The Big Book of Classic Fantasy

by The Big Book of Classic Fantasy (retail) (epub)

  “De goopher did n’ wuk no mo’ tel de nex’ summer, w’en ’long to’ds de middle er de season one er de fiel’ han’s died; en ez dat lef’ Mars Dugal’ sho’t er han’s, he went off ter town fer ter buy anudder. He fotch de noo nigger home wid ’im. He wuz er ole nigger, er de color er a gingy-cake, en ball ez a hoss-apple on de top er his head. He wuz a peart ole nigger, do’, en could do a big day’s wuk.

  “Now it happen dat one er de niggers on de nex’ plantation, one er ole Mars Henry Brayboy’s niggers, had runned away de day befo’, en tuk ter de swamp, en ole Mars Dugal’ en some er de yuther nabor w’ite folks had gone out wid dere guns en dere dogs fer ter he’p ’em hunt fer de nigger; en de han’s on our own plantation wuz all so flusterated dat we fuhgot ter tell de noo han’ ’bout de goopher on de scuppernon’ vimes. Co’se he smell de grapes en see de vimes, an atter dahk de fus’ thing he done wuz ter slip off ter de grapevimes ’dout sayin’ nuffin ter nobody. Nex’ mawnin’ he tole some er de niggers ’bout de fine bait er scuppernon’ he et de night befo’.

  “Wen dey tole ’im ’bout de goopher on de grapevimes, he ’uz dat tarrified dat he turn pale, en look des like he gwine ter die right in his tracks. De oberseah come up en axed w’at ’uz de matter; en w’en dey tole ’im Henry be’n eatin’ er de scuppernon’s, en got de goopher on ’im, he gin Henry a big drink er w’iskey, en ’low dat de nex’ rainy day he take ’im ober ter Aun’ Peggy’s, en see ef she would n’ take de goopher off’n him, seein’ ez he did n’ know nuffin erbout it tel he done et de grapes.

  “Sho nuff, it rain de nex’ day, en de oberseah went ober ter Aun’ Peggy’s wid Henry. En Aun’ Peggy say dat bein’ ez Henry did n’ know ’bout de goopher, en et de grapes in ign’ance er de conseq’ences, she reckon she mought be able fer ter take de goopher off’n him. So she fotch out er bottle wid some cunjuh medicine in it, en po’d some out in a go’d fer Henry ter drink. He manage ter git it down; he say it tas’e like whiskey wid sump’n bitter in it. She ’lowed dat ’ud keep de goopher off’n him tel de spring; but w’en de sap begin ter rise in de grapevimes he ha’ ter come en see her ag’in, en she tell him w’at e’s ter do.

  “Nex’ spring, w’en de sap commence’ ter rise in de scuppernon’ vime, Henry tuk a ham one night. Whar’d he git de ham? I doan know; dey wa’n’t no hams on de plantation ’cep’n’ w’at ’uz in de smoke-house, but I never see Henry ’bout de smoke-house. But ez I wuz a-sayin’, he tuk de ham ober ter Aun’ Peggy’s; en Aun’ Peggy tole ’im dat w’en Mars Dugal’ begin ter prune de grapevimes, he mus’ go en take ’n scrape off de sap whar it ooze out’n de cut een’s er de vimes, en ’n’int his ball head wid it; en ef he do dat once’t a year de goopher would n’ wuk agin ’im long ez he done it. En bein’ ez he fotch her de ham, she fix’ it so he kin eat all de scuppernon’ he want.

  “So Henry ’n’int his head wid de sap out’n de big grapevime des ha’f way ’twix’ de quarters en de big house, en de goopher nebber wuk agin him dat summer. But de beatenes’ thing you eber see happen ter Henry. Up ter dat time he wuz ez ball ez a sweeten’ ’tater, but des ez soon ez de young leaves begun ter come out on de grapevimes, de ha’r begun ter grow out on Henry’s head, en by de middle er de summer he had de bigges’ head er ha’r on de plantation. Befo’ dat, Henry had tol’able good ha’r ’roun’ de aidges, but soon ez de young grapes begun ter come, Henry’s ha’r begun to quirl all up in little balls, des like dis yer reg’lar grapy ha’r, en by de time de grapes got ripe his head look des like a bunch er grapes. Combin’ it did n’ do no good; he wuk at it ha’f de night wid er Jim Crow, en think he git it straighten’ out, but in de mawnin’ de grapes ’ud be dere des de same. So he gin it up, en tried ter keep de grapes down by havin’ his ha’r cut sho’t.

  “But dat wa’n’t de quares’ thing ’bout de goopher. When Henry come ter de plantation, he wuz gittin’ a little ole an stiff in de j’ints. But dat summer he got des ez spry en libely ez any young nigger on de plantation; fac’, he got so biggity dat Mars Jackson, de oberseah, ha’ ter th’eaten ter whip ’im, ef he did n’ stop cuttin’ up his didos en behave hisse’f. But de mos’ cur’ouses’ thing happen’ in de fall, when de sap begin ter go down in de grapevimes. Fus’, when de grapes ’uz gethered, de knots begun ter straighten out’n Henry’s ha’r; en w’en de leaves begin ter fall, Henry’s ha’r ’mence’ ter drap out; en when de vimes ’uz bar’, Henry’s head wuz baller ’n it wuz in de spring, en he begin ter git ole en stiff in de j’ints ag’in, en paid no mo’ ’tention ter de gals dyoin’ er de whole winter. En nex’ spring, w’en he rub de sap on ag’in, he got young ag’in, en so soopl en libely dat none er de young niggers on de plantation could n’ jump, ner dance, ner hoe ez much cotton ez Henry. But in de fall er de year his grapes ’mence’ ter straighten out, en his j’ints ter git stiff, en his ha’r drap off, en de rheumatiz begin ter wrastle wid ’im.

  “Now, ef you’d ’a’ knowed ole Mars Dugal’ McAdoo, you’d ’a’ knowed dat it ha’ ter be a mighty rainy day when he could n’ fine sump’n fer his niggers ter do, en it ha’ ter be a mighty little hole he could n’ crawl thoo, en ha’ ter be a monst’us cloudy night when a dollar git by him in de dahkness; en w’en he see how Henry git young in de spring en ole in de fall, he ’lowed ter hisse’f ez how he could make mo’ money out’n Henry dan by wukkin’ him in de cotton-fiel’. ’Long de nex’ spring, atter de sap ’mence’ ter rise, en Henry ’n’int ’is head en sta’ted fer ter git young en soopl, Mars Dugal’ up ’n tuk Henry ter town, en sole ’im fer fifteen hunder’ dollars. Co’se de man w’at bought Henry did n’ know nuffin ’bout de goopher, en Mars Dugal’ did n’ see no ’casion fer ter tell ’im. Long to’ds de fall, w’en de sap went down, Henry begin ter git ole ag’in same ez yuzhal, en his noo marster begin ter git skeered les’n he gwine ter lose his fifteen-hunder’-dollar nigger. He sent fer a mighty fine doctor, but de med’cine did n’ ’pear ter do no good; de goopher had a good holt. Henry tole de doctor ’bout de goopher, but de doctor des laff at ’im.

  “One day in de winter Mars Dugal’ went ter town, en wuz santerin’ ’long de Main Street, when who should he meet but Henry’s noo marster. Dey said ‘Hoddy,’ en Mars Dugal’ ax ’im ter hab a seegyar; en atter dey run on awhile ’bout de craps en de weather, Mars Dugal’ ax ’im, sorter keerless, like ez ef he des thought of it,—

  “ ‘How you like de nigger I sole you las’ spring?’

  “Henry’s marster shuck his head en knock de ashes off’n his seegyar.

  “ ‘ ’Spec’ I made a bad bahgin when I bought dat nigger. Henry done good wuk all de summer, but sence de fall set in he ’pears ter be sorter pinin’ away. Dey ain’ nuffin pertickler de matter wid ’im—leastways de doctor say so—’cep’n’ a tech er de rheumatiz; but his ha’r is all fell out, en ef he don’t pick up his strenk mighty soon, I spec’ I’m gwine ter lose ’im.’

  “Dey smoked on awhile, en bimeby ole mars say, ‘Well, a bahgin ’s a bahgin, but you en me is good fren’s, en I doan wan’ ter see you lose all de money you paid fer dat nigger; en ef w’at you say is so, en I ain’t ’sputin’ it, he ain’t wuf much now. I ’spec’s you wukked him too ha’d dis summer, er e’se de swamps down here don’t agree wid de san’-hill nigger. So you des lemme know, en ef he gits any wusser I’ll be willin’ ter gib yer five hund’ed dollars fer ’im, en take my chances on his livin’.’

  “Sho ’nuff, when Henry begun ter draw up wid de rheumatiz en it look like he gwine ter die fer sho, his noo marster sen’ fer Mars Dugal’, en Mars Dugal’ gin him what he promus, en brung Henry home ag’in. He tuk good keer uv ’im dyoin’ er de winter,—give ’im w’iskey ter rub his rheumatiz, en terbacker ter smoke, en all he want ter eat,—’caze a nigger w’at he could make a thousan’ dollars a year off’n did n’ grow on eve’y huckleberry bush.

  “Nex’ spring, w’en de sap ris en Henry’s ha’r commence’ ter sprout, Mars Dugal’ sole ’im ag’in, dow
n in Robeson County dis time; en he kep’ dat sellin’ business up fer five year er mo’. Henry nebber say nuffin ’bout de goopher ter his noo marsters, ’caze he know he gwine ter be tuk good keer uv de nex’ winter, w’en Mars Dugal’ buy him back. En Mars Dugal’ made ’nuff money off’n Henry ter buy anudder plantation ober on Beaver Crick.

  “But ’long ’bout de een’ er dat five year dey come a stranger ter stop at de plantation. De fus’ day he ’uz dere he went out wid Mars Dugal’ en spent all de mawnin’ lookin’ ober de vimya’d, en atter dinner dey spent all de evenin’ playin’ kya’ds. De niggers soon ’skiver’ dat he wuz a Yankee, en dat he come down ter Norf C’lina fer ter l’arn de w’ite folks how to raise grapes en make wine. He promus Mars Dugal’ he c’d make de grapevimes b’ar twice’t ez many grapes, en dat de noo winepress he wuz a-sellin’ would make mo’ d’n twice’t ez many gallons er wine. En ole Mars Dugal’ des drunk it all in, des ’peared ter be bewitch’ wid dat Yankee. Wen de darkies see dat Yankee runnin’ ’roun’ de vimya’d en diggin’ under de grapevimes, dey shuk dere heads, en ’lowed dat dey feared Mars Dugal’ losin’ his min’. Mars Dugal’ had all de dirt dug away fum under de roots er all de scuppernon’ vimes, an’ let ’em stan’ dat away fer a week er mo’. Den dat Yankee made de niggers fix up a mixtry er lime en ashes en manyo, en po’ it ’roun’ de roots er de grapevimes. Den he ’vise Mars Dugal’ fer ter trim de vimes close’t, en Mars Dugal’ tuck ’n done eve’ything de Yankee tole him ter do. Dyoin’ all er dis time, mind yer, dis yer Yankee wuz libbin’ off’n de fat er de lan’, at de big house, en playin’ kya’ds wid Mars Dugal’ eve’y night; en dey say Mars Dugal’ los’ mo’n a thousan’ dollars dyoin’ er de week dat Yankee wuz a-ruinin’ de grapevimes.

  “Wen de sap ris nex’ spring, ole Henry ’n’inted his head ez yuzhal, en his ha’r ’mence’ ter grow des de same ez it done eve’y year. De scuppernon’ vimes growed monst’s fas’, en de leaves wuz greener en thicker dan dey eber be’n dyoin’ my rememb’ance; en Henry’s ha’r growed out thicker dan eber, en he ’peared ter git younger ’n younger, en soopler ’n soopler; en seein’ ez he wuz sho’t er ban’s dat spring, havin’ tuk in consid’able noo groun’, Mars Dugal’ ’eluded he would n’ sell Henry ’tel he git de crap in en de cotton chop’. So he kep’ Henry on de plantation.

  “But ’long ’bout time fer de grapes ter come on de scuppernon’ vimes, dey ’peared ter come a change ober ’em; de leaves withered en swivel’ up, en de young grapes turn’ yaller, en bimeby eve’ybody on de plantation could see dat de whole vimya’d wuz dyin’. Mars Dugal’ tuk’n water de vimes en done all he could, but ’t wa’n’ no use: dat Yankee had done bus’ de watermillyum. One time de vimes picked up a bit, en Mars Dugal’ ’lowed dey wuz gwine ter come out ag’in; but dat Yankee done dug too close under de roots, en prune de branches too close ter de vime, en all dat lime en ashes done burn’ de life out’n de vimes, en dey des kep’ a-with’in’ en a-swivelin’.

  “All dis time de goopher wuz a-wukkin’. When de vimes sta’ted ter wither, Henry ’mence’ ter complain er his rheumatiz; en when de leaves begin ter dry up, his ha’r ’mence’ ter drap out. When de vimes fresh’ up a bit, Henry ’d git peart ag’in, en when de vimes wither’ ag’in, Henry ’d git ole ag’in, en des kep’ gittin’ mo’ en mo’ fitten fer nuffin; he des pined away, en pined away, en fine’ly tuk ter his cabin; en when de big vime whar he got de sap ter ’n’int his head withered en turned yaller en died, Henry died too,—des went out sorter like a cannel. Dey didn’t ’pear ter be nuffin de matter wid ’im, ’cep’n’ de rheumatiz, but his strenk des dwinel’ away ’tel he did n’ hab ernuff lef ter draw his bref. De goopher had got de under holt, en th’owed Henry dat time fer good en all.

  “Mars Dugal’ tuk on might’ly ’bout losin’ his vimes en his nigger in de same year; en he swo’ dat ef he could git holt er dat Yankee he ’d wear ’im ter a frazzle, en den chaw up de frazzle; en he’d done it, too, for Mars Dugal’ ’uz a monst’us brash man w’en he once git started. He sot de vimya’d out ober ag’in, but it wuz th’ee er fo’ year befo’ de vimes got ter b’arin’ any scuppernon’s.

  “W’en de wah broke out, Mars Dugal’ raise’ a comp’ny, en went off ter fight de Yankees. He say he wuz mighty glad dat wah come, en he des want ter kill a Yankee fer eve’y dollar he los’ ’long er dat grape-raisin’ Yankee. En I ’spec’ he would ’a’ done it, too, ef de Yankees had n’ s’picioned sump’n, en killed him fus’. Atter de s’render ole miss move’ ter town, de niggers all scattered ’way fum de plantation, en de vimya’d ain’ be’n cultervated sence.”

  “Is that story true?” asked Annie doubtfully, but seriously, as the old man concluded his narrative.

  “It’s des ez true ez I’m a-settin’ here, miss. Dey’s a easy way ter prove it: I kin lead de way right ter Henry’s grave ober yander in de plantation buryin’-groun’. En I tell yer w’at, marster, I would n’ ’vise you to buy dis yer ole vimya’d, ’caze de goopher ’s on it yit, en dey ain’ no tellin’ w’en it’s gwine ter crap out.”

  “But I thought you said all the old vines died.”

  “Dey did ’pear ter die, but a few un ’em come out ag’in, en is mixed in ’mongs’ de yuthers. I ain’ skeered ter eat de grapes, ’caze I knows de old vimes fum de noo ones; but wid strangers dey ain’ no tellin’ w’at mought happen. I would n’ ’vise yer ter buy dis vimya’d.”

  I bought the vineyard, nevertheless, and it has been for a long time in a thriving condition, and is often referred to by the local press as a striking illustration of the opportunities open to Northern capital in the development of Southern industries. The luscious scuppernong holds first rank among our grapes, though we cultivate a great many other varieties, and our income from grapes packed and shipped to the Northern markets is quite considerable. I have not noticed any developments of the goopher in the vineyard, although I have a mild suspicion that our colored assistants do not suffer from want of grapes during the season.

  I found, when I bought the vineyard, that Uncle Julius had occupied a cabin on the place for many years, and derived a respectable revenue from the product of the neglected grapevines. This, doubtless, accounted for his advice to me not to buy the vineyard, though whether it inspired the goopher story I am unable to state. I believe, however, that the wages I paid him for his services as coachman, for I gave him employment in that capacity, were more than an equivalent for anything he lost by the sale of the vineyard.

  Frank Richard Stockton (1834–1902) was a Philadelphia-born American writer whose fairy tales were beloved toward the end of the nineteenth century. Before he began writing, Stockton was a wood engraver, although his father wanted him to go into medicine. In 1873, he became the assistant editor of the St. Nicholas Magazine and this also ignited his literary career. Although his earlier work was mostly for children, Stockton began publishing for adult readers in the latter half of the nineteenth century. Some of Stockton’s most popular works include Rudder Grange (1879), “The Lady, or the Tiger?” (1884), and Ting-a-Ling Tales (1870). The funny and clever “The Bee-Man of Orn,” reprinted here, was adapted into an episode of the BBC series Jackanory in 1971.

  The Bee-Man of Orn

  Frank R. Stockton

  IN THE ANCIENT COUNTRY OF ORN, there lived an old man who was called the Bee-man, because his whole time was spent in the company of bees. He lived in a small hut, which was nothing more than an immense beehive, for these little creatures had built their honeycombs in every corner of the one room it contained, on the shelves, under the little table, all about the rough bench on which the old man sat, and even about the headboard and along the sides of his low bed. All day the air of the room was thick with buzzing insects, but this did not interfere in any way with the old Bee-man, who walked in among them, ate his meals, and went to sleep, without the slightest fear of being stung. He had lived with the bees so long, they had become so accustomed to him,
and his skin was so tough and hard, that the bees no more thought of stinging him than they would of stinging a tree or a stone. A swarm of bees had made their hive in a pocket of his old leathern doublet; and when he put on this coat to take one of his long walks in the forest in search of wild bees’ nests, he was very glad to have this hive with him, for, if he did not find any wild honey, he would put his hand in his pocket and take out a piece of a comb for a luncheon. The bees in his pocket worked very industriously, and he was always certain of having something to eat with him wherever he went. He lived principally upon honey; and when he needed bread or meat, he carried some fine combs to a village not far away and bartered them for other food. He was ugly, untidy, shriveled, and brown. He was poor, and the bees seemed to be his only friends. But, for all that, he was happy and contented; he had all the honey he wanted, and his bees, whom he considered the best company in the world, were as friendly and sociable as they could be, and seemed to increase in number every day.

  One day, there stopped at the hut of the Bee-man a Junior Sorcerer. This young person, who was a student of magic, necromancy, and the kindred arts, was much interested in the Bee-man, whom he had frequently noticed in his wanderings, and he considered him an admirable subject for study. He had got a great deal of useful practice by endeavoring to find out, by the various rules and laws of sorcery, exactly why the old Bee-man did not happen to be something that he was not, and why he was what he happened to be. He had studied a long time at this matter, and had found out something.

  “Do you know,” he said, when the Bee-man came out of his hut, “that you have been transformed?”