by Blair Young
With another thrust and the feeling of his strong hands on my ass, I couldn’t take anymore. The warmth that spread over me was unlike anything I’d ever felt before in my life. It was more intense than the first time he and I had sex, and the waves that crashed through me took me to a whole new level.
I moaned, kissing his neck as I came hard, clenching my thighs around him as he came inside me. He let out a moan of his own as he filled me, his cock pulsing and emptying, giving me his entire load.
We were both out of breath, the lust that had been between us being satisfied for the moment. I knew it wasn’t going to be long before the sexual tension grew once more, but, for now, it felt good just to be in each other’s arms, just to hang onto the moment.
When I felt like this, I knew it didn’t matter what anyone else said or did. I knew that not even Susan could come between us. It was me and Damon against the world, and no one could do anything to hurt me.
But, it was short lived. Before too long, he had to pull out of me and we had to get dressed. We didn’t know when Susan would be home, and I didn’t want to think about what was going to happen when she did. At least, not if she caught us that way.
She had made it clear that we weren’t to see each other, and it was something I had to remind Damon of once we were dressed.
“You know my mother can’t tell us we can’t be together,” he said again.
“This is her house, Damon,” I reminded him. “Whether she’s your foster mom or not, this is still her house, and she has the right to say that.”
“But we’re nearly adults, and she’s not our real mom,” he argued. “I’m not going to live my life based on what some woman who took care of me for a few years thinks.”
“You should give her more credit than that,” I told him. “She’s taken care of you for more than a few years.”
He sighed and shook his head. I knew he hated that I was taking Susan’s side in this, but there wasn’t anything else I could do. The facts were the facts, and she did own the house, and she was technically our guardian.
It didn’t matter that I didn’t know why my parents had chosen her, and it didn’t matter that Damon didn’t want her to be his foster parent anymore. It didn’t even matter that he and I were both nearly legal adults.
That meant Susan got to tell us what to do, and she made it clear we weren’t going to be dating. I worried about her sending one of us away if we were to go against her– and that person would likely be me.
Though there was a large part of me that wasn’t happy with living with her, and an even larger part of me that didn’t understand why, I still didn’t relish the thought of leaving, either. I didn’t want to go through finding another school, making new friends, and risking all this happening for yet a third time.
It was easier to just put up with what life had given us now, and we could move on when graduation happened.
Right now, I wasn’t even sure I was going to make it until then considering the way the kids at school were treating me. It was hard to even get up in the morning, let alone go to school and see them.
But, I would push through. I had been through so much already, I wasn’t going to give up yet, and I wasn’t going to do anything that would make life harder than it already was. I couldn’t. I couldn’t take much more and stay sane.
“I just don’t know why you worry so much what she thinks,” Damon said. He seemed to care more than he was trying to let on, and I felt bad.
“Because this is her house,” I said again. “I’ve got to get some of my own homework done, work on these problems and I’ll let you know how you did when you’re done.”
Before he had the chance to argue with me, I left the room, heading straight for my own and closing the door behind me. I knew using Susan to keep distance between us was a terrible excuse, but I didn’t know what else to do.
There was so much confusion in my life, I didn’t know how to handle any of it. I just knew that I wasn’t happy, and something was going to have to change.
I wanted answers and, until I got those answers, I would continue to live in chaos. All I could do was push through from one day to the next and hope for things to get better in the future. Even if that meant I’d never get to be with Damon. Even if that meant I’d never find out who murdered my parents.
The one thing I did know was that they wanted me here, and there was no changing that. So, I would just have to do the best I could to make do.
There was no other choice.
Chapter 4
Sutton
I sketched on my notebook. Something that was odd for me to do during class, but the teacher didn’t mind as long as we paid attention to what she was talking about as we doodled. Several of the other students were notorious for drawing during the lessons, and they all had excellent grades, prompting the teacher to pass it off as something they did because it helped them focus and learn.
But, I wasn’t focused on the lesson, not in the slightest. It wasn’t because of the drawing that kept me from listening to what she had to say. It wasn’t because of the fact I really wasn’t interested in history anymore.
It was Damon.
He had been on my mind since we hooked up the day before, and I couldn’t get him off my mind now. I wanted to, I tried to, but he lingered.
All I could think about was the fact that he and I had hooked up again, and what that meant. Of course, I wanted to tell myself that it didn’t mean anything. It was just something that happened, but I couldn’t shake from my head the fact that I felt bad about it once more.
You can’t really say that you regret doing it, but there’s no denying that you do feel bad about yourself after you hook up. But why? What is it about him and the situation that makes you feel bad?
You were the one who wanted to give him your virginity in the first place, and now that you have, you wonder if it was really the right thing to do? Of course it was if that’s what you wanted.
Would it be this big of a deal if it wasn’t for Susan? She was the one who told the two of you to break up in the first place, so perhaps she’s the reason you aren’t sure you should have slept with him. But then, you were feeling this way already – before Susan told you to break up.
You didn’t regret the fact that you slept with him, but there was still that feeling of being off. Like something wasn’t quite right and you perhaps shouldn’t have done that.
I fidgeted with my pencil in spite of myself. The teacher was too engrossed in the lesson to notice anything I was doing, and I was glad for the moment to be lost in thought. If there was anything that I had to catch up on, I knew I could later.
Right now, I had to admit it was hard for me to focus on just about anything. I could only think of Damon. He was a sort of addiction in my life. There was something about him that was so powerful. Something that kept me from breaking it off, even if I knew it was the best thing I could hope to do for myself.
I knew it was only going to get more complicated the longer I let this go on, and I wasn’t sure how to deal with that. I didn’t think life could get more complicated than it already had, but then, the thought of Molly finding out about the fact that he and I had hooked up again made me sick to my stomach.
Is there anything else she could do that would make your life worse? She already got her revenge on you for stealing Damon in the first place, and it’s not like the two of them hooked up again after you broke up with Damon.
How could she? He’s been all over you since the day Susan told you that you can’t see each other anymore. He even said again yesterday that he thought we should do what we wanted and let her deal with it.
That’s not what’s going to happen. That would be just about the worst thing you could do if you’re going to stay in her house. If she finds out that you are hooking up again, what are you going to tell her? She’ll send you away.
She’s been taking care of Damon since he was in fourth grade, if it comes down to it, do you really thi
nk she’s going to let you stay in the house? You don’t even know why your parents chose her to be your guardian in the first place. Do you really think they worked out what was going to happen if I ended up sleeping with Damon?
Susan said mom called and told her what happened with the bullying, but that didn’t stop her from giving Susan the right to adopting you when she passed. But then, you can’t exactly say that mom would have thought you would fall in love with or even just sleep with the guy who almost got you killed.
I sighed. Whether Damon had sent that text message or not all those years ago, it was because of him that I almost did kill myself in middle school. At least, at the time I thought it was. If I had gone through with the act, then what would he have said?
What would he have done, really? I would have died thinking that it was all his fault, that he wanted me to kill myself. Now, even if it wasn’t him, at the time, the damage was done.
And yet you go and sleep with him.
Twice.
With a sigh, I realized the teacher was telling us to wrap up our work and put our books away. There wasn’t ever much for homework with history, so I still wasn’t worried about it. I just knew lunch was coming, and I didn’t really look forward to sitting in the cafeteria for an hour.
But, there was no changing the schedule for school, so I gathered my things, tucked them in my backpack, and headed out of the classroom.
Abby met me as soon as I was in the hall.
“You looked like you were a million miles away, in there,” she said with a small smile.
I chuckled. “Sorry. I was just lost in thought.”
“Damon? Or the things that are going on here?” she asked as she looked around.
“A little of this, a little of that,” I said with a shrug. I couldn’t deny that I was still bothered with what was being said around the school. Though none of the students really had anything to say to me personally, there wasn’t any denying that they were still talking.
I could see the looks they were giving me as I walked by. I could see the fact they held up their hands when they gossiped to each other, hiding the fact they were talking to each other about me.
There wasn’t much they could do to be subtle when I knew that’s what they were talking about. I felt like a freak, there was no denying that.
“At least you don’t have to deal with Molly anymore. She seems to be avoiding you,” Abby commented. I nodded.
“There was just that bit of a standoff we had in the hall the other day, but I think she was more trying to see how I would react if she was in the area than trying to really get in my face,” I said with a shrug.
“Just the sort of thing she’d do,” Abby said as she shook her head. “The girl thrives on drama.”
“Evidently the entire school does,” I said.
“Don’t worry about them,” Abby told me again. “You know something’s going to go down that’s going to make them forget all about you.”
“I’m sure the next thing that goes down is going to just remind them about me all over again,” I said rather bitterly.
“Don’t think that way,” Abby said quickly. “Really. The more you dwell on what they are talking about, the more you’re going to obsess over it. They have no idea what’s going on in your life for real, so just ignore them.”
I nodded, though I knew that wasn’t going to happen. It was impossible not to think about them when they were all around me.
But, we were both suddenly distracted from our conversation when Chad came running up to us. I hadn’t spoken to him since the night he tried to force himself on me in my room, and I quickly turned away.
“Go away, Chad,” I said. “I’ve got nothing to say to you.”
“I know, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what happened,” he tried.
“Didn’t you hear her?” Abby interjected. “She said she’s got nothing to say to you!”
“I heard,” Chad said. “I just wanted her to know.”
“I know,” I cut in. “Now get out of here. I don’t want to talk to you.”
He looked from one of us to the other, clearly defeated. But, I held my ground. I wasn’t going to talk to him, and I didn’t want to hear his b.s. apology about what happened. I wasn’t even sure he really was sorry. He likely just heard the rumors that were going around and felt like a jerk for what he’d done.
I wasn’t buying it. I didn’t want anything to do with him or really anyone else in the school besides Abby. And I really didn’t want word getting out about what he had done to me, either.
It wasn’t that I wanted to protect him or his reputation, but I didn’t want to throw an attempted rape on top of everything else. I had gone through a lot as it was, I didn’t want to be that girl all over again.
“What a creep,” Abby said when Chad finally left us. “I’m proud of you.”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure what he wants from me. He can be sorry all he wants, but I’m not going to be his friend, and he’s certainly not going to get a second chance.”
“Good,” she said with conviction. “You don’t need to deal with that kind of b.s. in your life. He should be in jail, if you ask me.”
“Well, he’s not,” I said rather shortly. She gave me a sidelong glance, but let the subject drop. I sighed. I knew I shouldn’t snap at her, and I knew she was just trying to help, but there were some things I also knew she couldn’t do for me.
It didn’t help that she didn’t want to talk about any of her own problems, either. I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t her job to tell me that I wasn’t the only one with a messed up life, but the fact that she didn’t tell me anything that was going on with her only added to my curiosity.
Then again, there was little I could do. I had to just go along with what she wanted to share with me and let the rest go. There really was no way I could drag it out of her, and I didn’t want to try.
But, lunch was rather quiet. I didn’t want to talk about my problems, and she didn’t want to talk about hers. So, we spent the hour gossiping about Chad and what he had done to me in my room, and the fact that I wasn’t going to be overly friendly to anyone in school anymore.
The rest of the day dragged by, but, I had to admit, I would have spent another hour at school if it meant I could avoid Susan when I got home. I thought it would be Damon waiting to talk to me, but, instead, his mother was in the kitchen when I walked in.
“Hey,” she said with a smile. But, there was something about her tone that just seemed off to me.
“Hey,” I said.
“Do you want some pie?” she asked. She slid a plate with a slice of cherry pie toward me, and I grabbed a fork.
“Thanks.”
“How was school?” she asked.
“It was fine,” I said shortly. I knew she was just trying to be nice, but I didn’t want to open up to her. I was still angry for a number of reasons, and I wasn’t ready to let any of them go.
“How are your grades?” she asked. She smiled, but I could see something I could only peg as worry in her eyes.
“They’re fine,” I said uncertainly. “Is there something wrong?”
“No,” she said quickly. “I just wanted to check in with you. You know, make sure you’re doing okay.””
“I’m fine,” I said. I grabbed my things and took my pie with me as I headed for the bottom of the stairs. “I’m going to go put on something comfortable.”
“Okay,” she said. “Let me know if you need anything, or if you just want to hang out. I’m not doing anything this afternoon, and it’s been a while since you and I just hung out.”
“I’ll let you know,” I said, but I had no intention of going back downstairs until it was time for dinner. I didn’t want to hang out with Susan, and I didn’t want to be in the kitchen when Damon finally did get home.
I had a lot on my mind, and I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone. Not Susan, not Damon, not my counselor. Not even with Abby if she wasn’
t going to be open with me.
I would just close myself in my room and let the day pass by. It would be one more day I survived, one more day I’d gotten through in this hell that had become my life.
There would be plenty more, I was sure of that, but at least this one would be gone for good.
One more down, one more closer to graduation.
And one more closer to getting as far away from Secret Bay as possible.
Chapter 5
Damon
“All I’m saying is that she’s single, and she hasn’t had any other guy around the place. When she goes out, she’s always just with other women,” I said.
Dean smiled. “I guess that’s one good thing.”
“Come on, I miss having you around the house, and I’m sure she misses you more than she’s letting on. I mean, she doesn’t talk about you with me, but she knows that I’m pissed at her for breaking up with you in the first place, so that might be part of the reason,” I said.
Dean nodded, then he looked over at me. “Are you really that mad at her?”
“Yeah I am,” I said as I nodded fiercely. “You were the closest thing that I had to a father, and she just dumped you and kicked you out of our lives for no reason. Was there a reason?"
I hesitated before I asked the question. I knew there had to be some sort of reason for my foster mom to dump her boyfriend.
I hated my biological father, though I didn’t really remember much about him. My early years had been full of turmoil, and I was in and out of the foster care system a lot. I was technically still in it, though I had been with Susan for most of my childhood.
Up until quite recently, I considered her to be my mother. Sure, we didn’t always get along, but there wasn’t a kid on the planet who got what he wanted all the time. At least, not the good kids.
But, when Susan broke up with Dean and told him he had to get out of our lives, things changed between us. I was a lot more distant toward her than I had been, and though I’d always been on the rebellious side of things, I took that to a whole new level as well.