The Liars

by Naomi Joy

  So she’d been playing her own little game behind the scenes, had she? Not officially up for the job of Team Head but ready to step into the wings as soon as I fell. I was almost impressed. My protégé had defeated me. She’d had a makeover, too. Her nails were short and plain and her usually ratty hair had been cropped into a sharp, no-nonsense bob.

  ‘Hi Jade,’ she said.

  David motioned for her to take my seat and spoke again to Kai, oblivious of the betrayal unfolding before him.

  ‘Why don’t the two of you start the handover now. Jade, do you want to come with me?’ He wasn’t really asking, I knew that.

  I got up in silence, giving George a horrible look as I passed.

  How had I let this happen? I was so angry with myself. I should have known. You can’t trust anyone. I needed to gather my thoughts before I explained everything to David. He would understand, wouldn’t he? He had to.

  David closed the door to the meeting room, leaving Kai and Georgette, the new Team Head, together. I could barely believe it. Then, he addressed the floor.

  ‘Can I have your attention, please?’ he asked authoritatively.

  He already had their attention.

  I stood by his side, trying to figure out what he had planned. Was he going to tell everyone what had just happened?

  ‘I’m afraid to announce that Jade Fernleigh, who’s been with us for eight years, has just handed in her resignation and I’ve agreed, reluctantly, to let her go.’

  Murmurs rippled round the room and I noticed a couple of people cover their mouths. It felt like I was being publicly hung, hundreds of villagers out in force to see my limp body swing from the gallows.

  ‘Please join me in giving Jade a well-deserved round of applause for her efforts here and to wish her luck on her next adventure.’ A meek round of applause splattered out from various pockets across the room. Everyone knew what was going on, this was a show of strength from David pure and simple. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. He turned on his heel and the smell of his expensive cologne was the only thing that remained as I stood rooted to the spot, unsure what to do next. I reflected that my time at the top had been as short-lived as a mayfly’s twenty-four-hour life and far from the queen I’d dreamt I could be.

  My hands shook, followed by tears flooding my eyes. The floor was quiet save for a few shrieks of cruel laughter and muffled giggling.

  After what felt like an eternity, I gathered my thoughts and forced myself to walk over to my desk, picking up the most important things and transferring them to my rucksack. The bag’s zip was soon under pressure and I decided to cut my losses, swung it over my shoulder and left. They could fight over what remained. I passed Freya on the way out, her watery eyes and faint whiff of vomit the last memory of my eight years at W&SP.

  *

  On my way home, I stopped at the megastore a couple of bus stops away from my flat. I’d completely fucked the job, but an idea was percolating as the bus meandered in and out of its frequent stations picking up benefits cheats, useless, unemployed fat people and unwashed students.

  Maybe there was a way back. As I entered the building I took a deep breath in and grabbed a basket from the tall stack at the store’s front doors. I flitted round buying ingredients; onion, garlic, mince, potato, tomato, Worcestershire sauce. I hadn’t made this meal for years, but I vaguely remembered the recipe. A woman with dentures and a bad perm racked up my items, then asked me if I needed a bag.

  ‘Of course I need a bag,’ I replied, testily.

  ‘Chill out,’ she said. Words I wasn’t expecting to hear from an OAP. I tapped my foot repetitively against the plastic floor as she took a lifetime to peel my bag away from its compatriots.

  ‘Forget it, I don’t need one,’ I huffed when it didn’t part after her sixth attempt.

  ‘Suit yourself.’

  She spoke with a slight Jamaican accent and smiled to herself. Had that little stunt been deliberate? Who on earth did she think she was? I picked up my items and balanced them in my arms, swiping my contactless card against the reader.

  ‘Crazy bitch,’ I said under my breath as I turned to walk away.

  Before I reached the exit, a sturdy hand curled round my shoulder.

  ‘Easy, love, you need to come with me.’ I detected a Northern accent, out of place in London.

  ‘What for? I’m in a hurry,’ I explained, trying to make forward progress against his grip.

  ‘There’s been a complaint, you were abusive to one of our cashiers.’

  His grip tightened.

  ‘What the fuck?’ I lost my cool and spun round to meet him. ‘She wouldn’t get me a plastic bag!’

  ‘This way, love.’ Another security guard appeared and held my other shoulder.

  ‘Fine, look, fine!’ I shrieked, shrugging them off me, still clutching my bagless groceries.

  The two burly blokes frogmarched me to a small room at the back of the supermarket. The old Jamaican lady sat in the corner, visibly upset. She gesticulated and shouted in my direction.

  ‘It was her! She’s the one that called me a crazy bitch.’

  She cradled a little handkerchief in her hand to dab away her tears.

  The security guards stayed by the door and a chubby woman sat next to the crazy bitch. I looked her up and down: she couldn’t have been more than about twenty, but her lapel badge told me she was: Carly, Store Manager. Each of her ears boasted a grand, silver hoop, and her ill-fitting white shirt was in the midst of a battle to stay closed over her bulging bust.

  I felt sorry for the crazy bitch for a moment: having to report to Carly couldn’t be pleasant.

  ‘I don’t want to have to call the police, but we have a zero-tolerance policy on abuse towards our staff members.’ Carly’s voice was mock-managerial, she’d probably learnt to speak like that on a training day in Slough. I didn’t have time for this.

  ‘Look, I’m really sorry to… what’s her name?’ I asked.

  ‘Tay.’

  ‘I’m really sorry if Tay thought I called her that, but I didn’t actually say those words. I don’t want any fuss. I have a family to feed at home…’ I hesitated just as the lie left my lips. Would anyone believe someone like me would have a family? ‘I really need to get back.’

  I waited, expecting to be found out, but when nobody did anything, I spoke again.

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘OK, well we have to side with our staff member on this one, I’m afraid, so I will be giving you a ban from the store, OK?’

  What was the point in asking me if that was OK?

  ‘Which means you won’t be able to come back here, OK?’

  Thanks for the clarification. ‘Right. Can I go?’

  ‘Terry will show you out.’

  My second attempt to leave the supermarket was a lot more successful but fury built inside me at the second injustice of the day and frustrated tears fell down my face. I couldn’t get anything right; only one person would make me feel better.

  When I eventually got home, my housemate was lounging on the sofa in the windowless living room, daytime TV blaring from the speakers.

  Will Carol and Andy have made the right decision? Find out after the break…

  I closed the door with my hip, jostling the items in my arms, trying to stop them from falling to the floor.

  ‘Don’t ask me why I’m home early,’ I shouted out, warning her. The TV’s sound stopped.

  ‘Why are you home early?’ she asked, following me through the narrow doorway to the kitchen. I threw my shopping down on the side and rooted round in the cupboards for a frying pan and pyrex dish.

  ‘Let me guess…’ She was enjoying this. ‘You’re not ill, so, Ava’s back and you refuse to work for her?’

  I made the sound of an incorrect buzzer. ‘Nuh-nuh. Try again.’

  ‘You blew up the building.’

  ‘Wrong again.’

  ‘Wait, you weren’t fired, were you?’

  ‘Ding ding d
ing.’

  She cackled with laughter. ‘Why?’

  ‘Because Ava had Kai so far up her arse that I never stood a chance,’ I sighed. ‘And while I had my hands full dealing with Ava, Georgette was planning a mutiny of her own.’

  ‘Oh! I’m sorry Jadey-wadey.’

  She turned her voice all sing-song and went back to the living room to catch the next thrilling instalment of Carol and Andy’s daytime dilemma. Ava had made sure she was the only one breaking through the glass ceiling but, just as I’d smashed through to replace her, Georgette had slipped through the cracks I’d created and poured a tonne of concrete behind her. But no matter. No matter. Concentrate on what’s next. Concentrate on the plan. I fried onions, added the mince, the tomatoes, boiled and mashed the potatoes and smothered a layer on top of the mince mixture. I put the dish in the oven then went upstairs to change. She followed me.

  ‘What are you doing cooking? You never cook,’ she probed.

  ‘It’s for a friend, we’re having dinner together tonight.’ I didn’t look at her as I busied myself selecting an outfit. Maybe a skirt and a low-cut top?

  ‘Aren’t we friends, Jade? We used to be, didn’t we?’

  I refused to look at her.

  ‘Jade?’

  She moved closer, her ice-cold arms wrapping round me, constricting my breathing.

  ‘Jade?’

  I fought and struggled as I pushed my way out of her embrace.

  ‘Olivia, stop!’ I cried as her dead eyes came to settle across from mine and her blue lips trembled.

  ‘We were friends, weren’t we?’ I didn’t answer. ‘Why didn’t you help me, Jade? Why did you let me die?’ I couldn’t take it any more and I screamed, running through her ghostly body and downstairs to the kitchen, grabbing my lukewarm dish on the way out and slamming the door behind me.

  I hopped on the bus, a fellow passenger helping me with my oyster card as I struggled to swipe it as well as hold my pie. I occupied one of the priority seats near the front of the bus – if ever there was a priority journey it was this – and let my mind unravel, the spools and cogs turning and twisting as they rewound time. Memories of Olivia flickered before me as though I were looking through a kaleidoscope. I’d tried to block her out of my mind but she’d come to me in person instead and wouldn’t leave me alone, especially when I was down, or emotional. The harder I tried to forget that night, to forget about her altogether, to forget what I’d done, she’d make me remember five times louder. We’d been friends, yes, of course we’d been friends. I should have told her that. Back when we’d worked together, we’d been thick as thieves, she’d been one of the few people in my life who’d liked me. No one ever liked me. She’d been kind to me. She understood what it was like to live with difficult parents, she understood what it was like to feel like an outsider, like someone who didn’t fit in. To be honest, she managed it in that cool-girl misfit kind of way: the girl who was beautiful and haunted and aloof, but it was her own demons that held her back from feeling accepted rather than other people rejecting her. Which is what always happened to me. I felt terrible about what I’d done to her. She hadn’t deserved it.

  And then there was Ava. Ava never struggled to fit in. I wiped the ridge of my bottom eyelid that brimmed wet as I thought about how everything had gone from good to bad when Ava joined W&SP, then bad to worse as she’d dug her claws in.

  We approached Lupus Street in Pimlico and I hoped Josh was still staying at Olivia’s, that he hadn’t decided to move out yet. Then I realised something: I hadn’t thought of a pithy opening line to greet him with. Oh, God… I needed longer to prepare. Options whizzed past. Shepherd’s pie at night, Josh’s delight! No, Jade, just keep it simple.

  News crews lined the street as I paced down the pavement towards Olivia’s house, their white satellite dishes transforming the inner-city road into a Hollywood film set.

  If Ava wasn’t blonde, they wouldn’t be making this much of a fuss. So a spoilt white girl ran away from her problems. What’s the big deal? I knocked on the familiar door and waited, running through more practice opening lines in my head. Hi, you ordered a takeaway? Fifteen pounds please Josh.

  The door opened and thankfully Josh spoke first, saving me from myself.

  ‘Jade. Hi again,’ Josh said, perplexed. ‘You shouldn’t be here. They’ll take pictures.’ He gestured at the vehicles.

  ‘I made you a shepherd’s pie.’ I held it out towards him. He paused.

  ‘Wow, you shouldn’t have.’ He wasn’t inviting me inside. Why wasn’t he inviting me inside?

  ‘I can stay and eat it with you, if you like, if you need some company?’ I tried. I held the pie out towards him and, eventually, he took it, uncertain at best.

  ‘OK, sure, thanks.’ He stood aside to let me in and my heart flipped in somersaults of joy and jubilation. My plan had succeeded! Finally! Something was going my way! I sauntered in and let Josh lead the way into the kitchen. Last time I’d been here with him I’d only managed to get as far as the hallway so this was already an improvement. The kitchen itself was exactly how I’d pictured it: minimalistic and chic; white and grey and black. It was gorgeous. I’d love to cook in a place like this.

  I thought of the lounge that must back on to this room and my memories threatened to unfurl. I tried to curtail them but I already knew what was coming. She’d been sat behind me for the entire bus journey, after all, her fingernails dug into the fleshy part of my shoulder.

  ‘Making yourself at home, are you?’ asked Olivia, her voice ringing loud in my ears. I knew she was here, of course, but she still made me jump. I mumbled back to her under my breath – this isn’t your house any more – and, turning round, hoped Josh hadn’t heard but, judging by the look on his face: he had.

  ‘Are you OK?’ he asked – which was ridiculous because it was me who was supposed to be looking after him!

  ‘Of course I’m OK!’ I said, slightly too defensively. ‘Now, sit down Josh, I want to make sure you’re eating, you look awfully thin. Where are the plates?’

  He gestured to the cupboards behind me and I sprang into action moving them to the marbled island in the centre of the room. I took a spoon from the utensil tin on the side and started serving up great ladles of dinner. This is exactly what it will be like when we’re together for real. Me cooking him supper, us living somewhere modern, and cool. As I finished serving up Josh’s portion, I bent over to inspect his meal. Something didn’t look right: pink juices oozed from the mince and the potatoes looked pale and lumpy, the tomato sauce running like dirty tap water from the main dish, pooling sheepishly at the bottom of the plate. It hadn’t cooked. My shepherd’s pie was raw. Olivia had distracted me and I’d grabbed it and left…I snatched his plate towards me and poured his pie back into the dish.

  ‘It hasn’t cooked,’ I announced to Josh, who’d gone awfully quiet. I brought the pie over to the oven and started pressing its buttons. The beast whirred into action as I found the setting for the fan.

  ‘It shouldn’t be long. Are you OK? Are you starving?’

  ‘I’m fine…’ he said, his voice trailing off. ‘I’m not so sure about you, though.’

  ‘Why do you keep saying that?’ I snapped.

  ‘Well, this is the second time you’ve turned up here unannounced and, Jade, we barely know each other. Why the sudden interest? Why the food? Why go to all this trouble to check in on me? Do you feel guilty about something?’

  ‘Well, do you?’ hissed Olivia from somewhere in the distance. His line of questioning accused me of an ulterior motive and I rushed towards him, wrapping my hands round his arms, the feel of his body rendering me speechless for a moment.

  ‘Do you know where Ava is, Jade?’

  ‘What? No. Of course I don’t.’ I was taken aback by his question. ‘She ran away, Josh… no one knows where she is.’

  ‘I don’t know Jade, look, I’m sorry, it’s just: the police are useless. David has done everything to put pressure on
them and nothing seems to be working. So, when you turn up at my doorstep, acting weird, I can’t help but wonder…’

  I noticed then that the lines under his eyes were deeper and darker than last time I’d stopped by. Poor Josh. This was really affecting him even though he didn’t really love her. He was such a caring person.

  ‘Josh, wait a minute – what did you mean when you said we don’t really know each other?’

  ‘I didn’t mean it like that exactly, obviously we’ve worked together for a long time but… we’re not friends, really, are we?’

  I wondered if I’d still have a heart left after this. Josh had no idea how many times he’d trampled on it recently.

  ‘I know things are weird at the moment, on hold, but I’d say we were more than friends, Josh. Much more than friends.’

  He looked at me like I was crazy and I took a step back.

  ‘The messages, Josh, the pictures, the…’ His blank stare said it all and I realised then that it hadn’t been Josh on the other end of my texts but someone else. Someone who’d wanted to humiliate and embarrass me.

  ‘What are you talking about? What messages?’

  ‘Oh God,’ I spluttered. ‘It was her.’ I pulled out my phone to show him and clicked into the long conversations we’d shared, the intimate things we’d said, the pictures we’d sent. ‘This definitely wasn’t you?’ I asked, about to dissolve into a pile of nothing. He shook his head. He took my phone.

  ‘What is this?’ he murmured, disbelieving what was before him. ‘This is serious, this is sick. I’m not even on social media – I thought you knew that about me, I can’t stand it.’

  ‘It was Ava,’ I said firmly, gripping the kitchen island to stop me falling, dizzy with the extent of her betrayal.

  ‘Ava wouldn’t do this,’ he retorted with total confidence, passing me my phone. ‘What would be her motive?’

  I pushed the nausea I felt to the background. ‘Josh, think about it. She was the one who put up the photo in the meeting room that day with Kai. She did that because she knew what she’d find. She knew what I’d sent you because she’d already seen it.’

  ‘I just, yeah, that’s not what happened, Jade, your photos auto-loaded when she plugged in your phone.’