Shaking herself out of her reverie, she went downstairs, and discovered Max stood in her kitchen. After letting out a squeal of natural surprise and a little bit of terror, she burst out giggling.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you; I knocked, but you couldn’t hear me over the music.”
She felt her cheeks redden. “It’s okay, how long have you been there?”
Handing her a bunch of flowers, he smiled and replied, “Long enough to know you like singing along to Pink!” They both laughed and after a few minutes of lastminute preparations, they set off out the door.
Max couldn’t believe how hot she looked in that very tight skirt; it showed nothing but revealed everything. She had the longest legs he’d ever seen, and her top was so fitted that he had a job not to stare. He’d never desired anyone as much as he desired her. He was transfixed.
Max was a complete gentleman over dinner. The restaurant was perfect; it overlooked the beach, and after their meal, Max suggested a walk along the beach. It was breath-taking; even currently of the day the water was pure blue, and the sand was warm from a day of drinking sunlight.
As they walked, Susan longed for him to take the chance and touch her, to kiss her. It was as if Max heard her desire. He turned to her, took hold of her hand, and pulled her into him. He lent down and kissed her lips softly – it was electrifying. Susan didn’t know what to do. Dropping to the floor, running her fingers through her hair she sat in silence.
“Suzy, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” Max frowned and dropped down next to her in the sand.
“I’m not what you need, Max – please, just accept that we can’t be anything more than friends.” She stood up and wrapped her arms around herself. “You don’t know anything about me, Max. We have only just met – we’re strangers.”
He crouched down in the sand in front of her, neither knowing what to say, then he cleared his throat and spoke, wiping a small tear with his thumb. “Please, Suzy, I’m sorry I kissed you”
Susan couldn’t think straight, his touch had clouded her mind, it had felt beyond anything she could describe. She shouldn’t feel this way about someone she hardly knew.
“It’s okay, I’ll walk you home.”
She wanted to talk, but couldn’t find the words she needed, instead they walked back to her house in silence. At the door, he turned, aware that she probably wanted some space to think things over; he went to walk towards his car, but Susan shouted over to him, “Hey, don’t go. Come in and have a coffee.”
In the kitchen she poured them both a coffee and settled down at the table. She spoke softly, “I’m sorry about my reaction, Max, it’s just that I’m not what you’re looking for, trust me.”
Max looked into her eyes and could see the pain
“I’m sorry, Suzy, I don’t know what came over me; I just felt an instant connection with you.” His head dropped and he looked at the floor. "I understand if you just want to be friends, it won’t happen again.” He downed the rest of his coffee and stood. He made his way to the door, but before he left, he turned and said, “That first kiss you gave me left its mark on me. I never forgot you, Suzy.” He left.
Max had only been gone a few minutes, but it felt like hours.
“Fuck it!” she growled, pulling out her phone to text Polly.
Poll need help. Max kissed me! I want him so much need advice xoxo Only a few minutes passed before her phone buzzed.
Polly: bbz just go for it xoxo
She picked up her phone and sent Max a message, telling him to come back over; she needed to tell him everything and deep down she hoped he would still want her – she was ready to start her life again.
She grabbed a glass of wine and then there was a knock at the door. She braced herself for what she was about to do.
“Hey, you! Come in.”
He wiped his feet on the mat and smiled curiously.
Susan waved him in and said, “Listen, I’m sorry for messing you about, but I really need talk to you. I’m going to tell you what happened to me, if that’s okay.”
Max made his way through to the lounge and sat down in the armchair. He could sense how serious things were and he wanted to make sure he was comfortable. She handed him a glass of wine and sat on the arm of the sofa.
“Are you sitting comfortably?” she joked, but she wasn’t really trying to be funny.
Max nodded. “I want to hear this, Suzy. I want to know you.”
“If you’re sure.”
Yes, I’m sure.”
“Okay then, let me begin.” She drank deeply from her glass and began. “I didn’t stay at the first family house for long; it was hard work ignoring me and I became ‘problematic’. They rang the social and told them that I was trouble. They said they couldn’t handle me, so I was placed into the care of a young couple who had no kids. Perhaps there was a reason God had chosen not to give them children; he knew that they were evil – I mean really evil, Max; the kind of evil that you read about in the papers or see on the news. They looked like a really nice young couple on the outside but behind the gloss, they abused me in every way possible – in every way.”
Max sat forward in his chair. He had expected it to be bad, but he hadn’t guessed just how bad.
“In the end, I was rescued at the age of fourteen because they beat me so badly, I had to be rushed to hospital; the authorities saw that something was terribly wrong. My foster parents had said that I had fallen down the stairs, but that didn’t account for the burns or the scars that still mark me. I don’t remember much about my stay in hospital, but I remember the moment they told me I had lost the baby.” Max gasped, “Oh, Suzy, I am so sorry. That’s so sad.”
Susan walked over to the bookshelf and pulled out a large folder. She handed it to him; inside were newspaper clippings about the case. It had been quite a news story. She was done. She left him in the lounge and went through to the kitchen to get some water. He could see her from where he sat, and he saw just how broken she was. It didn’t scare him. It didn’t want to make him flee; he wanted to fix her.
He walked up behind her, took her in his arms and kissed her softly before letting her cry in is arms. He whispered in her ear, “I’m not going anywhere tonight, or ever, if you want me?”
He carried her into the living room and placed her on the sofa. The evening had exhausted her, and she was almost asleep. He covered her with the throw and went to the kitchen to make himself a coffee. As the kettle boiled, he examined the newspaper clippings. They didn’t say much about the girl, just that had remained in hospital for several weeks before social services had come and taken her to safety. The thought of it all made him feel sick to the stomach. He couldn’t read anymore. He made his coffee and switched off the light. Somehow, he would have to get her to destroy them; they should not continue to define her – not anymore.
He sat in the chair and watched her sleep. She was beautiful; her thick dark curls fell over her cheek. Her lips were soft that he wanted to spend the rest of his life kissing them.
Susan woke feeling very strange. She rubbed her eyes and looked at her watch. It was 3:30am. It took her a moment to orientate herself. She saw Max fast asleep in the chair. He had stayed; she couldn’t believe that after everything she had said. Her movements disturbed his sleep and he opened his eyes.
“Hey, what are you doing up? I hope you don’t mind me being here, I just didn’t want to leave you alone.”
Susan smiled and replied, “Its fine, I’m just surprised that you stayed.”
Max stood and walked over to her before wrapping his arms around her. He whispered in her ear, “I’m not leaving you – not again. I let you down when I was small. I let them take you. It’s partly my fault. I’m not letting you down again.” His lips brushed her cheek.
Pulling away, she looked deeply into his eyes. She knew he was true. She’d had spent so long living with the thought that love would never happen for her. She took his hand and led him up
the stairs.
Max pulled back for a second. “What are you doing? Are you sure about this?”
She stopped and kissed him on the cheek. “I just want you to hold me, Max. I want you to make me feel safe, and the bed is much more comfortable than the arm chair.”
Max followed her into the bedroom. They lay on the bed fully clothed, curled up in the warmth of each other’s bodies.
CHAPTER 3
The next morning, Susan woke up and turned to see Max still sleeping next to her.
“It wasn’t a dream,” she whispered, kissing his cheek before going to the bathroom.
She stood in front of the mirror and for the first time she looked at herself and wasn’t ashamed; this was the person he loved, and that’s all that mattered to her. The scars that remained on her body were no longer a reminder of pain they were a reminder of the women she had become: they were a reminder that she had survived. Now, with Max by her side, she felt she could overcome almost anything.
Max smelt bacon cooking downstairs. He headed downs and stood in the kitchen doorway. Susan was singing along to a song on the radio as she cooked.
“Hey you!” he said.
“Hey back at ya. Fancy some bacon?”
Max walked to the table. “Yes please.”
Susan couldn’t help grinning. “You got any plans for today then?” she asked, hoping that whatever they were they might involve her.
“Well actually I do; after eating my breakfast I’m going to take a shower, drive home and get changed, and then we are going out of town for the day,” Max replied.
He sat down at the table and Susan thought he looked right at home. Max headed home to prepare for the day.
Once showered she flopped down on her bed and relished the feeling of being so alive. She stroked the scar on her belly. ‘Somethings can’t be healed so easily,’ she thought. Susan hadn’t told Max the extent of her injures that resulted in her ending up in hospital on a life support machine. Deep down she feared she could never tell him.
After picking Susan up, Max drove her to the lakes. They strolled through a little park and set up their picnic. It was perfect.
“Hey, you’re quiet is everything okay?" he asked, holding her in his arms.
“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just all a little overwhelming,” Susan replied.
“You can talk to me you know, Suzy. Haven’t I proved that already? Nothing you tell me will get rid of me; you’re stuck with me now and forever.” He spoke softly into her ear and little goose bumps travelled up her arms.
“It’s just all so new to me; this doesn’t happen to me, and I don’t really know how to act.”
They spent the afternoon walking around the lake before driving back to Susan’s. It had been a truly perfect day, and Susan couldn’t help dreaming of a life where they did this every weekend until they were old and grey and full of family stories.
“I need to go home for a bit,” he said. “I’ve got some paperwork to do. Do you want me to come back later?”
She nodded. Everything was moving so fast, but it felt right. “Yeah, that would be good. I can cook us dinner if you want?” Susan said as she climbed out of the car.
Max flashed her a smile. “Great! Want me to bring anything?”
“Just you will be perfect.” She winked at him. She waved him off as he beeped his horn.
Tonight, was going to be perfect.
There was a playful tap at the door before Max walked in with the biggest bunch of flowers she’d ever seen.
Max pulled her in for a hug, squashing some of the flowers between them and causing their scent to drift.
“These are lovely, thank you! Drink?”
Max followed her lead into the kitchen where dinner was in full production. “You have been busy!” His eyes roamed up and down her body, admiring the dress she’d picked out.
“Is this all this for me?”
Susan nodded and poured out the wine before checking in on the dinner.
After dinner, Max took Susan’s hand and led her to the sitting room. Placing his arm around her waist, he led her slowly in time to the music. She looked stunning. The deep purple silk wrapped around her breasts enticingly. He thought about kissing her hard and pushing her back onto the sofa – but he knew, despite his mounting passion, he would have to take things slowly; win her trust.
He stroked the back of her neck and she dropped her head onto his shoulder. He let his hand roam down her back and kissed her neck. The bristles on his chin tickled her. She yawned. It had been a long, exhausting couple of days.
“Tired?” he whispered.
She nodded.
“Bed?”
She smiled and nodded again. He flicked off the stereo, killed the lights and led her up to bed.
They lay on the bed and she lay in his arms. There was an unsaid understanding that this wasn’t a straightforward, ‘normal’ situation.
“Is it okay if I stroke you?” he asked.
She looked at him hard and nodded her head. As he stroked the scar on her stomach, Susan’s body flinched at his touch. “Why do you flinch when I touch you there, Suzy?”
“Not tonight, Max. Some scars can’t heal. I don’t want to talk about it now.” She pulled him in for a kiss.
Susan felt completely safe and dared to wonder if this was what her life was going to be like from now on with Max by her side. She pictured them old and grey sitting in the garden.
“Max,” she whispered, “please do something for me?” She looked deep into his eyes.
Stroking her hair, he replied, “Anything, Suzy.”
“Please don’t call me Suzy. I’m not that person anymore.” Confused he just stared at her.
“He, the man that did this to me, used to call me Suzy. Before I came here, no one called me that but him.”
“I had no idea. I’m sorry… Susan.”
“You weren’t to know, it’s just that I don’t want to think about that when I’m with you.” He held her whilst she drifted off to sleep.
Next morning, Max asked if she’d like to meet his mother. Her first thought was to say no, but he’d done so much for her, and if this was the beginning of their life together, she needed to try and do it properly.
As he parked the car in the drive, Susan’s nerves kicked in.
“What if she doesn’t like me?” she asked nervously.
He reached over and took her chin. “You, my love, have nothing to worry about; she has been dying to meet you since I mentioned you were home the other day.” He gave her a small kiss on the side of her cheek before getting out of the car.
As they approached the door, Max’s mother, Beth, came running from the door with her arms spread wide with intention of wrapping Susan in a big embrace. “Susan I’m so happy to finally see you again after all these years.”
“You remember me?”
Beth smiled. “Of course, I remember you! We could never get you to leave our house.”
With a giggle they all went in to have lunch.
When they arrived back at Susan’s, she reached for him and pulled his hands around her waist. She had decided that afternoon. Sitting in Beth’s kitchen and looking at the family photos of Max as a little boy, she realized that she wanted to live a normal, happy life with Max. She wanted to have a family, and she wanted to make right the things that had gone wrong. There were ways around the physical barriers, and she knew that with Max in her life, they could do the impossible. She leaned in and pressed her lips onto his. For a moment, the earth stood still. Nothing existed but the two of them.
“What’s that for?” he asked.
“I don’t know, it just felt… right. I want to see where we can take this,” she said, taking hold of his hand. She led him into the hallway and then up the stairs. Max was unsure she was ready for this, but he wanted every part of her so badly that he pushed his concerns aside and followed her lead; this was the decision he had made. Susan wondered if she should have perhaps had a glass of wi
ne or two, to help her stop the thinking. It was the thinking that did the damage. She knew she wanted to do this; she needed to do it. Finally, she wanted to be free from all the bad associations attached to intimacy, and love. She sat on the edge of the bed and fought back tears.
Max looked at her and bit down on his lip. “Please don’t cry. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I don’t want to push you into anything. There’s no rush, I’ve waited years for you.”
“I want to make love with you,” she said. “I need to break free from the fear.” Most of my life I’ve been broken; I never thought I would feel again – and then you came along. The moment I met you I knew everything had changed.”
He stroked her soft, dark curls. Her lips quivered with his touch. Taking his time, he undressed her. Susan’s body trembled at his touch, but it wasn’t fear or shame, this was soft and sensual. Max slowly laid sweet, undivided kisses on every inch of her broken and scared body, giving her time. Slowly his hand moved up and down over her hips. He kissed the nape of her neck and sent shivers of desire through her.
“Max,” she groaned from deep within.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No.” It was as though her body called for him.
Max’s hands moved over her breasts, making small concentric circles, “Max,” she groaned again.
He laid her down on the bed, coaxing her body to respond. He paused and looked deep into her eyes, asking permission.
She nodded, pulling his hips towards her.
Susan cried out in pleasure, tilting her head back. She mirrored his movements until Max gripped her thighs as his body stiffened.
“Oh God, Susan…God, you’re so perfect!” he groaned with pleasure.
Something Missing (The True Love Series Book 1) Page 3