by Poppy Flynn
Chapter 14
A knock on her door had her rolling onto her back with a scowl as she looked at the clock on her bedside cabinet. It was just short of eleven am on a Sunday morning, the only day she could ever guarantee being off, since the club was closed. It was her day to do nothing but veg and she couldn't help wondering who would interrupt it. Her tummy gave a little lurch, which arrowed predictably down to her lady parts, when she wondered if it might be Christian.
Scrambling off the bed, she trotted to the door. Peering through the peephole, Trinity felt a wave of heat climb all the way from her chest to her face when she saw Micah standing there. Closing her eyes and trying to get her embarrassment under control, Trinity realised, guiltily, that she had completely forgotten about their tryst agreement for today. Her stomach lurched at the thought, but she couldn't just leave him standing outside in the outer hallway of her apartment building.
Taking a cleansing and hopefully steadying breath, Trinity opened the door and gave Micah a wobbly smile. "Hi," she said, trying for bright, but it came out as a hopelessly hoarse rasp.
"Hi back." Micah sauntered in, raising an eyebrow in query as he did so.
She knew better than to think she could get anything past him. "I forgot you were coming over," she replied lamely to his unspoken question.
Micah grinned and the smile lit up his 'surfer dude' facade and made him look decidedly boyish, despite his bodybuilder physique. "That temporary lapse in memory wouldn't have anything to do with that scorching hot scene I witnessed between you and Master Night yesterday, would it?" He leered in amusement.
Trinity felt the heat ride up her face even further, although she wasn't quite sure why she should be so mortified. They managed a BDSM club together, and their live sex license meant that intercourse was often a part of the scenes that took place there. Not that she'd actually had sex, she reminded herself primly, but she had been begging for it, she knew.
As if he read her mind, Micah took a step closer and captured her chin in his hand, encouraging her to meet his amused gaze. "I don't recall ever hearing you beg to be fucked before, Trinity," he declared with a wicked laugh.
"Urgh!" Trinity bowed her head and buried it in the broad width of his chest. Micah just laughed all the louder and scooped her up in his powerful arms, striding with her into the bedroom.
Eying the clearly made but crumpled bed before he tossed her on it and pulled his straining tee-shirt over his head, he asked, "Is someone horny, by any chance?"
Trinity looked blankly back at him. Suddenly, none of this seemed right any more. They'd had this arrangement in place for years, ever since she had first started tending the bar back on the south coast Club Risqué and Micah had just been a member with his own psychology practice. It had always been kept private and outside of the club, itself, and it had always suited them both for their own private reasons. Hers, because she wanted to indulge in sex occasionally, but since it was on her soft limits at the club, she didn't want other members getting the wrong idea about either her limits or her relationship with Micah, which was strictly fuck buddies. His own reasons also had to do with his ex, Sara, who had died a little while before they had met. By unspoken agreement, they had never discussed their motives between themselves, but, like her, Micah rarely indulged in intercourse during a scene, so she assumed this was his way of privately blowing off some steam, too.
Right now, however, the thought of having no strings sex with Micah left her cold, despite her raging libido, and had her stomach churning with nausea.
"Problem?" Micah asked perceptively.
Trinity frowned and kneeled up on the bed, determinedly pulling off the flimsy sundress she was wearing. "No," she denied as she pulled the garment over her head, leaving her clothed in just a comfortable pair of lacy boy shorts and struggling with the desire to cover herself with her hands. This was a long-standing arrangement and not one that occurred that frequently. Trinity and Micah got together less than once a month, but she knew Micah needed this interlude; she just wished she didn't feel this unusual reticence about fulfilling their agreement. That was a first. Normally, serving Micah on a sustained, if irregular, basis was one of the things that gave her the most pleasure in life.
Damn Christian! She knew this unexpected impression that she was cheating was because of him. Sure, she had asked for exclusivity, but only once their contract had been consummated. After that, she would return the same compliance to him, but they hadn't made it that far yet. And, damn it, she couldn't afford for him to have this kind of adverse effect on her life.
In a few weeks, he would be gone, and she would still be here, trying to live her life to the best of her ability, without him once again. She tried hard to clutch hold of that; she would still be here, and so would Micah. It wasn't fair to throw over their long-term arrangement for the sake of a short-term contract.
Micah settled his bulk onto the bed next to her. "You're distracted," he noted, grasping the longer tufts of hair on the crown of her head and pulling her head back so he could feast on the soft skin of her neck.
The pull on her scalp and the feel of his mouth in that quietly erogenous zone sent electricity skittering down her spine, but before they could ignite in her intimate places, the feeling sputtered and died.
She knew Micah had felt her stiffen, and she fought to relax in his arms and allow him to reignite the pleasurable sensations. But when his mouth cruised down her throat toward her breasts, she arched up and knew, in her heart, that it was in an effort to buck him off rather than to encourage him.
Micah knew it, too. He was far too astute to mistake any kind of body language, either willingly or unwittingly.
He leaned back on his elbow and looked down at her as she lay by his side.
"Talk to me, Trinity," he demanded. "I can tell you're not on board with this; I just don't know why. Is it because you need me to do something different, or is there another reason entirely?"
He trailed his big hand across one of her collarbones and down her arm, watching intently as goose bumps lifted in the wake of his touch, but intensely aware of how Trinity flinched and then cringed contradictorily. When she said nothing, Trinity should have realised that he would make his own, uncomfortably vocal, assessment.
"Your body is humming, and you're horny as hell, as I suspected when I came in," he pondered. "But your head is in a completely different place and denying the pleasure of my touch."
His melted chocolate gaze seared into her silvery one. "Is it just me?" he wondered out loud, watching the minutiae of her expressions very carefully. "Or is there something distracting your enjoyment?"
He watched the way her eyes tightened almost indiscernibly and knew there was certainly a hint of the former, though they had been friends for long enough that it didn't entirely make sense, and there was also the most infinitesimal frown at the latter, which confused him momentarily.
Following a gut instinct, he ran his fingers down the line of her sternum, in between her breasts and down to her abdomen, stroking gently there and feeling her belly quiver beneath his touch. It was the sheen of tears that welled in her beautiful eyes that had him more concerned, though, and he rolled on his back and pulled her with him until she was sprawled halfway across him, cradled in his strong, comforting arms with her head resting on his bare chest.
Are you going to tell me?" he enquired. "Or do you want me to continue with my own evaluation?"
Trinity didn't reply right away. She didn't know what to say, but she pressed an affectionate kiss onto the smooth skin of his clavicle and moved her hand to play, distractedly, in his crinkly chest hair.
"Okay, let me start then, and you can correct me if I'm wrong," Micah continued when nothing more was forthcoming.
"Your body is massively over stimulated." He ran his broad palm down the length of her spine, and they both felt the telltale shiver which followed. "I would hazard a guess that it's due to your scene from last night, since, although Master Nig
ht managed to have you begging for sex, he also denied you intercourse."
Trinity buried her face further into Micah's shoulder and wished her hair was still long enough to use as a curtain against his shrewd gaze and even shrewder mind.
"Knowing you the way I do, and knowing Night's excellent reputation, I would make an informed guess that you specified that clause before your scene and he upheld it, like you probably asked and trusted him to."
Micah continued to stroke his hand up and down her naked back, in what was meant to be a soothing gesture, though he wondered if she was too wound up to appreciate it.
"So that bit's straight forward enough," he mused. "But your reticence to allow me to assuage that frustration is a little more complicated." He felt Trinity's nose and cheekbone move against his chest and knew she was scrunching up her face.
"We've known each other for years, and we've enjoyed sex with each other dozens of times. We both know exactly where we stand, and there have never been any issues when either of us scene with anyone else…" He felt a distinctive flinch and knew he had hit the jackpot.
…Until now!" he amended softly. "You didn't seem to have any issues with me becoming Charlotte's training Dom, and the only thing that has occurred recently is your contract with Master Night."
And Bingo! Micah felt the sudden unnatural stillness at the mention of the other Dom and knew he was at the crux of Trinity's issues. The thought still surprised him, though. Trinity kept everyone at arm's length, himself included. He couldn't help but wonder how a stranger to whom she'd only been introduced a few days prior could have gotten under her unflappable skin so quickly. Unless…
"Do you know him?" Micah asked abruptly, leaning up so he could see her face. "Have you met him before?"
She knew that he could tell by her expression he had hit the nail on the head; the question was would she confide in him now and get whatever it was that was bugging her off her chest.
Trinity sighed. Micah was spot on, as usual. There was no keeping anything from the man. "Years ago, before I became a submissive, I was in a relationship with Christian," she finally confided. "Except, it wasn't a relationship, because he wasn't ready for that kind of commitment, and he had good reason," she defended, when she saw Micah's frown.
"How old were you, Trinity?"
She could hear the gears turning in his head. They had known each other for five years, and he knew Christian hadn't been on the scene when they met.
"I met him when I was seventeen and I was completely smitten…" Micah sucked in a breath and, knowing where his thoughts were going, she hurried to continue. "…but we didn't become lovers until my nineteenth birthday."
"Young enough!" Micah grumbled.
"It was what I wanted, and he was careful not to promise anything he couldn't give…" She trailed off, this was where it always got difficult.
"What happened?" Micah prompted, holding her tight within his strong, comforting embrace and resting his chin on the top of her head.
"We carried on just like that for three years," Trinity confided. "I thought if I was there for him, if I did everything I could to make the things he was having to deal with easier for him, and if I didn't push too hard, then one day the worst of it would be over and we could settle into a proper relationship."
"You loved him." It was a statement, but Trinity answered anyway.
"Yes, I did…and then one day came, but instead of settling down with me, he broke my heart. He told me he had met someone else and wanted to marry her…" Trinity's voice trailed off again, and Micah could feel the warm tears that dripped onto his chest. He hugged her tight and his heart ached for the gentle soul who would have given so completely of herself while demanding nothing in return. He had always known that Trinity's giving nature left her open to being taken advantage of, and he had always admired the way she was cognisant of the fact and worked hard to make sure that didn't happen, nourishing her service geared character traits within the relative safety of the lifestyle. Looks like she had learned the hard way, just like he had.
"Did he know how you felt?" he asked carefully, aware it was probably a tender subject.
"I never told him, if that's what you mean."
But Micah knew it wasn't always necessary to be told. Sometimes you just knew when somebody wanted more from you than you were able to give. Micah knew from bitter experience that it wasn't any easier to be on the other side of such a relationship. He closed his eyes for a moment, battling his own demons, then took a breath, concentrating on Trinity once again. He didn't want to remember Sara and everything that had transpired to haunt his own life. If anyone could sympathise with Christian's unenviable position, then, ironically, it would be Micah himself.
Micah switched gears and tried to put a few stray puzzle pieces together. "So where's his wife?"
"Apparently, the marriage lasted less than a year." Trinity laughed humourlessly. "Seems she was actually more interested in his money than his lifestyle."
Micah cast his mind back over Christian Knightley's membership form and remembered that there was an addendum regarding a woman by the name of Bianca James and the sanction, by none other than top lawyer and co-owner, Logan Thornton, that the woman was never to be allowed access to any of his clubs, and with the adjunct that she be proactively prevented from gaining access to any other clubs they held on friendly terms, since she was considered to be a lifestyle predator.
"So let me guess," he ventured. "You agreed to continue with the contract for whatever reasons, but now, because your present and previous feelings for Christian are all mixed up, you feel torn at the idea of having sex with me?"
Trinity sighed and rolled away from him and onto her back, staring at the ceiling as if it, once again, held the answers to all of the things she didn't know.
"It isn't fair!" she said bitterly. "He'll be gone again in a few more weeks and I don't want him disrupting the life I lead now, but somehow, the idea of continuing what we usually share makes me feel like I'm cheating."
"That's because your deeper emotions are involved," he excused.
"It's still not fair," she spat vehemently. "You've been there for me for the past five years, helping me, supporting me. And you'll be the one who's there long after he's gone again, so that makes me feel guilty that I'm not providing what you need. Shouldn't I feel like being with him is cheating on you?"
Micah leaned over her again and his face split into a cheeky smile, that little boy grin evident once again as he playfully kissed the end of her nose.
"But you don't love me, so you're never going to feel that way," he said matter of factly.
Was that the problem? Trinity wondered. Was she still in love with Christian?
Another knock on the door precluded either of them dissecting that possibility.
"Expecting someone?" Micah asked as he rolled off the bed and sauntered through her lounge.
"No." Trinity frowned as she fumbled for a robe and tied the sash as she followed him to where he was checking her peephole.
He looked back at her with amusement. "Well, this could be the answer to some of your dilemmas," he told her with a shit eating grin before he threw open the door to reveal Christian, himself, standing on the other side.
Chapter 15
Dear God! Trinity wondered as her cheeks heated all over again. How much embarrassment did she have to suffer in the duration of a single day? Was it possible to die of mortification?
Christian looked somewhere between uncomfortable and disapproving at finding Micah answering her door, sans shirt, and his eyes narrowed when he took in her own attire.
"Sorry, he said stiffly. "I'm obviously interrupting."
It was Micah who stopped him from leaving, while Trinity's stomach just did that horrible falling away thing.
"Actually, I was just leaving, so come on in." He swept his arm out, gesturing into the room. Christian looked her up and down, and his eyes narrowed and flashed in disdain. Trinity flushed with an e
ven deeper embarrassment, but she couldn't blame him. She knew how it looked, and he wouldn't even be too far wrong in his assumptions. God, she felt so cheap right at this second.
Christian's gaze swung back to Micah, and it looked like he was about to reply with some insolent retort.
Trinity's face paled as she watched the silent byplay between the two men. Two Doms. Micah's eyes narrowed and hardened, Christian's sparked indignation and a touch of anger and his jaw flexed as if he'd clenched his teeth together.
Micah raised his eyebrows and said, so quietly that Trinity barely heard him, "Don't say it, Night! Don't say what you can't take back."
Christian's chest expanded, but that was the only thing that gave away the deep silent breath which he took.
And that was that. Micah nodded just once then took a step back, pulling his discarded tee shirt over his head. He pulled Trinity into his arms, but she couldn't bear to look at him. She could feel Christian bristling with resentment across the room. Micah kissed her on the forehead. "Call me if you need me," he murmured quietly, before he gave Christian another hard look and let himself out of the door.
Trinity felt sick as well as humiliated. She felt like she had let down both Christian and Micah now, and she could feel the condemnation rolling off of Christian in waves. She closed her eyes and shoved her trembling hands into the pockets of her short satin robe. It didn't help that she was acutely underdressed, also.
"Tell me that wasn't what it looked like, Tara," Christian demanded with just a slight edge of accusation to his voice.
Ironically, it was the use of the nickname that had her composing herself and kicking back, angry at the judgement she could feel rising from him.
"You know what, Christian, although it really depends on what you think it looked like, I'm not sure it's actually any of your business, either way," she spat angrily, swinging around to face him head on. "We have a club contract which extends to my accompanying you to a couple of outside functions. It does not include you interfering with my private life."