Charlie's Choice

by Zina Abbott

  “Many thanks. Now, I just need to improve my spear-throwing. It’s already a humiliation that I am learning these skills at such an old age. Thank you for bringing me somewhere other than where the boys much younger than me are honing their skills doing the same thing.”

  “We will from now on. However, I had to put you in your place for having deserted the Kansa to live in the white world these many years. You will prove yourself a warrior soon, if that is what you want.”

  “I do want that.”

  Eyes-like-hawk grew serious. “You have been born into two nations. You do understand, don’t you, the chiefs will not wish to make you a warrior if you plan to return to the white world. If you wish to be approved, you will need to choose.”

  Charlie dropped his grin. “I know. I still must work out in my mind what I want for my future. First, I must learn what it will be like for me in both worlds. Then, I will choose where I will stay. I have a pretty good idea of what it will be like for me if I continue to try to find my place among the Americans. I will never be fully accepted.”

  “There will be some among the Kansa who will look down on you because of your white blood. However, you will be more accepted in Fool Chief’s camp.”

  “Why is it some are so against the mixed-bloods? Do they fear even if we live among the Kansa, we bring the white world with us?”

  Charlie watched his cousin shake his head with regret.

  “The Kansa and some of the white traders like your father were once friends. Even with the diseases that followed the white man that caused us to sicken and die, we did not hate the white man. Many in the tribe were not happy with our leaders when many years ago before the time of even your uncle, the Kansa entered into a treaty with the whites to give them much of our land. White Plume’s bargaining for special land rights for the half-breeds he favored did not help. However, when the whites told us we must give up where we were living and move to this land that changed everything forever.”

  Charlie smirked. “And now the government of the whites has opened up the old Kansa hunting territory this side of the Missouri River to white settlement. The whites now invade the land like swarms of vermin. It has been good for my father’s business. Some are farmers, but many are fortune-seekers, looking for gold out west. They cause trouble.”

  Eyes-like-hawk shook his head in disgust. “It happened after you left the tribe, Grey Squirrel, but we traveled for days to reach this land the whites said we could have after we sold our land to the north. When we arrived, we found a large wagon train of freighters on our land. They immediately attacked us. They also began to sell much whiskey to our warriors so they could take advantage of us. The white men have not honored our rights to our land. The Americans squat on our land, waiting for the day the government will push us off onto land too poor for our women to farm. Already, it is often not safe for our women to work the fields unless some of our men are nearby to protect them from white encroachers. What does the government man say? He wants Kansa warriors to work the land like women. Only white men are foolish enough to do such work.”

  Grey Squirrel tamped down his disgust at his cousin’s words. He jutted his chin in defiance. “So that is why some will judge me unworthy to become a warrior, even though I had nothing to do with what happened to the Kansa.” He narrowed his eyes in resentment as Eyes-like-hawk slowly nodded.

  “That is the way of it. Many Kansa want no part of those who have white blood in them. But, as you know, like your English father who married Owl Woman, there were many French traders who married among the Kansa. They wished to live together for everyone’s good. All the Americans know how to do is take from the Kansa. However, this camp to which my father belongs is more accepting those of mixed blood. That is why so many mixed bloods live close around our camp. You can find a wife from among them and make a good life here.”

  “I have not yet decided, Cousin, but I need to figure out soon where my future lies. I do not think I can look for a good future among the whites.

  “The reason why you do not have a good future among the white is why many in the tribe have nothing good to say about the white man.” Eyes-like-hawk grinned. “However, we Kansa still like to get our hands on the goods the whites provide. Your rifle would have made a nice gift to my father.”

  Charlie looked at his feet. “It is my father’s. He must have guessed at my state of mind when I left his trading post this time, and worried I might make a gift of it. He allowed me to bring it last year for the buffalo hunt, but refused to allow it this year. He says we are not allowed to trade the newer rifles to any of the tribes. Some have the old-style muskets that are not as accurate, but that is all the Indian agents will allow them to have.”

  Charlie grew uncomfortable under the intense stare from his cousin.

  “That is the kind of choice you must make, my cousin. If you wish to become a warrior and live among the Kansa, your loyalty must be to the Kansa.”

  “I will always have a loyalty to my father. If I help get rifles for the Kansa, they will have to come from somewhere else. I have already told several men to not look to me to bring liquor as part of the gifts from my father’s store. He will not allow it and I can see for myself whiskey is destroying what is left of the strength of the Kansa warriors.” Charlie broke off his moralizing and offered his cousin his white man’s grin. “But rifles are another matter. I would feel better going on the summer hunt if I had a good rifle rather than the bow and arrows and the spear I will be carrying.”

  “I will think on your words, my cousin. I cannot say I agree with all you say, but I can see you are in a difficult position.” The look in Eyes-like-hawk grew mischievous. “I will go home now to my wife. With the food gifts you brought which I gave to her, I plan to enjoy a good meal. If my father’s wife has not prepared anything to your liking, come over and join us. Meantime, you who wish to become a great warrior, it is time for you to stay behind and take on your first foe.”

  Charlie screwed his forehead in confusion. “What foe?” He glanced to either side of them. “I see no one but us.”

  Eyes-like-hawk softly laughed. “You did not spot the little bird that has been watching you? Do not look now, my cousin, but one of the women followed us here. She stands behind that screen of bushes to the north side of the path we used.”

  “One of the women? I thought they all went away after we sneaked off from Uncle’s home.”

  “This one was not among them. She is from Hard Chief’s camp. You remember Meadowlark, the daughter of Spotted Horse? She went by Sings-like-meadowlark when she was younger. Maybe she hid somewhere else earlier, but she is here now. I suspect she is following you, not me.”

  With great effort, Charlie resisted the urge to look in the direction his cousin had described to see if he could see his childhood friend. “I do not know why she follows me. Surely, she is married by now. I want no trouble with her husband.”

  Eyes-like-hawk slowly shook his head. “No, she is not married. She is the youngest, and her father has spoiled her. A well-respected warrior of her band has offered to marry her, but her father will not force her to accept the man.” Charlie’s cousin snorted. “She may be quiet, but she is stubborn, that one.”

  “Why is she here? Does she not live several miles from here?”

  “Yes. You will need to ask her yourself why she is here.” Eyes-like-hawk grew serious. “Do not consider her for a wife for yourself, Gray Squirrel. Her father is very demanding of any man who wishes to marry one of his daughters. Besides being a warrior and providing an acceptable gift to ask for a wife, he wishes all his family to marry full-blood Kansa. If you work hard enough, you can prove yourself in all ways to satisfy even Spotted Horse, except one. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to overcome your birth. You would do well to choose a wife from the half-bloods who live around this camp where your mixed blood will be more accepted.”

  Charlie grunted in disgust. “It is not the first time I have run into this
problem, and it will not be the last.” He eyed his cousin with confusion. “I saw her from afar last year but she made no effort to talk to me then. Why would she wish to speak with me now?”

  Eyes-like-hawk grinned. “There is only one way to find out, my cousin. As soon as I leave, walk over and talk to her.”

  An expression of panic flashed across Charlie’s face. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Then listen to what she says. Gray Squirrel, if you plan to count coup with the Cheyenne, or risk your scalp stealing horses, you must show courage. You can start practicing now by walking over and talking to one Kansa woman.”

  .

  .

  .

  .

  Chapter 6

  ~o0o~

  M Eadowlark studied the two men with interest as they quietly spoke She watched Eyes-like-hawk leave the clearing where Gray Squirrel practiced with the bow and arrow. Once Eyes-like-hawk left, and Gray Squirrel turned to stare at her hiding place, she knew they had known all along she followed them and spied on them. She stepped away from her screen of greenery and slowly walked the path to the clearing until she stood three spear-lengths away from Gray Squirrel. For several moments they remained silent at they stared at one another.

  Gray Squirrel raised an eyebrow with curiosity. “It is good to see you again, Meadowlark, although it is a surprise.” He paused. “You followed us here?”

  Meadowlark quelled the nervousness coursing through her. She struggled to force her body to remain still and her face expressionless. Gray Squirrel appeared even more handsome up close. His body no longer wore the stretched-up thinness of one growing quickly out of boyhood. His shoulders had broadened from what she recalled of watching him from a distance the previous year. He had bulked out into the physique of a more mature man. He may not spend most of his time in the white world practicing the skills of a hunter and warrior, but however he spent his time had built up his strength.

  Meadowlark slowly nodded. “Yes, Jumps-like-gray-squirrel. I heard you came back to the tribe.” She watched him flinch when she spoke his childhood name. She suspected he realized that if he lived among the Kansa, he would have earned a warrior’s name by now. “I wished to know if it is true you plan to stay. Last summer you only remained for a few months for the excitement of the buffalo hunt, and then you returned to the white world.” She waited patiently for his answer. She watched as Gray Squirrel canted his head and studied her with curiosity.

  “Why do you wish to know, Meadowlark? I came here last year. You did not seek me out then to ask this question.” He shook his head and looked away. “I guess I came to find myself. I…” Gray Squirrel stopped mid-sentence, his expression a grimace. He turned to Meadowlark. “I’m not sure I wish to talk about it. You said you heard I came back to the tribe. I know how the women like to talk. Meadowlark, I don’t wish to offend you or accuse you of anything, but I’m not sure I want my thoughts spread as gossip among all the camps. I already get enough questions from my uncle’s friends.”

  And Eyes-like-hawk, Meadowlark thought.

  “I admit it is from gossiping women I heard of your return. However, I seldom spend time with such women. It is as important to me as it is to you that what is said between us today does not leave this clearing. That goes for your uncle and cousin as well as the women.” Meadowlark spoke her last sentence as a command. She held her head high under his scrutiny and waited.

  Starting at his forehead, Gray Squirrel ran his fingers through his long hair that fell past his shoulders and down his back. She guessed it was a gesture he had learned in the white world, for it was not something known among the Kansa men. He looked away again, and then took several steps closer as he captured her gaze with his. Although he still stood several feet away from her, she swallowed at the magnetic pull she felt due to his closeness.

  “I recently learned the hard way that for a surety there is no good place for me in the white world. There is not even the hope that if I work hard, I will be accepted on my own merits. All the Americans see is I am part Indian. The white man’s laws do not even recognize my father’s marriage to Owl Woman, which alone keeps me from having certain legal rights among them. I came to see if it will be better for me among the Kansa.”

  “The Kansa appreciate your help with the buffalo hunt. Still, they will not fully accept you unless you become a warrior who chooses to live among us.”

  Grey Squirrel nodded and offered a hint of a smile. “I know. It is why I convinced my cousin to help me prepare. If you saw me before we came to this clearing…”

  “I watched you. You have many admirers among the women, but the young men and boys enjoyed a good laugh at your expense.” Meadowlark watched the smile drop from Gray Squirrel’s face which, in spite of his complexion that was darker than that of a white man, could not hide his flush of embarrassment.

  “Yes, that was my cousin’s way to see if I was willing to pay the price to hunt buffalo like a true Kansa hunter. He said I must do well during the hunt if he wishes me to go with him on a raiding party to the Cheyenne. Eyes-like-hawk said they drove the tribe away from the first herd they came upon during the winter hunt. The men want revenge. It will be good sport.”

  Meadowlark bit back the snide remark she wished to voice regarding Eyes-like-hawk’s attitude regarding the situation. She wished to make a comment about the danger of antagonizing the Cheyenne by stealing their horses, but refrained. She had learned Gray Squirrel rode one pony into the reservation, and the second pony with supplies he gave to his uncle. If he intended to obtain horses to give as a gift to a prospective father-in-law—her father—to persuade the man to allow him to marry his daughter, he would need to steal them from one of the other tribes.

  “Eyes-like-hawk is one to ridicule you before he agrees to help you. He has never liked me.”

  Gray Squirrel’s mouth spread into a wide grin that accentuated the square jaw and teeth he had inherited from his white father. “Eyes-like-hawk was always jealous of you. When we were children, I preferred to spend my time with you rather than follow him around and hero-worship him. He does not dislike you. He told me you were here and that I should find out why you came.”

  Meadowlark watched the man before her grow serious again.

  “Please tell me, Meadowlark. Why do you wish to know why I returned?”

  Instead of answering, Meadowlark asked him a question of her own. “You said you will see if there is a place for you among the Kansa. Do you not have a wife among the whites? Or, like your father, do you plan to have one wife in the white world and another wife among the Kansa?”

  Meadowlark watched the flesh around Grey Squirrel’s eyes tighten as he shook his head. She did not know what had happened during the years, but from his glower, she suspected she brought up a subject painful to him.

  “No, I have no wife among the whites—no woman at all. If I should decide to marry, I will not have more than one wife like my father. I know what it has cost me.”

  His comment confused Meadowlark, but she chose to not delve into it. “There are siblings by his other wife?”

  “Two brothers, both much younger than me. At first, I resented them when, after their mother died, they came to live with me and the half-Potawatomi woman who took care of me. However, they looked up to me, and I soon learned it was up to me to protect them. Unlike me who was forced to settle with what Susan Morningstar could teach me, they were allowed to attend school with the other American children. However, that did not stop the teasing they received for being cared for by a half-breed and living with a half-breed brother. I would not allow others to fight with them because of me.” He paused and looked at her intently. “They are now old enough to take care of themselves and help our father if I decide to stay among the Kansa. Besides…” He paused, and his voice softened. “They are of an age it will be better for them without me around.”

  Although she suspected Gray Squirrel had not intended to, he revealed to Meadowlark a strength
of character in accepting his half-brothers and looking out for them. A sadness swept over her at the thought he felt his family was better off without him. “If you choose to become a warrior among the Kansa, you will also be expected to marry among us. A Kansa wife will expect you to shave or pluck out the hairs on your face.” Meadowlark held her breath as she waited for his response. She knew she had shocked him by bringing up such a personal topic. However, she needed to know his level of seriousness about learning the Kansa ways, and for that she must have his attention.

  Surprised at her words, Gray Squirrel jerked his head back. Next, his face lit with a teasing grin. “Why is that, Meadowlark? There are others with mixed blood that grow hair on their faces, although, like me, they do not have a heavy beard or moustache. The women who live near the same camp as my uncle do not seem to mind.”

  “Perhaps the mixed-blood women do not. A traditional Kansa woman expects her husband to look like a Kansa warrior, not a white man who wears a porcupine on his face.”

  Gray Squirrel dropped his smile. “And you are a traditional Kansa woman, am I right, Meadowlark?”

  At Meadowlark’s nod, Gray Squirrel narrowed his eyes. He took another step closer and folded his arms. “Let’s talk about you for a change, Meadowlark. What about your choices? You are a beautiful woman. Why are you not married? Eyes-like-hawk says a warrior has offered for you, but you told your father you do not wish to marry him.”

  Meadowlark knew she had already spoken in too forward a manner. She refused to say anything that might cast others in a bad light. “It is not because the man is not worthy. Broken Wing is a well-respected warrior.”

  Gray Squirrel scrunched his forehead as he searched his memory. Next, he stared at her. “Broken Wing? He’s an older man, about your father’s age. Your father is not a young warrior. You are his fifth child by White Dove.”