hunger. She glanced over her shoulder at the chapel. It sat, staunch and imposing, ripe for the picking. Wards at the threshold wouldn’t stop her from burning the place to the ground, chasing everyone out. There’d been easily a hundred souls inside. Surely they wouldn’t miss one or two.

  Unguarded, complacent behind their walls of brick and magic. Even if Everallin anticipated what Lilith might do, the witch wouldn’t be able to evacuate that many people at once.

  Lilith squinted. It seemed to her like the ugly statue on the path had advanced toward her, like a knight on a chessboard, three paces up and once to the side.

  But that’s stupid, she thought.

  She hurried to catch up to Haniel.

  Something bothered her: firstly, the idea that no matter what she chose, she’d be playing into Fate’s hands, and secondly, that Nhang had been so angry at the sight of her. After all these years, she hadn’t mastered the art of indifference. Passion was deadly; it led intelligent creatures around by their nut sacks, dragging them to their doom. Nhang’s lingering empathy implied that Lilith had failed to prepare her for life in the kingdom.

  But why should such a thing have mattered?

  I still have a lesson to teach her, Lilith thought. “Maybe the brat will listen this time.”

  “What?” Haniel said.

  “Nothing.” She smiled. “I need a scrap of paper.”

  “Paper,” he said, blank. Triceratops appeared and pulled a slip of paper out of Haniel’s pocket. She shoved it into Lilith’s hand and she disappeared.

  Lilith grinned. “I’m sending an invitation.”

  “To whom?”

  “In case you’ve forgotten, we just met an army,” she cackled. “Though I suppose it’d be more accurate to say we fled one.”